The holidays can be emotionally tough on all of us. They can be even harder to cope with if you are alone.

There is a good article on PsychCentral.com, 10 Things to Do If You’re Alone for the Holidays. The sidebar also has some helpful guides for coping not only with Thanksgiving, but with relatives, stress, alcohol and overeating.

-Meremystic

I’m reading 7 Ancient Keys to Happiness – A 90 Day, Lesson-a-Day Guide to Achieving Inner-Bliss on my Kindle.

There is a new video on Psychic Jim1537’s YouTube channel. This video is about using gratitude as a powerful tool for transformation. Using the law of attraction and the power of affirmations, this video explains how gratitude can help you manifest the spiritual, emotional and financial blessings that you deserve!

Here’s the video:

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And if you are interested in your own private session with Jim1537, click here to begin or visit Jim1537.com for more information.

It’s easy to fall back on the old cliché in our lives that history always repeats itself because as human beings, we often do just that. However, it doesn’t always have to be a matter of continuing the “same old song and dance” in our journey as we indeed can change things for the better where we forge new patterns, pathways, and outcomes.

Yet, putting in the effort to transform our journey is not only about psychologically breaking old habits that we’ve manifested in this lifetime, but also entails understanding from a spiritual/metaphysical perspective the tremendous amount of karma (both good and bad) that we’ve brought into this incarnation from our past lives. We can either repeat history, or ultimately, move our journey into a different direction where wondrous, new chapters can be written by us.

Our “History” and Karma

Most of us understand that the events which happened in our past lives have a tremendous impact on what is going on right now in our current incarnation. Regarding former incarnations, we carry over the karmic consequences (both good and bad) of our actions into subsequent lifetimes, including the one we’re living in currently. What is referred to as being “lesson driven” means that our lives can change once we’ve learned a particular lesson. If we’ve spiritually agreed to go through something, we will have to experience it, and the way we handle it determines if our lives move in a better direction or not.

If something is karmic, lesson driven and you’ve spiritually agreed to go through it, you won’t be able to stop repeating “history” until and unless you complete the agreement. Think of it like school: If you didn’t pass mathematics in grade 11, “history” would keep repeating itself (meaning you’d have to take this academic course again until you passed it). Then, you would be able to manifest a new path by moving toward getting your diploma and graduating.

Furthermore, if one doesn’t complete the spiritual lessons/agreements/karma they’ve agreed to, it is likely that they would create even more karma, and therefore, have a deeper, harder and more complex set of lessons to deal with in the future within this lifetime or subsequent incarnations.

In his most recent prior physical lifetime, Dominic was a man who was selfish and inconsiderate where his wife Sharon and their two children were completely victimized by his lack of caring for them. In that lifetime, when Sharon got sick, he abandoned her and walked out on his kids because he didn’t want “the hassle” of having to take care of his wife. After Dominic left, Sharon became gravely ill, died, and his kids were devastated. So through Dominic’s actions, he created a tremendous amount of negative karma that irrevocably damaged his family in that prior incarnation.

In his current incarnation, Dominic, his former wife Sharon and their two kids all reincarnated together in the exact same type of family unit as before: Dominic as the father, Sharon as his wife, their daughter and son as the children. This is because all four souls spiritually agreed to resolve this negative karma. Dominic came into this lifetime with the same selfish tendencies as before, yet with the spiritual intention of getting past his old behaviors and not repeating “history”; he was still resistant to paying off his karmic debt to his wife and kids because of egotistical attachment to his past selfish behavior.

Yet, Dominic still wanted to manifest his dreams of being rich and successful, except his karmic agreement stated that he wouldn’t be able to realize his dreams until and unless he paid his karmic debt to his wife and children. Then, and only then, would the door open for him to manifest the success and wealth Dominic wanted and he could write a new chapter of his spiritual/karmic history.

Even though he struggled with changing his old ways, Dominic ultimately did resolve his karmic debt with his wife and children through loving and supporting them emotionally, financially and in daily life. This ultimately allowed Dominic to once and for all stop repeating history and change not only his, but everyone’s journey for the better.

The history of past life patterns

We often hold onto patterns and personal attachments for more than one lifetime. If we look at how stubborn some people are that we know in our current lifetime, it shouldn’t be a surprise that we not only carry behavioral qualities and beliefs throughout our current physical life, but with us on the other side and subsequently into future incarnations.

Cheryl had been a Christian religious zealot in her last two incarnations. This prevented her from being able to write new chapters in her journey as she couldn’t accept others for who they were as she was steeped in judgment and condemnation of others. This created illness in Cheryl’s body, as her rigidity in outlook, attitude and words made her stiff with chronic, debilitating, crippling arthritis. 

In her current incarnation, she carried the same attachment and beliefs as she did before. It was familiar, felt comfortable, and with that connection, she was convinced that the wrath and judgment of a vengeful God was her motto to live by. So whenever she perceived others as being wrong or committing a sin, she fell back on the familiar pattern of condemning them. So in the same sense that we speak of people hitting their heads against the wall, that’s exactly what Cheryl was doing again. And she started manifesting the same health problems as she did in her two prior incarnations where her joints and entire body once again became debilitating stiff.

This lifetime, however, was different because her higher self was looking to transcend and rise above this pattern as she was looking to grow and turn over a new leaf. Yet, the key was in letting go of the old attachments and beliefs that had been so familiar and comfortable to her from deep within. That would be what she’d have to do in this lifetime to not keep repeating the same old negative history.

Through being receptive to her higher self, she started growing one step at a time by becoming less judgmental of others. Over the years, she reached a point where she no longer felt compelled to be the judge and the jury regarding other people’s behaviors and started accepting everyone for who they are. This relieved the crippling health problems that had been created within her through condemnation and judgment of others. Cheryl’s acceptance of others literally opened her energy within to receive the new blessings of a healthy flexible body.

As with Cheryl or any of us, there is no rule of thumb as to when one would let go of an attachment, and therefore, move toward changing our personal history. We all have the free will to hold onto something as long as we wish. No two souls grow and evolve at the same rate, so there’s no mathematical number that indicates how long anyone will stay at the same level of consciousness.  Some people hold onto something for a year, while others may stay attached to something for countless lifetimes. As with Cheryl’s case, it took about two and a half lifetimes to bring about the transformation needed so that she could forge a new direction. It was well worth her effort, as she freed herself and healed her physical body in the process.

Programmed for history to repeat itself

Sometimes there are patterns and dynamics within a family which program us to repeat history. This can be done by the reinforcement of what our family teaches us, and/or by the beliefs we adopt based on what we’ve observed and experienced.

Hugh’s father Hank died from a heart attack at the age of 56, out of the blue and without warning. This happened when Hugh was just 15 years old. This experience had such an impact on Hugh that he started to believe the old mainstay: like father, like son, and would frequently tell people that he, too, was going to die of a heart attack at the age of 56 just like his father did.

As the years went on, his belief never wavered, and the programming along with the power of Hugh’s spoken word caused history to simply repeat itself: At the age of 56, Hugh dropped dead of a heart attack one day in his back yard, just as his father had, also out of the blue and without warning. Yet what Hugh went through was not unusual as many of us “pick up” our programming through our families and just carry it out.

Violet grew up in the years of the great depression, where her family was deeply impoverished. This experience programmed her to hold onto the belief of poverty, and even though Violet became financially well-to-do through marriage at the age of 30, she continued to always “cry broke.” Even though she now had money through her husband, Violet would frequently speak of going to the poor house and she lived with the constant terror that someday, her future would be an impoverished one.

Because of Violet perpetuating this programming through her belief and words, she did eventually lose all of her money. Widowed at the age of 65, Violet died with barely a penny to her name at the age of 81.

With both Hugh and Violet, history repeated itself through the programming that first started in their childhoods, and was continued through their belief that this was just the way life is. It was as matter of fact to them as the sun rising in the morning.

Old programming, (even when it’s not positive), is comfortable like an old shoe. It can be hard to let go of something, even when it’s not good for us that makes us feel complacent. 

The familiarity and comfort of old patterns in this incarnation

Experts such as psychologists and psychiatrists believe that within our current lives, we adopt beliefs, patterns, and emotional attachments. This can start as early as our toddler years, and continue through our moment of death. However, it’s usually thought of that we “pick up” these things from early childhood. 

When children get too much of an unhealthy type of TLC (tender loving care) and attention from getting sick, it creates an emotional feeling that being ill means receiving nurturing, comfort, and pampering.

When a child carries that emotional pattern into adulthood, illness becomes a misguided way of still attempting to seek comfort, TLC and nurturing. There are certain adults who “enjoy” being sick as they’re caught in the old formula of “sickness = comfort.” Over and over again, they recreate the same scenario of getting sick like a repetitive tape loop as this type of person starts to manifest illness when they’re stressed, or when they want comfort. Often, the actual health issues become worse as the same behavior mechanisms that tie into staying home from school when you’re 7 and having mom‘s chicken soup with sniffles also apply to manifesting a deadly cancer at age 49.

Tammy was 23 when she went through her first serious relationship break up, and the way she consoled herself was by overeating as a form of comfort through replacing the love she had just lost with food. At that time, she was thin, but gained twenty-five pounds from about six months of overeating.

Then, as her life progressed, she never really noticed that any time her love life was in turmoil, or that she was stressed in general, Tammy would turn to food as a source of comfort. This pattern kept her weight going up and down over the next twenty years until she became seriously obese at the age of 43. Tammy reached a point in her journey where she felt that she had hit rock bottom, yet had no idea what to do. It was like she woke up with the house on fire, but had no way to put it out. She finally realized that she kept repeating what had become a dreadfully hellish history, but didn’t know what to do about it or how to fix it.

The crisis point of wanting to stop repeating history

Most of us go along with the choices and patterns that we feel comfortable with (regardless of whether they’re good or bad for us and others) till we experience a crisis point in our lives as Tammy did.

The term “crisis” can have a terrifying implication in our daily mundane lives such as when a loved one is in the hospital, seriously ill and potentially near death.  However, in spiritual terns, “crisis” indicates that a life altering crossroad is occurring in someone’s journey which can lead to ending an old, negative pattern and bring about a positive, fantastic change. With that motivation we receive from a spiritual crisis point, we seek to stop repeating history and transform our lives in the right way.

For Tammy, she used her weight crisis as the motivation to turn things around. She looked back at when she first started overeating, and immediately recognized the reason of why, when and how it all started. This gave her the clarity to see that she had been using food as a crutch and source of comfort for twenty years. With that in mind, she made the commitment to stop perpetuating the same old awful song and dance by breaking the old pattern of overeating for comfort. It’s wonderful to know that Tammy did lose the weight she needed to and permanently redirected her relationship to food.

Yet, unlike in Tammy’s case, we often see how many of us struggle with being able to bring about the meaningful change we desperately claim that we want even when we’ve reached a crisis point in our lives. We are passionate about wanting to write a whole new chapter in our history, but we can’t seem to do so at all, not matter how hard we try.  

The survival conflict within and our defense mechanisms

If something isn’t karmic, lesson driven, or spiritually agreed to, then we can indeed stop repeating history by changing ourselves — yet that isn’t always as easy as it sounds on the surface. It’s usually that our own ego, defense mechanisms, and emotions are in the way of the blessings we seek. In reality, we are often quite conflicted as to the change we’re trying to make, where one part of us wants to stop repeating the same old negative historical patterns (usually our higher spiritual self), while conversely, another part of us (usually our lower self and negative emotions), fights tooth and nail to keep the old, dark, familiar patterns alive. That is because we’re receiving an internal payoff from our own negativity and have attachments to it.

I’ve seen countless people go into therapy, meditate, say affirmations for years and even decades, yet to no avail. Why is that?

The key to changing our history for the better is that our thoughts must be simple, unified and possess oneness of intention regarding what we’re trying to manifest. You must understand that you have to become one within yourself and in a complete state of harmony with what it is that you’re trying to attract – all the way down to the subconscious mind. “Getting it” mentally does little if anything to change history for the better at all. It’s like the cliché of talking the talk, but not walking the walk. You have to “get it’ emotionally, which is much harder to do. Think of this process like a freight train: the engine is the conscious mind and up front; all the cars after that are like the various emotional bodies and defenses within; and last but not least is the caboose, which is the subconscious mind.

Sandra was a woman who had innocently fallen in love with David, her high school sweetheart, when they were both 17. Everything appeared idyllic: they married when they both turned 21, he was studying to become a lawyer, and they planned to have a child once he passed the bar exam.

Yet, through the years, David’s personality shifted, and who he became wasn’t positive: after passing the bar, he started making a lot of money as a corporate attorney, his ego swelled, and he started becoming abusive: first emotionally, then physically. This all started to occur when Sandra became pregnant after they were married for three years. After she gave birth to their daughter Sasha, it was typical for David to tell Sandra that she was undesirable, ugly and at times when he was stressed, he would often hit her.

So after fifteen years of marriage, Sandra and David divorced. Sandra, now 36, proclaimed that she was ready to meet the love of her life. “Out with the old and in with the new!” was the triumphant motto Sandra often said. She sounded determined, positive, and up about what she wanted.

Except there were some serious problems: Yes, in her conscious mind, she wanted to be loved. However, emotionally and subconsciously, the last thing she desired was to be in a loving relationship. There were three core issues preventing this: First, she was terrified of commitment. From a survival level, commitment meant being cheated on, abused, and treated horribly. This makes sense, because it was all Sandra experienced. Since it’s all she knew, this fear was branded deeply into her subconscious, which worked to keep all viable candidates who could love Sandra away. This was clearly designed to protect her from getting hurt again. Additionally, Sandra’s self esteem was so battered in her marriage that emotionally and subconsciously, she came to believe that she deserved to be abused. Lastly, because David stopped making love to her long before they were divorced, she wanted passionate, wild sexual excitement because it had been missing in her life for so long.

With that, Sandra attracted the type of men she truly wanted emotionally and subconsciously: unattainable, abusive, and sexually passionate. In a perverse way, she was getting exactly what she wanted, except that it all came from her lower self and dark emotions.

She made the same mistakes that I’ve seen countless people do: It is falsely presumed that if you want to manifest something in life, you just have to affirm it, visualize it, and want it. “Go for it!” people proclaim. “Move forward with your life!” are the types of slogans many declare.

It is just not that simple. Often, we are in complete conflict internally with what we claim we want. That must be addressed or history will most certainly repeat itself like a broken record playing over and over again. It is like a house: if the foundation is crooked, it doesn’t matter how you decorate the penthouse.

So what did Sandra do? Instead of truly coming to terms with her situation which is what she would have needed in order for her to transform her journey in the right way, she decided to just be one of the many people who talk the talk, but don’t walk the walk. Sandra refused to look at the underlying issues that kept bringing in the same type of man into her life. Stubbornly denying the real problems and issues within, she kept affirming and pushing for the lover that never came, because she wasn’t really willing to do what it would take to turn things around for the better.

A new chapter of history can be written

As we see with Sandra, we all need to make sure to not get caught in our own traps, but sincerely work on “getting it” emotionally and subconsciously. That takes absolute sincerity, a deep emotional commitment and working to understand the conflicts within and coming to terms with them. Don’t merely look at what you’re saying; that doesn’t take hardly any effort at all as most people can easily talk the talk.

Look at what you’re feeling, as most people operate from the emotional level (regardless of whether their feelings are healthy and loving, self-delusional, or dark and harmful to themselves and others). Be self-honest about what it is that you feel – acknowledge all parts of your emotional bodies, not just the parts that are self-flattering and only validate what you want.

See it all: The good, the bad and the ugly! Look at your lower self, ego and defense mechanisms. As everything we go through affects who we are, stop and ask yourself how did your past hurts change you? You may not want your ex-lover (just as Sandra didn’t want her ex-husband David back either), but it isn’t that simple. Sandra’s marriage and divorce caused her to shut down and lose parts of herself. In your own situation, what has caused you to short circuit your blessings? We must become an open channel to receive what we’re asking for by removing what is in the way of the good we seek. It’s about understanding that whatever dualities are within you must be resolved. We must become like a crystal clear pure glass of refreshing water.

 Here are some simple tips and guidelines:

1-Decide in clear terms what your goal and intention is. It must be based on your higher spiritual self, as your dreams need to align with the path of you highest good, which will enrich not only your life, but others’ as well.

2-Acknowledge how you feel, including all of the conflicting emotions about your issue. Be self-honest.

3-Look at what blocks and barriers are within you that stand in the way of what you’re seeking. Work toward letting them go.

4-Move toward your dreams by never building on any emotions and choices that take you away from your goal, but build on everything that moves you toward what you want. If the goal is to quit drinking, don’t go to bars or be in situations where alcohol is being consumed. If you want a romantic commitment, don’t waste any time with those who don’t share the same dream.

5-As they say that Rome wasn’t built in a day, stay the course and realize that it takes time to “get it” emotionally and subconsciously, and then, when that happens, change will occur for the better.

6-Do this with utter sincerity, gratitude, and inspiration.

Here are some simple don’ts:

1-DO NOT feel that you’re running out of time and in a hurry because that delays manifestation even more.

2-DO NOT be defiant and angry as that will prevent you from manifesting anything good.

3-DO NOT feel like you’re a victim because it blocks you from connecting with your blessings.

4-DO NOT have a defensive attitude toward your growth and resentment about your situation as that will short circuit your goals and dreams.

5-DO NOT feel that life has been unfair to you because that belief will absolutely keep the same old negativity continuing.

As we look at our lives from a higher perspective, we see that as human beings, we often get caught up in the belief that history always repeats itself. In reality, it doesn’t have to, yet it takes more than merely a capricious, half-hearted effort to bring about the wondrous changes we seek.

It isn’t just about saying, “I want what I want and it better happen right now!”

Once you’ve identified the problems and construct the right plan, you must stay the course – don’t deviate from it as that is a sure-fire way to trip yourself up. Make every day a moment in time that moves you closer to your dreams and not further away from them.

With the simple resolve to heal the issues within and remove what’s in our own way, we can truly become open, and with that, ultimately manifest our heart’s true divine desire. Then, we don’t have to keep repeating history anymore – as a brand new wondrous chapter not only begins to be written, but becomes the foundation of a fruitful future.

This is done through feeling and building on the inspirational fire within; it is the belief that a better day is truly ours to come — and we need to be continually grateful that it is an established fact in divine mind. Remember that at this moment, it already IS written in the heavens as a new chapter of your history; therefore, it can manifest in the physical world where all magical things are possible. Welcome it with open arms and make all parts of you: your conscious mind, words, thoughts, emotions, choices, and ultimately your subconscious mind unify into a complete state of clarity, belief, purpose, and oneness of intention. Then, it is yours.

We tend to be quite confident in our perception of people’s behaviors, situations, the things we observe as well as what we experience in our own lives. As we get older, we believe even more strongly that we clearly perceive what is going on with others as well as ourselves, situations that are around us and what’s occurring in the world at large.

Regarding others, we tell ourselves that we have the right to make a judgment where we label their situations, behaviors, and choices as right or wrong. And we convince ourselves that our viewpoint and perspectives are truly the correct ones. Yes, we indeed believe that we know the truth!

Things need to make sense to us in a clear, black and white fashion and we reassure ourselves that life’s issues are as simple as 2+2 equals 4. Quick answers and rapid-fire solutions are what we look for and expect.

However, everyone’s lives and situations (including our own), are far more complicated than we believe, as life is hardly ever black or white. If this journey (which we all struggle with), was really that simple, hardly anyone would have the problems, confusion and difficulties that they wrestle with consistently.

Everything that we can see with our human senses is only the very tip of the iceberg in any situation, because with all that occurs on earth, there is far more to the story than meets the eye. I would like to offer a deeper understanding of life’s complexities and mysteries: First, from a human point of view, and ultimately from a metaphysical, and spiritual perspective, which will hopefully add more clarity as to why things happen in the way that they do.

Our reactions

Even if we’re only looking at this lifetime and not prior incarnations, our reactions to what we see and experience now are to some degree based on past experiences, which have shaded and colored our perceptions. Every moment we go through and each minuscule input our senses receive shapes the way we see things in one way or another.

We don’t asses a situation with the clear and open mind that we so confidently think we do. This is because we bring our past “stuff” into the way we look at something now, as every former experience contributes to how we view the world.

If a woman is offering an opinion about a man who is abusing his wife, would she see it the same, or differently had she also been abused in the past, versus if she had not? Of course it would influence her perspectives as her experiences color her viewpoint because she has been abused.

Therefore, whenever we look at our reactions to any situation, we must look deeper than just how something hits us in a knee-jerk response, and in the capriciousness of the moment. It’s time to sincerely ask ourselves how our past experiences are actually shaping us at any given time, and begin to see what our reactions really say about us, who we are, and how we assess life’s complexities.

The “P” factor

Our prejudices play a huge part in the way we perceive situations, and society at large is quite aware of the obvious discriminatory factors that are systemic throughout the world: race, gender, creed, and sexual orientation. However, it is also the case with other prejudices that are insidious and subtle, but still nonetheless, quite potent.

Our prejudgments of situations and other people limit our ability to have a truly open mind and to see something clearly and more objectively. When any situation triggers one of our prejudices, we immediately lose any semblance of clear, dispassionate insight.

Besides the obvious, people can discriminate based on countless things such as a person’s size, their economic status, even whether they come from old money or only recently became prosperous, and where they were educated. Whether it is the way one speaks or the type of clothes they wear, these things can trigger prejudiced reactions in others. If someone is thin or overweight, or if they’re perceived as attractive or not, also causes discriminatory attitudes in others.

There was a compelling and credible study I read a few years ago that scientifically concluded that children who were deemed “attractive” were treated far better by their teachers than those who weren’t considered so.

That’s why jury consultants are paid huge amounts of money to assess the prejudices of the prospective jury pool, and know how to manipulate and maneuver those factors in their side’s favor in order to achieve the verdict they desire.

Prejudice of all kinds is everywhere, even though we squeamishly like to shy away from that fact. What we need to do is no longer stick our heads in the sand, but rather, acknowledge our part of this systemic problem that is so prevalent in the world, even if we don’t carry the obvious prejudice based on race.

It’s time for us to look at any aspect of prejudgment we carry, and let go of those blinded perceptions that limit our ability to view any situation with clarity so we can move closer to the truth of any person, experience, and situation.

Don’t be fooled by appearances

We are often quite fooled by appearances, especially in today’s society, where image and illusion are everything. Whether it is models that have their magazine photos perfectly air brushed to politicians who always try and give the image of being a fine, decent, upstanding citizen, there is often quite a disparity between appearance and reality.

No matter what the appearance of a situation may be, what we perceive and see may or may not be truthful. However, we arrogantly think of ourselves as good judges of character and easily able to just look at people and situations with complete clarity. How wrong those assumptions are….

Even within the illusions, though, they cut any number of different ways: sometimes the religious politician, married with kids who everyone adores is actually cheating on his wife with a mistress. Conversely, there are times when a man who has been convicted multiple times of serious criminal offenses is not actually guilty for the current crime he’s being accused of.

In a court of law, a witness who speaks slowly, calmly, and unassumingly (even in they’re lying through their teeth), would stand a better chance of persuading the jury in their favor then a witness who would be harsh, loud, abrupt, and pushy (even if what they were saying is gospel truth). This shows how easily people are bamboozled by presentation.

We must understand that appearances often create illusions, which manipulate society at large, so it is incumbent upon us to do our best to rise above being tricked, and get beyond the appearances that fool us into assessing a person or situation unfairly and unclearly. This takes tenacity, diligence and the constant reminder that any of us have been and can still be duped. With that humility, we stand a better chance of seeing through the haze of appearance into the clarity of reality.

How we hear what others say

We are bombarded with information that hits us from all directions, and we’re greatly influenced by it even though we underestimate that fact as we falsely think that we’re making our own decisions. We are often manipulated by what we take in, sometimes quite directly, while other times, insidiously. It goes without saying that what we hear may or may not be true, especially because what is being stated reflect the prejudices, distortions, and personal issues of the person(s) dispensing that information and may also trigger our own “stuff” as well. And all of this distorts, and blurs the truth — often on purpose.

A man named Ken immediately decided that he didn’t like his new next door neighbor John because Ken perceived John as being gay. So Ken went on a carefully orchestrated campaign of trying to ruin John’s reputation in the small town community they lived in. Without proof or any factual evidence of John’s sexual orientation, Ken started telling everyone in the neighborhood within earshot that John was gay. That attempted smear campaign successfully caused some damage, as the neighbors stayed away from John and wouldn’t welcome him into the community or get to know him. The community’s response was based in part on their reactions to someone perceived to be gay, as well as their own prejudices.

Then, Ken took it further by saying that John was a pervert and a child molester. Since these issues are such hot buttons which elicit an instantaneous, hysterical response at the mere mention of them, the neighborhood immediately turned on John. Here, the community was fooled by appearances; the information they received was completely false. However, because it was said by someone they had known and trusted for a long time (Ken), they were fooled by his allegations. The neighbors all pretended to be concerned citizens, just trying to protect innocent young boys from this supposedly perverted monster, John.

After Ken kept disseminating this information, John’s reputation was ruined; everywhere he went, people stared at him, wouldn’t talk to him, and even shied away from him. Eventually, Ken started claiming that John was harassing him through sexual advances; this wasn’t true either. Even though Ken had no proof as these “advances” never occurred, the police (because of their own prejudices against gay people), bought into the lies that Ken was saying and issued John a stern warning to leave Ken alone. After being threatened by the police and fearing for his safety, John saw the writing on the wall, and had to move.

When peoples’ fears are played on, they can be easily manipulated. Often, powerful world leaders understand the power of appearances and how to fool people and have done so repeatedly throughout history. Because people pride themselves on not being able to be fooled, it makes it all that much easier for them to be “played.”

We often only hear what we want to hear, and buy into things that are not true because of our own issues, just as the neighborhood did regarding John. As spiritual people, it’s time for us to do our very best to get past such distortions, take a look at how we’re hearing what others say, and all of the layers of how and why we come to the conclusions that we do.

The actual physical reality doesn’t give us the truth

We like to think that a clear cut event is easily perceived the same by all rational people who witnessed it, however, that isn’t true. Even if there’s a simple physical occurrence like a car accident in plain view of ten witnesses, they will all give notably differing versions of the story. This says clearly that we always bring our “stuff” into any situation that we perceive, even though we think of ourselves as objective, fact finding people.

It’s the same thing with the game Chinese Telephone: it is well known that if you put fifteen people in a room and the first person says something simple like “The sky is going to be blue all day” to the second person, by the time it makes it around the room, the story will have changed.

And since we live on earth in this world of complete illusion, we falsely believe that whatever happens in a physical sense defines a situation factually – yet people can’t even agree on those simple physical events and occurrences.

However, even if everyone at the site of the car accident agreed that car number one plowed into the rear end of car number two and didn’t attempt to stop, this wouldn’t bring us to the actual truth of why things happen on earth. That spiritual truth is far more complex that we’ve ever imagined, and cannot be perceived merely by our own two ears and eyes, our logical minds, cognitive processes, and five limited senses.

The most important factor: The spiritual reasons

There is always more to the story than meets the eye. It is never merely about a quest to only find the actual physical truth as to why thing happen on earth, as if that in and of itself would answer all of our questions. There is always so much more to the story as to why, when, and how situations occur in our lives, around us and in the world at large.

Since there is absolute causality behind everything that happens and physics proves that fact, the old phrase of everything happens for a reason is spiritually true. However, sometimes that “reason” is not what we subjectively want or believe it to be; it’s not clear to our human senses, as we may not be able to see beyond into the spiritual realms where these “reasons” are agreed to by us before we incarnate into a physical lifetime. Yet because of our egos, we like to think that we know so much more than we really do regarding life’s complex issues and mysteries.

Past Lives, Karma, Dharma and Lessons to Learn

Whatever we’ve done in our prior lifetimes dramatically helps to set up where we’re at in our current incarnation. It can be said that at any given point in time, we are the sum total of everything we’ve ever thought, said, felt and done. In our former lifetimes, it is spiritually presumed that we have all performed wondrous, selfless acts of unconditional love; conversely, we have all committed egregious acts of violence as well.

No matter how spiritually advanced we may think we are, we all have karma (which is the repercussions, both good and bad, for our prior thoughts, feelings, words, and actions), or we wouldn’t be in the physical plane. Karmic lessons are difficult, never easily learned, and the circumstances around them can be sometimes viewed as humanly tragic.

In addition to our karma, our dharma is also a compelling factor as to why situations unfold in a certain way. Unlike our karma, our dharma has nothing to do with what we’ve done before, but is whatever lessons we have agreed to learn for our spiritual growth now. And since it is possible that our lessons can be absolutely anything we could ever imagine and beyond, we cannot judge any situation merely by its appearance, by what it seems to be or by physical events, because we may not understand the real spiritual back-story.

Jennifer was a fantastic actor, and her dream was to always make it in the theater. However, success always eluded her and she couldn’t understand why, as her talent was truly phenomenal. She would go into deep depression because she hadn’t “made it,” and even considered suicide. She frequently asked, “What is a life worth without a dream?”

What didn’t meet the eye, though, was that Jennifer had already been a successful stage actor in a prior incarnation. Since she already did this before, it was not for her highest spiritual good to repeat the same scenario again. Even though Jennifer was unaware of this fact, she spiritually agreed (before incarnating as Jennifer) to NOT be successful as an actor in her current lifetime, yet her human emotions just ate away at her.

For her current lifetime, it was spiritually agreed to that acting would only be Jennifer’s hobby and not her main career. Even though this humanly frustrated Jennifer tremendously, the dharmic lesson was for her to learn to become compassionate toward others; so nature supported the decision for Jennifer to evolve in that direction. Learning her dharmic lesson eventually led to her choosing to become a successful therapist: helping patients, writing books, and lecturing.

One aspect of Jennifer’s karma tied into her father. Jennifer’s father in this lifetime was also her father in a former incarnation. However, in the prior life, she depended so much on her father’s approval that she never blossomed and became her own person, which caused her life to stagnate in such a way that she didn’t complete her spiritual goals at all.

So in this lifetime, it was pre-agreed that Jennifer’s father would abandon her when she was just 14 years old and never be close to her in the future. This may sound cruel, but was necessary on a soul level for the crutch to be removed that held Jennifer back before. Initially, Jennifer felt totally lost without her father in her current incarnation, and it took her many years to come to terms with this, but it was part of her karmic lesson, so she had to go through it.

Jennifer’s father abandoning her could be viewed by any of us as horrible; however, it was spiritually meant to be. The experience was there for Jennifer’s spiritual growth.

Whatever we see with our own limited physical senses and perception can never be assumed to be the actual truth. Even if we perceive a situation without reactions based on what we’ve been through, prejudice, blinders, our own skewed perspective and we get “the facts” right, there are always much greater, deeper spiritual reasons as to why things happen. And when we think we “know the score” of any situation, we are quick to pass judgment, as if our viewpoint is absolute reality.

Don’t be so quick to judge

In the world we live in, judgment is everywhere: from cable television news shows where opinion is viewed as fact, to religious leaders who claim to have “the one true way,” to ordinary folks who just criticize and disparage people ’round the clock. With our small-mindedness, we think that we can look at something or someone, quickly assess it, offer our opinion as gospel truth, and dismiss it.

If someone is overweight, we assume that it’s because they overeat and don’t exercise. That’s all. However, what if they have a medical issue that doesn’t allow them to lose weight, such as a thyroid condition? What are the possible karmic and dharmic lessons that we may not be clear on?

When we see someone who’s an alcoholic, we label them as wrong, irresponsible and on a negative path. However, do we know why they ended up this way and how that may have factored into their current situation? Again, do we understand what this person’s karma or dharma is?

We think it lofty and pious to let go of judging, as if it’s a sweet gesture, but unattainable and ultimately, unnecessary.

Yet it’s not just that we need to let go of being non-judgmental so we can see ourselves as good people; or to not attract judgment to ourselves, as we know that what we say about others comes back to us. There is something far more profound: Even if we perceive the physical facts correctly (which we often don’t anyway), our judgments may not be spiritually truthful or accurate because we may not know the profound spiritual karma, dharma, and lessons that are involved.

Our judgments come from the part of us which houses the density and ugliness of our ego where we smugly and arrogantly think that we know so much, when in reality, we don’t. Sitting in judgment has been just like us constructing a solid brick wall within us that stands in the way of so many good things. We must once and for all stop being judgmental of situations, others, and even ourselves, to remove our self-created blocks and barriers to open the space within us to allow the divine sunlight to shine in our lives.

Through raising our vibrational energy, we begin to open our minds and make the journey to enlighten ourselves and see more deeply into a universe that is far more vast, multi-faceted and complex than we’ve ever imagined before.

This actually makes us more childlike, as it should, yet wiser, where we live in humility, wonder, and in magical awe of this very moment. When we are beyond judgment, we enter into the consciousness where we create a wide open door which allows our blessings to manifest in our lives. We can not only now connect with all that is for our highest good, but also, receive all the wondrous miracles in our lives we have always deserved, because now, we are open to them.