Voice of the Spirit

Since the advent of the self-help revolution in the 1960’s, beginning with the book I’m OK You’re OK, we’ve seen a transformation in society regarding how people see themselves and in the ways they interact with others. Before the self-help revolution began, people had far better manners and were more respectful of others but over the last four decades, that has all changed….

We currently live in a world where people’s main concern in life is about themselves – rather than for society as a whole. Now, people only look out for their own self interests often at the expense of everyone else, interrupt and talk over others, step on people to get ahead and disregard any concern for who gets hurt in the process. As long as we can be who we are and get what we want, it’s okay. Regarding romantic relationships, people only want to be with someone solely for what it brings to them –and not vice versa.

Because none of these qualities I’ve just described are flattering, some people pretend that they’re not behaving in these ways at all but claim to be kind, loving and considerate as a smokescreen to camouflage and hide the narcissism that fuels today’s society. On the other hand, others boldly celebrate how they could care less about how their actions affect others and proudly do whatever they want in any situation because they’re just being themselves.

How many times have we heard someone defend their actions with the comment, “I don’t care if you like it or not, because I’m just being who I am?” Sometimes people push it even further with the bold proclamation, “It’s all about me!” Think for a moment how odd it would be to hear someone say the opposite phrase of “It’s all about we!” I can’t recall ever hearing anyone say that.

Others declare, “I just have to speak my truth!” which is often a way of someone emotionally unloading whatever they want on another with little or no regard for the actual truth of a situation. However, using the word “truth” to preface their comments adds an aura of credibility.

So with this current cultural revolution of self-help that has been in the making for over four decades, people have now become boldly and selfishly empowered, louder, ruder and more inconsiderate than ever. Being loving toward others is seen as a weakness that sets us up to get stepped on. We say to ourselves, “I need to be pushy in this world to get what I want,” while looking out for #1 is seen as the ultimate positive thing to do. So is this a cultural crisis or just a sign of the times…?

The answers to truly understanding how society has so dramatically changed lie in us taking a deep look at how the self-help revolution has changed the way we see ourselves in relationship to the world as a whole. When looking at who we are and our actions, we now need to separate the bad from the good, the light from the dark, our higher spiritual self from our lower animal survival instincts — and not just defend our actions with the catch-all phrase, “I’m just being me!”

Being a victim — the gift that keeps on giving

Through the self-help revolution in our culture, we are taught to believe that we’re a society of victims and therefore, not responsible for our actions. What we do now that hurts others is not really our fault, but based on the negative things that happened to us before. Whether it’s our abusive childhood, being wounded in love, persecuted for being different, discriminated against or any other hardship we’ve incurred, there’s always a reason, explanation and a justification for our current negative behavior. In the 1990’s, the term the abuse excuse was a phrase constantly bantered about by lawyers discussing criminal cases on cable television when referring to defendants who tried to sidestep or claim diminished responsibility for their crimes based on being victimized before.

I have never met anyone who doesn’t feel that they’ve been abused in one way or another; bad things happen to all of us which is a terrible thing, but the real question should be, “What do we do with our former pain?” Do we heal our lives and become better people or does being the victim give us a free pass – to behave however we want to and feel like we’re entitled because of what we’ve been through before, all under the guise of proclaiming, “I’m just being who I am?”

When it’s the latter, we act out in selfish and harmful ways toward others and the world at large – cloaked in the seemingly excusable identification of victimization. As a society, what we’ve learned to do is to capitalize on being victims which helps us to not take responsibility for our actions. This allows us to just “be ourselves” but not stop and look at HOW we’re “being ourselves” and behaving toward others. Just being who we are is never good enough in and of itself as the explanation for how we interact with others.

Here’s a scenario of someone using victimization to strike out at others which I’ve experienced as a reader: A man was sexually abused when he was 9 by his mother so now at the age of 40, he’s someone who still hates women. Instead of trying to heal his pain, he excuses hurting the multiple women he’s dated for the last 20 years all because of what his mother did to him before — even saying to people who wish to help him, “I’m sorry, but this is just who I am and it’s because of what my mother did to me.” As we’ve all heard the old mainstay a million times of two wrongs don’t make a right, this is the excuse this man uses.

However, I’m not trying to trivialize his former pain, but to shed light on how he uses his past to justify that he’s just being who he is versus taking responsibility for his current behavior some thirty-one years later, regardless of what happened to him before.

Some people use excuses based on what happened to them in the past even when they’re merely casually involved with someone. Joe is a man who has been seeing Mary off and on for about a year and says to her, “I was so hurt by my ex wife that I can’t commit to you. I can only just be who I am now. I’m reading a new self-help book that’s teaching me how to take care of myself and learn to be me!”

However, Joe’s using what he went through along with reading a new self-help book as an abuse excuse of sorts to be able to behave selfishly and however he pleases with no consideration for Mary, all under the guise that he’s just being himself. His past hurt excuses his inconsistent behavior, his unwillingness to make a commitment and also allows him to cheat on her as well. Ostensibly, it all starts with Joe being a victim.

As a society, we no longer just sit there and take it lying down like we did so many decades ago, as we’ve been conditioned through the self-help movement to empower ourselves and stand up for ourselves – yet we need to ask the question, “Are all forms of empowerment really such a good thing…?”

Empowerment through being a victim – a terrible cocktail

Often, self-empowerment means that we become louder, more self-centered, narcissistic, and act out toward others. By initially feeling that we’re victims, it’s like pouring gasoline on fire; the justification of the pain of the past  makes us feel that we are entitled to hold our heads up high in a misguided way where we disregard and harm other people directly and egregiously.

We’re told that our problem is that we don’t like or love ourselves enough and that we must increase our self esteem – and that through doing that, we’ll become who we TRULY are and better yet, get all we want. However, there’s a catch: When people are wrapped up into the self- righteous feeling of victimization as the basis of their empowerment, their perspectives and actions are distorted, skewed and not clear-minded or spiritually centered. Such is the case in today’s world.

Overall, it’s gotten to the point where society as a whole builds its sense of empowerment through being victimized which means that the approach of our world is ripe with intense self-righteous justification, distortion, selfishness, pain turned outward at others, anger without filters and a warped set of narcissistic standards. This isn’t just witnessed in extreme circumstances such as an abusive romantic relationship, but in a setting as common as the workplace.

Marc was a man who felt that he had been unfairly targeted and unjustly fired at his former job. In the aftermath of losing his job, Marc began reading self-help books that taught him to be himself and become more empowered. So about 6 months later when he obtained a new job, he was determined to do just that which to Marc, meant saying whatever he pleased and not filtering or self-censoring himself.

In his new job, Marc immediately started giving his opinions to coworkers about what he liked and didn’t like about the workplace, even though it wasn’t solicited. In meetings, he interrupted, talked over others and didn’t listen to what people said to him but Marc made sure that his opinions were heard. When coworkers tried to explain to him that he was doing something wrong, Marc would respond with statements such as, “Are you my boss? Since you’re not, I’ll do things my way.”

Because he initially got away with such behavior, Marc became worse. He would sometimes try and get others to do his work for him, and even tried to take credit for work that others did. Needless to say, Marc’s sense of empowerment through feeling like a victim led to him behaving in selfish, inconsiderate ways with complete disregard of how he affected upon others. This all caused him to get fired once again, just as he was before.

When empowerment is highly emotionally charged based on past victimization without clearly defined parameters of how our actions affect others, we hardly stop to look at the various shades, dynamics and tones of our behavior. It’s as if we erroneously believe that we’re just standing up for ourselves and that everything about us is okay – which is not true. All parts of ourselves are not good, likeable, lovable or even tolerable as we saw in the case of how Marc treated others in the workplace.

So what do we do, then? Is it all too complex to fix?  On one hand, we don’t want to hurt others, but we keep telling ourselves that it’s a tough world out there and have to look out for number 1! Worse yet, do we really even care enough as a society to do anything about this? If we’re being honest, we’re on a quest to simply get what we want and be whoever we want to be without concern for others.

The death of polite society, manners and self-censorship

We now live in a world where people don’t really take responsibility for their actions anymore. We’ve come to believe that we’re a society of victims which means that we didn’t create our problems in the first place, and therefore, we have to empower ourselves to supposedly feel better and live happier lives. However, in order for any of us to become healthy individuals from a spiritually centered perspective, we must take responsibility for our actions and how we treat others. Being wounded, as we all have been, shouldn’t ever excuse or justify behaving badly toward others.  

Through the last four decades or so, we’ve slowly seen the erosion of polite society, manners and the consideration of others, which ties into everybody’s quest to boldly behave in a “me first” fashion. As the great science fiction writer Robert Heinlein once said, “Manners are the oil that greases the wheels of society.” Without manners, society starts to crumble. I think everyone would agree that we live in a harsher, less considerate, more violent and frightening world than before. We use to have filters in our behavior which greatly minimalized the narcissistic and even sociopathic behavior so commonplace today.

Ken, like many of us, doesn’t care about manners or being polite and just does whatever he pleases without consideration for others. When he bought a new house and moved in, Ken immediately started parking only in front of his next door neighbor Alice’s house. Ken wouldn’t park in front of his own house even though there were two open spaces there because he always wanted to leave those parking spaces for his friends in case they visited him. In addition, it was also a statement of territorial dominance over Alice.

What he did wasn’t illegal, but certainly was inconsiderate, rude and cruel, especially because Alice had serious trouble walking which Ken knew about, so not being able to park in front of her own house meant longer distances for Alice to walk.

When Alice tried to ask Ken to please park in front of his own house, Ken told Alice that her legs weren’t his concern and that he could park wherever he wanted to. Because of Ken’s lack of consideration for the situation, the condition of Alice’s legs became far worse as time went on as there was nothing she could do about changing the parking situation.

As with Ken, it’s quite easy for us to lose our manners and behave harmfully toward others because of how society has eroded along with giving into our animalistic human nature. Very few people posses the level of spiritual evolution to resist and rise above the seductiveness of their lower self, so we simply forget about being polite or having manners at all. Since it’s the way of the world, we can do it too.

Hurting others is easy, because it ties into our deep seated instinct to survive and stay alive, where we need to feel superior and in control by dominating and stepping on others. It is still the ancient kill-or-be-killed mindset that we’re living by.

When we join our survival mechanisms with empowerment through feeling victimized, lose our manners and forget self-censorship, it creates a disaster in society where we’re once again back to living in the jungle — except now we have fully functioning cities to act this out in.

We have all the justifications we need to make us exempt from responsibility and give us a green light for our actions: victimization, empowerment, being who we are and disregarding manners. Whether it’s in the office, with our spouses, how we treat our neighbors or interact with the world in general, we’ve lost the basic sense of consideration, politeness and self-censorship that must be restored to our world if we hope to see society functioning in a better, more harmonious and peaceful way.

 Your higher self “me” vs. your lower self “me”

As we look at the dramatic changes that have occurred over the last four decades or so in our society, we need to ask ourselves if we’re contributing to the problem or helping to make the world a better place. The key to understanding our behavior is to see that there are two clearly different sides to us as it pertains to being ourselves.

One side comes from the individuality within our higher self. This is where we were created in Divine mind and where our uniqueness is true to our essence. Here, we behave lovingly toward ourselves and others at all times and are considerate, supportive, helpful, giving, kind, and generous.

Conversely, the other side of our individuality comes from our lower self. This is where we behave in ways that are selfish, inconsiderate, seriously hurtful to others, and where our existence is based on primitive survival mechanisms.

So instead of just blanketly proclaiming, “I’m just being me!” we need to separate the positive parts of our individuality from the negative. In short, we all have both good and bad qualities; which on the surface sounds so utterly simple to grasp. However, when we’re on a quest to just be us based on victimization, empowerment due to being a victim and throwing away our manners, we completely blur the good and the bad together.

The key to accurately understand how we’re behaving as opposed to just blindly “being ourselves” without concern for how we impact on others is to see the clear distinction between our higher self and our lower self. As your individuality exists in both parts, it’s important to first learn how to recognize the difference between our higher self and our lower self to begin the healing process.

First, remember that from a spiritual perspective, life is never just one-way, but always a two-way street. Meaning, it something is truly spiritually for the highest good, it benefits EVERYONE involved and not just one person versus another.

There is a great concept that lays the foundation for understanding the difference between your higher self “me” versus your lower self “me.” Always look at every situation and ask yourself if your actions are first loving toward yourself and then, are they also loving toward all others involved. If your answer is truly “yes” to both, then you’re being yourself in a positive way that is both enriching to you and everyone you interact with, which brings good to others and back to you. By building positive karma and being a benefit to this world, the quality of your life and everyone you interact with will improve immeasurably.

Usually, most of us don’t have a problem being loving toward ourselves as we usually put us first even though we like to pretend that we don’t. However, what about everyone else who is involved? Our actions MUST be loving toward them as well; not just when it’s convenient to us, but all the time. That takes consistency and diligence because as a society, we’ve sunken to an all time low of selfishness, inconsideration, stepping on others and narcissism.

If what we’re doing harms another, it’s not coming from our higher self. However, we rationalize and make excuses for our actions as a way of still holding onto our desire to just behave in whatever way we want to. Doing the right thing (which always takes others into consideration) requires real effort and spiritual growth. Just giving into phrases like, “I’m just being me” and “Too bad if you don’t like it” require no work at all.

Just because we don’t kill people or commit heinous crimes does not mean that we aren’t creating negative karma on a regular basis. Most people on this earth don’t murder or rape others. The negative karma we create is being done in socially acceptable, tolerable ways and/or in situations that are hidden from view. Remember, infinite intelligence sees and records everything, so we never really “get away with it” as we so erroneously tend to believe.

The solution is not to just increase your self esteem, like and love everything about you, forget manners while becoming narcissistically empowered, but to begin looking at how what we do impacts on others in all situations.

The solution for a better world where you’re still you

We tend to think that either we’re being who we are which we see as empowering and liberating, or that we’re going to have to hold ourselves back by blending in with others which means that we have to “sell out” and behave in ways that everyone else deems appropriate. However, that is not true.

From a spiritual perspective, each of us is a unique one-of-a-kind masterpiece. Only you can do what you were sent into this world to do and absolutely no one else on this planet could even begin to take your place and fulfill your purpose.

However, we are here to offer our individuality through our gifts to others and to the overall collective which contributes to this world by serving the Divine purpose. It is never about us just behaving like spoiled children and loudly shouting, “I want what I want!” and “I’m just being myself!” with disregard as to how we impact on others and the world in general.

Physics prove that we are all interconnected and NOT separate entities as we have falsely believed. It is impossible for any of us to not touch others, no matter how long we live or what we do. By the mere fact that we were conceived in and of itself transforms other peoples’ lives – forever.

Before the self-help revolution began, people worked together more as a whole. As the World War II generation has been referred to as the greatest generation ever, we saw how people sacrificed for a common overall goal back then, often at the price of death. Yet, conversely, in those times, it was harder for people to be who they were, especially if that meant going against societal standards. Certainly, being gay would have been much harder back then versus how it is dealt with now.

Then, with the self-help revolution, we swung to the other extreme as a society where people certainly learned to become individuals: loudly, harshly and narcissistically. Even though what makes people different is more tolerated now, there is a great loss of community, neighborly consideration and society working together as a whole.

However, there is a solution to make our society a better place – a call to action, which is to have the best of both worlds. Of course, we need to be ourselves, but with the clearly defined parameters that if we hurt others, what we’re doing isn’t correct and should not continue. Also, while being individuals, we must spiritually understand that we are always and forever connected to everyone and everything else in the universe. The sense of how we are all each a golden link in the chain of the Divine plan must be championed – not just disregarded by a “me first” attitude where we think that all of our actions can be explained by the simple statement of, “I’m just being me!”

It is the combination of the individual and the overall collective world coming together that achieves this tremendous blend of what infinite intelligence wants for us — which is to shine as the unique masterpieces we are and through that radiance, contribute what is priceless and irreplaceable about ourselves to this world with joyous love, freedom and consideration of others to enrich not only our lives, but everyone else’s.

You can have a private consultation with me,  personally tailored to fit your questions, needs and concerns. Just click the link to begin.

As adults, we realize that toddlers are truly innocent in their actions and “don’t know any better.” Because they’re not aware of why they do the things they do, we can’t hold it against them when they make a mistake, especially as they begin exploring this vast new wondrous world that they’ve in awe of. Little kids are filled with the feeling of wide-eyed adventurous wonder about everything, usually without any sense of the repercussions that could happen to them in the process.

Kathy’s two young children just loved chocolate, but they were allergic to it and broke out into hives every time they ate it, so Kathy stopped giving it to them and said they couldn’t have it anymore. However, when they went over to Grandma’s house, the kids would nag their Grandmother till she gave in and let them have chocolate treats. It certainly wasn’t the kids’ fault, but nevertheless, they experienced the consequence of breaking out into hives every time they ate chocolate. Grandma the adult was responsible for allowing her grandchildren to eat chocolate, yet these two youngsters still reaped the repercussions.

Young adults are very much into seeking sexual adventure – and with being overwhelmed and hypnotized by the atomic power of sexual energy, they make choices that have noteworthy consequences. Falling in love, emotional confusion, obsession, rejection, devastation, pregnancy, and health risks are all chances that anyone takes when having sex.

Cindy, an eighteen year-old college student didn’t stop and think that she could end up pregnant when losing her virginity to her first boyfriend, but it happened. She made a choice to have sex, but didn’t look at the potential consequences of what could occur at the time; yet just because she ignored the repercussions didn’t stop her from getting pregnant. It is the same with all of us, as denying or ignoring what will happen from our choices doesn’t stop the consequences from occurring.

From a spiritual perspective, the consequences of our actions don’t just start happening to us when we’re 18 as in Cindy’s case, but they occur from the time we’re born. All of us experience the consequences of our choices from the time we are toddlers, and not just once we become adults.

 However, as a society, we hold toddlers to a different standard than someone who is a teenager, versus what we expect from a fully grown adult in terms of moral and legal liability. We would look differently at a two-year old who started a fire through playing with matches, as opposed to a grown adult who committed arson. Nonetheless, spiritually, our choices always lead to repercussions.

 As adults, we often stick our heads in the sand and think that we can avoid looking at our choices and the consequences we’ve created, thinking that everything will turn out okay. If we’re frustrated, not sure which way to go, refuse to face what’s going on, or simply don’t care, we tell ourselves that we don’t have to make a choice regarding a situation in our lives – yet, is that actually possible…?

It is impossible to not choose

Choice is one of the most compelling aspects of our spiritual journeys on earth, because no matter who we are or what our circumstances might be, it is impossible for us to NOT choose. Even if you say, “I am refusing to do anything today,” THAT is still a choice you’re making. If a woman refuses to decide whether to leave her abusive marriage or not, she is making a choice, which is to stay with her husband. To NOT choose is making a choice.

It would be easy to clam up for the fear of being wrong and become afraid to make choices – yet our biggest apprehensions can’t stop us from choosing. Without us making choices, how could our lives move forward, progress and unfold? They wouldn’t. Our choices facilitate and set up our lessons, growth, spiritual unfoldment and ultimately, the conclusions we manifest. We see it in the case of Cindy who naively thought that she wouldn’t get pregnant when she lost her virginity to her first boyfriend.

As adults, we are all confronted with an infinite amount of choices every day. Sometimes the consequences are small, while at other times, life altering: “Am I going to try and get my co-worker fired or just leave him alone?” John ponders. “Will I lie to my spouse about money I spent on a new dress or just tell the truth?” Joanne sheepishly asks herself. “Should I cut the other guy off on the road because I’m in a hurry?” Larry asks himself as he’s driving. “Am I going to give into the idea of cheating on my spouse with that girl I met online?” Chuck questions. “What am I going to have for dinner tonight?” Diana asks herself.

There are far too many scenarios we face each and every day to even begin to mention here, from decisions as mundane as what we’re having for dinner to choosing to leave our marriage and children behind. Never forget that with any single choice, there is an absolute repercussion. Physics proves this immutable law of the universe: For every action (choice), there is an opposite and equal reaction (consequence).

With the consequences and repercussions that occur from our choices, we tend to label what occurs as either “good” or “bad,” depending on whether we get what we want or not — but from a spiritual perspective, should we…?

Choices aren’t right or wrong

There is no right, there is no wrong, there is only consequence-old spiritual maxim

There is great spiritual truth in this statement, as it shifts the focus from us feeling either “right” and good about our choices, or “wrong” and guilty, to the reality that it’s only about consequence. Many phrases immediately come to mind that indicate this spiritual law of the universe: “Whatever you do comes back to you” – “What goes around comes around” – and “What ye sow, ye shall reap.” We’ve all heard the concept of how when someone throws a pebble into the ocean, the ripples keep echoing on into infinity. That’s merely illustrating the cause and effect relationship between our choices and the consequences we create.

It’s not as if there’s some mean spirited God with a long white beard “up there” in the sky judging us – it’s us who create and reap the repercussions which we have to deal with. Even in death, it’s not as if we get judged as being good or bad by something or someone other than ourselves – where one person goes to heaven while another gets sent straight to hell. Whatever the repercussions are for our choices, they follow us wherever we go, even in spirit.

Often, the consequences for our choices while on earth are irrevocable (not just gaining a pound for having that extra dessert, which you work off at the gym within days), but repercussions that change the rest of our lives. Even though this is spiritually true, it is hardly the way people look at it in the society we now live in.

The pop culture view of choice and consequence

Today’s pop culture is filled with quick fixes, endless self help books with gimmicky titles, all designed to give you the life you want by simply doing this and that. I think it’s obvious to most of us that these methods in and of themselves don’t work, in part, because they don’t address how to deal with the consequences of our past choices which are still impacting our lives now.

Today, we’re told that all we have to do is visualize, affirm, think positively and increase our self esteem until our dreams come true – and that they will! The consequences for our past choices are largely disregarded and dismissed as yesterday’s news and written off as a “negative” way to look at things. Everything is about the immediate manifestation of an incredible new look, life, career, money and a fantastic lover to boot. We’re sold these quick fixes as if somehow, the repercussions of our past choices can be erased like the dye that takes the grey out of our hair.

However, the spiritual laws of the universe do not bend or conform to the whims and trends of popular culture.

 Watered down spirituality such as gimmicky self-help books reduces the complexity of our journeys to slogans and “sound bites,” as if we can just have anything and everything we want at any moment in time. However, life is not that simple.

Often, what it takes to manifest the life we want is so much more complicated than that. We can’t ignore the fact that where our lives are at today is largely based on our prior choices and the consequences. Many of these repercussions are not able to be easily “gotten rid of.” At any point in life, it’s not as if we always have a clear cut “good” choice versus a “bad” one where the path is simple and easy to follow.

 Between a rock and a hard place

Sometimes we find ourselves overwhelmed with our journey without having a clear idea as to how we got to where we’re currently at. Therefore, we’re confronted with situations where our options and choices are just not that good. This is often due to the accumulation of so many of our past choices which have created a serious domino effect that keeps growing and building. It’s not just the repercussions of one choice, but many, with multiple and interweaving consequences. It’s like a snowball that keeps rolling down the side of the mountain: it gains speed, size and momentum until it is an avalanche.

Brenda’s Choice & the Consequences

Brenda was a woman who had relationship situations in her past that were dangerous and edgy, as she liked cocky, sexually aggressive guys who were swingers, as she had been one, too. However, at the age of 32, she came to a crossroads in her life where she claimed that she wanted to heal her romantic life, settle down with someone good and get married. After having been alone for about a year, she met a man named Glenn at the gym where she worked out.

Immediately, the red flags were there. As she was talking to Glenn, he was texting multiple girls right in front of her and flirting with others in the gym as well. Brenda saw all of this with her own two eyes; that should have been more than enough for her to see Glenn as the player he was and simply walk away. However, because Brenda had been alone, and had not really healed as she thought she had, the energy of Glenn hooked her right in because it was the dangerous, exciting pattern she was used to.

Brenda called her psychic Amanda, ostensibly for insights into the situation, and Amanda honed in right away on the situation: “Brenda, Glenn is a horrible choice for you. This will change the rest of your life in a terrible way if you sleep with him because at first, you’ll like the sex as he’s kinky and so are you. That will lead to a pregnancy, and as strange as this may sound now, a shotgun wedding. You do have a choice, here, Brenda, and my advice is to stay away from Glenn.” Brenda responded by asking, “Really? You think we would get married? Oh my God, how wonderful!”

Even though Brenda wasn’t really listening to anything Amanda said, she tried to further warn Brenda by saying, “Glenn is an abusive man who will cheat on you, turn on you, and eventually, you’ll both be at war over the custody of your child.” However, Brenda already made up her mind, so she disregarded Amanda’s advice and chose to roll the dice with Glenn.

Within six months, Brenda became pregnant as Amanda predicted and while Brenda was carrying the baby, Glenn’s cheating got out of control. He started becoming verbally abusive by always trying to make everything Brenda’s fault. Yet in spite of this abuse, Glenn and Brenda got married about a year after they first met and Brenda gave birth to a girl a few months later.

After about two years of marriage, they were engaged in a bitter divorce which lasted about a year, where Glenn fought tooth and nail for full custody of their daughter. Even though he initially only got visitation rights in the divorce settlement, Glenn took Brenda back to court about two years later, claiming that she was an unfit mother based on nude, sexually provocative pictures of Brenda with another woman that were posted on the internet.

Now, it’s seven years since Brenda first met Glenn and here’s what has transpired: Brenda did lose custody of her daughter to Glenn, Brenda is flat broke without enough money to live on due to the cost of the continuous legal battles with Glenn, she’s more emotionally miserable that she has ever been in her entire life, and has no idea what to do.

So Brenda decided to reach out to Amanda and called her for a reading, looking for new, positive options. However, this was a different ball game now, as there just weren’t any good options for Brenda at this time. Het situation was so damaged, that there is no easy way out, quick fix, or a choice that could immediately make things better.

Through the one initial choice Brenda made to have sex with Glenn, a series of horrific consequences happened – and it wasn’t as if she wasn’t warned. Brenda saw for herself the kind of man he was right off the bat, and her psychic Amanda gave Brenda the correct information and insights in order for her to avoid where she is now – between a rock and a hard place.

As much as Amanda would have liked to help Brenda, there just wasn’t anything that could have been done to fix the situation. Brenda’s story is a cautionary tale which we can all learn from, by not just giving into our impulses and emotions, but looking at the repercussions that will indeed come from our choices.

Sometimes, it’s karmic

Sometimes the reasons why our options are not good is based on karma. When karmic consequences come back to us, the choices and options we have may not always be what we want. We’ll find ourselves in a particular set of circumstances that can be difficult, and since it is karmic, there’s no immediate solution or easy way out. Simply stated, we will have to go through the situation, which will take time and effort to work through. Therefore, it is important to try and look for the highest spiritual good.

For all of us, the repercussions do indeed come back until we have resolved all of our karma. Depending on the nature of the karma, the conclusion may or may not give us what we want in the end, yet karmic situations are burdensome to deal with.  Our choices and how we handle the situation will determine if we resolve the karma totally or partially and/or create additional negative karma, which we don’t want to ever do.

Even though karmic situations are something everyone goes through and are hard for all of us, the good news is that from a spiritual perspective, resolving karma is one of the most important things we can do for our spiritual advancement and eternal growth.

Our choices may also be lesson driven

Lesson driven situations (which are dharmic) differ from karmic lessons in the fact that dharmic lessons have absolutely nothing to do with our prior actions, while karmic lessons always deal with the repercussions of what we’ve done before, often, from prior lifetimes.

When our choices are lesson driven, it is because we have reached a point in our evolution where a lesson needs to be learned for our growth. In this instance, the circumstances that come about in our lives truly have nothing to do with our prior choices, but only with the lesson we now need to learn.

When it is lesson driven, the goal is for us to learn whatever we spiritually need to, as part of our growth. The choices we make will determine if and when we learn the lesson, because once our soul has agreed to take on the lesson, it has to be learned – whether now, or later.

Be aware of consequences

I think it’s realistic to say that all of us have made choices where we’ve disregarded what the repercussions would be – and paid a heavy price. However, we’re alive and in this journey now,  and, regardless of what we have done in the past, there are many things we can do from this point forward to manifest a better journey. We must make every attempt to become aware of the consequences that we will set up through our choices in the future. This is of vital importance, regardless of how we emotionally feel about a situation.

The power of attraction

In sexually charged situations, some of us disregard consequences because of the intensity we feel regarding another person. It also ties into our self worth, as often — and mistakenly — we give the power of how we feel about ourselves to a person we’re attracted to – and in that process, surrender our power to them, often with devastating consequences.

It doesn’t matter how strong the attraction is – or how electric it feels. Step back from the intensity of the situation, and assess it clearly. Don’t act based on emotions only, but look at the facts. I have seen very few situations in my entire life where there was simply no way to know how horrible a person would be – almost all of the time, the red flags are there, and/or the right information is available from a psychic, a friend, therapist, or through simply objectively observing the actions of the person in question. This way, negative and devastating consequences can be avoided and a more positive life is manifested.

I want what I want

When we want what we want, it’s easy to throw our ethics out the window simply because of our desires, and frankly, we don’t care about the potential repercussions. We must never give into this type of mindset. as it is like driving blindfold down the road – sooner or later, there’s going to be a crash. Step back from the viewpoint that getting your way is all that matters and look at the repercussions.

Often, the consequences for basing our choices on “I want what I want” create negative karma, as presumably, other people are going to get hurt in the process. We need to try and elevate our consciousness to the point where merely having our way is not the basis of our choices. It is always best if we can consider how the repercussions of our choices will impact everyone involved, and not just how it would affect us.  However, if it seems lofty and out of reach to consider others, then at least we need to look at how the consequences will affect us – as that is a step in the right direction.

I know it’s wrong, but I can control the situation

Often we know a situation is wrong to get involved in, but through our ego, arrogance and overconfidence, we think that we can control the situation. It would be like walking into a boxing ring thinking that you will always be able to control the outcome of the match. This type of mindset indulges our egos and sets us up for a fall. As stated in the Bible: “Pride goeth before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall.”

This can tie into any type of situation such as our career, family, friends, and also, romantic relationships. Jennifer knew it was wrong to start dating Sam, a married man with three young children who told her he would not divorce his wife; but Jennifer thought that she could control the situation by not getting too emotionally involved.

However, Jennifer fell madly in love with Sam and lost control of her emotions. This led Jennifer to telling Sam’s wife about the affair, which was designed by Jennifer to try to manipulate and control the situation. Jennifer assumed that Sam’s wife would end the marriage knowing he was a cheater, and then, Jennifer would have Jerry all to herself.

However, it didn’t work, as Sam dumped Jennifer because he was furious that she told his wife about the affair. On top of that, Sam’s wife filed for divorce because of his affair with Jennifer, which tore Sam and his family apart permanently.

If Jennifer wouldn’t have let her ego and arrogance get in the way, she could have assessed the repercussions that could have occurred, and decided to not have the affair. That way, the consequences would have been completely different with a far better conclusion for all concerned.

The end justifies the means

Many of us think that IF we get what we want, HOW we got it becomes okay. Our eye is on the prize – and ultimately, getting that prize means that we won – and that makes us feel validated as things worked out the way we wanted.

This kind of rationalization is dangerous, because it completely denies taking into account the repercussions from these types of choices. As any of us can rationalize anything, we find ways to erroneously make our negative means ok, as opposed to looking dispassionately at the situation.

If the means to get what we want is unethical, dishonest, manipulative, and hurts others, the consequences for that choice will always be a disaster. Even if we “get what we want,” in the long run, we’ll have to pay the price for trying to “pull a fast one” on the universe.

It doesn’t matter whether people see how we’ve set things up or not, as infinite intelligence sees everything. Remember that the laws of the universe are impartial and objective, and apply to everyone in the same way. Even though we think we’re getting away with something because we got what we wanted, we never do.

We need to understand that repercussions don’t modify because we got what we wanted. If the means were negative, there is no exemption clause regarding the repercussions. The cause and effect principle of what we do comes back to us still applies. With that in mind, we need to be cognizant that we can’t ever fool the universe as it all comes out in the wash, sooner or later.

Feeling sorry for someone

Cindy really felt sorry for her alcoholic husband. After all, he had an abusive childhood and a lot of tragedies along the way, so he started drinking and slipped into alcoholism. Cindy believed that she couldn’t leave him because she felt sorry for him. “What would he do without me?” she questioned, as he was a lost soul.

However, she didn’t stop and look at the reality that she was enabling him, and allowing him to keep the drinking going by picking up the pieces for him. Since he didn’t have to grow and change, he didn’t. As we’ve all heard the old adage many times before, “The path to hell is paved with good intentions,” that was the path Cindy was on.

This went on for years, with her husband’s alcoholism only getting worse, until finally she decided to stop feeling sorry for him, and looked at the repercussions of her choices. She accurately assessed that by rescuing him, he was going downhill, and that it would continue – possibly even leading to his death.

Therefore, she decided to leave him, and at that point, her husband got into AA. As he quit drinking and healed his life, we see that this only happened after Cindy made the choice that was for the highest good. It is a great example of how any of us should not base our choices on merely feeling sorry for someone, as it clouds our judgment.

Easier to give in than to fight

Sometimes we feel so emotionally beaten down, that it’s easier to give in than to fight, yet when we do so, that is still a choice that we’re making. In those moments of weakness, we may feel temporarily relieved by giving in, but the consequences for not standing up for what is right can be devastating. Through fear, guilt, feeling undeserving, we just throw in the towel and surrender to what is truly not for our highest good. However, if we keep our focus on the fact that there will be consequences, we can find strength and stand up for what is right.

Therese was a woman who was going through some medical issues, and thankfully, she had insurance. Yet, some of her doctors were trying to claim that they billed her insurance and were denied payment, therefore, they demanded for her to pay many expensive bills. Totaling in the tens of thousands of dollars, Therese was tempted to just give in. After all, she was dealing with  some serious medical conditions and didn’t want the hassle.

However, she knew that what these doctors were doing was wrong, so she decided to challenge their claims. She found out that her insurance company had not been billed and never denied payment. The doctors tried to sidestep going through insurance because they felt they could get more money out of Therese since her insurance paid the doctors at a reduced rate. Through scare tactics, they thought Therese would just cave in and pay up.

By Therese standing up for what is right, she didn’t have to pay any of these bills and the doctors were forced to actually go through her insurance company. In any of our lives, we need to apply the same principles that Therese did. Whether it’s in a relationship, with family, our careers or in any situation, if we stand up for what is right, we’ll be okay in the end.

Naivety doesn’t give us a free pass

We never get a free pass regarding the consequences of our choices simply because we didn’t know any better, or couldn’t see it coming. The universe is impartial as it pertains to its laws, so it is our job to understand these laws and abide by them. Just as you wouldn’t think you could stop breathing and believe you would still stay alive, it is the same thing with how the universe operates. Our choices lead to consequences, even for those of us who are naive.

Observing the choices and repercussions in our lives and the lives of others is a very sobering reminder and wake-up call. We must be cognizant, alert, and aware regarding the choices we make at all times. When driving a car, you wouldn’t sometimes look at the road, while other times close your eyes, or if you wanted to do, gaze out the driver’s side window. We all know an accident would occur.

However, living life correctly, prosperously and joyously means being smart, not rigid. We don’t have to analyze every single moment and worry about what will happen to us from every breath we take. We need to always be aware of what our choices will lead to, ESPECIALLY the ones that are important in our lives because they impact on others.

We can’t have it both ways where we reduce our choices to the ones people make who could care less about repercussions only when it’s convenient to us. On the other hand, want to claim that were evolving and being spiritual by making “good” choices when that it is what we want to do.

Therefore, as we look clearly at our choices and the consequences that will occur and decide accordingly, we realize that in many ways, we are in the driver’s seat — and that we are not only responsible, but also, able to guide the path of our journey in many ways. With that comes the satisfaction that we do have the ability to manifest a better life – our efforts mean something and create positive outcomes!  We don’t have to look at this experience of being on earth as a crap shoot that doesn’t make sense or that we don’t grasp. Understating the profound and life determining relationship between our choices and the consequences that will absolutely and irrevocably occur, gives us that fundamental and timeless, eternal awareness. It is not meant to make us feel inspired and empowered to manifest the better future that is ours to have.

You can have a private consultation with me,  personally tailored to fit your questions, needs and concerns. Just click the link to begin.

We’re taught to believe that the progression of life is something to be dreaded and feared – that if we’re past a certain age (probably around 30), our best days are behind us and that sickness, misery and disaster are all around the corner.

However, shouldn’t getting older really mean that we actually become more successful at mastering our lives and manifesting our dreams? Shouldn’t we progress positively through our experiences as opposed to moving backward? If we step outside of the fear that life gets worse as time goes on, don’t those questions make sense? Just like if we practiced the guitar daily, we’d assume that through time we’d improve versus becoming worse.

So why don’t we apply the same principle of getting better at something such as practicing the guitar to the positive progression and evolution of our lives?  It’s because we’re wounded, afflicted and crippled by the pain of the past, which means that our lives are continuously weighted down by what happened to us before.

This way, we can’t start each day with a clean slate. It’s like being a painter and starting every painting with a canvas full of an ever increasing collage of ugly, clashing images, colors and pictures already on the canvas. If that was the case, how could we paint anything new, wondrous and beautiful?

When we don’t know how to heal the pain of our past, or worse yet, refuse to do so because of our attachment to the hurts of before, our lives move into a downward spiral – sometimes slowly throughout time, while at other times, rapidly and dramatically. Yet, the pain of the past doesn’t weigh us down in only one way; it poisons and debilitates all aspects of our lives: psychologically, emotionally, spiritually, and physically.

With the goal in mind of living ever productive, healthy and prosperous lives, let’s look at 5 winning steps that will truly help us to heal the pain of the past, so we can manifest the journey that we are divinely meant to experience.

1-Acknowledge

We often believe that to move forward, we just have to really be “positive:” visualizations, affirmations, meditation, increased self esteem and empowerment are all things that are supposed to turn things around for the better. On top of that, if we’re not successful yet, it just means that we haven’t visualized long and hard enough, or still don’t have enough self esteem. However, these assumptions are not true.

So why don’t these good things in and of themselves work? It’s because we must first acknowledge what we feel and what is bothering us about the past to begin the healing process. Without doing do, it’s like refusing to look at and fix the cracked foundation of your home, but thinking that by decorating the penthouse  with new, lovely furniture, everything will turn out just fine.

When we avoid what we feel and deny what is really going on within us from before, we can’t heal our lives. We get caught up in our own emotional denial and avoidance, because we don’t want to have to open that old can of worms regarding what is wounding us from before. It’s just not pleasant to deal with it all again as we feel re-victimized, out of control and helpless. So instead, we try to misguidedly take control of our lives by believing that we’re moving forward by being “positive.” However, in reality, we’re turning our backs on continuously negative emotions that spread like a cancer within us.

Without acknowledgment, we experience a tremendous internal pressure based on our denied emotions, just like water building up against a damn. After a certain period of time and pressure, our emotions overtake us and any number of negative things can happen. We act out, make the wrong choices seemingly out of the blue, display angry outbursts, experience depression, complete hopelessness, or make terribly self destructive choices.

Avoiding what you feel from before and being “positive” doesn’t mean that you’ve taken control of your life; but rather, that you’re a sitting duck regarding what these negative feelings can do to you. Would you rather be able to see what you’re dealing with, then have your eyes closed, which leaves you completely vulnerable.

When put this way, these questions seems quite obvious: How could you possibly fix a problem if you don’t know what it is? If you went to a doctor and they didn’t know what was wrong with you, how could they even begin to help you heal? With acknowledgment, we lay the foundation to be able to heal the pain of the past and we relieve the potentially debilitating internal pressure that can overtake our lives. By bringing the issues out in the open and into the light, we take away the mysterious, ominous and frightening power our past emotions have had over us. We see that the bullies we’ve been pushed around by for so long are just negative emotions that shouldn’t have any more power over our lives.

A great therapist once said, “Acknowledging your emotions will never kill you, but denying them will.” I’ve often said that if we put 10% of the effort into healing the pain of the past as we do into avoiding, denying, attaching to the old negative patterns, being defensive and refusing to acknowledge our feelings, we would heal our lives.

Start out by getting a notebook dedicated to healing the pain of the past and write down what you feel regarding what happened before. Don’t intellectualize your feelings, but ask yourself, “What do I feel and what is bothering me?” Believe me, sooner or later, these emotions will come forward and speak to you. By writing them down, you can now know what the real problems are, not run away from them and lay the foundation to truly heal your life.  

2-Release

Once you’ve acknowledged the pain of the past and know what you feel, it’s time to take the next step in the healing process, which is to begin releasing these old, negative emotions. We often didn’t know just how much wounding has been inside of us from such things as our upbringing, disappointments in former romantic relationships, and dreams in our career that didn’t come true.

We get used to suffering and being attached to the pain of the past as our hurt becomes a friend and companion. Often, we even take it to the point of wallowing in past negativity as an emotional security blanket. With that, our defenses and ego cling to old negative feelings because they protect us from moving forward and taking risks. We falsely think that our past hurt feelings keep us safe from getting wounded again, but in reality, they poison all aspects of our lives.

Sometimes people have said to me, “Jim, but I don’t know how to release these feelings. What do I do?” Keep in mind that releasing these old derelicts is not academic or complicated in essence.

It’s about “wanting to” – meaning that you have to really want to! You must feel the passionate commitment and desire to let these emotions go. It’s like a singer who sings the notes correctly, but without emotion – it means nothing…. However, with real feeling, everything comes alive and the song sings! Feel the desire to let it all go – every day.

One motivation that will help inspire you is that the well-being of your life is at stake here. Another is to try and think of those who have it so much worse. If you’ve been wounded in love, you can always find another and better lover. However, think of the mother whose child was raped and murdered. That mother can never bring back her child who is gone forever. Use someone else’s tragedy as a motivation to help put your situation in perspective by realizing that so many others have it worse than you do.

Then, with heartfelt passion as your daily guide, affirmations can really begin to aid the healing process, because they, too, are only effective when said with complete commitment. Here are two affirmatives that will assist you in achieving this:

Since it serves absolutely no purpose for me to hold on to the negative emotions from the past, I now release and completely let go of any and all attachment to the pain of the past and now go free to live a wondrous, magical and positive life today!

And: 

I ask God to take away the pain of the past and lift it out of me, releasing it into the endless divine white light where these old negative feelings now return to their native nothingness! I am now free of the pain of the past!

Here is a visualization technique that will also help: Picture the painful situation from your past surrounded in a bright pink bubble and see it all rising to the heavens into infinity!

As most people want quick and instantaneous results nowadays, release is one of the most overlooked aspects of the healing process. It takes a while, as you’re challenging old feelings, attitudes and patterns that have been there a long time. Remember that you can’t win this battle overnight, but CAN through consistency, commitment and passion. The actual energetic release is heartfelt and you will feel these burdens literally being released from within you and let go of. Don’t fight with the past, rationalize it, or try to hold on any longer. Just let go, and let God!

We must first remove what’s in the way in order to bring our divine good to us. If we haven’t released the pain of the past, it’s like us locking a door and then posing the question, “Why isn’t anyone walking through the door?” Just as in the Bible it is stated that when you come out of darkness, there is a wilderness that you pass through in order to reach your promised land. Releasing opens that space to transition between the darkness of the past and the continuous brightness of your blessings, soon to come!

3-Forgive

After releasing the pain of the past, forgiving is the next step in our healing process so we can receive our blessings and all that is for our highest good. Remember, the sunlight of God’s blessings is shining down on us perpetually – but not forgiving is like closing the curtains and drawing the blinds shut so it can’t get in.

Of course we don’t do this on purpose to ourselves. Who would? No one says, “I’m going to block my blessings now by refusing to forgive,” but whether it’s deliberate or not doesn’t matter. To heal the pain of the past, we must learn to forgive. How could we expect good things to come to us unless we become the open channel to receive the blessings we are asking for?

Forgiving is such a healing tool, as it allows us to once and for all stop replaying the same old “pain of the past tapes” of victimization where we have felt wounded, hurt, angry, resentful and justified. These old tapes kept bringing us right back to the original pain that started all of this suffering in the first place. Forgiving erases the negative tape loops of the past that have prevented us from moving forward with our lives all along.

Not knowing how to forgive or feeling unable to do so allows us to think that we have another choice. Instead of making the journey of forgiveness, we falsely think that we can take control of our lives by trying to manage our negative emotions — as if our lives may not reach the highs, but won’t hit rock bottom either. We erroneously believe that our lives are like us snapping a still photograph right now, as if things will continue to always be the same; not great, but not horrible, either.

Instead, by not forgiving, our lives progress like the dark plot line of a scary movie, as the negativity within us grows and spreads throughout our lives. As time goes on, it all becomes more etched into our subconscious and gains more of a stronghold in our being. 

Then there are those who just absolutely refuse to forgive, as their resentment, anger and rage forms an identity of self justified victimization. These people actually like not forgiving, as they receive an emotionally charged pay off of feeling wronged. However, they’ll never be happy staying this way. As I have yet to ever meet a happy victim, those who refuse to forgive always see their lives spin out of control – sooner or later.

With these different mindsets, we see how forgiveness is one of the most misunderstood parts of healing the pain of the past. In addition, when we think of forgiving others, we somehow think we’re going to end up being vulnerable to those who hurt us again — but it is exactly the opposite.

As painful emotions literally handcuff us to those who have wounded us, not forgiving keeps us attached to them in a negative way. This means that we’ll have to meet up with them in this lifetime or a later one to work this out. The spiritual conclusion of any situation is always one of peaceful resolution, so we must forgive them to help resolve whatever negativity exists from the past to brings things to a state of peace.

We fear that forgiving someone means that we’ll have to let them back into our life. However, forgiving and reconnecting with someone is not necessarily one and the same thing at all as there may be no higher purpose for them to re-enter our lives. 

By forgiving someone, are we condoning what they’ve done to us and somehow saying that their actions are right? Of course not, as forgiveness has nothing to do with condoning whatever hurt they’ve caused us.

If you have a hard time with forgiving, here are two tips that will help: First, remember that forgiveness is an act of self interest. By forgiving, you remove the ever increasing negative, poisonous, dark energy inside of you that debilitates your life. This energy contributes to depression, anxiety, rage, poverty, disconnection from people and life, as well as physical illness. A good question to ask is, “Am I willing to suffer, be poor, alone, miserable and sick in order to not forgive?” Put that way, it’s clearly in everyone’s self interest to forgive, as the pain of the past becomes healed! 

In addition, remember that we have all created negative karma in this lifetime and in prior incarnations, so all of us need to be forgiven. In the Bible it is stated, “Let the person without sin throw the first stone,” which means that none of us are free of negative karma.

Here is a useful affirmation to help with this process: I now release and forgive anyone who has ever caused me pain and harm including _______ and release him/her to his/her highest good now! There is complete peace, harmony and divine love between us!

 As we make the journey, this not only includes forgiving those who have wounded us, but also, ourselves. We must no longer hold ourselves in judgment for the hurtful things we’ve done and sometimes that is the hardest thing for us to do. Sometimes, we just can’t seem to forgive ourselves, as we feel that we’ve really harmed others and there’s nothing we can do now to “fix it.”

However, forgiveness of ourselves must also be done in order to heal the pain of the past. Here is an affirmation to assist with that goal: I now see myself as divine love has created me: innocent, blameless and a wondrous being of light and love. I now forgive myself for anyone I have ever hurt including___________.

As you make the journey of forgiveness, you will feel its transformative healing power fill your entire being and see it manifest in all areas of your life. You’ll feel lighter, colors will appear brighter and miracles will start to come your way. With the tremendously powerful process of forgiving the pain of the past, we are now ready to architect a new life – one that is filled with endless blessings!

4-Replace

Sometimes it’s hard to motivate ourselves to release and forgive, because we ask ourselves, “What do I end up with after that, then? Nothing…”  We believe that all we’ll have is merely an empty void of nothingness, like the feeling of walking through a seemingly endless desert. At least the pain of the past gave us something to hand onto, even though it has been a debilitating process.

However, once we have released and forgiven, the space within us is not an endless desert, but a wide open playing field. With that space, we can now replace the pain of the past with new goals, dreams and wondrous possibilities. Remember that there is no expiration date on dreams and now that we have removed what’s been in the way, we can really manifest so many more miracles than we ever had before.

If you look at the ways of nature, we can say that “God abhors a vacuum,” meaning that when there is a space, God will try and fill it up. As people, we tend to do the same. When something is removed or gone, it’s time to replace it with something new. Never forget the old mainstay, “When one door closes, another one immediately opens.”

Think of any number of people who have been seriously wounded by a former romantic relationship. When they replace the pain of the past with a new and wonderful relationship, I guarantee you that they’ll feel 100% better. It is the same in any area of our journeys, including our careers.

There is a great athlete who in his prime had won several competitions and was going to be in the Olympics. However, right before the Olympics, he suffered an injury that ended his competitive athletic career. All of his dreams seemed to be over. Only in his mid twenties, he fell into a deep depression because he couldn’t figure why God or whoever is up there would do this to him. As he built his entire life around the passionate and consistent pursuit of his dream, it was all finished in one fell swoop. He thought, “What could I possibly do with my life now, as I have nothing to live for?”

Instead of denying his emotions, he began to acknowledge what he felt, which was the tremendous sense of loss, sadness, rage and resentment for what had happened to him. Next, he worked on releasing these feelings as they were literally destroying him. He had to find it in himself to truly release it all as he could see that this negativity was poisoning him and ruining his life. Then, he worked on forgiveness of God, as he was so enraged that somehow this is what happened to him.

Within years of this injury, he began to replace the old dreams with new ones. He started training other athletes and preparing them for intense competitions. Some of the athletes he trained were garnering gold medals at the Olympics and winning in other competitions as well.

Through that success, he obtained his own fitness show on television, which led to him marketing and selling a line of fitness tapes and DVD’s which have turned out to not only help people get in shape, but also have been quite financially lucrative for him.

So as we see, this person replaced the pain of the past with new dreams – and it worked. It is a story of great inspiration, as all of us have felt that our dreams have been crushed and destroyed at one time or another. It is a call to action for us to do the same, as we no longer have to be victims of the pain of the past, but, rather, winners in the present tense.

5-Laugh

Now that we’ve reached our final step in healing the pain of the past, you might ask, “Why is #5 entitled, “laugh”? What could that have to do with my suffering and former hurt? I thought we were supposed to laugh at a joke, a funny movie, comedy routine, or when going out to see a stand-up comedian. How do I take a lighthearted view of all of the pain I’ve been through?”

When I was in my twenties, I remember a great spiritual master once told me that I needed to learn to laugh at the pain of my past. If I could do so, I would then know that I was resolved with what happened before. At first, I asked the same thing: “What does laughter have to do with it?”

However, I learned very quickly that laughter has everything to do with it because you know you’re healed regarding a former situation when you can laugh at it. Sounds crazy? Think of it this way: When you were in first grade, someone pushed you down and your knee got cut and bled. You cried, screamed and even thought the world was going to end. Do you feel the same about that experience today? Of course not. I’m sure that you can laugh heartily at that silly little incident back then which at the time seemed so completely traumatic. Therefore, at this time, you need to apply that same principle to what is still wounding you from before.

In spiritual terms, no matter what we’ve been through, regardless of how awful it has been and how we still may feel, we will come to peace with everything that has ever happened to us before. It’s just a question of whether we do it now or later. At some point, our spiritual growth will lead us into that healing journey regarding it all! The gage of how much we are healed now is laughter, because with it, there is no pain, remorse, guilt, anger, rage, depression or resentment, but only light-hearted joy!

As with all aspects of healing the pain of the past, take it in steps. Start by thinking of something that troubled you before that doesn’t matter much anymore – like a break up with someone you dated briefly in high school. Try laughing about it now and you’ll see how good you feel.

Then, work on something that is a bit more difficult and continue with that process till you feel that you can laugh at the pain of the past. It doesn’t have to be completed today, but in steps and degrees through time. Yet, always push yourself a little bit more each day, as your defense mechanisms could resist going through this process as you’re confronting former situations that have greatly wounded you.

It’s easy with our defenses to feel that this technique is unfair or disingenuous, as if to say, “I can’t laugh at what I’ve been through as it was so utterly horrible!” If you’re having that type of reaction, you’ve discovered where the problems are and that’s where the healing needs to occur. We all have things that still bother us from before, but do we choose to heal them or not?

If we really want to move forward with our lives, we must heal the pain of the past; not just make a little dent in it here and there. If that’s all we do, then the negativity comes back, like an uncured disease that keeps flaring up. Laughter is the final step in our healing process!

When we are free of what happened before within us, we are free externally. The freedom we so desperately seek outside of ourselves cannot be gotten in the external world as that world merely reflects our inner world. Freedom can only be first attained in our inner world, then what we experience externally will mirror what we have manifested within.

Let’s really reach for the freedom our souls desire and yearn for – freedom from the shackles, chains and prison of the pain of the past. It cripples up, debilitates us, and prevents us from manifesting our dreams. It is not airy-fairy, lofty and up in the clouds to heal this. It is real, tangible and attainable – right here, right now. This way, we don’t have to hobble through life, merely survive or just go through the motions….

By coming out of the dark through acknowledging what we feel, releasing the burdens of those old derelict emotions, forgiving those who have hurt us before, replacing the pain of the past with new dreams, and ultimately, laughing about it all, we have come full circle – and are ready to manifest a life of miracles, dreams, health well-being, prosperity and new people in our lives who truly care and love us.

You can have a private consultation with me,  personally tailored to fit your questions, needs and concerns. Just click the link to begin.

Regarding our health, we have all heard the old phrase, “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure,” meaning that by taking care of our physical bodies now, we help to avoid serious illness and potentially even death.  What if I said to you that our loved ones on the other side also try to do the exact same thing for us here – but in the form of spirit warnings that offer us help from beyond the grave? 

After our loved ones are in spirit, they help us by trying to warn us of negative, dangerous, life-altering and even life-ending occurrences that could happen in our journey.  Since they are aware of these things, their warnings are designed to help us avoid potential disaster, so that we may have safe, wonderful and blessed lives. 

“So in which way do these “spirit warnings” actually come through to us?” one might question.  First, they not only utilize our five senses: sight, sound, taste, smell, and touch, but also reach us beyond our five physical senses and can manifest through our feelings, dreams, and a spiritual medium.   

 How and when do our loved ones do this for us

When our loved ones first leave the earth, it takes them a while to get situated and adjusted to their new lives in spirit.  As verified in a prior newsletter, it takes about three days for the etheric body (life force) to disconnect from the physical body that has just died.  After that, there is a period of time for our loved ones to reach the point where they can begin issuing spirit warnings to help us on earth.  That length of time varies from situation to situation depending on several variables:

First, they need to develop the skills to be able to connect with us here on earth.  Just because they’ve died, does not mean that they inherently have the ability to be able to communicate with us here.  That is a skill set that must be learned on the other side, where their master teachers can instruct them.  Think of it like learning a language: When you were first born, did you know how to speak?  You have to learn to do so and it is the same thing with our loved ones in spirit.   

One exception to this rule is if they have already learned these skills when they were on the other side between prior incarnations before the most recent physical lifetime ended.  In fact, they could have learned these skill sets on the other side between any number of former earthly lifetimes.  In that instance, they would be able to once again access those already learned abilities and utilize them.   Also, psychic and spiritual awareness are factors as well.  Someone who was a medium in this life has learned the process from the physical side.  That makes it easier to learn it from the other side because they are familiar with the energy.

In addition, they need to build up their energetic and spiritual strength there.  When they first begin getting situated in spirit, it is just like watching a newborn baby trying to walk; at first, the baby stumbles and falls, but they keep trying till they can walk correctly.  It is the same thing with our loved ones in spirit, as the longer they’re there, the stronger they become and can come through to us more powerfully.  With that strength, their ability to give us direct messages that help and protect us increases and grows.  It is just like someone who has been physically exercising to build more muscle tone; the more they do it, the stronger they become.

Our five senses:

Just as psychics and mediums here on earth have abilities that correspond to our five physical senses, spirits will manifest messages to us through our physical senses and their psychic counterparts.  

(Sight) — Some of us will receive the messages from our loved ones in spirit through sight.  In this instance, we may literally see our loved ones with our actual physical sight, or in a vision within our own mind.  Just as we’re waking up or falling asleep, there is a moment when we’re not entirely asleep, but not entirely awake either.  This is referred to as a twilight state where we are extremely psychically open.  Because we are so receptive in this state, some of us see spirits. 

One morning a few years ago, Cindy woke up to see her dead brother standing at the foot of her bed holding an airplane in his hands, moving his head from left to right as if to say no.  Then, she heard his voice say, “Hey little sis, don’t get on the plane, ya’ hear me?”  (What’s interesting, is that Cindy’s brother frequently referred to her as “Little sis” when he was on earth.  This phrase was said to confirm to her that indeed she was actually connecting with her brother, now in spirit.)

Of course, it shocked her right out of her bed.  Yet, it was supposed to, as she was planning on boarding a flight in a few days that was going to crash – and it indeed did.  Her brother, who had been dead for 10 years, saw this from spirit and issued the life saving warning to her through this vision.  Thankfully, she got the message and didn’t board that ill-fated flight.

(Sound, Taste, and Smell) — Regarding sound, we may actually hear our loved ones in spirit speaking to us with our physical hearing; other times we’ll hear them internally within our own minds.  We may also hear them in the form of a whisper, as they offer the helpful messages we need. 

Keep in mind, though, that it is not as if our loved ones on the other side automatically can talk to us, in the way we’re used to picking the phone and having a conversation with someone.  As I mentioned earlier, they need to develop this skill and increase their spiritual strength to be able to speak to us here.

As odd as it may sound, we often receive these spirit warnings through taste.  If we associate our loved ones in spirit with a certain food from when they were alive, that becomes one way they may connect with us to issue spirit warnings to help us.  Besides the taste, we may additionally have a gut level feeling, hear a message, or see further explanation and confirmation as to what spirit is trying to relay to us. 

Like our sense of taste, smell is one of our most powerful senses which our loved ones in spirit will utilize to reach us.  We often hear of a loved one in spirit who wore a certain cologne or perfume coming through with that exact scent to us here.  Since we associate that smell solely with them, it connects us to them, and therefore, we can receive their spirit warning to help us.  I have seen countless examples of that exact occurrence, as it is a powerful tool of communication from the other side.  There have been many instances I know of where the perfume someone’s mom used to wear was literally filling the room and more than one person smelled it.  That was “mom’s” way of coming through, now that she was in spirit.

(Touch) — With touch, we often are physically touched by our loved ones in spirit in the exact same way someone on earth touches us – and we feel it!  In this instance, our loved ones in spirit can literally come through in a directly physical way, where being touched feels the exact same way as if another human being touched us with their hands.

One foggy day, Katie was in a hurry, nervously standing at the edge of the curb and ready to cross the street to get to work as she was running late.  Suddenly, she felt someone tap her on the shoulder 4 times.  Surprised, she turned around to see who it was – but no one was there.  In fact, no one was even within 10-20 feet of her.  So who was this that just strongly tapped her on the shoulder 4 times? 

As Katie was momentarily frozen, a huge SUV raced around the corner from seemingly out of nowhere and sped past the spot Katie would have been walking in the street.  A second or two later, two women walked up beside her and one said to the other, “You know, it was your grandmother.”  Then, Katie heard the message, “You would have been struck by the vehicle, so I tapped you to distract you for a moment.”  The voice was unmistakable to Katie; it was her grandmother who had been dead for 20 years.  In split second timing, her grandmother helped to arrange a synchronicity of events that kept her granddaughter safe from being run over by a speeding SUV.

As with Katie, it is a startling reminder of just how powerfully connected we are to the spirit world and to our loved ones there when they literally reach out and touch us.  With all of the spirit warnings we receive, we see the many confirmations of how the physical plane and the spirit world are quite interconnected in a very real way.  However, spirit doesn’t merely communicate to us through our five senses; they also can come through a feeling, a dream and/or a spirit medium.  

Beyond our five physical senses and beyond:

 (Feeling) – Sometimes a loved one in spirit comes through to us as a feeling that we experience.  These feelings can manifest in any number of ways for us depending on how spirit sends them and how we receive them: a hunch, a sense of knowing, feeling afraid (which help us to avoid something), and/or an unsettledness about something that causes us to take a deeper look are all ways a feeling reaches us from spirit to help us.  

(Dreams) — In addition to our loved ones in spirit reaching us through a feeling, many of us have received spirit warnings from our loved ones on the other side in our dreams — and in those dreams, we need to listen to what is being communicated to us!  We should always remember that spirit comes through for a reason, often to issue warnings as a way of helping us.  Keep in mind that our dreams are the open door through which our loved ones on the other side can literally walk through and connect with us.

Susan dearly missed her sister Regina who had died from cancer about a year ago.  One of their strongest bonds was the fact that Regina always warned Susan about the many bad men she used to date.  After Regina died, Susan felt such a void in her life, which left her tremendously vulnerable.  It was at that time she met a man named Roberto seemingly at random in a restaurant who she clicked with right off the bat.  With amazing and lustful sex, Susan was hooked; except this time, there was no Regina to offer advice and support – or was there…?

After about a week of dating Roberto, Susan had a dream – but this was not just a normal dream.  In it, Regina walked into the kitchen they used to have a cup coffee in together and began talking to Susan who was already sitting at the table.  Here are the exact words Regina said: “Susan, Roberto is a horrible person and you must dump him now.  He has a felony criminal record and is violent.  Check in the state of Florida and you’ll find his criminal record.  If you don’t cut your ties with him now, he’ll take all of your money and physically hurt you.”

Immediately, Susan was jolted out of her dream and woke up.  For a few moments, she didn’t know where she was, or what had just occurred.  Then, she gathered herself and realized what had just happened: her sister Regina had just come to her in a dream – and it was not made up, but indeed, a spirit warning from Regina designed to help Susan.

So when Susan did a background check, there it was: three felony convictions: armed robbery, assault with a deadly weapon, and domestic abuse.  Susan started sobbing uncontrollably, because she felt that not only had she lost Regina, but now, she would have to cut her ties with Roberto.  However, as hard as it was for her, she did get rid of him and moved on with her life.

It goes to show that the support Regina offered Susan didn’t stop when Regina died – it continued from the spirit world as it does for all of us.  As with Susan, our dreams are a fascinating and cosmic doorway through which spirit enters.  When we are asleep, our defenses are relaxed and we can hear, see and feel – sometimes in a much more real and deeper way than when we’re awake. 

(Spiritual Medium) — As with the spirit warnings we each receive through our dreams, our loved ones on the other side can come through a spiritual medium and relay to us incredibly detailed and accurate information, all designed to help, guide, protect and keep us out of harm’s way.  In the physical plane, there are so many dangerous, unpredictable and threatening possibilities every day that it is of great comfort to know that our loved ones in spirit have our back – and truly watch out for us. 

With each medium and every message that comes through to help us, there is no rule of thumb as to how it will indeed manifest.  Sometimes there is a long message that is spoken by spirit and heard verbatim by the medium.  Other times, there are key words, phrases or fragments that get picked up.  Some mediums will pick up these spirit warnings through visual pictures that are literal as in seeing a house or a person with a specific description; while at other times, visual images are symbols that need to be interpreted and clarified.  Dates will sometimes come through literally: as in this month, or in a week, or even one year, but other times in a symbolic way: when the leaves change, when there is snow on the ground, or in a “three.”  That “three” may not be defined as days, weeks, months or even years but just within a “three.”

However, there should always be things that come through a medium that make sense and are a confirmation to us.  For instance, that could be a name of someone our loved one is with on the other side.  It could entail something that has occurred in your life that the medium would have no way of knowing about.  The medium may provide a name, initial, or description of someone connected to your life.

Yet, that doesn’t mean that you’ll agree with every single thing that is said or that it will all make sense at the time.  Some things are a matter of their perspective from spirit versus yours that is human and most likely filled with emotional bias.  Also, there are events that are yet to come that may not be able to be humanly seen by you at this time.  They are being revealed now as an early warning from spirit to help you.

Remember that the connection between a medium and your loved ones in spirit is quite delicate and can be easily broken.  If you interrupt, argue, get defensive, won’t listen, close off, become resistant or difficult in any way, that connection can be severed.  Again, it is not as if your loved ones pick up phone, ring the medium and have a conversation. 

In addition, you are the vessel from which this connection originates and flows through, so you must be open, relaxed, and not accidentally get in the way.  Even though the physical plane and the other side where our loved ones are between lifetimes is quite interconnected, there is still a time and space distortion that exists that must be compensated for and dealt with, so this connection is delicate and easily broken or thrown off. 

For me, doing spirit medium work is among the  most fulfilling, as countless helpful spirit warnings and life saving messages have come through to me which I have relayed successfully to many clients.  Experiencing that confirmation of love, heartfelt sincerity, connection and help from beyond has changed my life and the lives of many of my clients.  That’s exactly what happened to a woman when she “accidentally” connected with me for a reading.

(A Client’s Story) — First, I asked this woman if her mother was on the other side and she said, “Yes.”  Then, her mother June began profusely apologizing for being mean to her daughter when she was growing up, which affected her self-esteem.  June kept speaking of neglecting her daughter’s teeth.   My client confirmed that she had not received proper dental care as a child from her mother, which eventually led to my client needing to have her teeth pulled as an adult. 

June then indicated that the reason my client was in poverty, is because of her poor self worth, which her mother acknowledged that she helped to create.  Her mother also commented on her daughter’s current boyfriend and said how horrible he was, which was keeping her “down and out,” and in poverty.  Besides June’s heartfelt apologies, she warned her daughter that she needed to dump her boyfriend now and get into counseling.  Doing this would improve her self esteem, which would then bring money into her life.  Her mother also spoke of my client’s former marriage. 

Suddenly, my client’s late husband came through to me.  I asked my client if he was on the other side and she indicated that he was.  He warned my client to get rid of her current boyfriend and the word “pedophile” appeared to me in large letters.  Her late husband said that her current boyfriend would molest the daughter she had with him before he died.  He further asserted to ask their daughter “what had happened.”

I also saw a young man in spirit who wanted to come through, and I felt it was my client’s brother whose name began with an “S.”  She confirmed that she has a brother named Sam who died around the age of thirty.  The strongest feeling came to me that he had been in a sudden car accident which she confirmed was true.

Sam then indicated that his sister needed to have her car checked, as the steering was loose, which would cause a serious accident.  Her brother also warned his sister to get rid of the current boyfriend because he was keeping her self esteem low, which was helping to keep her in poverty.  Sam told his sister that if she dumped him and began applying for a new job, she would get a really good job that would pay well within a “two.”  That was the end of our first reading.

So with all of these spirit warnings that came through to help my client, she had a lot to think about, and after about a year, I heard from her again.  She first acknowledged that hearing from her mother helped her to feel better about herself, which laid the foundation for her to build a better life. 

She did speak to her 14 year old daughter, and to her shock, her daughter stated that her mother’s current boyfriend had asked her to have sex with him, but to never tell Mom.  Her daughter refused to have sex, but she was afraid to tell her mother, for fear that she would be blamed somehow.  However, when my client questioned her daughter, it allowed her to admit the truth.  Then, my client promptly dumped her boyfriend and threatened to call the police if he ever contacted her again.  Here, her daughter’s well being was saved!

This also helped my client to grow, because without the boyfriend, she started feeling better about herself and did get into counseling which further helped her to heal.  Interestingly, my client did find that new job her brother spoke of within 2 months of our first reading and it was far better than any position she ever had before, so her money situation had dramatically improved!  So clearly, the spirit warnings to help her brought about many wondrous changes for the better.

(In Closing) — Never lose sight of the fact that our loved ones in spirit truly want us to be safe, happy, healthy, alive and well!  That is their dream for us!  It is an affirmation and a confirmation of just how much they care for us from spirit as they love and cherish who we are, but most of all, they don’t forget about our safety. 

Death is an illusion – it merely means that those who have died no longer are here on earth — but they still are alive and can help US on earth.  As we know, the personality survives passing on, so your “Uncle Joe” is really going to come through to a medium as the “Uncle Joe” you used to know.  Yes, he will speak in the way you remembered him, to offer the spirit warnings you need!

Even when our family and/or loved ones were neglectful, harmful or abusive to us when they were here in the physical plane, they are now in spirit and may have spiritually grown and changed for the better.  Therefore, they now want to offer the loving support to us that wasn’t there before.  They may also feel spiritually compelled to atone for their former ways and right their wrongs to us.

From spirit, they have a unique vantage point that is much deeper and clearer which allows them to see things that they couldn’t when formerly in the physical plane.  In addition, their guides and master teachers can offer them phenomenally accurate and helpful information for them to pass on to us as a form of help. 

I cannot tell you the countless times that from the moment I heard someone’s voice, one of their loved ones in spirit was right there, waiting to come through.  From the other side, they already knew that the reading was to occur and they’re ready to offer tremendously helpful spirit warnings – things that we humanly may have not known – things that they can see from there and also, what their master teachers share with them.

There is that great old phrase, “It takes a village to raise a child.”  Let’s apply that same concept to the spirit warnings that help us from beyond the grave: “It takes a spiritual village to keep us safe on earth.”  That “village” includes our loved ones on the other side along with a medium who can bring through their wondrous messages.  

However, in our daily lives, we should never look for spirit warnings, because if we’re looking for something, our minds can play tricks on us where we begin misinterpreting, misreading, and actually make things up. 

What we should do is to be OPEN to the spirit warnings that help us from beyond the grave — but not on the lookout.  Remember, spirit knows what to do and they will communicate to us what we need to know, as well as when and how it should be done!  This can come directly to us or through a spiritual medium.  This way, we can live our lives always knowing and trusting that we are being watched out for, protected, and helped every step of the way. 

Finally, here is an affirmation to strengthen this wondrous connection with our loved ones who issue spirit warnings to help us: I am open to all of the tremendous support, guidance and help offered to me by my loved ones in spirit.  I clearly receive their spirit warnings and heed their advice, which helps me to live a safe, healthy, happy and blessed life! 

How about you? Have you ever had an experience where a loved one from spirit has given you a warning? I would love to hear your stories.

You can have a private consultation with me,  personally tailored to fit your questions, needs and concerns.

Often, waking up is more about the struggle of facing another day than feeling thrilled to open our eyes and welcome the new day.  With the stresses we all go through as well as the emotional burdens we’ve been carrying for such a long time, we sometimes dread that all we’re going to be able to do is trudge through our day.

 Here in “Spiritually Jump Start Your Day – 5 Easy Ways,” I would love to assist in getting you into the right frame of mind before you walk out the door — or even go through your email.  Just as the foundation of a house must be laid correctly to build a dream home, we all need to spiritually lay the foundation of each day correctly to manifest the day we divinely deserve.   

1-Expect a Miracle!

Yes, that’s right.  Expect a miracle today, this very day.  Why?  Because a life of miracles is naturally what we’re supposed to experience every day.  No, today is not supposed to merely be about going through the motions, as we may have formerly believed.

We know that there is something definitely wrong with us when we don’t physically feel well, so in that instance, we attempt to heal our bodies to be healthy again.  It is the same thing with our daily lives.  Mary Ann Williamson (an expert on A Course in Miracles), perhaps said it best when she indicated that something is clearly wrong in our lives if we’re not seeing miracles coming to pass daily.  A day of experiencing miracles is our natural state of being.

Conversely, it’s so easy for any of us to get so bogged down by what we’re going through that we’re just hoping to survive the day.  In that sense, we’re nowhere near thinking of some miracle that seems so “pie in the sky” and out of reach: “Will my boss yell at me?  How bad is the traffic going to be driving to work?  What problems will be there when I get home from work?” are all common things most of us have asked ourselves at the start of a day.

 However, instead of repeating those same old non-productive tapes, let’s try something new and different that will work for us.  When you wake up, affirm the following:  It is my divine birthright to experience miracles today and I now see them come to pass!  Don’t be afraid to say this affirmation multiple times as it will help to bring miracles through from infinite spirit into actual physical manifestation for you.

It is just like tuning a violin up to perfect concert pitch.  Once you get it right, the instrument is ready to play.  Remember that it’s the same thing with you!  Tune yourself up to the right vibration (which is the consciousness of expecting a miracle), and you’ll be surprised that you will experience them – this day and every day.

2-Express Gratitude

There is nothing perhaps more powerful to spiritually jump start our day than the expression of gratitude.  When you first open your eyes, be grateful that you’re alive!  Right here, right now you’re beginning to bring about a wondrous day through expressing gratitude.

When most of us first get up in the morning, our minds start to fill up and get cluttered with various thoughts and emotions: “I need to remember to get to the store.  What problems am I going to have to deal with today?  When is anything ever gonna get better for me?” are the types of things many of us state and ask ourselves.  

But what are these sentiments?  They only reinforce the so-called daily grind, as if we’re just going through the motions of another day….  What a way to get through our lives!  No wonder we’re miserable.  However, we can turn those energies around, and instead, feel thrilled to see what’s in store for us, knowing that it is going to be good. 

Remind yourself to take nothing for granted, because when we do, we disconnect from the divine source, where all good comes from.  Keep in mind that source is always there for us – as the endless supply of everything wondrous we can imagine and then some.  Through expressing gratitude, we plug into the eternal and endless consciousness that keeps freely supplying us with good — all day long. 

Feel free to express gratitude out loud for anything and everything that comes into your mind.  Nothing is too little or too small!  Express gratitude that you’re alive, for your money, friends, spouse, food, clothes in your closet, and for the wondrous sun which illuminates the earth.   The practice of gratitude will elevate you high above misery, depression, the doldrums, and the feeling of being weighted down by burdens and negativity.  Also, the more you express gratitude, the more you will have to be grateful for.  It is like a snowball that rolls down the side of a mountain that keeps picking up size and momentum.

Affirm the following and feel it as you say it:  I am grateful to be alive and for the continuous blessings I receive all day long!  It makes a real difference in the day ahead.  

3-Bless Others

One of the best things to do is the practice of blessing others.  It doesn’t matter who it is.  Whether it’s your family, friends, lover/spouse strangers, those you’ve had problems with, or someone you don’t even know, get into the habit of blessing others to spiritually jump start your day.  You’ll be surprised that by doing so, you will immediately feel lighter, brighter, and happier.  Also, good things will happen to you.

Remember that what we wish upon others comes back to us.  Most of us know this spiritual law, but we sometime lose sight of that fact, especially as we start our day.  When we’re in a hurry or feeling foggy, it’s so easy to just be proud of ourselves for crawling out of bed.  The last thing we’re thinking about is blessing anything or anyone as worries and concerns begin to crowd our mind.  But that’s not good enough!   

We need to get our day started in the right way, so that we are not just surviving, but will experience miracles and happy surprises.  By blessing others, we immediately set into motion the reality of bringing blessings back to us – today.  

Imagine good things coming your way all day long.  Now, it can be your reality.  Keep in mind that I’m not saying this from a point of view of faith, but rather, from actual experience, as I’ve seen it happen to those I’ve known and to myself.  Blessing others helps to bring you a miraculous day.

 Here is an affirmation to achieve this.  Name the person or persons in the blank space you’re blessing and say out loud:  I now bless______________and truly wish him/her all the miracles of life!  As with all of the affirmations in this article, I’m keeping them short and sweet, so they won’t be hard for you to remember.

With that in mind, never forget that spiritual truth is simple and not designed to fool us or trip us up, so we should never underestimate the power of simply blessing others.  Just send out these thoughts and wishes before you get involved in your day, and watch them return to you!     

4-You Have All the Time You Need

In today’s world, we hear people constantly complaining that they’re always running out of time and never getting done what they’re supposed to.  However, from a spiritual perspective, the truth is that there is always enough time to get everything done and each day is a day of completion.  In reality, you have all the time you need.

It’s a question of whether we want to look at it from the perspective of spiritual truth, or the point of view which is based on our frustrated human emotions and our prior conditioning.  With negative feelings, they are like a stampede of cattle that trample through our head and drown out our higher spiritual selves. 

We must retrain ourselves to believe that time is our ally and that completing our daily tasks is attainable.  This can be accomplished by elevating our perspective to begin to expect that we can meet our deadlines and have enough time to accomplish what we need to do every day.

Time in the spirit world is endless and eternal and provides us with all the time we could possibly need for this very day.  “Then why am I always running out of time and not getting things done?” you might ask.  It is because we’ve all gotten so used to the concept of “poverty of time,” which is that the clock is always running out on us.  With that belief system, we create the lack and limitation in physical reality that we already believe to be true in our consciousness. 

However, with the concept of an “abundance of time,” there is always enough time to get everything done today, and what a blessing that is!  We help to spiritually jump start our day by embracing the attitude that we do indeed have all the time we need and that our tasks are going to be completed.  We further reinforce this truth by saying the following affirmation:  I have more than enough time today to complete all of my tasks.  Today is a perfect day of completion!  

5-Experience The Joy Of Others

As we’ve all been hurt by others, it’s easy to lose sight of the fact that people are not really here to hurt us; but rather, to help, assist, and bring joy into our lives.  If we believe that others are “bad,” then we’ll experience that reality.  However, if we are open and willing to experience the joy of others, we can manifest that instead! 

Take a moment and return to the same innocence you had as a child, where you believed that everyone was a friend.  With the power of that conviction now, it sets into motion the reality of experiencing the joy of others in actual physical reality today.

Imagine that everyone you will encounter today will be friendly, respectful and kind toward you.  People are here to help!  No one makes condescending comments or is rude.  Instead, everyone is a friend.  Does it sound too good to be true?  Well, it isn’t, and that day is yours for the taking.

Remind yourself to greet everyone with good cheer, friendliness, respect and warmth.  That lifts you above the old emotional expectations that people are negative, and that you need to be guarded and on the defensive. 

With your vibration elevated, you’ll attract those who will bring joy into your day.  In addition, those who may have not brought joy to you before now will do so, as you’ve moved the energy to a higher level, and yes, they will respond to that change!

You further reinforce this reality with the following affirmation: I experience joy with everyone who crosses my path today!

One Last Thought…

Throughout this writing, I’ve been speaking of the concept of today – this one single moment – but in reality, how important could just one day really be…? 

Each day should never be thought of as some semi-forgetful blip on the radar screen where we merely go through the motions and just survive it all.  Instead, today is like an entire life in and of itself: where there is a dawn (birth), the day as it unfolds (living out our lives), and the nighttime where we go to sleep (death). 

We want to live each and every day as a complete story, not just based on the feeling that it’s the same old grind and never changes — because it always does.  We want to make sure that with the progression of our journey, that we’re putting into effect the changes that will allow us to be able to manifest all of the good we truly deserve.

We can draw a clear distinction between thinking of our day as a routine, uneventful, even dismal experience; versus living each day as a blessing filled with miracles and joyous expectations.  As we retrain ourselves to raise our vibration into being able to manifest the wondrous today, we see that it can be achieved through a few simple steps in just a matter of  minutes. 

Ask yourself what you feel you deserve and what your current expectations are.  What do you expect will happen to you today?  Is it bleak, dismal, so-so, or uncertain?  If it is any or all of those things, start by immediately expecting a miracle and nothing less. It changes everything for the better.

Wouldn’t it seem odd and ironic to speak of the karma we have all created throughout the many lifetimes we’ve lived in the same breath with our credit card debt?  After all, what could they possibly have to do with each other?  Our karma is thought of as a spiritual matter that entails our former actions through the countless incarnations we have all led, while our credit card debt is merely thought of as an earthly financial matter.  However, what if I told you that the parallels between the two are spiritually significant and helpful in our lives?

Most of us use them and have seen the blessings as well as the difficulty they bring to us.  While one needs a credit card in today’s world and we all know that the convenience it provides can be miraculous, we can all get carried away with our spending because there is always the thought that we can buy now, and pay later.

How many of us have become overwhelmed by credit card debt and find ourselves barely able to pay the minimum finance charge when the new bill arrives?  Sometimes our spending gets out of control through recreational and indulgent purchases, while at other times, our credit cards are the only way to stay afloat financially and afford expenses that we didn’t see coming, or just don’t have the money for at the time.  Yet as we spend, we often brush off the fact that we’ll have to pay the balance off — and on top of that, with interest that just keeps piling up!

Just like our credit card debt is increased and/or paid down, our negative karma adds spiritual debt while working off our bad karma pays it down.  In addition, the good karma we create always helps us to manifest a better life and move forward in a positive way.  However, no matter what, the debt we accrue both spiritually and financially will have to be paid off at some point in the future.  We must become more cognizant of the fact that we have to pay off our spiritual karmic debt if we want to spiritually advance and while doing so, we need to make every attempt to stop creating additional negative karma in the process.  With that in mind, let’s look at how we can take the steps to become something our soul is forever yearning for and working toward – to become spiritually debt free.

In the beginning…

Long ago, when we first began the reincarnation cycle, we were given complete free will from the divine universe.  We found ourselves in this world of illusion, like an imaginary playground where we could do whatever we wanted to.  Infinite spirit declared to us, “Here is your body, mind, emotions and spiritual self – you have been equipped with everything you could possibly need.  Now go out into this world!” 

An unlimited credit line

Back then, it was just like a 10 year old receiving a credit card that started with absolutely no credit limit whatsoever.  Imagine hearing the words, “Here is your credit card that has no limit and feel free to do whatever you want with it.  It is yours!”  It all sounds magical and whimsical, as if we had just won a multi-million dollar lottery.  Any of us would have probably said, “Oh my God, I can spend as much as I want – and there’s no limit!” But of course, the catch is that we all eventually have to pay off the balance whether now or later.

When it comes to our karma, it is exactly the same thing as having that unlimited credit card.  Of course, we have all spent more on our credit cards than we should have, just as each of us have hurt others in our lives.  We initially began creating negative karmic/spiritual debt by violating the law of love and committing bad acts.  By creating spiritual debts with others, we began owing them.  With the more negative karma we create, the higher our debt goes, just like seeing the charges on our credit card piling up every month. 

Many times we may have disregarded how our actions affected others and just did what we wanted, as if there would be no repercussions for our actions – ever.  But in reality, that is never that case.  As we all create both good and bad karma, it all comes back to us, sooner or later. 

When we’ve accrued negative karma by harming and victimizing others, we will eventually have to take care of those debts which won’t go away until they’re paid off – in full.   Paying our karmic debts from former lifetimes is something we’re still dealing with today, as we reincarnate into the physical world in part because of the negative karmic spiritual debt from our past actions.  It all began in the very beginning with our first violation of the law of love, which led to more karmic penalty, and it all keeps adding up….

Finance Charges Create Even More Debt

As we all know, the finance charges on our credit cards add even more debt. The higher the balance, the more the finance charges, which leads to an even higher balance and the cycle just keeps going….  This is just like the negative karma we create.  Not only do we have to pay off our karmic debts, but also the additional and subsequent repercussions that happen based on the initial negative acts we’ve done.  It is very much like throwing a pebble into the ocean and watching the ripples echo on into infinity.  This is exactly what happened to John and Sarah, a seemingly happy married couple.  

John liked being married to Sarah, but also wanted to cheat on the side to have his cake and eat it too.  Sarah had no idea of John’s affairs and she only found out by “accident.”  One day, John happened to leave his email account open when he left for work.  When Sarah went to the computer to look at her own emails, she noticed an open message right there on the screen. It was from another woman, detailing the wild sex she and John had in a hotel a few weeks prior.  With details of John’s anatomy that only someone would know who had been intimate with him, Sarah knew in one fell swoop that John indeed had cheated on her.  Sarah was just devastated.

After all, she didn’t see it coming as she truly believed that her marriage was stable and solid.  She thought they had a healthy sex life and everything seemed to be just fine.  So when Sarah caught her husband John with another woman, she felt as if the rug had been pulled out from under her.

But more importantly, though, are the series of repercussions that happened due to John’s initial cheating, (which were just like the finance charges that add even more debt the principle amount on our credit cards.)  After her devastation, Sarah began spiraling into a serious depression and overeating.  This lead to severe weight gain, which set off health issues that were quite worrisome: her blood pressure increased, and she developed heart trouble.  On top of that, she lost her focus on the job and was eventually fired.  This was all set off by what John had done to her and how the repercussions developed and grew over a period of about a year and a half.

As all of this was kicked into gear by the negative karma John created, and the continual repercussions his wife incurred were just like the finance charges that compound and increase the initial debit we owe on our credit cards.  It keeps building and accruing month by month – year by year and so on. 

As the difficulties with John’s wife and marriage continued, he, like many of us, wanted a quick fix – some easy way out so it could all be ok again, as he really didn’t want to lose his marriage; he had just wanted to cheat on the side.  But with karmic debt, there is no instant solution, as it takes a lot of time and effort to pay it off, which is something we all will have to learn, sooner or later.

Zero Balance – no interest for 12 months!

How many of us have fallen for the illusion of a credit card offer that says, “Zero balance, and no interest whatsoever on purchases for 12 months?”  Most of us have, as it’s so easy to get fooled by that financial carrot being dangled, and we also do the same thing with our negative actions.

We falsely believe that whatever we do won’t really come back to us – or at the very least, it’s delayed way off in the future and somewhere down the road.  “Why worry about it now?  Just do what you wanna do,” becomes many of our mottos, even if we don’t voice those sentiments out loud.

We delude ourselves into believing that our hurtful acts have a spiritual grace period – as if we’re exempt from paying our spiritual debts for awhile.  And it becomes so easy to extend that grace period in our own minds into being indefinite.  But our fantasy is absolutely not true. As every single thought, word, utterance and choice is immediately recorded in the heavens in real time where it is permanently stored, the repercussions always come back to all of us.

And just as the credit card companies lure us into serious debt by these promotional offers that give the illusion of everything being “free,” we do the same thing to ourselves regarding our spiritual journeys.  “After all, God didn’t just strike me down for what I did wrong, so it’ll all be ok,” is something any of us might believe.  This is exactly what happens to those of us who buy into such illusions and ultimately, we set ourselves up to pay the consequences in our lives..

Just making the minimum payments

We may have all bought into the illusion that there’s a grace period for our bad acts or falsely believe that they don’t really come back to us even though they always do.  However, in reality, we need to remember that it’s never simply a matter that all we’ve done in the past has been “wrong.”    

Most of us have created both good and bad karma in any given lifetime; it isn’t just one way or the other.  But now, we need to make sure that we burn off more negative karma that we already have to get our debt down, and simultaneously, create additional good karma in this lifetime.  This way, we keep evolving spiritually as opposed to just squeaking by in our lives.

Instead, so many people get stuck, just like those of us who can only pay the minimum amount on their credit cards every billing period.  We’ve reached the point financially where we open our bill and see that what we owe is far more than we’re going to make in an entire year.  On top of that, we barely have enough money right now to pay the minimum balance shown on the statement.

The same thing can happen to us spiritually where literally, we dig ourselves so deep into our own negativity in this lifetime that it is tremendously difficult to make a real dent in paying off our bad karma.  Yet, just like paying the minimum amount due, we continue to sort of get by in life, and move forward only to a point, as our debt has been in the making for quite a long time.

Shelly was a person who, like many of us, disregarded the consequences of her choices, till her life became overwhelmed by her past acts.  It was just like anyone who one day opens their credit card statement and realizes that after years of spending, they’re up to their eyeballs in debt.  For Shelly, it all started at the age of 20 when she became bored with her education when she was in school to become a lawyer.

In her own mind, she just felt that she could quit for the time being, have some fun and come back to school later and pick up where she had left off.  However, many people from her family to friends seriously warned her to not quit, as it would be hard to get back into school later.  But instead, she just did what she wanted to do anyway, took some time off, left her home state of Ohio to hang out in Florida where she started drinking and partying with different guys. 

One night while driving home intoxicated, she crashed into another car and injured a young, single mother named Terry.  She sustained a broken neck which only healed somewhat, and the injury left her with a lack of mobility and severe pain.  Then, because of this, Terry couldn’t work or properly take care of her young son and consequently ran out of money.  Shelly ended up losing her driver’s license for 2 years, and spent 6 months in jail.

At that point, Shelly was 24, decided to leave Florida, return home to Ohio and attempt to get back into school.  However, the Florida incident prevented her from ever getting a law degree, as she was a convicted felon.

After attempting to go back to school for another major, she met a man named Robert who really loved her.  So Shelly decided to quit school once again and focus on her relationship with Robert, but she was still drinking and didn’t really treat Robert very well.  In fact, Shelly never told Robert that she had contracted herpes during her wild times years ago in Florida and put him at risk by having unprotected sex with him.

Unfortunately, Robert did contract the disease from Shelly, but he didn’t even find out when and how he got it till after he and Shelly had been married for a couple of years.  Enraged beyond belief after he realized what Shelly had done to him, he immediately filed for divorce.  So after the marriage ended, Shelly was now 30, by herself and hardly had enough money to live on.  But Shelly now being in a position of barely being able to get by, all started 10 years ago with her initial choices to quit school when she was 20, party in Florida, drive home drunk and injure Terry.  

Here we see in a very direct way how Shelly’s choices led her into the position of struggling to merely stay afloat, just like someone who can only afford the minimum payment on their credit card because of their excessive spending habits in the past. 

Yet, just like Shelly, our spiritual repercussions have been in the making for a long period of time and are based on a variety of choices.  In Shelly’s case, it was over a 10 year time frame and clearly illustrated the fact that as with most of us, it’s the big picture that counts and not just one passing moment in time.

Our credit line is decreased and our interest rate gets raised

The repercussions of our negative choices often don’t come back immediately – as in instant karma.  However, in time, they always do.  This is just like hearing from our credit card company after we’ve charged our card to the limit, that our credit line has been decreased and our interest rate has gone up.  Already feeling financially strapped with nowhere to turn, this makes it even harder to wipe out our financial debt.

It is the same thing with our spiritual journey.  After a while, we’ve dug ourselves in deep enough from our choices that the divine universe limits our options, as we’ve shown that we’re not handling our freedom with the spiritual maturity we need to continue to have a wide open playing field.  Plus, we’re weighed down by the spiritual debts we’ve created.

Just like Shelly, we box ourselves into a corner regarding multiple areas of our lives.  Our choices leave us with so many consequences and sometimes those repercussions restrict us and tie our hands, just like being in school and having a sizeable back log of homework that we haven’t completed.  It isn’t as if we could just start over and do whatever we fancy – there are spiritual debts to pay.

In these instances, it’s always important to spiritually keep our eye on the ball and commit to working off our negative debt and building good karma through positive actions in our lives.  Even when we feel underwater and caught up in our own stuff, the only way out is by paying off our debt and continuing to attempt to manifest good!

And as with most of us, we progress through life with mixed results, ending up with a spiritual report card that has both high and low marks: not all A’s, but certainly not all F’s, but a mixture of all grades from a triumphant A+ to a failing F.  We’ve certainly done legitimate good in this world, but how much of our negative karmic debt have we paid off?  Moreover, have we created even additional bad karma in the process?  When it’s all said and done and we ultimately leave this world, we take that report card with us to the other side.  Whatever the debts are, they don’t merely go away by “dying”; but stay with us even after we leave our earthly journey.

Debts wiped out?

It would be nice to think that our karmic debt is somehow forgiven when we cross over – after all, we’ve just lost our physical life and have to make this adjustment to a new journey on the other side.  Shouldn’t our debts merely be just wiped out, so we could start fresh with a clean slate?  After all, if God could do absolutely anything, shouldn’t He be able to at least do that for us?

As much as these sentiments sound reassuring and comforting, they are simply not spiritually true.  In very sobering terms, whatever good karma we’ve created travels with us, as well as our negative karma too.  It certainly goes with us to the other side and we carry these issues and energies forward, just like on every credit card statement, it says, “Current balance,” and lists the amount of debt we still owe.

On the other side, it’s not as if we’re being judged, or having the finger pointed at us – it’s just a matter of spiritual law.  And the law is very fair to everyone – no one gets preferential treatment as the rich and the famous do in the physical world; everyone is treated equally.

So what can we do with these debts on the other side?  Can they be worked off there?  First, negative karma is not always able to be worked off on the other side.  While there may be instances where certain karmic issues can be resolved on the other side, for the most part, negative karma must be burned off in the physical world with the other souls the karma has been created with.  It’s not as if we can mix and match and burn off karma with random souls; it must be done with those it’s been created with and vice versa.  At the very least, what we can do on the other side is to look at what we’ve done, educate ourselves, spiritually grow, and plan for our next lifetime. 

A good way to think of this is that the other side is more likely to be a dress rehearsal: you practice, rehearse, and evaluate what you’ve done prior and prepare for your up and coming performance.  However, the actual performance is in our earthly journey and that’s what ultimately counts.  What we do in the physical plane determines whether we create good karma, burn off negative karma and/or create even more debt for the future.

In the physical world, it would be as if we lost everything we had financially and then called our credit card company on the phone and asked, “Can my debt please be wiped out, as I’ve lost my job and all the money I had?  I don’t know what to do.”  Of course, the company would be unwilling to oblige and you would still be liable for the debt you’ve incurred. 

From a spiritual perspective, that sense of liability is something Gerard experienced quite graphically when he reviewed his journey on the other side and through his teachers and guides, he became aware of just how much karmic debt he was still carrying.  In Gerard’s most recent incarnation, he mostly cared about one thing: himself.  He wasn’t exactly horrible to his wife and kids, yet he didn’t offer them any sense of emotional support or nurturing ever. 

Before entering this incarnation as “Gerard,” he promised he would do these things for his family.  Part of his karmic debt was to extend himself to those he had not supported before, meaning his wife and kids.  He owed them that debt from his neglect of them from prior lifetimes.  However, as is often the case, his ego and emotions got in the way and instead of resolving the negative karma he was supposed to, he created even more, and therefore, was further spiritually in debt being on the other side.

Therefore, when his life as Gerard was finished and we was reviewing his status in spirit, he was devastated, overwhelmed and racked by guilt from his actions and how he didn’t provide what he was supposed to for his wife and children.  His unwillingness to display genuine care and concern prevented him from not only working off his debt, but also helped to hold back his wife and children from manifesting their dreams.

“What can I do?” Gerard asked his teachers.  “How do I pay this off now?” he pleaded.  However, there was no quick fix or easy answer, as it couldn’t be paid off  from where he was at, as that would need to be done in a future physical lifetime with all of the principle parties who had been involved coming back together again on earth. 

It is just like reaching a point with your credit card debt where the only option that’s left is to rollover the balance onto a new card and start over.  From a spiritual point of view, that is just like bringing your karma (both good and bad), into your next incarnation, where we have our next opportunity to work off the bad, hopefully, not create any additional negative karma, and try to bring about as much good karma as we can.

Rolling the balance over to a new credit card

With our next incarnation, we have a fresh start and a new beginning – yet it is so important to take advantage of the opportunity to burn off our negative karma, not add even more bad repercussions for ourselves, indeed create good karma and spiritually move forward with our eternal journey.

We’ve all treated others badly and at some point, we all need to be humbled to that fact — not just saying it, but owning it.  Through humility, we’re able to approach our journey correctly, not from the point of view of just wanting what we want – like recklessly putting charges on our credit card as if there’s no tomorrow.  We must remind ourselves of what we’re here for, which is to spiritually evolve and pay off our debts from the past – as they hold us back from manifesting our divine highest good.

Yes, with each lifetime we get a fresh new start, but our former balance is there as well – just like rolling over our debt onto a new credit card.  Yet, as we look at something so cryptic and endless as the countless lifetimes we’ve lived and all of the incalculable karma we’ve all created (both positive and negative), we can use each new lifetime as a representation of what we can do today, right here, right now.

And of course we have debt from before, but by looking at today with a completely fresh perspective, we can continue to work it off – just like we can enter into a financial plan with an expert who knows how to help us out of credit card debt.  We can look at this day as a new beginning, as a moment to be able to truly spiritually advance ourselves.

If you are interested in having a private consultation with me, personally tailored to fit your questions, needs and concerns, click here.

For our entire adult lives, we’ve believed that fear is a bad thing and something that stands between us and our success.  Certainly all of us have felt fearful in our lives, as we can recall the times when we have experienced terror and panic – even sweating with our hearts racing.  Who likes to feel that way…?  So we tend to see fear as the enemy and something that is clearly harmful to us.

However, what if I told you that fear is clearly not the enemy, and that it can be a wondrous, divine gift from God – and our friend, perhaps, even our greatest ally?  How about if I said that fear can be the mouthpiece of sacred protection to guide us through the physical plane, which is filled with unpredictability, danger, violence, sudden accidents and potential catastrophe that we can experience at any time, whether in our lives or observe on the news?  In addition, what if I proposed that fear may be something that can help us to lead a more positive life?

Instead of it being able to assist us in manifesting a better life, we think of fear as a dreaded, awful, unsettling and terrifying energy that makes us feel horribly out of control.  It is seen as a primitive and base emotion no longer necessary for us as rational adults, but reserved for people who don’t have themselves together, psychiatric nut cases, and those who are rabidly violent and behave like wild animals.  In fact, it was in ancient times that fear raced through our veins as the adrenaline rush that tried to protect us from ever-present life and death circumstances such as being chased by wild animals – and that was as a good thing back then. 

However, in today’s world, our lives have dramatically changed and we’re no longer running through the jungles, and thankfully, we hardly face being killed on a regular basis.  So it’s easy to see fear as an archaic, out of date, negative emotion which serves no valid purpose in our lives at all as we are now logical, rational adults.  But we may not even realize that today, we still do rely on fear, even though we may not think of it quite that way.

Presumably, we teach our children from a very early age how to be careful as we are their mentors and guardians.  But what we’re really doing is teaching them how to be afraid: of playing in the street as they could get hit by a vehicle and killed, of sticking a fork in an electric socket as electrocution could occur, and of getting in a car with grown up strangers as they could be sexually assaulted and murdered.  What if we didn’t ever teach our children to be scared of anything at all?  Clearly, they would meet with horrific, and probably life ending circumstances before they reached the first grade.

However, as adults, we have turned our backs on the value of being afraid and attempt to make fear our adversary, all under the guise that we are now more mature and no longer need it.  “Why be afraid of the boogie man in the basement?” we chuckle.  But in reality, we should never turn our backs on fear, no matter how smart, together, or evolved we think we are.  With that in mind, you might be asking if I’m trying to state that absolutely all fear is a good thing for us to embrace.  No, I am not at all.

Keep in mind that for the sake of this article, I am not speaking of fears that are bad for us such as the fear of commitment, intimacy, losing control, not being good enough, being scared of showing who we are because we’ll be rejected, and of not being approved of by others.  These are the types of fears that are not for our highest good, hold us back, cripple us, and that we need to work through, get past, and rise above.  But for the sake of this writing, I address the fears that spiritually are a divine guiding light that we must absolutely learn to listen to.

How we’ve made fear the enemy

In today’s culture, people go to therapists, read self help books, say affirmations, meditate, and desperately try anything and everything to get rid of their fears, so that they can ostensibly be free to live better lives.  New age and modern spirituality teach us that we should not be afraid, and that in order to evolve to a higher consciousness, fear must be eradicated within us.

But in our culture, where blatant self centeredness and narcissism are the prevailing mode of behavior today, the absence of fear has created a whole new world of people who boldly enshrine everything they do.  “I’m just being me!” has becomes the calling card of people who are behaving selfishly and disrespectfully toward others.  “This is just the way I am!” people curtly rationalize as they’re hurting others.  In today’s society, people are far more selfish and aggressive than ever before. 

We have been taught that being pushy and “looking out for number 1” is good – and that being concerned about how we treat others is unnecessary, and may even put us at a disadvantage.  “It’s all about me!” is now seen as a good motto.  The concepts of self-censorship, caution, and awareness of how we interact with the world at large have been distorted into the false belief that by doing so, we would be denying who we are.  In short, we just now do whatever it is that we want to – and we’re ok with that.

Even though we hurt others, and through harming others, ultimately victimize ourselves, we don’t want to recognize that fact.  As a culture, we really don’t care, as long as we get what we want, or perceive that we are.  But if we made fear our friend, we would be far less likely to hurt others and ourselves.  You might ask, “How is that possible?”

When it’s good to be afraid

Without fear, we would literally do anything we wanted to do, as we’d feel that there are no repercussions for our actions and we’d be living in a “consequence free zone.”  If nothing scary or bad is going to happen to us from what we do, then what’s there to be afraid of?  Think of it for a minute.  If most people on this earth believed that they could do whatever they wanted without any negative consequence whatsoever, this world would be a disastrous free for all.  Living and interacting with others would be only about our desires, ego, impulses, narcissism, and violent survival of the fittest.   Unfortunately, that is largely where society is already at today. 

From a spiritual perspective, it is terrible, as this type of sensibility and behavior does one of the worst things we could do on earth, which is to create additional negative karma for ourselves!  By creating more negative karma, we keep reincarnating into the physical world under difficult, hellish, and sometimes downright miserable circumstances where we owe many types of debts to others.  So then, what can we do?

We must absolutely learn to be fearful of the possibility of creating additional negative karma, and we do this by first becoming afraid of the repercussions of our thoughts, words, actions and deeds.  One way of doing this is by taking a different look at an old Biblical phrase that completely speaks to this situation.  If we change the statement, “Fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom,” to “Fear of the Karmic Law is the beginning of wisdom,” we gain clarity and understanding.  In fact, many Bible passages will make perfect sense from a metaphysical perspective by replacing the word “Lord” with the phrase “Karmic Law.”  

But how many of us are really scared of karmic law, as we should be?  Who really stops what they’re doing because they know it will all come back to them in a negative way at some undeterminable point in the future?  Most of us rationalize, make excuses, sidestep looking at the truth, go into a convenient form of denial, and in short, just do whatever we want to do.  This is exactly what happened to Jenny.

If only Jenny was afraid

Jenny supposedly knew all about karma, had read many self-help books and claimed to be spiritually aware.  Yet, she never really considered listening to anything that went against her ego and what she emotionally desired.  Therefore, Jenny always did exactly what she wanted to do, and in late 2004, came to a life altering crossroad. 

She had been married to a man who really loved her, doted on her, and was completely faithful to her.  However, this became tremendously boring to Jenny.  As a woman, she wasn’t that comfortable with real intimacy and commitment and took her marriage totally for granted.  Jenny liked dangerous, exciting, cocky and edgy men, as she still wanted to live like a rebellious teenager.

So in surfing the internet one day, she came across an old high school flame on Facebook who now lived across the country.  Curious and excited, she started emailing him and to her delight, he emailed back.  Immediately, they started engaging in sexually explicit fantasies together over the Internet.  This went on for about six months.

Yet, every time Jenny sent or received a correspondence from her old flame, she felt a rush of fear surge through her body, like a lightning bolt of terror.  It wasn’t that she felt guilty or bad for being disloyal to her husband; she felt scared!  “Something felt wrong,” she said to herself — yet she chose to ignore the fear and kept the contact going.  But as time went on, this impending feeling of doom became stronger, not weaker, yet she still refused to examine what this fear could be saying to her.

After a year of regular contact with her old flame, she was addicted to the excitement of the situation, yet she was feeling literally sick to her stomach every time there was correspondence.  Yet, in spite of continuous fearful misgivings, she considered taking a plane to see this man, thinking he might be her soul mate. 

In her mind, Jenny planned on dumping her husband if things worked out with her old flame.  So she booked the plane flight and lied to her husband, claiming she was going to look at houses and neighborhoods in another state for them to potentially move to.  However, Jenny couldn’t shake the fear, as now she was literally trembling in terror at the thought of getting on that flight.  Still, with all her fearful misgivings, she did it anyway…. 

She got on the plane and went to see her old flame.  When they first met face to face again after almost 13 years, they immediately went to his place and had wild sex, which was of course, electrifying.  In fact, for a few weeks, that’s all they did.  With every day becoming more sexually kinky, Jenny put aside her fears which were still nagging her every day and thought this was it!  “He is my soul mate.  I’m going to dump my husband and be with my soul mate forever!” she proclaimed out loud.  So Jenny not only divorced her husband, but she gave up the home she and her husband shared and let him keep all of the assets — all supposedly for love. 

Then, all at once, the roof caved in.  She found out that her old flame had been working as a contractor in the state she flew to see him in.  But now, his contract was up and he was going home to a different state, one where of all things, he lived with someone – his wife.  So after this man had his fun, he calmly and non-emotionally left Jenny to go back to his wife. 

But now it was too late for Jenny, as she had already burned the bridge with her husband, and had no money.  Through the devastation of by being discarded by her old high school flame and losing the security of her marriage, she became seriously and violently ill.  With no options or support from anyone, her life completely fell apart. 

Now, it’s almost five years later and Jenny has chronic back problems, no money or lover, and is barely scraping by.  Not only was her husband devastated by the divorce, but after he later found out why Jenny originally got on the plane to meet her old high school flame, he went into a serious depression and lost his job.

In this instance, through not listening to her fears and doing what she wanted to do, the karmic repercussions were immediate for Jenny.  So it’s easy to illustrate the very graphic and direct cause and effect relationship between what she did and how and when it came back to her.  However, karma does not usually come back instantly to us or in a quick fashion.  It can take years, decades, and/or even lifetimes to come back.  It begs the question, “What would have happened if only Jenny was fearful enough to act on the misgivings she felt?” because if she was, she would have never got on that plane, and her life would have not had to fall apart in the horrific and dramatic fashion that it did.

It took Joe 7 years to learn that fear was really his best friend

The repercussions for our thoughts, words, and choices don’t usually come back to us immediately, and that’s indeed what happened to Joe.  Back in 2000, his best friend Chuck wanted Joe to put up money for a joint business venture — a restaurant that Chuck would run day by day.  Chuck had already managed many successful restaurants, and now, he wanted to go into business for himself with Joe as his partner.

Even though Chuck had a great track record of success in business and was supposedly Joe’s best friend, as soon as this idea was proposed to Joe, he immediately saw an intuitive vision in his mind which was a picture of a stop sign that had the words “Don’t!” written on it.  Granted, Joe had never really been a big financial risk taker, but still, in spite of that, Joe was stunned by the intuitive flash he saw, therefore, he felt unsettled about giving Chuck the money.

“C’mon Joe, this is your chance to make some real money!  We will be working for ourselves.  You’ve got the money, and I’ve got the know-how!  Let’s do this now,” Chuck encouraged.

For three months, Chuck rode Joe about investing in this restaurant venture, and no matter what day of the week it was or what mood Joe was in, when the issue came up, Joe would see the same intuitive vision of the stop sign that said “Don’t!” written on it.  Every time he thought of doing this with Chuck, he just couldn’t say yes.

But as many of us do, he brushed the fear aside, didn’t listen to what his intuition was saying to him and invested in the restaurant venture.  The day he signed on the dotted line, he was nervous, unsettled and frightened all day.

So in the years that followed, the business only yielded a marginal amount of financial return to Joe.  At times, Joe would think that eventually he’d at least make back his investment and break even.   However, whenever Joe thought such thoughts he received a new intuitive vision which contained the words written across the sky that said, “Get out now!”  This happened almost every time he’d receive a financial accounting of how the business was doing. 

Once again, Joe blew off what fear was saying to him through his intuition visions and just let the business agreement drag on and hoped for the best.  However, the reason for all of his fears became quite apparent in one simple knock on his door, when Joe was paid a visit by the IRS.

After 7 years, the IRS caught up with Chuck, who had not paid taxes regarding the restaurant and had lied on his tax returns.  So now, the IRS had indicted Chuck, was seizing the assets of the restaurant and wanted to question Joe about his involvement in this tax fraud scam.  As one can imagine, he almost saw his entire life flash before him when the IRS agents appeared at his door with this type of interrogation.

As it turned out, Joe didn’t get indicted, but he had to pay a huge debt to the IRS, which virtually wiped out his entire life savings.  The IRS was able to seize all of the assets of the restaurant, close it down, and Chuck ended up in prison for a few years.  Now, Joe is out of money, and has no idea to manifest a new nest egg to retire on.  Sadly, it took 7 long years for the repercussions of his choices to finally come back – and he learned the very tough lesson that Chuck was never really his best friend – but that his fearful intuitive visions were.

Nancy’s terror saved her life

Nancy was a woman who had been alone for 5 years, and she finally decided that it was time to at least go out and meet some men socially, and see if anything might come of it.  She went to a restaurant/bar that she used to frequent years ago and sat down to order a drink.  Within minutes, a dark haired, well built, seemingly pleasant and friendly Hispanic man approached her and said, “Hi, my name is Juan.  Do you mind some company?”

Startled, Nancy was caught off guard, and clumsily replied, “Well, ok.”  Within a few minutes, Nancy started feeling complete and utter terror and had no idea why.  While Juan was gazing in her eyes, focusing only on her, speaking gently and quietly while paying for her drinks, she could literally feel the hair stand up on the back of her neck.  What was wrong, she asked herself? 

Then, Juan went to the bathroom, and suddenly, Nancy heard a loud voice with her physical hearing that said, “Leave immediately!”  Startled, she looked around the room, but no one was even looking in her direction, so she realized that this had to be one of her spirit guides communicating with her.  She prepared to pick up her purse and run out of the establishment, but Juan came back and sat down.  Now, he started caressing her hands and as he did, she felt a level of fearful panic that rarely came over her.  A few minutes later, he excused himself again to go to the restroom, and her spirit guide loudly said once again, “Leave immediately!”

This time, Nancy was not going to ignore this fearful spiritual message, and she literally grabbed her purse, ran out the door, got into her car and quickly drove away.  When she got home, she was literally almost hyperventilating and couldn’t understand why.

Then, three days later, she happened to turn on the local news, and there it was: Juan had just been indicted for the rape of a local woman.  He picked this woman up the very same night at the exact place he met Nancy.  Juan was from out of state, so no one in the restaurant/bar knew him, so he was cruising anonymously for a victim — and he found one. 

But that victim could have been Nancy.  However, she listened to the terror that was sent from the divine universe – as it was truly one of her spirit guides that literally proclaimed out loud the sacred words to her of, “Leave immediately!”  Fortunately, Nancy listened to what her spirit guide said to her and let terror save her life! 

How fear can help you every day

Whether it’s the stories of Jenny, Joe, Nancy, or any of our own, we see how fear can play a much more profound and potentially positive role in our lives than we’ve ever imagined.  And it is not just that horrible dreaded emotion we all desperately pray would somehow just leave us alone and go away.  Instead of running away from our fears, we need to listen to them and always ask the question, why….  Why am I feeling afraid?  What am I scared of?  But to do that effectively we must first answer the question, “What is the real spiritual purpose of fear in our lives?”

The purpose of fear is to help us stay alive and survive so we can fulfill our destiny and complete our various missions here on earth.  As we will all die, and everyone knows it, the instinctive sense of survival is extremely deep rooted in us.  It’s as if a branding iron has burned fear deeply into our subconscious minds.  So fear is the warning alarm of our survival, but is that always a good thing?  That all depends on the type of “survival” we’re looking at.

With negative fear (which can be thought of as self-defeating), our fears try and protect us in a non-productive way, and instead, only hold us back and only hurt us.  If we’re afraid that we’re not worthy of being loved, we won’t let someone good into our lives.  In this instance, our fear tries to protect us from the very thing that is good for us, which is being loved by someone else.  And that’s all because we’re scared that we’re not worthy of being loved.  If we’re afraid that we’re not worthy of being rich, our fear will prevent money from coming to us.  This is also not beneficial, as that only prevents us from manifesting our divine highest good!

With positive fear (which helps us to avoid danger, harm, bad choices, tragedy, and anything that hurts us or others), our need and ability to flourish through listening to fear is a spiritual gift.  And we must learn to listen to these divine warnings.  That positive sense of fear can manifest in any area of our lives: our health, physical safety, finances, romantic relationships, business and career choices, decisions regarding family and friends, and in any number of ways.

When we receive any kind of a scary warning, we must stop and look at it to see if it’s just our internal “stuff,” or something truthful that can protect us and potentially save our lives.  There is no magic formula for understanding each fearful warning, but something we need to look at on a case by case basis with a sincere, open mind.  Remember, God isn’t in the business of trying to fool us, and we won’t ever be given something too complex for us to figure out or handle.  So it’s a matter of sincerely listening and working with the benefits of what fear can do for us. 

There are more than enough curve balls and tough challenges that life throws us – and certainly, we don’t need to add any more to that potentially long list.  We achieve this by letting fear reveal to us the choices that are going to harm us, sidestep tragedy when we can, and prevent us from destroying our lives and the journeys of others.  Divine fear speaks to us in any number of ways: through a vision, a spiritual message from our spirit guides, gut level instincts, intuition, an unsettling, scary psychic feeling that may not go away, and information revealed to us in our dreams.

By healing our relationship to fear, we can walk through this very unpredictable and often dangerous world with a renewed sense of confidence, security, trust, and safety.  We can do this now because we indeed know to listen, receive, and bond with one of the greatest and best friends the divine universe could ever give to us – a loving friend named fear.

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