Voice of the Spirit

At the end of a relationship, have you ever wished that you only knew certain things about the person in the beginning?  Would it
surprise you to know that those very things may have always been there – for you to see?  We need to always look for the “red flags”
when meeting new people, whether in romantic relationships, friendships, career or business partnerships.  “Red flags” are the
divine universe’s way of providing us with the necessary warning signs and alarms that are vital to protecting us from negative and
debilitating life changing relationships.

How many times have I heard client’s say, “If I only would have listened to my first impressions and what my gut said when I met
that person, I wouldn’t have gone through such a horrible experience?  The red flags were right there for me to see, but I
ignored them, and did what I wanted to do anyway.” 

As we look back at our failed and problematic relationships, we’ll see that the red flags and warning signs were indeed there.
Whether immediately apparent or revealed in a reasonable amount of time, who a person really is and what their true intentions are
toward us always become clear. 

We now need to incorporate the awareness from what we’ve been through before into our experience today, as to not make the same
missteps again.  Also, we need new tools that will help us to see people for who they really are and help us to identify the red
flags right off the bat or shortly after we have met them.

To achieve that end, I have written the two-part series: “10 Undeniable Red Flags.” Today’s newsletter offers Part 1, #’s 1-5,
while Part 2, #’s 6-10 will appear in my the next blog entry.

1-First Impressions Don’t Lie
When we meet people, our innate psychic radar is tuned in loud and clear.  You can refer to it as intuition, gut level instinct, or an
unexplainable feeling.  Whatever you choose to call “it,” we are always “checking out” who a person really is when we meet them;
even if we don’t believe in psychic ability, intuition or anything beyond our five mundane senses. 

Why do we do this?  It ties into our need to survive.  What we’re looking for, even if we’re consciously unaware of this process, is to know who and what a person actually is; beneath their veneers and social skills.  By intuitively “checking someone out,” we see if they will threaten, harm, lie to us, or be beneficial in our lives.  It is the intuitive equivalent of stepping into a house we may purchase, looking around, scrutinizing it, and seeing if it’s a good or bad choice.  Do you remember the phrase, “The devil is a gentleman?”  Very few people instantly come off bad or project that they’re a negative person — certainly not in polite society.  In the beginning, most people are on their best behavior.  Also, the only way to draw you into the new relationship is to appear to be a good person.

So whatever your first impression is, it will be correct, especially if you’re going into it with an open mind.  Sure, if you’re meeting a blind date, and you want them to be “the one,” that clouds your real intuition, which can easily be replaced by your emotional desires pretending to be your gut. However, if you’re just being natural and neutral without expectation when you meet someone, your initial take on them will be correct.  Often, these feelings are absolutely contradictory to who a person “seems” to be, and don’t make sense at all.  However, they’re not supposed to, as intuition is not logical.  Intuition is beyond what we can perceive with our five physical senses. 

This very thing happened to Jennifer when she met a man named John who dressed well, was attractive, successful, and quite polite.  By anyone’s standards, he was a fantastic catch.  Yet something felt wrong — really wrong.  When she stood next to him, she was unsettled.  Something just didn’t feel right, which she couldn’t explain to herself, understand why, or even begin to know what it was.  Yet, in the midst of John gently talking about taking her on a lovely dinner date and gazing wistfully at her with his bright blue eyes, Jennifer’s uneasy feelings grew stronger.

So she decided to listen to what she felt, even though it seemed odd, and rejected John’s offer of a date.  What a smart move she made, as Jennifer later found out that he has several girlfriends, and that one of these women actually accused him of being abusive toward her.  By Jennifer listening to her gut, she avoided a potentially disastrous involvement that could have potentially lead her to a horrible life altering entanglement.  Here, her first impression showed her the truth, as it always does – and Jennifer was smart enough to listen, as we all should.

2-Instant Connection
“I have never felt a feeling like this before.  I was instantly so attracted to him, I couldn’t believe it.  Our eyes locked, and I was completely hypnotized.  From the moment we met, I fell in love,” Suzie explains about her new love, Jason.  “I know it’s happening so fast, but it feels so right,” she adds.  Quickly, the couple moved in together, and became engaged within a few months. Shortly after, the two married. 

However, after the dust settled, the couple realized that they really weren’t compatible at all.  Within a year or so, Suzie and Jason were divorced.  The instantaneous chemistry they experienced clouded the reality of who they really were as individuals, how they related to each other as a couple, and what they each needed in a relationship.

Do you remember the phrase, “If it seems too good to be true, it probably is?”  When meeting someone who becomes our new best friend, or falling in love instantly, there are usually serious problems. With “instant connection,” it’s largely based on fantasy. By connecting so quickly, the reality of who a person is and the real chemistry of a relationship is obfuscated and made unclear. This way, (at least in the beginning) one can write the script any way they want.  Since it’s new, there’s no water under the bridge, baggage, issues, or problems; at least not yet.  However, sooner or later, the reality of the actual dynamics between two people always reveals itself.

As in the case of Suzie and Jason, the feelings they experienced hardly had anything to do with how they truly felt about each other on a real level.  They were both open to and looking for a certain experience – in the short of it, a whirlwind romance.  Suzie and Jason both provided a fantasy experience for each other, and projected what they wanted the other person to be.  That fantasy was bought into enough for them to even get married. 

Yet time proved their relationship wasn’t based on compatibility, shared goals, values, or dreams.  Suzie and Jason became interchangeable parts in each other’s agenda, and used therelationship to have the experience they individually desired. This experience was both emotionally and financially quite costly.  They both became disillusioned in love, and had to pay high lawyers’ fees, as the couple fought over an expensive home they jointly purchased.

So it is crucial when meeting people to never deny the red flag of “instant connection.”  If something is right, it will stand the test of time, and it will make sense as the relationship unfolds.  If it isn’t right, why put yourself in such a difficult situation, where you can become hurt, used, disillusioned, world weary, and even devastated?  Just like when driving a car, you hopefully wouldn’t turn on the ignition, and immediately jam the acceleration pedal to the floor.  With any new relationship possibility that crosses your pathway, let it grow organically and reasonably.  This way, the true reality of the “connection” you and this person share becomes revealed in a timely fashion.  This helps you to navigate your journey safely and productively.

3-What you see is what you get, sort of…
We often hear that honesty is the best policy in relationships, but are there ever situations where too much honesty can be a red flag…?

Too much truth can hide a lie. “Janice, I’m married. Just wanted to let you know the facts right off the bat,” Jose said.  Here, Janice is startled and surprised by what Jose, a man she just met, has said to her.  “He’s so honest.  At least I know what I’m dealing with,” Janice confides to a girlfriend.  Days later, Jose said to her, “I may be married, but I haven’t had sex with my wife for years.  The sight of her disgusts me, so I always sleep in the basement.”  Janice is further intrigued.  Since Jose was initially honest about being a married man, she thinks that what Jose is saying now (about not being sexually active with his wife for years), must also be true.  However, it was a lie.  Jose has had a regular sex life with his wife since they were married. 

Some people, such as Jose, initially tell the truth in a way that is unflattering to themselves by declaring such things as:  “I’m married.”  “I’ve had a drug problem in the past.”  “I’ve been arrested once before a long time ago.”  “You might ask, “Why would anyone do this?”  Because these types of admissions are designed to make the person saying such things look totally honest, which allows them to gain the trust of others.  It appears as if a person such as Jose is actually noble, and willing to risk it all, solely to tell the truth.  Then, if trust can be gained, it is presumable that the other person, such as Janice, will believe what is also said to them.  It can actually create an even deeper trust, as someone like Janice feels that they’re in on the secret, and included in on private and privileged information.  It all creates a powerful smoke screen.
 
What if the person admitting their past drug problem said it to hide the fact that they’re still doing drugs now?  How about if the person acknowledging they were arrested before said it to avoid the reality that they actually did hard prison time recently, and has trouble with the law again?  The red flags are clear.  When any of us meet someone like Jose, we should always ask ourselves: “Why would someone I just met tell me things about themselves that are downright incriminating?  What do they have to gain by telling me this information?  Who am I to know all of this…?”  Something is obviously wrong, and it can’t be denied. 

Unfortunately, Janice bought into the illusion of Jose being a blatantly honest man.  She had the affair with him, and eventually discovered that he and his wife were still having sex.  Janice was his mistress for five long years, as she couldn’t put her mind around the red flag of his “false honesty.”  Even though honesty may not always be designed to camouflage a lie as it was for Jose, it can be a powerful game and even a weapon.

Honesty as a game and a weapon
“Cindy, I don’t want a commitment,” David flatly states.  He just started communicating with Cindy online, and wants to establish the rules of the game straight away.  On the other hand, she also recently started talking with Frank, another man she met online. Frank says the opposite of David:  “I’m looking to get married now, Cindy, and that’s what I want.” 

Both of these honest statements are a red flag.  Why?  Because these two “honest” men come into a new relationship with a pre-existing agenda, without even knowing who Cindy is.  This means that these men are not really open to what a new relationship can be.  Cindy is put in the position of having to accommodate the rules of the game, as laid out by David or Frank.  The agenda of David is to avoid commitment, yet still have sex, while Frank is looking for a wife, plain and simple.  This allows them to establish control of whatever builds from the initial contact, as they have rigidly defined the parameters of what the relationship will be from here on out.

However, Cindy realized that what these two men were engaging her in a game – one where only they set the rules.  As she really did want a real relationship, she cut her ties with David and Frank, and began meeting new people.

In addition to it being a game as is was with David and Frank, too much honesty can also be a quite powerful weapon:  “I don’t like your dress,” Bill says to Tasha, who he’s on his first date with.  “I think it’s not very attractive on you at all,” he further chimes in.  Here, his honesty makes Tasha feel bad about herself, especially because she didn’t even ask Bill what he thought of her dress.  “What do you want me to do?  Lie?  I’m just being honest with you,” Bill further defends.  This type of honesty is a huge red flag, as it allows Bill to attack Tasha’s self image and self esteem, which sets himself up to use honesty as a way to dominate, control, and potentially abuse her.  Tasha felt so energetically molested by Bill’s comments, that she dumped him flat that evening, as the red flag was so crystal clear to her.  Bill tried to further create excuses for his behavior; that’s he a little blunt, but that
he doesn’t mean to hurt anybody…but Tasha refused to buy into it.

Honesty as an excuse
Like Bill, some use honesty as a way of defining their faults right up front, simply as a way of excusing them.  “I know I’m always late.  That’s just the way I am.  I’m sorry, but I just wanted to let you know up front,” Kevin says to Joel, a new potential business partner.  “If I show up late, don’t take it personally, as it’s just the way I’ve always been,” he further adds.  Here, Kevin is not trying to acknowledge his faults as a way of working on them and becoming a better person.  It’s just a way of him saying that this is who he is and the way it will be, and for Joel to be prepared to deal with it.  Kevin is using honesty as a way of justifying being inconsiderate of his potential new partner, and setting the tone.  If Kevin’s late and his partner has to wait, who gets victimized?  Of course, Joel does.

However, Joel decided to ignore this red flag.  He chose to see Kevin’s admission as forthright and decided to go into business with him anyway:  “Hey, no one’s perfect.  So Kevin’s late sometimes.  I can deal with that,” Joel said.  However, little did Joel know that it would cost him a valuable business contract.  In typical fashion, Kevin showed up late for a business meeting where a potential investor simply got tired of waiting around.  He then pulled the plug on investing into Kevin and Joel’s enterprise. This was all because the potential investor was soured by Kevin’s lack of professionalism.

In any relationship, whether professional or personal, we all want to be involved with someone who is honest.  That goes without saying.  However, we need to watch for the instances where too much honesty becomes something we get fooled by.  It is a definite red flag whenever honesty is used to set up or achieve an additional agenda or ulterior motive.

4-Lies, Lies, Lies
Very few people just lie through their teeth when you first meet them, as no one would consider a person like that to be credible on any level.  Anyone who lies about anything and everything appears mentally ill. Therefore, a good liar mixes the lies with the truth. More importantly, though, is to watch how a liar slowly and insidiously incorporates their lies into a new relationship. Things might start off seemingly good, until the story of who they are and what they initially presented themselves to be changes and shifts — a little at a time. 

If the red flags are not apparent immediately, they will begin to be revealed within a reasonable amount of time.  The key is to not get emotionally hooked into the person within that probationary period, as you’ll need to extricate yourself from the relationship if the lies begin emerging.

That’s exactly what happened to Jonathan.  He came up with an idea for an internet business, and in looking for someone to work with, he ran into Edward, who claimed to have launched several successful internet ventures.  Edward offered names of people he had worked with, and the information he provided seemed to check out at first.  However, as several weeks unfolded, holes started appearing in Edward’s story.  He assured Jonathan that he would speak with former associates, and even mentioned times where communication would occur.  However, these “partners” never called Jonathan as Edward had promised they would.  At first, it was explained as so and so was busy, out of town, and will get back in touch.  After three weeks of this, Jonathan became suspicious. 

Edward put Jonathan in touch with some financial investors, who sounded upbeat and positive in the initial conversations about funding the project.  Edward then assured Jonathan that the money was going to come within a few weeks.  As Jonathan waited, the money never came.  The only thing that moved forward with the project was that Edward wanted Jonathan to sign papers to make him a partner. 

It was now about 6 weeks into this, and nothing had materialized as Edward promised it would.  Although not instantly, the red flags revealed themselves in a timely fashion well within 90 days.  Jonathan had seen enough warning signs, and decided to terminate his new relationship with Edward, and simply moved on.  Maybe not at first, but liars always do get caught and busted. Their deception and secretiveness will make a person they’re involved with suspicious and mistrustful of who they are and what they do.  Eventually, it all comes out.  But what if it’s too late?  Meaning, what if one is too emotionally involved to cut their ties once the lies are completely unveiled?

This is what Laura went through when she started dating Chuck in early 2006.  At first, Chuck declared that he was a faithful man, open and honest, only dates one woman at a time, and would never lie to Laura.  (Initially Laura’s intuition strongly warned her to stay away from Chuck, as her gut felt that something was wrong.) Yet she decided to continue dating him and let the situation unfold, as she had no tangible proof of him being a liar.

As time went on, he seemed more and more secretive, and closed off a lot of the time.  It got worse after the first few weeks of their relationship.  When he explained where he was and what he was doing, there were holes in his stories – timelines and dates didn’t add up or make sense.  How could he be with his mother, yet be spotted in a bar by one of Laura’s friends at the same time?  It was becoming increasingly clear after about 4 weeks, that Chuck was deceptive.  In spite of these multiple red flags which grew stronger, she was emotionally too involved to just get out. 

So she asked God almighty to show her what her new boyfriend was doing, as she supposedly wanted to know the truth.  Do you recall the phrase, “Don’t wish for something, you might just get it?”  Laura’s wish was definitely granted to her within 7 weeks.  One day, she came over to see Chuck, who was in the shower when she arrived.  He accidentally left his computer on, and as Laura walked by, it was all there for her to see:  pornographic pictures from other women, sexually explicit messages, and dates and times when Chuck would be meeting these other females.  It all came out — as it always does.  However, when she found out the truth, she claimed it was too late for her to get out of the relationship.  She was too emotionally into Chuck, and therefore, she decided to stay with him.

Very few people lie extensively right off the bat.  The red flags may be apparent in small ways (which should never be denied), but if not, they will emerge.  At first, a liar has to create a smokescreen that might seem plausible.  With Edward, he played himself off as being more successful than he was and tried to string Jonathan out with false hopes.  With Chuck, he portrayed himself as the good guy — but through time, the illusion came crashing down.

The real key is to never deny any red flags that present themselves at any point in the relationship, whether in the beginning or a bit down the road; before your emotions get too involved.  Even if it’s not apparent at first, it all comes out in the wash.  Just be open to the truth, and don’t deny the red flags, as they never lie as people like Edward and Chuck do…

5-Push me, pull me
For any of us who have been in a push me pull me relationship, its dizzying effects can be worse than being dumped.  The ups and downs and roller coaster-esque ride not only cause us to lose our center; they can also make us relinquish control of our lives.  Being preoccupied, unable to focus at work, not eating, worrying incessantly if and when we’ll hear from them, draining our friends by repeating the same concerns over and over again, and shutting down are all typical symptoms of the push me, pull me syndrome. 

Usually, the red flags are apparent pretty quickly as the new lover you’ve met comes on strong at first – in fact, very strong.  This is necessary for them to hook you in.  Without coming on strong initially, it is presumable that you won’t invest your mind, body, and soul into this new relationship.  That investment on your part is necessary for them to be able to play this game on you.  Then, once you’re hooked, they pull back.  Why?  This is their way of establishing control, setting the tone, limits, parameters, and dynamics of the relationship.  They see you when it’s convenient to them, and if and when they choose not to, you’re put on the shelf till they decide to connect with you later.  It allows them to have their cake and eat it too.

They are counting on you clinging to false hopes, as you can remember that way it initially was, and hope for a return to the magic that briefly once was.  After all, the honeymoon just occurred.  You can believe that by being patient and biding your time, things will someday go back to the way they were in the beginning.  Remember, the person in control serves two masters: on one hand, the relationship, and conversely, their ego, selfishness and mind games which creates inconsistency, distance, avoidance and unavailability.  And it’s all done on purpose…because if you believe they’re confused, and/or become confused yourself, the relationship keeps on going.

Using confusion as a way to create confusion
This is what Joyce went through when she met Steve who immediately showed a strong interest in her.  After about three weeks or so, he began playing the push me, pull me game.  Here was a gigantic red flag, and it created a lot of confusion for Joyce – exactly as it was supposed to.  Steve claimed that he was actually the one who was confused.  He said that he knew he had feelings for Joyce, but wasn’t sure if he was ready for a relationship (even though he’s the one who aggressively pushed it).  He then told Joyce that he wanted to still see her, but he couldn’t promise anything.  He might not always be there, be he would try, is how he spun it.

But in reality Steve wasn’t confused at all.  He simply pretended to be to confuse Joyce.  This is intended to create the illusion that he’s a man struggling to figure things out, work through his pain, past issues and baggage, and  today’s uncertainty.  However, those premises are entirely false.  He knew exactly what he wanted, which was to have Joyce in a non-committal relationship simply as a sexual partner.  So he pretended to be taking her to the moon, when in actuality, he wasn’t really taking her anywhere, to lure her in. The truth is that Steve has always been selfish, non-committal, and unfaithful – not searching his soul for answers and clarity to perplexing relationship issues.

Joyce bought into this initially, but she chose to not deny this red flag, and eventually cut Steve off for good.  For a while after she terminated the involvement, he called and tried to sweet talk her, but she caught on to who and what he was, thankfully. The push me, pull me relationship doesn’t only happen in romance, but also in any type of relationship, including friendship.  And just because it’s not romantic, doesn’t mean that the effects would be any less powerful.

Cheryl and Joan worked together, and had the same interests in art museums and movies.  Cheryl would ask Joan to go to an art museum showing, followed by a movie, but Cheryl soon came to realize that she couldn’t always depend on Joan.  Some of the time Joan would go, then other times, she’d back out at the last minute for no apparent reason. Cheryl tried to be understanding and flexible, but after a few months, this red flag was undeniable.  She couldn’t take it anymore.  So she decided to address this issue with Joan.

Joan became hostile and defensive when she responded: “I am an adult and have the freedom to live my life the way I choose.  I don’t owe you an explanation for my choices.”  However, this wasn’t about freedom and being who you are.  Joan’s actions were about selfishness, taking Cheryl for granted, and having it both ways. Joan wanted to be in control and follow through with plans when she wanted to, or simply blow them off if that suited her. 

Since Joan refused to meet Cheryl half way, she didn’t know what to do.  After all, she also worked with Joan, and didn’t want to create a huge problem.  It really hurt Cheryl’s feelings, as she thought she had made a real friend – not a fair weather acquaintance.  So as hurt as she was, she decided to gently fade away from Joan, a little at a time.  Joan still wanted to engage Cheryl in activities from time to time, but she was always busy or had things to take care of.

Those such as Steve and Joan are trying to use mixed signals as a way to control, limit, and define the relationship – in a selfish, inconsiderate way, solely on their terms.  There is no confusion or struggle within them.  They know the game and how to play it.  This is a huge power trip as they decide when and how things will be done.  With push me, pull me it’s always about them – not about you, regardless of how it is presented. 

You may feel wanted, needed, or important, but you’ll only be a vehicle for the other person’s gratification, duplicity, narcissism, and inconsistency in that most dreadful reality we’ve probably all been through of “push me, pull me.”  However, it is up to us as to whether we cut our ties, or stay in situations that have been shown to be negative to us.  When we walk away, we save ourselves literally from horrific life altering consequences that can affect our entire journey irrevocably.

Keep in mind that in Part 1 of “10 Undeniable Red Flags,” I intended to show that we can avoid negative and toxic relationships.  There’s no one or nothing up in the sky setting us up for a fall and for punishment.  It is us who makes these choices to accept an involvement with someone who will hurt us.  However, the red flags are always there for us to see: sometimes immediately, or within a reasonable amount of time so we can extricate ourselves from a bad situation.  It is up to us what we do with the red flags that come to us as a supreme gift from the divine universe that forever tries to watch over us, protect us, and guide us.  In the next entry, I will conclude this two part article. 

If you are interested in having a reading with Jim1537, click here.

With the hustle, bustle, stress and pressures of the holidays almost behind us, we’re finally now coming into the New Year.  And yes, wouldn’t it be nice for all of us to come up with a great New Year’s Resolution – and better yet, carry it out? 

However, even with good intentions, here are some of the biggest mistakes we make with our New Year’s Resolutions:

1-We state a resolution merely as a lark.  At a party, or as a fun and festive declaration, we make a resolution that is forgotten about or dismissed rather quickly.

2-We get so caught up in the stresses and pressures of the holidays that we forget to plan out a resolution for the coming year, so it gets lost in the shuffle.

3-We try to literally fix everything in our lives all at once:  love life, money, career, health, etc.  By taking on too much, we get overwhelmed, and nothing gets accomplished.

This New Year, ask yourself, “What is the one area of my life that would make the biggest and most positive change for the better?”  Remember, we’re speaking of only one area, and nothing more!  As we tend to get so bogged down in the confusion of all we’re dealing with, we don’t stop and realize just how one thing can truly make such a difference in our lives.

Put some thought into determining that one area of your life that if changed for the better, would have the most positive and profound impact on 2009 by doing the following:

1-Probe into what area of your life that actually is.  Give it serious thought and consideration.  Don’t just go with the first thing that comes to your mind.  Make a list of five to ten possible areas of concern.  Then, narrow it down to two to three, and see which area remains the one that continues to stand out as the most beneficial to change.

2-Ask yourself what the problem is.  How can you fix something if you don’t know what it is that needs to be fixed?  When we’re in the dark regarding a problem area of our lives, we can’t be effective in knowing what to do, and how to make a plan of action.  If you’re a woman who has not been successful in love, you need to ask the following:  “What kind of men am I attracted to?  Are they good or bad for me?  Why am I not interested in those who want a real relationship with me?  Why am I attracting nobody?”

3-Determine how to fix it.  In doing so, you need to look beneath the surface.  You must get to the bottom of the issue, and not just try to alleviate the symptoms.  Let’s say, if your health isn’t doing well, figure out why this has occurred. What if you kept taking Vicodin for severe headaches?  Sure, it relieved the pain, but never allowed you to get the core of what was causing the headaches, which could be quite serious.

Remember; where there is an effect (the problem) there is always a cause (what actually created the problem).  We must look at the origin and core of the issue, as that is the only way to really create meaningful and lasting change.

There are always two dynamics of a problem that need to be looked at to come up with a successful plan:

1-The external issues.  If it’s money, and you’re late on your credit card bills, you would be receiving past due notices in the mail.  This is just one instance of how the externals are pretty easy to determine, as they’re right there for the naked eye to see.  By looking at the late statements, it’s clear that you have to pay the minimum amount indicated, or call the credit card company to make some type of payment arrangements. 

Regarding the external issues of romantic relationships, here are some questions to help bring clarity:  “Where do I go to meet people who are like minded?  How do I put myself out there in a positive and productive way?”

2-The internal issues.  Determining the internal issues is much more problematic, complicated, and difficult to come to terms with.  It is presumable that we have helped to create our own problems, and that who we are and where we’re at internally is a huge part of that process.  Usually, the external problem merely mirrors what is going on within us.  We project outward where we’re at within, and that helps to manifest what we perceive as reality; thus, our external issues.

We need to ask ourselves, “Why am I doing the things I’m doing?  What is motivating me?  What’s the payoff and reward for my behavior?”  By understanding what “makes us tick,” we can begin to get a grasp of how to heal the internal issues behind our problems.

Make sure to not get sidetracked by defense mechanisms, or sub problems, and don’t let your energies get scattered in the process:

1-Our defense mechanisms will always try and protect us from what we fear as a form of survival.  If your fear is that you believe that loving someone would trap and imprison you, you’ll do everything you can to avoid intimacy and a potentially successful relationship.  If you’re trying to manifest love in 2009 and have this problem, it would be important to work on this one area regarding your love life.  By staying on point, and not getting thrown off track by your defense mechanisms, you can change your romantic forecast for the better this year.

In this instance, getting sidetracked would involve dating people who are unattainable, and/or married, and not open to a real relationship.  Allowing yourself to get involved with someone who reinforces your already existing fears only strengthens those fears and defense mechanisms.  This takes you further away from your goals.

2-Sub problems can be a distraction.  If you’re trying to lose weight, a sub problem would be to worry if you’re ever going to be able to fit into a certain outfit that you just saw in a store, and getting preoccupied over it.  Remember, that particular outfit is not relevant at this time.  Work on losing the inches and pounds, knowing that the goal is to be healthy and at your proper weight.  By manifesting that, everything else regarding fashion and appearance will fall into place.

3-Getting scattered is easy to do.  If you’re working on painting and redecorating a room in your house as your New Year’s resolution, getting distracted by things that come up, or being wrapped up into other people’s issues is a perfect way of avoiding completing your tasks.  “I know I should be painting today, but my best friend was upset with her husband, so she needed to talk.  I know I didn’t get anything done today, but there’s always tomorrow,” Jenny says.

But in reality, Jenny didn’t work on the room tomorrow.  As she was emotionally and internally looking for a way to procrastinate, her friend’s issue with her husband provided the perfect escape – and scapegoat.  Therefore, Jenny didn’t finish the room, and it sat there for several months until she finally got back into the swing of getting it painted and redecorated.  It actually took Jenny’s husband pushing and prodding her to get the room completed.

Since a part of us will resist wanting to stay with things, as it isn’t accomplished overnight, it’s easy to get scattered and lose our focus.  This is where we need to make the commitment that our priority is to stay with the plan, and not deviate from it.  Remember; don’t get bogged down by other people’s stuff, or situations that allow you to escape what you’ve planned to do.  Running away is always so easy to do. 

Engage a support system through family, friends, online forums and supportive articles on the Internet.  In addition, try to be your own support system:

1-Reward yourself for your achievements regarding your New Year’s resolution!  Treat yourself to a dinner, a new outfit, or a fun gift to signify various levels of manifesting your goals.  Do something nice for you, as that creates a win-win situation, where you know that your achievements bring about a reward for you.

2-Review your progress periodically – let’s say, every 1-3 months.  As we’re changing the one most important area of our lives, it can sometimes seem like we’re in the middle of a never ending journey.  When it feels overwhelming, it’s easy to put it aside, or merely give up.  By checking your progress periodically, you’ll receive the motivation you need to keep on going.

3-Be patient.  Never forget that this is the most important problem in your life that you’re in the process of fixing.  Therefore, it won’t be accomplished quickly and easily in one fell swoop.  Fixing that one biggest problem takes effort, patience, consistency, and due diligence.  Stay with it!  Just take it one day at a time, and don’t discount how important the small, consistent day by day steps are. 

It is now time to make this New Year and the age old concept of “What’s your New Year’s resolution” work for us.  Here’s how:

Don’t fall for the old traps.  But rather, stay focused on that one most important area of your life that needs to be changed, as doing just that literally transforms every single aspect of your journey.  Never think that since it’s only one area of your life, that it only impacts that single area – as it is literally changing everything in a most wonderful way!  It is a domino effect, as what you do with your money, health, love life, or in any area, impacts on all parts of your journey irrevocably. 

Don’t forget…:

If you fix your money situation, your improved self worth and sense of prosperity will radiate from within you throughout the universe.  This brings back unlimited blessings, including everyone treating you better because you feel better about you!  It also impacts positively in all levels of your life – as prosperity creates a tremendously good all around energy. 

Fixing your career allows you to work in a way that facilitates your divine calling and your unique genius.  By utilizing your irreplaceable one of a kind gifts and talents, you vibrate to an energy of success, fulfillment, and your true calling.  The world will then acknowledge you, and respect you.  Through fulfilling this part of your destiny, you help others, and bring back all the good that is afforded you in multiple ways — and this all happens from merely fixing just one area of your life!

Let’s set it into motion, right here, right now, and achieve just one thing — that most important thing for 2009.  Discover what it is, tackle it with joyful glee, and don’t give up.  You must stay with it till it’s fixed!  And this very year (not at some indefinite point way off in the future), you will bring about the life altering change for the better that your mind, heart and spirit have been longing for.

If you are interested in having a reading with Jim1537, click here.

 Our dreams say so much – yet sometimes we think that they say so little. “Oh, I just had a nightmare, which doesn’t mean anything.  I’ve got to get to work,” a man in a hurry to get to the office says.  Yet our dreams are a pathway to messages, understanding and even transcendent spiritual wisdom.  Many great visionaries and geniuses receive their visions in a dream.  Einstein, for instance, freely admitted that The Theory Of Relativity was not “his,” but that it came to him in a dream.

Yet, how many of us work with our dreams, yet alone even remember them.  Whether personal messages, problems we’re trying to solve at a deeper level, or literally seeing something as it may exactly unfold in the physical world, dreams are a mirror of the soul and a source of higher communication.  Below, I would like to begin to offer some tools of awareness for the very profound, yet often neglected process of dreaming and what it really means to us.

The Process Of Our Minds And Dreaming

Below, I would like to explain the different levels of our functioning minds and how that relates to sleep and dreaming.  It is now established through research that when we begin our sleep cycle, that we actually drift from our awake state of consciousness, Beta, rather quickly to Alpha, which is more of a light sleep, then through the deep sleep of Theta and on to Delta, our deepest level of sleep. 

About 90 minutes later, we drift upward above Theta into the Alpha levels.  Our bodies then lay rather still, as if we’re viewing something in front of us, while our eyes being to move rapidly beneath our eyelids.  This, of course, is called Rapid Eye Movement or REM.  At this stage is where our dreams take place.  After one to four minutes, the mind drifts back again into the Delta level only to repeat this process, with variations at ninety minute intervals all through the night.  This gives us each about 4-6 dreams per night, which is far more than most of us probably think that we dream!

Beta – This is our waking state, the state that is our conscious level as in going about our daily lives.  The Beta level represents our cognitive mind functions, say as in driving a car or getting dressed.  For lack of a better term, Beta can be referred to as our rational mental process.

Alpha - There are varying levels of the Alpha state, with the first being where the body is relaxed but the mind is still quite alert.  Then there is the level of being sort of in a twilight mode, where ESP and psychic flashes occur quite strongly and accurately.  Then, slightly deeper is the light sleep associated with meditation, trance and hypnotic levels. It is at this hypnotic level that REM, rapid eye movement occurs as we’re dreaming.  Often, we experience the twilight state mentioned above when we first wake up; we’re sort of here, (the physical world) yet we’re still sort of there, as in our dream world. 

Theta – This is the next level down, a stage of deep sleep where there is a type of dreaming referred to by scientists as non-REM or NREM.

Delta – Here is the deepest stage of all sleep and this is where physical body repairs are done. This level is highly therapeutic where extensive physical repairs and restoration actually occurs.  This could even clarify and shed light on the aging process in the elderly, since are bodies are said to renew themselves every night.  With this concept in mind, there may be no reason for any of us to age.  Since the elderly tend to be light sleepers, the lack of Delta sleep may actually explain the appearance of aging, which is perhaps, an illusion.  With the concept that we were are all created in God’s supreme and perfect image, ageless, timeless and permanently perfect, aging may merely be an illusion. 

Types Of Dreams

There are so many types of dreams, with multiple purposes and sometimes, what we may think is a dream is actually not.  Below, I will chronicle the various dreams we all experience and what they mean to us as individuals, and also shed light on what we typically think is a dream, but is reality, is something entirely different.

Pre Cognitive

A pre cognitive dream is showing you something, en event, an occurrence or experience that may indeed happen in the physical world, similar or exactly to as it is seen in the dream.  It could be called a psychic dream, in a sense.  With a pre cognitive dream, it can serve many purposes; showing you something so you are aware it may or will happen, so you can change it, or at the very least, be prepared to deal with it.  Precognitive dreams are spiritual in nature, as you’re seeing something first which occurs in the spiritual realms, before it drops down to the lower level of the physical plane, where we experience it as “reality.”  Some people are scared of these types of dreams, however, one never should be.  Two things again are in play; you’re having and remembering the dream because you’re supposed to.  You may be able to legitimately change it, so if it is bad, it can be prevented, but at the very least, you’re psychologically and emotionally prepared, even if it cannot be changed.

Here is an example of a pre cognitive dream that can be changed: John has a vivid dream where he sees his friend Susan in a serious car accident, that day, at around noon on a certain street.  John informs Susan that he had this dream and advises her not to drive on that street around that time and preferably, not drive at all on that particular day.  Susan heeds John’s warning and therefore, avoids the accident that was given to John through the dream as a warning, not as an immutable event written in stone.

Reoccurring Dreams

I think most of us have had a reoccurring dream for years, perhaps, decades.  I, myself, to this day, keep having a reoccurring dream of being in my senior year in high school, but by the end of the year, I can’t seem to graduate.  When we have this type of dream, it means that there is an issue within our consciousness that must be worked through and resolved.  It will keep coming to us until we’ve moved past the issue, which presents itself repeatedly in our dreams.  Don’t consider this to be an obstacle or stumbling block, but rather, an opportunity for growth where our dreams are showing us what work still needs to be done.  By healing the underlying issue, we are able to move forward with our respective journeys.

Symbolic Dream

Here, we see symbols, pictures and scenes that on the surface don’t make literal sense to us and may even seem surreal.  Symbolic dreams speak to us in code, sort of like Morse code.  One needs to determine what the symbols mean and sort out the messages and images of the dream.  It’s sort of like solving a riddle, or putting together a puzzle. These dreams are trying to communicate information and messages to us but we have to figure out what is being given to us.

For example: A spider that is green that changes to being red is climbing on the wall, then it starts to fly and changes into a smiling baby.  Now let me offer an interpretation for this dream:  The spider may represent something that is sneaky, insidious, poisonous and toxic (represented by the nature of spiders who can possess a venomous bite) which calls attention to a circumstance or situation that may be of this nature in the person’s life who had this dream.  The fact that the spider is green, then changes to red, can indicate the sense of “go” then “stop” as in traffic lights – green, of course meaning go, as in go ahead with something or that something is moving forward in one’s life, while red would indicate stopping, or something coming to a halt.  So, the situation, (negative) represented by the spider is moving forward in the life of the person who had this dream, but then it stops.  The fact that the spider is climbing the wall can indicate that the negative conditions represented by the spider that have stopped are now climbing higher or gaining momentum. Then, the spider begins to fly, which means that this situation it “taking off,” “lifting off,” and beginning to have wings.  When the spider changes into a smiling baby, it indicated that whatever negative situation that was occurring changes into something new (represented by a baby) and pleasant, as the baby was smiling.  As the conclusion of whatever the dream represents ends with a sense of a positive new beginning from something that ultimately seemed toxic, perhaps deadly.  It was going, then stopping, than lifting off and taking off and ultimately changes itself into something of a new and positive beginning.

Lucid Dreaming

Lucid dreaming means dreaming while actually knowing that you are indeed dreaming.  The term was coined by Frederik van Eeden who used the word “lucid” in the sense of mental clarity, meaning you mentally know that you are dreaming while doing so. Lucidity usually begins in the midst of a dream when the person realizes that they are not in physical reality, but are in a dream. Often this realization is triggered by the dreamer noticing some unlikely occurrence in the dream, such as flying.  Sometimes people become lucid without noticing any particular clue in the dream; they just suddenly realize they are in a dream.

The basic definition of lucid dreaming requires nothing more than becoming aware that you are dreaming. However, the quality of lucidity can vary greatly. When lucidity is at a high level, you are aware that everything experienced in the dream is occurring in a dream.  With low-level lucidity you may be aware to a certain extent that you are dreaming, but not enough to completely realize that you’re asleep at that time.

Nightmares

Nightmares are often like a person who shouts above everyone in the room so they will be heard.  Nightmares often come through in a way that is similar to a horror movie, so we are shocked in a sense into remembering this type of dream and looking at it.  We often will take note and analyze it because it startled and scared us.  Frequently, the message of the nightmare is not morose and morbid, such as being thrown off of a tall building, but something we simply need to take heed of and listen to.  Nightmares are not usually predictive or pre cognitive, but represent what you really need to take a look at – something that is truly bothering you.  What the nightmare is about, say, being murdered or burned in a fire, for example, is not really at all what the you’re suppose to look at as a conclusion to the meaning of the dream.  It is sort of like a shocking headline to a news story – it is designed to grab your attention, so you can actually look at the underlying content to really understand the story – i.e. the dream.

Garbage Dreams

Like somebody belching, garbage dreams are often the rumblings of our subconscious mind that need to vent, release or simply be acknowledged.  Often, these types of dreams don’t have a lot of clarity or clear message to interpret and may be there as a form of our own internal overload being released. Frequently convoluted and messy, these type of dreams are sort of like taking many conflicting ingredients and tossing them all into a blender and mixing them all up.

What We Think Are Dreams But Aren’t

Because we’re asleep, we may think that everything that occurs for us is a dream.  In actuality, many things happen when we’re asleep, besides dreaming even though we perceive these experiences as dreams, and here, I would like to explore some of those fascinating realities.

Astral Projection

Astral projection simply stated, is when our spiritual selves leave our physical body and travel through the spiritual realms to see, learn, experience, gain knowledge and to preview what may come into our earthly existences.  Every night when we sleep, especially if we have a full night’s sleep, we leave out bodies this way and astral travel, accompanied by our spiritual teachers and guides.   With astral projection, we embark on a fascinating journey of learning, exploring and viewing; places, events and possibilities to occur in our earthly realm.  Our teachers and spiritual guides lead us where we need to go to learn, protect us from making a wrong turn, (as in going somewhere we should not go to) as well as keep us safe.  When astral traveling, we are connected to our physical bodies by a silver cord that keeps us connected to our physical bodies at the base of our spines.

An example of astral projection that we may have thought of as a dream, is the sensation of flying above a city, seeing it, observing it while in our sleep cycle.  Another instance would be where you see yourself moving about a place that seems foreign to you, but at the same time, appears totally real.  If you’ve ever been jolted out of sleep, say by a loud noise, you might feel unsettled in your body, as if somehow, you’ve been twisted in knots.  That could very well be that you were jerked back into you physical body abruptly from astral projecting, therefore, you feel not put together right somehow, or contorted in a way, almost like wearing a size 6 shoe when you have a size 7 foot.

Dreaming Of Passed On Loved Ones

Often, people who are not open to receive communication and messages from loved ones on the other side dream of these loved ones.  If one’s defense mechanisms are set up in such a way to not believe their loved ones who are passed on can or would contact them, they need to be in a dream state to receive such messages.  While dreaming, their defenses and internal barriers are relaxed enough, so an open channel occurs for their transitioned loved ones to indeed come through.  In most instances, these are real communications from the other side.  Even if the messages are not totally clear, loved ones who have passed are often trying to come through.  It’s important to listen to what these dreams are saying, as often, their value can be of tremendous healing and help to those of us who are still here.

Going To School

We all go to school in our sleep cycles, where we are the student of an instructor, a master teacher.  Also, we may have more than one instructor, depending on what we’re in the process of learning at any given time.  Sometimes we are taught individually while other times we sit in a classroom with those who are also going through the same lessons and learning as we are.  From tackling our earthly problems, to spiritually based instruction, anything we may need to learn is taught to us in the higher planes while we are asleep.  This gives a whole different meaning to the term, night school. (LOL)  Here, though, we see that it is not a dream we’re experiencing, but rather, being in a spiritual school.  We may not always know consciously what we’re learning here, but what we learn in school is absorbed by us on a deep internal spiritual level, which through time, filters up through us to ultimately, our conscious minds and becomes assimilated.

Problem Solving

While asleep, our minds stay busy at work, finding solutions and searching for answers to whatever our challenges may be at the current time.  Whether working to repairs to our bodies, finding the right way to deal with a work related conflict or coming up with a perspective on a family matter, our higher minds are in a state of regular problem solving while our bodies lay in rest.  Since the mind never stops working, this is just another realm and reality of the tremendous power of our minds – so much more that most of us ever think.

Programming to have a dream to answer a question

Often, we just can’t find the answers we’re looking for in our awake state.  We need to look to our higher minds, where transcendent knowledge is ever present.  In this mode, we program ourselves to have a dream that answers our question.  Just like giving an assignment or a task to someone working on our behalf, they undertake this request and begin working on it.  The reason I say, begin working on it, is because often, it takes time to have a question answered through a dream.  In the same way a person working on a task may take days, weeks, potentially even longer to come up with a solution, the same thing occurs when we program our minds to resolve a question through a dream.  Be patient once you have done this!  Also, you can repeat the command to reinforce to your mind what you want it to do via your dreams to solve whatever issue is at hand!  Sometimes, the answers come in a very startling, surprising way – out of the blue.  Be prepared, though, as your question will be answered. 

Divine Inspiration

Many a great artist or inventor receives their creations from the other side while asleep.  What may be thought of as a dream is an actual channeling of divine work (paintings, inventions, songs) from the Godhead directly.  When these creations are given to any of is, they are a supreme gift from higher awareness and genius, for us to bring through into the physical realm, to be shared with the collective of this world.  Often, these individuals will awake with a work of art completed or nearly completed, as if is just is.  That is because it does already exist in the spiritual realms, and we, as individuals channel such work through our minds, abilities and talent into manifestations here.

Understanding and Interpreting Your Dreams

There are two aspects of dream interpretation; the personal and the universal.  There are some symbols that may be considered universal – that represent our collective, joined consciousness, such as water representing emotions in a dream. If you have a dream where it’s raining on you, this can indicate the present of intense emotions you’re going through regarding something in your life.  If you see a lake, and you’re in it, this can represent that you’re feeling consumed by a lot of emotion. 

However, the personal aspect of dream interpretation is far more important and relevant.  What does a dream mean to you?  It doesn’t matter if the symbol of a lion, let’s say, which would represent strength and courage to most, means something completely different to you.  What if you had been attacked by a lion at some point in your life? Then, a lion appearing in your dream would mean something entirely different to you then for someone who had never had that experience.  What you feel personally about understanding your dream trumps and overrides what is considered to be universal.  For example, seeing Jesus and assuming it means a spiritual and loving presence may not apply to an atheist.  Therefore, it would indicate something different to that person.  Always, ask yourself, what does this dream and its parts mean to me?  Connect the dots, piece by piece, if you have to.  You will figure it all out!

Here are some tools for interpreting and understanding your dreams:

If you don’t remember your dreams, say this affirmation, which will help you to recall your dreams:  “I now remember my dreams as I am supposed to, giving me the information I need to make my life and the lives of those around me better!”

Remember, not recalling your dreams means that some part of you is blocking what your dreams are – in a sense, being shut down and closed off.  Learning to open this channel within is like plugging the phone in to receive phone calls that have been trying to get through to you.  There are many relevant messages waiting!

As you remember your dreams, write them down.  Keep a dream notebook or journal and make sure to write down what you dream.  Preferably, keep this pad and pencil or pen next to your bed, so you can take note of your dreams when you first awake.  Often, the details of a dream fade from consciousness rather quickly, so grab it while it’s hot, so to speak.

Dreams speak to us on many levels.  For example, you can look at any dream as you being all people in that dream.  Different people can represent different parts of your consciousness as well as different feelings and aspects of what you’re going through.  For example, if you dream of your Mom, your Dad, your brother and a co worker, here is a way to view this:  Your Mom can represent the nurturing maternal part of you, your Dad can represent the masculine and assertive aspect of your energies, your brother can represent your internal sense of support and being your own ally, while a co-worker can indicate the feeling of working with yourself as in internal teamwork.  Even if the dream consists of multiple people doing many things, you can be seen as all people in your dream doing all things, and interpret from that vantage point.  Think of it that the different people and actions in a dream represent different parts of you and your varying reactions and actions that you may feel and / or do.

If you’re not sure what a dream is saying to you after you write it down, run it by a friend.  Someone who understands you will be able to help piece together what the dream is saying, as they know your uniqueness and can see the dream more objectively.

Program your mind to tell you what a dream means to you.  The answers will come, often, when least expected and in a flash.  Here is a good affirmation:  “My higher mind clearly shows me what my dreams mean to me in ways that are completely understandable and clear.”

Also, if you’re having a problem that you just can’t seem to solve in your awake state, program your dreams to do the work and give you the answer!  Here is a good affirmation: “My dreams now solve the problem at hand, giving me clear answers immediately!”

Don’t worry – the answers will come. Also, reading different books on dream interpretation can be helpful.  One of the best is Wilda Tanner’s The Mystical, Magical, Marvelous World of Dreams.

All in all, dreams are a divine tool for transformation, growth, enlightenment and higher understanding – one which most of us, unfortunately neglect or only deal with ever so randomly.  Make exploring and understanding your dreams as important as what you put your mind to when you’re awake.  After all, approximately one third of our lives are spent sleeping and there is a great treasure of knowledge and insight in our sleep and the mysterious pathway to transcendent understanding known as our dreams.  Dream speak to us – a voice from within and far beyond, giving us awareness, insight, knowledge and a preview of all that is to come.  It is said that nothing happens in our lives – nothing at all, without us first previewing it, seeing it in our sleep and dream cycles and accepting it.  Learn to listen and take heed of your dreams and all that they mean, as you will then know so much more that is and what is to potentially come.

If you are interested in having a reading with Jim1537, click here.

It’s a classic spiritual and religious image; one we’ve all witnessed in person or seen in a movie, photo, greeting card or television show — a row of burning candles in a church glowing against a more subdued background — the presence of the eternal flame of the prayers of those who light these candles, all with their personal petitions to God. The divine flame that reaches to the heavens and propels our prayers to the Godhead; in a sense – igniting our thoughts and wishes!

Candle burning is an ancient practice in both the conventional religious sense and in esoteric spiritual practices. Almost everyone who lights a candle has an intention in mind – whether to perhaps heal a loved one or manifest a blessing, candles become the externalized fire that represents the internal inner flame of our immutable spirit.

I remember as a boy seeing the candles in the Catholic Church I was raised in and feeling the hypnotic sense of getting lost in the flame – gazing and mentally morphing into the fire in a slow, trance like fashion, as if to lose myself in the glow. As I became spiritually trained later down the road, I learned that candles serve a highly valuable purpose in us manifesting – not just in an abstract way, but quite literally!

A Matter Of Principle

Candle burning can be a wonderful tool for manifesting great positive blessings for any of us. It’s unfortunate though, that candle burning sometimes has a bad reputation. I would like to caution those of you who don’t know what to watch out for regarding candle burning, as most of us who have been taken advantage of in this type of situation, were at a vulnerable point in our lives. Sometimes, certain unethical readers exploit clients regarding the potentially very positive use of candle burning.

“Oh, I have special anointed candles and I will burn them for you under very unique circumstances,” a reader says to a client. “Well, how much will it cost,” the client questions? “Well, I hate to charge for something that is spiritual and directly from God, but it does take a lot of time,” the reader says. “Well, I really want my boyfriend back and you promised that you CAN reunite us,” the client affirms. “How much will it be?” “I would have to say about five thousand dollars,” the reader says. “I really can’t afford it, but I must have my boyfriend back,” the client decides. “OK then, I’ll come up with the money.” “You’ll be very happy, honey, with the end results,” the psychic promises.

As you’re reading the exchange above, I’m sure you’re asking yourself, “Does this type of thing really happen?” The answer is yes, it sometimes does. Some of you may have been victimized by such scams yourself. Also, don’t just think it’s the initial five thousand dollars that covers the entire bill. Presumably, more candles need to be burned, at increasingly higher costs – “The woman he’s with is manipulating him to stay away from coming back to you – I’m having visions of this! We must do something more powerful — It will take everything I have and I don’t want to charge you, but I really need ten thousand dollars to bring him back to you,” the psychic emphasizes. Of course, eventually, this type of rip off crashes and burns, (pardon the pun) with the client left in financial disarray and shattered dreams.

Remember, if money is involved, be extremely careful. Some ethical psychics may charge a reasonable amount of money to burn a candle for you, but the cost must be fair, with no hidden charges. Some very caring readers will burn candles on your behalf and for your loved ones for free with no costs whatsoever, as part of offering their services to you. This can be a wonderful gift. However, if there are large sums of money involved, run the other way.

The Rules

First, you can always burn candles for yourself, which I’ll explain ‘how to” below. However, there are certain circumstances where someone else can burn a candle for you. If you’re afraid or emotionally charged in a negative way about something, it may be better to have someone else light the candle for you. Why? If you have fear and negative energy regarding an area of your life, say finding the right lover, you’ll very potentially send out that fear when you, yourself light the candle, which brings back to you exactly what you don’t want. If you’re not centered about something, them another individual may be more beneficial to burn the candle for you, such as a trusted loved one, or an ethical psychic or spiritual person.

Secondly, it is bad karma to use candle burning to attempt to manipulate the free will of another as mentioned above. It doesn’t matter what you may be feeling, or how intense the emotions are, or what the spiritual rationalizations may be – trying to twist someone’s arm metaphysically creates negative karma for all participating in such an act. You should use candle burning to bring in the blessings that are yours by divine right, not encroaching on someone else’s life or their choices.

The Divine Gift of Candle Burning

Candle burning, if used properly, is a wonderful tool from the divine universe, as a gift to us – to help us manifest our positive dreams – not dreams that interfere with the lives of others. We deserve blessings, but not at the expense of others or ourselves. Below, I would love to share with you the ancient practice of candle burning and the simple instructions and “how to’s” to use candles to assist you in manifesting your highest blessings, with no negative consequences! Whether career, love, health or a variety of other dreams, I would love to share with you the reality of what candles can do for you!

How To

First, it’s important to know the “how to’s” about candle burning. Even though these instructions are not tedious and labor some, (say as in assembling a bicycle) the guidelines are important, so please follow! Once you’ve lit a candle, always let the candle burn to the bottom and let it to go out on its own. Why? Burning a candle is a prayer – literally. Imagine if you were in the middle of saying a prayer and suddenly you abruptly stopped mid sentence – “I now affirm that God brings me t…” That prayer would not be finished, so it wouldn’t be a completed request to spirit! Therefore, it is of utmost importance to burn your candle all the way to the bottom to complete your petition to the divine universe. If you can’t leave a candle continuing to burn to the bottom because of safety reasons, then get a small little votive candle that only lasts for a few hours till it goes out on its own. A less positive option and one to use only if you have to, is to pinch the flame gently or snuff the candle. This is not the best thing to do, but if in a rare instance you have to, do so, but don’t make a regular practice out of it. Then you can relight the candle later.

The intent, the purpose for which you’re burning the candle and focusing such intent, is critical. As you prepare to light your candle, tune out all thoughts other that the desire you’re trying to manifest. Focus this end goal in your mind’s eye. As you ignite the candle, focus on the flame and hold that thought clearly in your mind and see that thought becoming one with the flame.

Some people like to “dress” their candles by anointing them with oil. The oil is rubbed into the candle wax and as you anoint your candle, you’re thinking of the purpose for which this candle will be burned. Most metaphysical bookstores, sell both oil and candles, and many of them will dress your candle for you for free.

You are always better to start off with one candle and progress from there. When beginning to manifest through candle burning, one candle, which represents one prayer – one thought – one desire, is something that we can all grasp. It allows you to focus on one thing at a time, focusing all of your energy in that area. You never need to burn more than one candle of the same color at any given time. If you’re burning a white candle, for example, lighting multiple white candles does not make your candle prayer stronger or more effective.

Regarding multiple candles of different colors, (for example: pink, gold and blue) you can sometimes burn more than one candle, but I would recommend starting with just one color in the beginning. Once you’ve began manifesting from the one candle, (this may take multiple candles of the same color, one at a time, over a period of time) you can then do two candles, then move on to perhaps, three. However, I would not recommend to ever go above five different candles burning at the same time.

Also, certain colors of candle wax go together and others don’t from a spiritual perspective. The reason I say wax, is because it is the color of the actual candle wax that determines the “color” of the candle. Each color has a different manifestation / manifestations in your life. Below, I will explain what colors work together – and want colors cancel each other out and are not to be burned at the same time. As far as how long to stay with burning candles, that is entirely up to you. I have been burning candles on and off for over twenty years. A good rule of thumb, though, is to minimally try burning the same candle or combination of candles for at least one month straight if you’re trying to manifest something into your life.

What if you light a candle and it burns for a short while, then goes out on its own before burning all the way down to the bottom? Should you light it again? No you should not. This simply means that the energy and prayer is complete, so the candle went out on its own, as no more energy from the flame is needed to manifest what you’re trying to bring into your journey!

Colors

First, it is important to not burn red or black candles. Some psychics may disagree, but I highly advise you to never burn a red or a black candle. Let me explain why! Some will tell you that red represents passion, hot sex and intense romance. What they fail to also tell you, though, is that a red candle can also bring violent sex, such as rape, an explosive, volatile and dangerous romantic partner and physical violence to you. Also, it is not a good idea to burn red candles for the Christmas holidays, as the divine universe doesn’t make an exception to the significance of the candle color, even for holidays.

With a black candle, it represents evil. Some psychics will say to burn a black candle to negate negativity – to counter attack evil. I absolutely disagree. It’s like saying to do more cocaine to stop cocaine dealers in your neighborhood from dealing drugs. Burning a black candle will summons evil energy and dark entities and even though you may think that you can direct this darkness in the way you want to, it is not so! It would be like saying that you can invite an alley rat into your home and somehow direct this creature to carry out your wishes and commands.

The colors that you should burn are mentioned below. It’s important to know the correlation between the color of the candle wax you’re burning and what these colors mean from a spiritual perspective. What areas of your life will be benefited from the color of the candle you light? Since each color affects different areas of your journey, below is a guide as to what each color represents metaphysically, what these colors can do for you, when to use such a candle and which candles are compatible with each other:

WHITE:
Manifests: Pure divine spiritual energy – Spiritual cleansing and healing – The presence of God’s sacred purity.
When to use: To get rid of negative spiritual energy – To spiritually cleanse your home of negative spirits and neutralize evil in your life – To being about a higher vibration of pure divine love – General healing.
Goes with: Any colors but green and brown.

YELLOW:
Manifests: Represents creativity and intelligence – Connects to clairvoyance, cosmic wisdom and learning – The power of the mind.
When to use: To enhance creative energy – Promotes insight and inner wisdom – Strengthens the mind.
Goes with: All colors.

ORANGE:
Manifests: Very good for healing coughs, colds and asthma as well as arthritis and exhaustion – Promotes personal strength, authority and power.
When to use: For any respiratory healing – Creates enthusiastic energy when needed.
Goes with: All colors.

GOLD:
Manifests: Physical safety – Takes away negativity in the physical sense between people — Brings about overall success – Good for legal issues.
When to use: When there is tension, bad blood, or disputes between people – Brings overall success in one’s life and physical safety – Creates physical peace between rival parties – Promotes positive legal outcomes.
Goes with: All colors

PINK:
Manifests: Happy times – Pleasantness – Wonderful new people – A soul mate relationship – Brings everything to its highest good in your life.
When to use: To bring in your divine romantic life partner, positive people and “up” times – Creates an overall sense of everything in your life manifesting for its highest good.
Goes with: All colors

GREEN:
Manifests: Money
When to use: When needing to manifest money.
Goes with: All colors except White.

BROWN:
Manifests: Career
When to use: When looking for a new job – Promotes advancement in your work situation – To manifest a better career in general.
Goes with: All colors except White.

BLUE:
Manifests: A peaceful home – Centered emotions – Physical health and healing.
When to use: When needing to bring peace and safety to your home – Promotes centered emotions – Creates overall physical health.
Goes with: All colors

LAVENDER/PURPLE:
Manifests: A deeper connection spiritually, especially when meditating.
When to use: For meditating – Entering a deeper inner spiritual level within – Enhances the cosmic connection.
Goes with: All colors

A little note! You might wonder why a white candle doesn’t go with green or brown. The answer is clear. White represents pure divine spirit, transcendent of the material plane, while brown and green represent the material plane. White is cheapened and compromised by being burnt with brown or green and should not be done!

Here’s a little example of how to mix colors:
If you were wishing to manifest money and also wanted a new career, you would burn a brown and green candle together. In fact, brown and green go extremely well together, like a hamburger and fries. In addition, you may wish to bring about more success in your life. You can add a gold candle in as well and you would be burning three candles at the same time.

The Eternal Flame

As we work with candle burning and begin to see the positive benefits and results from such a universal tool, we should always remember that the power of the flame is eternal, perpetual and endless. We feel the burning and fire of our inner spirit – when we’ve desired something – something that is for our highest good and we made it happen! This fire cannot be extinguished – it must burn through till we achieve victory! Whether becoming healed, getting a college degree, meeting our right life partner…We drew upon the eternal flame within us and carried out our mission. Candles and candle burning augment the fire that is already within us – amplifying, projecting and strengthening our prayers, wishes and requests, like a singer who’s singing into the most powerful microphone and sound system so their voice is heard in the heavens! Never forget, the divine universe receives the fire of this ever-present flame and envelops it in infinite spirit — and grants our petitions — eternally for the greater good of all!

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© 2008 Jim1537.  All Rights Reserved.

What actually is cheating… doesn’t everyone already know what it is?  Having sex with someone other than the person you’re with, right…?  Being unfaithful, you know, seeing someone else on the side behind your partner’s back, c’mon – strip clubs, prostitutes, one night stands behind your lovers back, a man’s mistress, that dangerous bad boy toy on the side for a bored housewife…

But you might be surprised to learn that so many people have quite varying and diverse standards as to exactly what it is to cheat.  It’s obvious that everyone would agree that someone who is secretly having actual sexual intercourse with another person than who they’re in a committed relationship with, does constitute infidelity.  But what about those who engage in just oral sex without intercourse – kissing and touching?  Does flirting pass the test?  Cyber sex on the internet, exchanging lewd pictures…Does even the mere thought and sexual fantasy of someone without any actual physical activity rise to the level of infidelity? 

I’ve had clients share with me that they were more devastated by their spouses “emotional cheating;” meaning the sharing of emotional intimacy with someone who they did not have any physical sex with, as opposed to their partner simply having sex with another, say a one-night stand.  Many clients have claimed to me that receiving oral sex does not rise to the level of infidelity, and that cyber sex on the internet is safe, clean and of no harm to their lovers. 

Any or all of these criteria can be looked at in any number of ways, and for the purpose of this writing, all of these realities may be included and considered.  Each of you, as the reader, can decide, perhaps in a mix and match way, which, or how many of these above-mentioned issues you consider to constitute infidelity.  In every partnership, the two people need to set the parameters of the relationship and what defines infidelity. When one or both people step outside of the agreed to parameters, it constitutes infidelity.  With that in mind, let’s look at some of the reasons why people are unfaithful.

What does infidelity really do to a relationship – does it end it flat like a wrecking ball knocking down a home and destroy people’s lives permanently?  Does it sort of get swept under the rug, overlooked, sending the relationship into a strange kind of limbo?  Could it even be a vehicle for healing and growth, as in learning from our mistakes, facilitating a renewal of the bond people share?   Here, I would like to address various reasons why people are unfaithful, and their respective repercussions on relationships in the short and the long run.

“John, why are you cheating on your wife?  She’s a fantastic woman, great to look at, sexy, totally into you, and adores you,” a buddy questions?  “Because I can,” John flatly responds, as so many unfaithful men do.  John is your most stereotypic type of cheater:  arrogant, wants the thrill of the chase and the catch, feels it’s his birthright as a man to go out there and do what he wants, is full of himself, all the while wanting to have his cake and eat it too.  Certainly, John would never be the sort of guy to put up with his wife doing the same, or care about what he’s doing to her: from a health perspective, betrayal, and the emotional and psychological damage she will incur if and when she finds out. 

This type of infidelity usually has nothing sympathetic attached to it; it’s not as if his wife won’t make love to him, or that she’s disrespectful of his dignity, so therefore he needs to find someone who can be there for him – this is selfishness and uncaringness at it’s strongest and most flagrant.  It’s like a bully who picks fights just to flex his muscle and establish dominance and power over others merely to self gratify his ego.

With this type of cheating, it’s very hard to stop a man like John; it’s not that his wife is the problem at all – but once she finds out about his dishonest ways because or picking up a sexually transmitted disease from John’s continued stepping out, she becomes devastated and says:  “I failed as a wife – I must not be pretty enough-Certainly I don’t satisfy him sexually.  If I did, why would he have to look somewhere else?”

Wait a minute, though – this woman is not looking at the motive behind John’s cheating – it’s none of those things she feared about herself.  This is John’s enormous and self-centered arrogance at play.  You could give him the most attractive model in the world who’s totally into him and he would do the exact same thing to her.  It is about him, not about his wife.  In short, there’s nothing wrong with her as a woman. 

In this instance, her self-esteem gets destroyed, her self-image as a woman goes dramatically downhill and she loses her ability to trust.  With this scenario, it is most likely that sooner or later, the marriage between John and his wife will simply end – but it’s not that simple.  Due to John’s infidelity, his wife has had her self esteem flatlined, may go into a serious tail spin of depression where she becomes obsessed with not being good enough, legitimately has a health crisis from the physical act of the cheating, looses her ability to trust John, other men, and even life itself.  The repercussions here are absolutely devastating.

Let’s look at Allan, another married man, who is not the continual cheater as in the case of John.  In Allan’s case, he’s an example of a person who sometimes takes for granted what they have at home, gets bored, and carelessly slides into an affair.  “It just happened.  I wasn’t looking for it,” Allan sheepishly explains.  “Maybe it’s because my wife gained ten pounds.  I don’t know.  I just wanted something different.” 

Here, unnecessary pain is incurred by his wife who didn’t see it coming, has to decide whether to view this as an isolated incident or a long-term pattern, and must struggle with the proposition of rebuilding her trust in her husband who she has always believed in.  Extra work is created here, with damage that is quite palpable and hard to totally repair.  It’s like a car that was in an accident – the car was not totaled but there’s significant damage.  How easy is it to really bring the vehicle back to the condition it was in before the accident?

Sometimes a woman has tried everything they can to make their relationship work.  Fighting being ignored, dismissed and disregarded, the person does their best to hang in and hope for things to get better.  After their overall needs, especially their intimate ones have not been met for years, even decades, they being to look elsewhere, or at least become open to someone new.  “I never wanted to cheat on my husband, but this new guy talks to me, cares about what I feel and need, so I couldn’t help myself. “I‘m falling in love,” a wife at the end of her rope explains. 

Here we see how the husband has neglected his marriage to the potential point of no return.  The possible cure may be too late.  Before things went this far, the husband could have probably repaired the union, through increased intimacy, being attentive to his wife’s needs, and simply being a husband.  As a reader, I have very seldom seen a marriage damaged to this degree ever repair itself and last. 

The husband may have not seen it coming even though one could say that through his neglect of his wife, he helped to set it up.  It’s still easy for him to be quite upset, though; perhaps if the wife came to her husband first, before anything much developed with the other man, this blow could have at least been somewhat softened.

Beyond that, there are those instances where a relationship, even a once happy marriage, has run its course through two people legitimately growing apart and either one, or both people finding someone new, even through infidelity.  As complex as these situations may often be, in the end, moving on seems to be the best thing for both people who are no longer satisfied together.  It may be indeed better if the ties are severed first, then new lovers are found, but often, things don’t evolve in such a tidy and clear-cut way.  Sometimes, while still being married, a new relationship for one or both parties facilitates and motivates the actual end of the stagnant and miserable marriage.  All in all, both parties end up happier apart.

Serial cheaters, such as John, mentioned above in this writing, are unlikely to ever change. Why?  It’s a simple answer — they don’t want to.  It’s like telling someone who loves his or her alcohol and can’t wait to order another drink to stop drinking and go to AA.  They have no desire to; just like John, who won’t even entertain the idea of stopping cheating.  However, for those who slid into the affair as in the case of Allan, there may perhaps still be a chance to fix things, as his actions have not been a repetitive occurrence and happened carelessly, even clumsily.

For those who get found out only ‘cause they got caught, and falsely, often dramatically pledge their loyalty to their partner, cheating is likely to occur again.  If the motive of the cheater is to keep their primary partner in their lives, but still have action on the side, all of the tears in the world are completely disingenuous and false – even theatrical camp. 

For example:  “Jim, he’s a man.  You know, men do cheat.  Whatever he does out there in the streets in his business.  He comes home to ME every night.  Plus, when I found out, he even cried.”  My response is that criminals also cry when they get sentenced; is the reason for their tears because they feel empathy for their crimes and victims, or because they know they are going off to prison?  The answer is obvious…

This type of rationalization just keeps this mess going – till any number of things can and do happen:  outside pregnancies, health risks and things falling apart.  Here, the woman is going to blow it off, live in denial, obfuscate the issues, and continue to go along with it, as if she was driving a car blindfold down the street.  A crash will certainly occur.

It’s hard to put into words the atomic, destructive, frightening even deadly consequences of infidelity: From anger, rage, hurt, loss of trust, betrayal, financial collapse, even suicide and murder; cheating often turns people’s lives upside down – almost always not for the better.

In a perfect world where lovers tell the truth to each other, things are infinitely much easier, regardless of the long-term success or failure of a given relationship.  And in certain instances, a marriage can be saved, even after infidelity.  Where there is remorse, there can be forgiveness and things can be fixed.  When there is accountability without excuses, one can change for the better while learning from their mistakes.  There are times where people do heal, grow, and rebuild what they’ve invested long and hard into.  The keys are:  accountability for past actions, remorse, the commitment to change for the better and the sincere attempt to repair the damage already done to your partner!

If one is truly wanting to make their relationship work, the best thing to do is to always tell the truth when it comes to infidelity and potential infidelity, preferably before cheating.  Even if people separate, there is a much more likely chance for people to move on successfully in their future relationships. Honesty also allows certain relationships to be saved, everyone’s lives mad more peaceful, devastation avoided, with everyone’s dignity remaining intact and most of all, a better bond built.

If you are interested in having a reading with Jim1537, click here.

What is it really to know something – to know anything?  Does it mean that we grasp in our minds what it is…is that enough?  Perhaps that we can tell others that we indeed know it – and verbally explain it in great detail? 

To mentally “get it” is only the very tip of the iceberg of the surprisingly deep and complex process of knowing.  There are so many layers to get through to really know: from our conscious mind, through our emotions and feelings, defense mechanism, ultimately all the way down to our subconscious mind.

When receiving a reading, what does one think they know?   Do certain clients believe that they already have the answers?  If they don’t “get” what the reader is saying — do they listen…become closed off…interrupt – even argue…?  When a message seems absolutely implausible, is it time to dismiss that information as being false..?  Even telling the reader that they’re dead wrong…?

The Conscious Mind – Beginning to drill for oil

Like the surface of the ground we begin drilling for oil on, knowing something in our conscious mind is only the very beginning of that knowledge and we barely scratch that surface by only mentally processing.  For example, how many people can look a friend straight in the eye and tell them that what they’re doing is wrong?  Whether refusing to work, stealing, lying, cheating on their partners, the person can admit that their deeds are absolute acts of wrongdoing.  So why don’t they stop, then?  Presumably, one can say that they “know it.”  After all, they are admitting the “bad” things they are doing.  In short, it’s because they don’t know it emotionally; on a deeper level and down to the core of their being.  The same situation holds true when receiving a reading.  If the client already thinks that they know, they are not going to be open to what comes through in a consultation, which severely ties the hands of the reader behind their back.

When having a reading, many clients will stop a psychic dead in their tracks and say, “I already know what you’re telling me.  We don’t need to focus on what you’re saying at all.”  However, the reader didn’t know what the client already knew – they are picking up this information for the very first time.  By stopping the reader cold, they are preventing themselves as a client from a deeper sense of knowing!  Why?  Because the reader is establishing a connection with the client, which strengthens the spiritual synergy between both parties to allow helpful and wonderful guidance to be revealed!  Plus, the psychic is establishing that they are legitimately tuned in and picking up the client’s situation accurately which should always be appreciated during a session.  Also, the person may miss deeper insights and an alternate viewpoint the psychic may pick up.

In addition, clients will tell a psychic to stop reinforcing something, as they have already heard it said to them before in prior readings.  “I already know what to do,” they may state.  “Why is this being brought up again?  Can we change the subject?”  But reinforcement is absolutely necessary, especially when a client is working on a difficult lesson; a life lesson.  When life lessons are involved for any of us, we never “know” quickly.  Rather, we need to process, work and continue this “drilling” process, till we finally begin to break through the surface (beginning to learn our lesson).  This process can take a long time, from several years to decades.  By the client refusing to hear the “same” information again, they are thwarting and stunting their own growth.  Think of how therapists work with their patients for extended periods of time on a single issue.  If it is karmic, one must be diligent in their pursuit of healing (actually knowing).  Especially if the psychic sees the person is still doing the exact same things that they have done in the past.

In this instance, it is so important to realize that helpful information and guidance needs to be repeated and reinforced for one’s own growth and higher good. This is never a waste of time, but rather a positive utilization of the time spent in consultations!  With each session, new pieces of the puzzle are put into place.  Then, we can begin to drill beyond the top of the ground and hopefully start to break through to the nest level — all that we feel.

The Emotions – Drilling deeper

Feelings are tricky, just like beginning to go below the surface of the ground we walk on when drilling for oil.  As you delve deeper, you may not always be able to see where you’re going.  You’re starting to make that inward journey to your feelings, with all of their intensity, duplicity, confusion and raw power.  When receiving a reading, a client’s emotions may want themselves to be shut down and close off.  Why?  Because if we stay shut down and close ourselves off, we won’t have to look at or change our current emotional frame of mind even though change is exactly what we need.  We can still feel the same, which is what we’re familiar with and used to, allowing us to stay quite comfortable and on familiar ground!   We must always listen and be open when receiving a reading.  This way, all that we need to heal our lives has an open channel to come through!

Often, clients hamper a reading by interrupting what is coming through from heavenly spirit.  As a psychic is beginning to explain what they’re receiving from spirit regarding a relationship situation, the client interrupts, “What about this work situation I have going on that I wanted to know about.  Tell me what’s going on there!”  This completely breaks the flow of the reading, as this type of interruption causes a reader to feel like they’re being jolted out of their seat while sitting calmly still.  In addition, it proves to be a great disservice for the client, as they then won’t receive the messages that were beginning to be offered to them in their session.  

A client’s emotions cannot be in the driver’s seat, or a reading becomes analogous to letting a wailing toddler get behind the wheel of the car and throw you, the adult in the passenger seat. “Jim, I have never felt so strongly about anything like this.  I know what I feel is true.  My feelings don’t lie,” a client proclaims!  Here, we see the emotions of the client trying to seize control of the reading and make the consultation exactly and only what their feelings allow it to be.  Here, the client insists that their emotions are to be validated as gospel truth.  However, when any of us are receiving a reading, what we feel about our situation may not be real!  Especially because our deepest and most complex feelings tie into the issues we confront when receiving a reading.  Our emotions are at often at odds with the actual spiritual truth our souls yearn to hear – the truth we need to listen to. That spiritual truth is always present in higher mind – the God mind that a reading channels information directly from!

As obvious as a question as this may sound, it needs to be asked: “If one already feels that they know the answers, then why call a reader?”  Some want to have their own emotions fed right back to them verbatim to validate what they currently feel to be true.  Others use readings to reinforce their already existing emotional point of view.  However, the real reason one should call for a reading is to receive divine guidance and insight from a higher source, designed to help us grow!  That growth will challenge many of the feelings we currently possess.  The key, though, is always to listen.

Listening is an art.  What does it mean and what does it take to truly listen?  It means to have an open mind and heart to allow the advisor to correctly do their job!  This means to listen to the information without prejudice; a preconceived belief system based on already existing emotions and attitudes.  It takes humility and an unassuming mindset to truly listen.  When receiving a reading, it is always better to not think we know, versus being obstinate and over confident.  By trying to have a childlike innocence and receptivity, we can really receive such a plethora of helpful guidance and insights in a consultation.

Defense mechanisms – Drilling through dense and difficult ground

Our defense mechanisms are our trusted bodyguards; our knights in white shining armor, there to protect us, defend us, keep us alive and never let anyone or anything ever harm or hurt us again!  If we’ve been hurt before in love, then our defenses won’t let anyone in, or if we partially let someone in, we’ll avoid intimacy and commitment.  Why?  Because the old energy of fearing that we could get hurt again is summoned to protect us.  It’s as obvious as putting your hand on the stove and it gets burned.  Why would you put it there again?  If we’ve been lied to, then our fears tell us to never trust what anyone says to us anymore, because we might be lied to again, right?  Before, we had a dream in our career, but we failed.  So now, our fears keep us from taking chances and avoid going for it again!  Armed with an arsenal of defenses, avoidances, fears, strategies to protect us, we are kept safe… by running away, throwing good people out of lives, to attacking anyone or anything that threatens this self protecting armor.

When we’re receiving a reading, our fears and defenses do absolutely factor into the session.  First, on a cosmic level, our fears and internal blocks must be gotten through, to heal ourselves and free our lives from the chains of these old derelicts.  The reader is being guided to help “drill” through tough and dense ground (as in working through stubborn and resistant old fears within the client).  In addition, the defense mechanisms of the person receiving the reading may motivate them to attack the reader, as in shooting the messenger.  These clients will try and find a way of making the psychic wrong, as a way of empowering and validating their defenses and fears.  In this way, proclaiming a reader as inaccurate allows one’s survival mechanisms to go unchallenged and remain in control!  It’s like someone telling a friend who is drinking too much at a club to not drive home intoxicated with the response being, “Leave me the hell alone! I’m just fine!”

In this instance, a client argues with the reader, which completely ruins the session on all levels.  Since the psychic process is quite delicate, it is like someone (the client) stomping and trampling through a lovely flower garden.  It is easily destroyed and the spiritual connection is broken.  Here, nothing is accomplished as the reader and the client both lose out.  The psychic loses out because they are not being allowed to do their job.  However, the client suffers even more, as their time and money is wasted and they are not in any better of a position in their lives from this type of action.

I remember picking up on a relationship situation for a woman filled with defensiveness and fear.  I saw her man’s first name initial, height, build and brown hair color; that the two of them had been back and for about a year as well as picking up his line of work, which was in banking.  The client confirmed that the information I was receiving was accurate — but then the problem happened.  I also felt that the relationship would end in about 6 months, partially due to another woman who was currently in his life.  Her defenses immediately became engaged and she said: “There is absolutely no way that what you’re saying could be right!  There is no other woman!  I know what he’s doing all of the time!  I know that he loves me!”  She then dismissed the reading, proclaimed how inaccurate and negative I was, turning all of her anger on me.  Here, she snapped into survival mode; the same survival you would feel if you were being choked to death.  In that instance, you would fight back with everything you have!

However, a reading is hardly a life-threatening situation!  There is really nothing to be guarded about.  As a session should simply be an open forum for predictions, guidance and insights to be shared, we need to work with this process.  If we aren’t open, we keep adding more bricks to the already existing brick wall of our defensive fears within us – those energies that prevents us from striking oil – from breaking through to our subconscious mind, which carries out faithfully whatever is inputted into it without questioning.  Once we’ve reprogrammed our subconscious mind, victory can be ours!

The Subconscious Mind – Striking Oil

So many clients express frustration in a reading because what they want has yet to come true: “I’ve been working on things for so long and nothing has changed!  I do my affirmations! I know what I want!  I am open to my dreams!  What’s wrong?  Just tell me when it’s going to finally happen?”  As I deeply empathize with their frustration, it’s important to note that the client is dealing with a long term, or life lesson – one that ties into their overall spiritual growth.  When receiving a reading in this instance, a psychic cannot answer a life lesson question with simple when and where answers.  It simply doesn’t work. 

Here, you might say that the above-mentioned person has been trying, so why haven’t things worked out for them yet?  It is because they haven’t yet “got it” emotionally yet; they haven’t broken through to the core – their subconscious mind.  It will take consistent and patient effort to work through the actual emotional energies, then through the difficult protective defense mechanisms, to finally reach and reprogram the subconscious mind!  Remember, whatever the subconscious mind holds, it carries out, without the ability to differentiate between right and wrong.  Once reprogrammed, it will carry our your commands – new and positive ones!

How do we know, then if what we’re asking about in a session is legitimately a life lesson?  If it is an issue that you’ve dealt with problematically for an extended period of time, something that compels you over and over again, or makes you want to run for the hills, it is probably a life lesson.  Sometimes, instead of working on the lesson, it’s easy for people to ask multiple psychics the same question in consultations:  “When is my money situation going to finally get better?  I’ve been struggling for so many years.”  Often, the same prediction of it getting better within a reasonable amount of time is offered, but then these predictions don’t pan out.  As alluded to above in this writing, we must work through our emotions, defense mechanisms and fears to finally manifest our dreams.  In short, we have yet to “get it” emotionally. One way of saying it is that “You’ll need to learn the lesson to strike oil,” which is the dream in question.

When having a reading, let whatever comes through from infinite spirit help guide you to reach your destination.  You already know it mentally; you’ve felt and acknowledged your feelings and now have been “drilling” through the old defenses to get there.  I remember a client asking me in a session, “How will I know if I really get it?”  What can I expect to happen?”  Once you really start to “get it,” there will be change in tangible terms.  To some noticeable degree, the change for the better will begin to manifest in physical terms – what we call reality!  For example, if money is the issue, once a real sense of prosperity has broken through to our core, the money situation will improve, at lease to some noticeable degree right then and there!

Often the final conclusion is about a deeper knowing – in your gut! The same way you’ve felt when you’ve made an absolute and positive decision – no one or nothing could stop you!  Whether it was to get your college degree or lose weight, you went for what was right!  And it worked!  Remember the times in your life when you couldn’t be stopped – in a positive and beneficial way to you and others!  Feel that passion, that desire and the sincere commitment to your dream… and then, let it all go! 

Don’t hold it back by holding on to it too tight!  Release it like you release a series of beautiful rainbow colored balloons into the sun filled spring sly!  Watch your dreams rise to the heavens, breathe a sigh of relief and know as much as you have ever known anything that it is going to all work out!  You no longer need to worry!  It is now completed fact in divine mind and real to us on earth.

If you are interested in having a reading with Jim1537, click here.

 Many people utilize psychics to specifically tell them that things are indeed going to change for the better.  Demanding names, physical descriptions, dates and locations, it’s as if all answers are to be written in stone.  These clients limit a reading to merely yes or no responses; the words “if,” “possibility” or “maybe” don’t exist.  By a client wanting a reader to look at their journey in completely black and white terms, no grey tones are ever acknowledged.  If a psychic doesn’t provide those types of validations, then they are viewed as inferior, negative, not accurate or simply wrong.  When a reader uses the word “if,” it is simply disregarded by these clients.  I have to say that as an advisor, these are the most frustrating types of consultations to give.  Why?  Because life is hardly ever made up of only black and white tones — yes or no answers. 

A reading is a mirror of the pathway that one is currently on and any consultation is based on that road.  Often that pathway needs to change for things to open up in the way the client wishes them to.  In short, it is the client themselves who must change to get what they want.  Since this is often tied into one’s karmic and spiritual lessons, the change is mandatory and not optional for one to manifest their heart’s desire.  The client must grow to get the prize, like studying to do well on an exam.  It is often as clear as the analogy of someone asking when they are going to lose weight as they continue to overeat.  Never forget that a person’s expectations of any reader cannot trump or override the eternal laws of the universe, as life is a series of choices, possibilities, forks in the road and lessons.  Below I would like to address how our need to change manifests in 5 different areas of our lives and what we can do the affect that change for the better.

Money

Money equals vision – the size of our vision.  Whether tiny or as big as the endless skies, how big is your financial vision?  In the Bible, it is stated, “I will give you all of the land that thou seeth.”  This statement applies to money.  You will receive the amount of money you can envision and see.  How much money do you envision?  What are your financial expectations and limitations?

If you expect to be broke, you will stay that way.  We all have heard people complain about being broke.  Some people state it everyday.  What they may not realize is that the more they say it, the stronger it is affirmed and therefore, it becomes a reality.  You might ask, “Doesn’t that seem cruel?  Shouldn’t God give them a break if they’re struggling financially?”  What is important to note is that our reality is largely architected and sculpted by us.  It would be the same thing as wondering why God doesn’t take the wheel of someone driving drunk and recklessly before they crash.  We are in the driver’s seat of our lives, literally and figuratively!  To improve our financial situation, we need to first change our choice of words, by no longer ever saying that we are broke, period.  That alone will change one’s financial situation immeasurably.  By no longer putting it into the power of the spoken word, a tremendous amount of negativity is alleviated from our financial reality, which only helps us monetarily!

Don’t wish for something, you might just get it!  I have heard many clients first ask when their finances are going to improve. Then they tell me that they just want enough money to get by.  I immediately ask them, “You mean to say that you want to be able to pay your bills and then have 20 bucks to go to McDonald’s afterwards?”   In that context, it is quite sobering to hear.  Right then and there, I’ve seen many people change their relationship to money in a heartbeat.  “Jim, I had no idea how I was limiting my wealth through saying such a thing,” one responds.  Let’s replace the initial “Just enough to get by” wish with this request: “I want enough money to be free of lack and limitation forever!”  That change will immediately put into motion prosperity and abundance for all of us!

“I wish someone would give me a financial gift, cause I don’t have enough money to give anything to anyone else,” a client states.  “When will someone do that for me?”  Here, the client has this statement flipped around.  In metaphysical terms, what we wish to receive is what we need to give to someone else.  That will open the door for a monetary blessing to come back to us!  In this instance, one change that would open up finances for this client is to practice tithing.  Giving 10% of one’s income away charitably is a great way to bring in financial abundance to us!  As the great spiritual master Florence Shinn herself said, “To start activity in one’s finances, begin tithing.”

Ask yourself, “Do I deserve to be wealthy?”  If your answer is “no,” or “not really,” then immediately being reinforcing that you do deserve to be wealthy!  If your response is “yes,” but money has not yet come to you, keep reinforcing that you are deserving of prosperity, every single day!  In this instance, it just means that there is still a part of you within that feels unworthy of money, based on low self worth.  It may perhaps be unconscious, but the barriers need to be completely broken through internally to open the floodgates of prosperity for you!

Career

Are you doing what you want, what you love and dream of, or is work just that necessary evil to pay the bills and put food on the table?  Most of us will spend at least one third of our lives working, so it is always best if we love our work, as then it becomes play.  In the simplest of terms, I always recommend for people to do what they love doing and the rest will come; as in the advancement, money, fulfillment and recognition.  Gratitude and appreciation must be at the core of what you’re doing, to really be successful in a substantial and long lasting way. 

However, what is the solution when we’re doing something we don’t like – or worse yet, something we hate, even detest?  What if we don’t know what we want; yet we still don’t like what our current career is?  This could lead people to simply say, “I just want to make a lot of money!  I don’t care what I have to do!”  That type of attitude doesn’t work.  It’s like someone saying that they’re going to start singing today to be rich and famous right away.  They wouldn’t get too far!  The first thing we need to do is to create change, both internally and externally to make our dreams come true.

If you dislike what you’re doing, but don’t really know what your divine calling is, I would recommend to start with this change:  1) – Call upon God’s divine guidance daily to reveal to you your divine career pathway and show you what your perfect career is.  This is important, as you’re surrendering the burden to infinite wisdom.  It may take a while, but sincerely ask for this guidance everyday!  Then, sit back and just wait for your answers.  Don’t look for them, as that can create false leads.  The correct opportunities will come when they’re supposed to as correctly timed by divine mind. 

2) – While you’re waiting for the answers, begin practicing gratitude everyday for the job you currently have.  This is a change I would strongly recommend.  You might question, “Even if I hate it?”  That is precisely why you should build gratitude – because you do hate it!  This way, you turn lemons into lemonade, so to speak.  By developing a positive attitude about whatever it is that you’re currently doing, you open the door to receive more blessings.  Why?  Because negative brings more negative and positive brings more positive.  Make that change by swinging into a better attitude to manifest new career blessings! 

3) – Be willing to take the right steps in physical terms: job interviews, searching all that is available, asking people for leads and knocking on doors!  In short, don’t let your dreams just sit there and turn into pipe dreams.  Turn these dreams into reality by putting yourself out there.  Don’t just do this impulsively or intermittently- do it consistently!  The universe loves the steady energy of us working every day to reach our goals!  This change will be quite powerful for you!  It’s OK if you experience multiple rejections!  Most multi millionaires have failed in business before hitting it big!  They didn’t give up and neither should any of us. Also, start researching ways to make money doing what you like to do!

4) – “I can’t wait any longer.  Nothing seems to be going anywhere in my career,” a frustrated client says.  It’s important to change our attitude in this instance and truly be patient.  Some times tried and true clichés make the point: Rome wasn’t built in a day!  With patience, it allows God’s split second timing to come into play.  Frequently, our timing is based on, “I want what I want right now,” like a child demanding a toy!  However, God’s clock may be different than ours because often, many factors are in play that we could never humanly comprehend or control.  Leave the day, month and year to a higher power!  Also, while you’re waiting for things to unfold, make the change to start giving it your all regarding whatever you’re doing right now.  The divine universe loves a person of positive enthusiasm and will reward you for such enthusiasm.

Ultimately, we shall find the career path which is our divine calling, utilizing our unique one of a kind gifts.  We should always appreciate how we are able to offer our special talents to others, as what we do must benefit, serve and help others.  This way, what we bring to this world through our work is a Godsend for all concerned!

Family & Friends

Friendships, like anything in our lives, need to be maintained.  We can never sit back and expect a friendship to just take care of itself.  If we do, sooner or later, things will go sour.  When we find ourselves being frustrated with our friendships, we must make the changes that are necessary to improve things with those we know, while at the same time, being open to new people who are good for us.

I’ve had many people ask me, “Jim, when am I going to meet some new friends?  I really feel alone in this world.”   Often, as I look at a person in this particular situation, it’s because in reality, they choose to be by themselves.  Even though they may feel lonely, they are comfortable in that aloneness.  Why?  Because they don’t have to give, take a chance of getting hurt again, or sacrifice for others.  In this instance the phrase “To have a friend, you must be willing to be a friend” rings so true.  Often, it’s past hurts and disappointments with others that shut us down.  It’s easy to close ourselves off and find a negative type of solace in being by ourselves; an unhealthy sense of comfort – but eventually it wears us down.  However, we must be willing to make the right changes:  we need to be sincerely open to meeting new people and commit to giving of ourselves to others.  This way, the right people have a doorway to enter into our lives and even if we encounter a few duds at first, good people will make their way into our lives through time.

Sometimes people get frustrated with the friendships they have.  They may feel that their needs and feelings are being ignored and not met.  Little by little, each disappointment builds until a crisis point is reached.  We can’t just bury what we feel and still expect to maintain a friendship in a healthy and reasonable way.  The cornerstone of changing this pattern is through communication. As every friendship has crossroads, crisis points and areas of conflict, we must learn to communicate our needs and address our concerns.  It is exactly in the way these areas are resolved that largely determines the success we will have together.  There is no guarantee as to how each individual person will react to hearing about our frustrations with the friendship we share with them. 

However, we must at least try, because if the person responds favorably, our friendship with them can improve.  Not only does the bond strengthen, but also as people, both parties grow through acknowledging each other and working through conflict together.

Acknowledging those in our lives and being acknowledged is quite powerful.  When any of us are acknowledged, we feel important, special, validated and worthy!  Part of that acknowledgement can be in the form of an apology!  Whatever hurt has occurred, a sincere “I’m sorry” from us or to us is a very healing gift!

In the instances when someone doesn’t receive our concerns openly, we see the limits of the friendship.  We can try and bring about change by voicing our needs and concerns, but it is impossible to force someone to be considerate and listen to us.  It can feel like we’re running into a brick wall, but then at least we know where we stand.  That let’s us determine if it’s worth it for us to: stay in the friendship, set partial limits and boundaries, or completely separate and move on in a different direction in our lives.

As the physical world and all of its affairs are ever evolving, sometimes people just grow apart.  “What happened?  How did we get here?”  Just like you might have had a great little playmate when you were 6 years old, now as a grown adult you no longer have anything in common with this person.  That is OK!  If they were meant to still be there, they would be.  Holding on to what once was, only holds us back!  In these instances, there is nothing that can be done, expect to bless whatever was once there, let it go and hopefully, both parties will move on to more fulfilling friendships.  This change of attitude frees us to enter the next chapters of our journey with new people.  We should always try to be cognizant of all we’ve learned; take the lesson and throw the rest away (meaning the emotions) and by all means, be grateful for all that has been shared!

Even though we pick our family members before we enter an incarnation, we may choose them for lessons other than living happily ever after in a “Leave It To Beaver” household.   Family relationships are often quite complex and it is seldom that anyone gets along famously with everyone in their family.  With these ties being karmic and tying into our past lives, we must realize that there are lessons to learn!  If we’re dissatisfied with members of our family, it is important to look at what changes we can make for the better. 

We can and should try to voice our concerns and needs to our various family members.  Especially since we will be family for this lifetime, countless episodes, experiences, consequences and results will occur between them and us.  Certainly how they respond to us will shape our relationship with them, sometimes in a subtle way, while other times dramatically.  We can only do the best we can and there is no rulebook as to how close or distant we should be with our family members.  These relationships are karmic and must be looked at on a case-by-case basis.  A good guideline, though, is to always try and live by the rule of treating yourself lovingly while treating them lovingly.  Respect is a two-way street!  However, sometimes our deep and intimate emotional needs are simply not able to be met by our family members.  In this instance, God will bring us those who do fulfill us and in that sense, anyone who loves, nurtures and cares for us fills the void left by unfulfilling family relationships!

What all members of a family need to learn will evolve in the same way the plot line of a film evolves – one scene at a time.  As the plot unfolds, it becomes clear what it is we’re here to learn together, our tasks, goals and multiple purposes!  With love as our guide, whatever is the higher purpose becomes the foundation of our varying and often complicated family ties.

Love

Most, if not all of us have been hurt or disappointed in love before.  Even though our pain seems unique to us, we have all been through it in one-way or another.  So many clients ask the million-dollar question, “When am I going to meet the one?”  Although phrased so simplistically, this question often has a very complex answer.  However, one word sums up the basis of the answer:  change!  It is often us who need to change to bring in the right partner.  These changes are not optional; they must be completed to manifest the relationship God has waiting for us. 

1) – Change your emotional expectations.  Based on what you’ve been through before, you do have internal expectations within.  They may be good or bad, even complex, but if you listen without prejudice, you’ll see what your true beliefs are.  If past hurts are not healed, there will be an expectation of disappointment again.  Since it’s what you know through your experience, it becomes what you believe your future holds in store for you.  This must change.  How do we make that happen?  First, we must acknowledge openly what we really feel!  Not just keep asking multiple psychics when “the one” is coming in, all to no avail!  As we acknowledge what we feel, we can replace the negative expectations with positive ones – that indeed our love lives do work out!

2) – Let go of negative lovers.  Negative lovers are poisonous – yes, we learn from them…yes, of course, everything in our lives is a learning experience.  God doesn’t condemn our choices and we have free will to do anything we want…but wait!!  Is the goal to simply experience, or to find happiness?  If the goal is indeed to find long lasting joy with another, we must release and let go of negative lovers.  With each negative lover, it’s like gaining weight.  It you gain 5-10 pounds, losing it is quite doable.  However, if you gained 50-100 pounds over many years, it becomes a serious crisis.  The same destructive effects happen to us through multiple toxic relationships. We become angry, bitter, closed, cynical, self destructive, guilty and caught in a cycle of much heartache.  The sooner harmful unions are let go of for good, the less work, time and healing that has to occur by us to effectively make that change and meet our divine partner!

3) – Open your heart.  Most people I read for who are yet to be in a successful relationship truly believe that they are open – open to love – open to commitment.  They will even argue and defend their position.  “I am absolutely open to love!  I just haven’s met the right person yet, so when are they coming in?”  However, in reality, many are not open to love at all.  It is a smokescreen.  The fears within (based on unresolved past pain) create a protective wall, a wall designed to keep love away!  The former disappointments cause us to go into survival mode, which means that from a knee jerk perspective: love=hurt.  Therefore, love must be blocked from coming in because it will wound us.  A person in this instance either attracts no one, or people who are not really open and never offer a commitment in return. 

This change I’m about to mention is perhaps the most important of all!  Everyday, work on releasing, forgiving, blessing and letting go of all past lovers where negativity and pain have been incurred!  Then, work toward pronouncing out loud everyday that you are open to love and commitment with your perfect divine life partner!  This may take time, as one would be working through a great deal of baggage and a wall with a lot of bricks that built it!  However, don’t give up, as reaching an openness to love from within is the greatest key to bringing in someone wonderful! 

Don’t magnify obstacles!  That’s exactly what your defense mechanisms want because then you can’t get hurt again:  “There’s no one good out there” – “Good lovers are hard to find once you’re older than 21″ – “Where can I meet anyone good anyway?”  “It’s been such a long time!”  But you’re not looking for a lot of lovers!  You’re only looking for the one person who is right for you!  Do not lose sight of the fact that the right person is indeed out there.  But we must unlock the door that we have padlocked (even if we don’t consciously acknowledge or know it) for so long.  That is the change needed to literally change everything! Of course, consider opportunities to meet people as they present themselves.  If you’re looking to pro actively connect with new people, always remember to not get pulled into something negative for you.  The red flags will be there!  As you pass on lovers who are not right, you allow God to have an open door to walk through with the partner who is truly for your highest good!

Health & well-being

If you’ve read my former writings, I’m sure you would have noticed that I put a great deal of emphasis on what comes out of our mouths.  Here, though, I would like to shift that focus to all that we put into our mouths!  Of course, we’ve established that what comes out of our mouths in terms of our words, does change reality – literally.  But what about all that we ingest?  It also changes reality; in ways we may take for granted.  “You are what you eat” is an old mainstay, but how true it is!  I’ve had many clients voice concerns about their health, while at the same time not taking into account all that they take in. 

What is food really for?  Is if comfort when we’re depressed; eating a box of chocolates to ease our frustrations?  Is it there for indulgence; super size, bigger, more..?  Or is it simply there for keep our bodies alive and well?  Like a car needs gasoline, we as physical beings need food for fuel!  Of course we can enjoy at the same time, but our first and foremost concern should be eating healthy and reasonably!  Just like you wouldn’t put dirty or contaminate gas in a car, why would you poison wondrous body!  Many of us diet, than gain the weight back – only to diet again.  Besides the emotional frustration we incur, this roller coaster ride does not promote overall health and well being.  So what do we do then?

We often say that we need to go on a diet.  It sounds like doing some prison time.  But diets come and go.  We must change our relationship to food and change our eating habits and become friends with foods that are nutritious and good for us!  By changing our relationship to what and how much we eat, we being to promote a healthy body!  After we’ve redesigned our eating habits, in addition, we need to emotionally come to terms with what motivated us to eat the way we had in the first place!  Once we alleviate the actual behavior, we should then get to the root cause of why we did so in the first place, as sometimes we just don’t know why.  

Along with our dietary change, exercise is a Godsend.  Whenever God gives us something, there is a reason for it – a profound purpose.  Just like a bee has a stinger and the roots of trees grow deeper in the ground, our bodies serve a functional purpose.  Whether it’s our eyes to see, ears to hear or our legs to walk, we should never take our God given body for granted.  Exercise gives a body respect, pride, health and well-being!  Try not to get so lost in your head – and think that dwelling on the physical is somehow unevolved!  We are in the physical plane! 

Regarding alcohol, cigarettes and recreational drugs, I would recommend for anyone to try understanding why they’re involved in these various habits.  Coming to terms with the reasons why we get into certain habits, helps us to gain clarity, insight and allows ourselves to make new lifestyle choices!  Just like food, though, even if you decide to physically lessen or stop a practice, you must get to the psychological and emotional core of what motivated this behavior.  It is never just a random choice, like driving down highway 1 or 2.   It reflects on who we are, our issues and what we need to heal to achieve the overall health we divinely deserve!  Keep in mind to look at yourself lovingly and without judgment, as you’ll be working through delicate internal issues.

Besides our physical habits, health and well being are completely interwoven into our emotions.  As the great spiritual teacher Florence Shinn said, “For every disease, there is an emotional correspondence.”  We never get sick at random.  For every effect, there is a cause.  Here, we are the cause, helping to create our own illnesses and our internal states of being, even if we don’t realize it.  I’ve seen countless numbers of clients manifest serious illness through not healing their emotional natures and indulging in negative thinking.  The body is the canvas and our emotions and thoughts are the colors and pictures we paint.  Even “rational” doctors today acknowledge that emotions do indeed play a part in our overall health and well being.  In the most obvious sense, serious stress in our daily lives raises blood pressure, for example. 

I remember a female client who made negative choices for a 13 year period where I was reading for her. Back then, she started dating a very uncaring much younger man who took advantage of her financially and cheated on her.  At the time I warned her to get rid of him, as I felt this relationship would have long lasting negative consequences for her.  Unfortunately, she didn’t listen to this warning…It hit me that it would damage her self esteem and for the 2-3 years they “dated,” the damage was done.  His negative and disregarding treatment of her caused to her to really start feeling bad about herself and “not good enough” as a woman.  That led to consistent lower self worth, which began affecting her work and income.  As she was self employed, she started attracting clients who treated her disrespectfully (a mirror of how the above mentioned man treated her) and her income started going downhill.  As this cycle continued over the years (because the original problem was never healed), her income started dramatically plummeting.  This caused her to get seriously stressed. With that stress and the accumulative effect of all of this pain, she couldn’t manifest new and positive clients very well, or any real money as she was in a negative internal state.  All of the combinations of these stresses ultimately lead her to getting seriously ill about a year ago, to the point where she feared dying.  Here, we see how the body is the recipient of emotional choices and from my point of view, all of this suffering could have been prevented, by making positive emotional choices.

It is good to affirm heath and well being everyday, as without our health, what do we really have?  I remember a movie scene were a very rich aging mobster says that he’d give a couple of million dollars just to be able to feel OK for a while.  Here is a great affirmation:  “I am in a constant and perpetual state of complete heath and well being in all parts of me!  I thank God for every blessing I have!”

In addition, we must heal whatever is the root cause of illnesses or any other lack of well being!  Often, the cause doesn’t seem to be related to what our body is experiencing.  For example:  I remember someone experiencing serious indigestion!  I felt that this was due to not appreciating what they had and repeatedly complaining about their life!  That complaining created the indigestion being experienced.  When this person started affirming gratitude for their life and stopped the complaining, the indigestion went away!  What I’m mentioning here are wonderful tools to aid in healing, without any side effects!

As love is the perfect healer of everything and all, we must become a complete circle!  When we love ourselves, love everyone, cherish everything and pronounce gratitude every single day, we have given ourselves the greatest gift of healing imaginable!  For every choice based on love, we contribute to our overall heath and well being!  When we choose fear, resentment, self pity, rage, resentment or any negative emotion; it is like putting repeated doses of poison in our bodies – literally!  We can’t afford to hate anyone or anything, even if it just for the sake of our bodies!  Make unconditional love your foundation, your calling card and best friend and the world with all of its wondrous dreams will be yours! 

Believe me, I know, that changing yourself is the hardest thing that you will ever do!

You already have the tools you need and the lessons are right there in front of you!

If you can take the first steps to change yourself, you can create what you dream of in your life!  Remember, you do have the power! 

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