Voice of the Spirit

Most of us would agree that one of the main reasons we are here in our earthly journey is to learn to love ourselves.  It is safe to assume that we’ve all struggled with feeling good about who we are.  The difficulty in loving ourselves can occur through negative reinforcement in childhood, a failed marriage or relationship, dreams that didn’t work out, our physical appearance not being what we want it to be, not being successful in our careers or wealthy enough, the self esteem issues that we may have brought in from a previous lifetime, or any number of personal reasons that cause us pain.

Currently, the reoccurring theme of “love yourself” is ever present in countless self help books, new age philosophies, various forms of spirituality, and stated by therapists.  In practically every corner of our society, this theme is reinforced repeatedly.

Of course, we must all learn to love who we are.  However, what does that actually mean?  Are we supposed to love and accept all parts of ourselves and everything we do:  our good qualities, bad qualities, talents, strengths, warts, flaws and all?  Should unconditional love be a blanket license for us to validate every aspect of ourselves? 

First, your higher self

We don’t tend to see the difference between who we are versus what we do when trying to love ourselves.  It’s as if we feel that we should love, accept, celebrate, and even cherish absolutely everything about us.  This is the goal that many books and philosophies teach – for you to feel wonderful about you in every way imaginable!

However, as we learn to love ourselves, we must recognize that there is a huge difference between our higher self; as opposed to everything we do.  Our higher self is quite extraordinary.  This is the part of us that is eternally connected to divine mind.  Here, we are an utter masterpiece.  Our higher self is personified and projected through our special, unique, and irreplaceable set of talents, gifts, and positive qualities.  Only you can do what you have been sent here to do.  No one else can. 

 Our higher mind is our perfection — the part of ourselves that has never lived or died, has never known suffering, pain, struggle or failure.  To be created in the universal, supreme and eternal image; to be a direct mirror of the divine; this is the part of ourselves that can move mountains, feed the hungry, and heal the sick.

 When someone does charity work, performs selfless acts of kindness, and contributes anything positive to the world, their higher self is shining through.  It is also demonstrated by simply being a good person in the most basic sense.  When we observe a great painter, read wonderful works of literature, or hear a brilliant musician, those talents and gifts come from the higher self.

Janet is a musician who decided to perform music for people who are in hospice and near the end of their physical journey.  She attempts to use music to help center those who have life threatening illnesses, to help them prepare to transition into spirit gracefully and with peace.  This is Janet’s higher self shining through, where she offers her unique and irreplaceable talents in a positive way to others.  She fills a place in the world that only she can, and through building upon her talents, gifts, and one-of-a-kind qualities, she touches the world through her healing music.

Take a look at what your talents, gifts, and irreplaceable contributions to the collective are.  If you’re not sure, affirm the following:  Infinite intelligence reveals to me the genius of my higher self and shows me what I am divinely here to do!   Then, be prepared to be shown the perfect and divine plan of your life.

Remember that anything that comes from our higher self is worth learning to love and we should learn to do so unconditionally!  This strengthens our spiritual connection, and brings out the best in us. 

However, we tend to blur the lines between what is positive and what is negative about us, and don’t perceive the difference between our higher self, as opposed to our lower self.  So what exactly is our lower self, then, and how do we learn to distinguish between the two?

Second, your lower self

Our lower self is baser than our higher self, and is connected with lower physical reality, such as animal instincts.  Mastering our lower self is part of everyone’s spiritual and karmic journey in the physical world.  We will all need to learn to control such drives and desires in one lifetime or another.

I’m referring to thoughts, words, actions and choices that are negative, mean, dark, ugly, selfish, harmful and destructive to ourselves and others.  Thinking and speaking badly of others are qualities that most of us do every day.  Lying to people, manipulating, and cheating are commonplace, even in polite society.  To a much lesser degree, violence, abuse, murder and suicide also occur in everyday life.

Here we see the ego, lower emotions, selfishness, vanity, greed, arrogance, lack of consideration, and even psychopathic narcissism in action.  With these qualities which typically represent our lower self, we continue to create negative karma.

So what do we do with these energies of our lower self, which all of us possess in varying degrees?  Should we just put the qualities of both the lower self and higher self in a blender, so to speak, mix it up, and learn to love it all?  In reality, the lower self represents the very parts of ourselves that we should not validate, embrace, or learn to love.  

Joe is a man who is ruthlessly ambitious in his career, and is willing to step on anyone to get ahead.  He falsely befriends co workers to gain their confidence, and then uses their own vulnerabilities against them to advance his career.  One such instance happened with Paul, a nice, decent co worker who was higher up in the company than Joe.  Once the two men became friends, Joe observed Paul’s weaknesses, and then used them to seize his position.  Not only did Joe take what wasn’t his, he caused Paul to lose his job, which permanently devastated Paul’s life.

What Joe did certainly wasn’t great.  However, many of us would simply respond to his actions by saying, “Hey, you gotta do what you gotta do to get ahead in this world.”  This part of Joe’s energies: ruthlessness, going after what isn’t his, hurting people, destroying their careers and their lives, should not be loved by Joe, or even tolerated.  These qualities should be let absolutely let go of, and removed from his actions.

It’s the same with your body.  If you had a malignant tumor, how would you treat it?  Would you try to love and accept that tumor – even validate and embrace it?  Of course you wouldn’t.  You would remove it efficiently and permanently.  We should also view our negative energies in the same way.  This is part of our spiritual goal in learning to love ourselves – to remove all of our “bad qualities,” and purify ourselves to do our best to become as virgin snow – not a murky blend of the good, bad, and the ugly.

However, this is not what most of us attempt to do who are on a quest to love ourselves.  We often look at the very best and the absolute worst within us as being one and the same, and attempt to validate it all.  We excuse whatever we do because we’re just simply being ourselves.  Somehow, if it can be rationalized, who we are and what we do all becomes ok in our own minds. 

As time has passed, we now see people using the concept of loving themselves in more distorted, selfish, and narcissistic ways than ever before.  What may have started out as an attempt to have a healthy relationship with oneself has turned into something quite ugly, harmful and out of control.  How could something as seemingly wholesome and enriching turn into something that pronounces and champions the worst in us?  Where did this all come from in the first place, and how did we get here as a society? 

 Three factors of the Lower Self:

1) The birth of “me”

We now all see the phenomenon of everyone loving themselves and celebrating every aspect of who they are.  Therefore, we might assume that since it is this way today, it’s the way it’s always been.  However, there was a time where it wasn’t at all common within our society to be on a journey to love yourself, yet alone all parts of who you are.

 Decades ago, people were much less individualistic then they are today.  When history refers to the generation that fought in World War II as the greatest generation, they were referring to the fact that everyone came together for a common cause.  Self-sacrifice was the creed of that generation – not self-empowerment or being “me.”  In the post World War II era, people started to become more individualistic.  We can see this change crystallized in the social protests of the 1960’s, and the sexual liberation of the 1970’s.  By the 1980’s, everyone forgot about everyone else and got as much money as they could.  In the famed movie “Wall Street,” actor Michael Douglas (as the character Gordon Gecco) smugly stated, “Greed is good.”  Today, we see websites that cater to every single personal nuance, from people with specific sexual fetishes to many who blog all day long about what they had for dinner last night.

2) The Death of Manners and Polite Society

Through everyone now pronouncing their individuality more loudly, we have seen an erosion of manners and the death of polite society as we once knew it.  Through not caring to differentiate between their higher self and lower self, people have become meaner, far less considerate of others and ruder in everyday life.  A recent CNN poll revealed that over 80% of all polled thought that people are much ruder nowadays.  More shocking that that, though, is that 98% of those polled did not think they themselves were rude.

Manners are seen as something that is out of date, silly, and almost Victorian.  Terse emails, interrupting people, and looking out for number one have become today’s mottos.   How often do we hear people define their life philosophy and highest aspiration as, “I get what I want!”  It’s as if a person getting everything they want is now seen as the pinnacle of living life to the fullest, as opposed to trying to make the world a better place through being in it.

Even if people were more restrained in the past simply because it was the way of the world, manners caused all of us to behave better and be treated with more respect.  With polite society gone, people attack others, and we all get hurt.  Through the feeling of being a victim, we even feel more justified in being rude, ugly, and on the attack.  It all gets rationalized as, “I’m just protecting me!”  If we’re selfish, manipulative, and strike back at others, there’s a darn good reason.  We’ve been hurt too many times before, so we’re just standing up for ourselves.  “I’m just taking care of number one,” becomes the new mantra of “survival of the fittest.”

3) The False Empowerment Syndrome

As society has changed, coupled with the glut of self-help books, therapy, various forms of philosophy and spirituality, we now live in a world where people certainly feel empowered.  It’s not enough to just love ourselves anymore.  We’re taught to believe that being us is absolutely great; and that translates into anything and everything we think, say, and do.  As long as we’re not physically attacking someone without cause, most everything else is viewed as acceptable.  Interrupting others, rudeness, mean spirited comments, being inconsiderate, stepping on people to get ahead in this world and violating other’s rights to get what you want are all thought of as just the world we now live in.  If we get caught in a position where we might look bad, we can always find a way to make the end justify the means. 

Through false empowerment, people don’t stop and censor themselves – in fact, everyone has an opinion – about everything.  Worse than that, though, is that people now consider their opinions – on everything, to be valid.  Frequently, one’s opinions are hardly based on anything substantive or factual.  We hear people just spout off about whatever.   However, have they studied or researched what they’re speaking so confidently about?  Where does their information come from?  

It goes without saying that everyone has the right to say whatever they wish; but are all opinions equal?  Of course they’re not.  Would a doctor’s opinion on your health be equal to someone who has never studied medicine?  Most people just shoot their mouth off, without knowing what they’re talking about.  We see cable TV talk show hosts doing this daily.  The person watching the show feels like, “Hey, if he can say whatever he thinks, well then so can I!”  To study, research, and gain some substantive knowledge and awareness of what one bases their opinions on is rare today.  How common is it to hear someone say, “This is my opinion and I have the right to express myself any way I want!”  Just turn on cable television news shows where guests argue, shout over each other, and try to one-up everyone else around the clock.

Day by day, we here certain catch phrases which falsely empower us.  They are so commonplace in our current society, that we take these declarations for granted:    “I get what I want!”  “This is who I am!”  “I like and love everything about me!”  “If you love me, you’ll accept me exactly as I am, and won’t ever ask me to change!”  “I’m just being me!” “This is just the way I am!”  “If you don’t like it, oh well; too bad, so sad!” 

What do these statements all have in common?  They all take only one thing into consideration, which are the selfish needs of the person making the statement.  There is nothing about these proclamations that indicate care for others, consideration of how we impact on anyone else, or any semblance that everything in this universe is interconnected.  Here, we see the lower self exalted and enshrined, while our higher self is dwarfed and suffocated.

Remember, the lower self is addictive, and easy to fall into.  Isn’t it easier to try and do what you want and get what you want, then to step back and ask yourself how your choices and actions impact on others? 

We now see how the positive aspects of self-love have become polluted through both our higher self and lower self being the recipients of acknowledgment, acceptance, unconditional love, and validation.  With these lines completely blurred, the collective world greatly suffers as the overall behavior of people becomes empowered in a negative way.

So is it too late for each of us within our society to truly and clearly know the difference between their higher self and lower self when trying to make the journey to love themselves?   There certainly are solutions, but are they options most people care to look at, process, and ultimately implement?

The Solution – Gravity vs. Weightlessness

First, to solve this issue, each of us would have to want to sort it all out, which is not easy to do.  Isn’t it easier to just doing anything you want?  But even if that desire is there, how do we identify and release the qualities, patterns, behaviors, and attitudes of our lower self, in order to make such heavy negativity weightless?  Here are a few simple and easy tips to follow:

Be both loving to ourselves and loving to others.

If you are being loving to yourself, without being loving to others, you are being selfish.

If you’re loving to others without being loving to yourself, you’re giving too much away, and not being fair to yourself.

Often, people don’t care to reach out to others, and don’t want to be bothered either.  They believe that it’s good enough to just be neutral, detached, and co exist with the world in a non caring way.  We may not offer much to anyone, but if we’re not hurting others, it’s ok.  We stay out of other people’s way, and they need to stay out of ours.

Although being neutral is better than being negative, it is not good enough.  It is like an airplane that is taxing on the runway; it can’t taxi forever, as it needs to get off the ground.  Just like the plane is supposed to take off and rise above the clouds, we need to do the same with our lives.  We do this by building our reality upon the positive qualities of our higher self.  Here is a quick top ten list of thoughts, words, perspectives, and actions that will steer you in the right direction:

1. Be considerate of others
2. Be polite and have good manners
3. Let go of negative thoughts and words about others, (and also of yourself)
4. Remember that you are not separate – everything you do affects everything and everyone else
5. Don’t be a victim – victims always attack and feel falsely justified in doing so
6. Be kind in any way you can
7. Try to offer your special qualities, talents and gifts to the world
8. Don’t lie, manipulate, or behave rudely toward others
9. Apologize if and when you fall short
10. Be generous in all ways – remember, to give is to receive

Practice this top 10 list every day, as it will lighten the heaviness of your lower self.

 Remember, it is us who create the gravity when it comes to our lower self.  Through emotional and mental attachment, negative thoughts, words, actions and choices, we give it weight, and in turn, that really weighs us down.  If we choose to release our own negativity, there is nothing that can keep these old derelict qualities weighed down within us. 

As the negative qualities of our lower self become released, they can be carried off by the gentle winds high above the clouds, up and away where they return to their native nothingness.  By letting go, it is literally like turning a ten ton boulder on our backs into a feather – there is no more weight!  We have transcended gravity– through releasing the burden, the load, and the heaviness of our subjective negative qualities – and yes, we all have them.  It’s only us who can give them weight – and only us who can make them weightless.  Don’t defend yourself or try to be the victim.  Tell it like it is, and set yourself free!

When we build our journey on our higher self, nothing needs to be excused or rationalized!  It is all good – and it is all loveable. From that foundation, everything we are, think, say, and do – our choices, talents, gifts, spirituality, career, finances – as well as what we do with our bodies and sexuality all contributes to what is divine and magnificent in this world.  This is worth loving unconditionally!

Learning how to love ourselves the right way has always been about healing the darkness within – not embracing, enhancing, celebrating, validating, and building our lives on it as so many of us do!  As we discover the right way to love ourselves, we find it easy to do, if we only remember one simple guideline:  Let go of the negative qualities of the lower self, and learn to love what is naturally, inherently, eternally and already loveable about you – your higher self.

If you are interested in having a reading with Jim1537, click here.

In a reading, we hear that we have tasks, goals, lessons to learn, and a spiritual purpose to our journey.  We accept this information because it strikes a chord within us on a deep spiritual level.  In addition, there are things we want to accomplish, such as our own personal goals and dreams.  Of course our physical lifetime is finite, and will someday come to an end.  This means that we only have a certain amount of time in any given lifetime to learn our lessons and achieve our goals. 

Many times, we come to a place in our journey where we fear that the clock will run out on us.  What do we do, then, when we feel that we’re running out of time to achieve our goals and dreams, and furthermore, is that fear always necessarily true?

Are You Really Running Out Of Time?
Meghan came from a family where a good portion of the women had female problems at a young age, often resulting in the need for a complete hysterectomy.  She married when she was just 19, and immediately felt the urgency to have children.  Meghan couldn’t wait at all; not even a couple of years, as she was convinced that she too, would end up with the same female reproductive issues.  She carried a dreaded fear that she was running out of time.  However, the doctor told her that she was healthy from a reproductive perspective, yet the fear held her in its terrifying grip.  So Meghan held onto this unrealistic fear at the age of 19, when indeed she wasn’t running out of time at all…

When internal panic sets in and we fear that the time for our dreams is almost up, it is paramount that we don’t let this panic direct our choices or course of action, or we’ll make the wrong decisions.  First, we must calm down, as we won’t see anything clearly while in a state of emotional panic.  Remember, there is a solution; there is a plan.  Try to take a step back and look at the situation from a non emotional point of view.  Call upon higher guidance from the divine universe, and have an open mind, (minus the fear and beyond the panic) so that you can receive the
transcendent guidance that will help you to set up an effective plan of action.

Then, when the plan is clear, do NOT deviate from it with impulsive actions.  I have seen people initially get past their panic, architect a really good course of action, then sabotage everything by slipping into impetuous and impulsive emotional choices!  Stayon point when the plan is right, and don’t get taken off course.

Cutting It Too Close
Sometimes, we know a decision needs to be made, but we put it off until the last minute, and almost do run out of time.  Often, these last minute choices have not so good consequences…

A man needed a new eye doctor to get new contact lenses and glasses, but kept putting it off.  Then, at the very last minute, he looked in the phone book, and seemed lucky to secure an immediate appointment with an eye doctor.  In rushing to the doctor’s office, he hadn’t thought to ask what the price of the eye exam would be.  While he was waiting to see the doctor, the receptionist said to him, “By the way, the eye exam is $253.00.” (In the area he lived in, the going rate for an eye exam was $65.00 to $75.00.)  Because of waiting so long, he didn’t feel that he had other options, so he just decided to have the eye exam. Furthermore, he tried on a pair of glasses he liked, and as he was getting comfortable with them, the receptionist quickly slipped in, “These glasses are nine ninety nine,” as in nine hundred and ninety nine dollars.  Obviously, the service and glasses were overpriced, but he since he cut everything so close time wise, he just felt he had to accept the situation as it was.

If he would have not waited till the last minute, he could have explored other options.  The divine universe could have assisted, intervened, and helped guide him to the perfect eye doctor.  So here we see that by waiting until the clock almost ran out, his ability to make the right choice was compromised.

 Running Out Of Time
Even more problematic than that though, are the situations where we actually are running out of time.  One of the most common examples of this is when women still wish to have children who are in their late thirties and into their mid forties.  A woman I grew up with got married in her late twenties, and then divorced her husband about nine years later, simply because she was bored with him.  Her marriage lacked sexual passion and excitement, so after her divorce, she decided to get involved with an edgy and wild man.  At the time, she thought she would just have a little fun, and then move on with her life.

She disregarded the fact that she didn’t have a lot of time left to have kids, or the very serious and obvious repercussions that could occur from her new relationship.  Through this single choice, her biological clock ran out and she never had kids.  This relationship also set her up to get involved with several new men who were carbon copies of the “edgy and wild man,” which left her emotionally abused, scarred, and miserable well into the future.

As many of us have seen or experienced, this literal potential of running out of time is terribly upsetting for a woman in this position.  It is similar to someone who wants to become an athlete, but is in their late twenties and fears that the clock is about to expire.  Often, when people are in old age and near the end of their physical journey, they feel compelled to make amends with those from their past where bad feelings still exist. 

On top of that, so many of us have felt the restless nagging question of, “Oh my God, I want to do something, but do I realistically have enough time left to do it?”  Often, we make choices that are highly charged and emotionally driven.  By disregarding the consequences (which are often quite obvious), we set ourselves up to run out of time.  We need to look at this dynamic, as it is often us who “shoot ourselves in the foot.”

Choices which actually cause us to run out of time may occur long before we can actually see the damage those choices ultimately do.  It is usually predicated on the erroneous belief that we have all the time in the world.  This cavalier arrogance has been at the root of many a choice that causes us to really run out of time.  

No one has unlimited chances in a given lifetime; yet we so foolishly perceive that we do.  Besides our finite chances, the repercussions of our choices can be life altering.  The consequences of these choices may echo on for years, decades, and even lifetimes.   I’ve seen people think that they can just fix it later, and continue to set themselves up for their ultimate downfall.

 How to Manage the Clock
What we need to do is to use all of tools available to us when assessing our possible choices, so that we can manage the clock.

1-First, listen to your intuition.  Your inner guidance is always there.  No matter how complicated and confusing a situation mayappear, your intuition does know the right way.  It is our job to listen, as intuition will reveal to us the truth that may not yet be apparent to our naked eyes.  Remember, intuition is beyond our literal five senses, and will simply speak to us, without explanation.  Gut level feelings and hunches are there, along with a sense of knowing, which seemingly comes out of nowhere.

2-Analyze the situation and simply look at it for what it is.  Lay out the facts, and observe all of the perceivable factors involved. Analysis will provide a complimentary tool to intuition, as both have a valid place in our decision making process.  When analyzing, you will assess what can be seen logically and factually.  Often, a situation will make complete sense if you just look at it from an objective standpoint.

3-Listen to the opinions of the people in your life who care for you.  Since those who love us have our best interests at heart, their viewpoints are coming from a place of support.  It doesn’t mean that you have to do what they recommend, but rather, consider their opinions and be open-minded.  Don’t become defensive based on the fear of losing control of your life, as it is still your decision in the end.  Often, it is the opinions of others that hold up a mirror and reveal a situation for what it is.  This reflects our own subjectivity and skewed perspectives back to us, allowing us to hopefully get past such small mindedness, and make the right choices. 

4-Ask the universe for guidance.  That old phrase of, “Ask and ye shall receive” applies here.  The universe is filled with infinite wisdom, and when we ask, the right information will come to us.  A dream, a book, a movie, something someone says in passing, our family and friends, a spiritual message, are all ways in which the universe will answer our requests!  Here is an affirmation to achieve this:  “The divine and infinite universe immediately provides me with all of the information I need to make the right decision regarding this situation for my highest good!”

5-Look inside and know that the truth does exist within yourself.  Our higher self is always present, like an eternal shining light of love, wisdom, and truthful awareness.  By directing your focus inward, you will unlock the correct answers for any given situation.  Remember, the truth lies within our very own being; the answers are there!

Perhaps most importantly, is for us to NOT look at the situation from an emotional point of view.  Try your best to disregard what you want, as what you want may NOT be what you need or for your highest good.  Remember, your emotions may not be accurate at all.  It doesn’t matter how intense and seemingly real our feelings are. Nothing will cloud, alter, color, and distort intuition, logic, perspective, awareness, the way we perceive the opinions of others, and any truthful information like our emotions do!  Again, do NOT look at the situation from the viewpoint of what you want.  Step back; try to be unattached, so that you can allow the truth to guide your choices.  This way, you won’t have to face the panic, terror, and ultimate sadness of running out of time.

I’ll Fix It in the Next Lifetime
I’ve heard people say that if they run out of time in this lifetime, they’ll just fix it in their next lifetime; as if we can reincarnate, pick up where we left off and take care of business then.  This perception is similar to watching a television episode which contains several parts which are each viewed weekly till the last part is concluded.

If only it were that simple!  It can literally take decades, hundreds of years, or even centuries for us to be able to try and fix it in a future lifetime!   “Why could it take so long,” you might ask?

1-First, you can only have your personality for one lifetime.  If you are Ken Smith in this physical lifetime, that personality cannot reincarnate again.  We architect our personality for each lifetime, which is largely based on what our lessons are, what we’ve agreed to experience, and our spiritual goals.

In your next lifetime, it is presumed that you will have new lessons, which will require a different and appropriate personality.  You won’t be able to learn the lessons from a prior life in a new and different personality.  The lessons and the personality must be compatible and work in tandem.

2-All of the people who were involved with you and your lessons must be present.  If you have karma to work out with your brother Joe, that karma cannot be completed with someone else.  It is not as if people are interchangeable parts in our spiritual growth.  The souls themselves must work things out; not have substitutes, or someone random to fill in for them.

3-All of the parties involved would need to be able to reincarnate at the same time, and have the same lessons as they did in the prior lifetime.  Also, the correct physical circumstances would need to be present on earth (which is in a constant state of change) to have that chance to work things out.  How likely is that?  Every one of these humanly uncountable variables would all need to happen simultaneously for you to have another shot at working out the lessons and karma from before – from the lifetime where you ran out of time.

Remember, it is likely that something may be karmic if we are compelled to run toward it, or to run away from it.  Because of how intensely we feel, we may not do the right thing.  Emotional intensity can be misleading, confusing, and downright inaccurate, facilitating choices which cause us to run out of time.  This makes things far worse for us!

If John had two ways to drive to work: one on the freeway, and one on the side streets, which road should he take?  The freeway is torn up with heavy construction, and it is clear that there will be problems getting stuck in traffic.  However, the side streets are not torn up with construction.  The time it would take to get to work on the side streets is somewhat slow, but completely predictable.  However, John has always loved taking the freeway, because he hates the stop and go aspect of driving on the side streets route. 

This is an important choice, because John’s boss is coming in from out of town, and John has to meet him first thing in the morning on time regarding a project they are on.  His boss is only coming in town for one day. 

John’s emotions strongly tell him to take the freeway and that it will be ok.  In fact, he’s convincing himself that it is actually his intuition that is guiding him to take the freeway.  The facts are obvious, so intuition is not needed here.  It’s clear that John should take the side streets, because he needs to make sure to get to work on time for this important meeting.  But instead, John gave into his emotions, (masquerading as intuition) and was confident that things would be just fine.   He’d be able to breeze down the freeway as he did before there was construction.  However, he got stuck on the freeway in so many delays, that he completely missed his meeting with the boss who came in from out of town. 

This one choice set up a series of irrevocable and life changing outcomes: 

1-The boss was furious, which caused John to get removed from the project. 
2-That led to John not being selected for future projects, which in turn caused him to be marginalized in the company. 
3-Eventually, John was fired. 

Initially after being fired, John was quite confident that he would bounce back by finding a great new job, and rehabilitate his career.  When things didn’t turn around quickly for John, he became frustrated and resentful of the position he found himself in.  Because his attitude and approach became worse, John’s career never recovered.  As he entered old age, he figured that he would just have to come back and fix his career in his next lifetime.

Here, John ended up in a position that none of us ever want to be in.  By looking at his story, it should inspire us to make correct choices and take care of business now – in this lifetime, and not erroneously think that we can just fix it in our next lifetime. 
 
Some Helpful Tools
There are many tools and techniques for us to use and take advantage of, which will help us to be on time, and not have the clock run out on us in our journeys:

1-To start with, think it through.  There are so very few circumstances in our lives where we absolutely must act immediately.  (How often is a robber trying to break into our place of residence where we must make a split second life or death decision?)  Work through the issues and make your decisions and choices from a calm, unattached perspective.  Don’t be in a hurry!  Remember the phrase, “When in doubt, do nothing.”  It is usually us who set up our own problems, and by thinking it all through, things will turn out for the best.

2-The idea is to resolve negative karma; not create more.  As I stated earlier, it is likely that something may be karmic if we are compelled to run toward it, or to run away from it.  When you’re feeling intensely about something, know that it is probably karmic
in nature.  Therefore, it takes extra attention and focus to make the right choices – not necessarily the ones that feel good emotionally.  Step back from your emotions, use all of the tools the universe affords us, and make the choices that resolve karma.

3-Fulfill your destiny.  You have agreed to this journey, and laid out the spiritual road map and plan that is only yours by divine right.  Your soul yearns to fulfill this destiny, as you then grow, and offer your irreplaceable contributions to the collective.  It is all good!  Only you can do what you agreed to come here to do.  No one else can ever offer what only you can offer.  Don’t deny this great plan that you have set up.  Definitely fulfill it with all of your strength!

4-Avoid regret and self destruction.  I have seen people make such obviously self defeating choices, miss their opportunities to achieve their dreams, and end up with tremendous regret and debilitating self destruction in the end.  You can avoid this mess by understanding how time doesn’t wait for anyone.  Don’t act carelessly, and never think for a minute that you have all the time in the world.  None of us do!

Often people play games with their spiritual awareness and try to have it both ways.  It’s the concept of talking the talk, but not walking the walk.  For these people, they can voice the right spiritual lingo, and profess to understand all of the necessary tools.  However, when it comes to their own emotions, they throw it all out the window, and simply do what they want.  These choices are not well thought out, reasoned or intuited, but merely acted out based on emotions which are not centered, healthy, or spiritual. 

Then, the ego typically thinks that everything can just be fixed.  But that is hardly the case.  Rationalizations don’t make a self debilitating choice turn back the clock and allow us to start over. As shown throughout this writing, the consequences for our choices can cause us to run out of time in this lifetime; and then have it all put on hold indefinitely, till we have another potential opportunity in a future lifetime to fulfill our destiny.

Instead of the ego being in control, keep the ego in check by rising above it when making decisions.  Truly use all of the tools available to you, and be humble.  This way, regret and self destruction can be avoided.

5-Others can help.  Remember, none of us can do it all alone.  If we could, we would be able to reproduce by ourselves, and bury ourselves when we leave our bodies.  We are all interconnected and dependent on each other to make this journey work.  Don’t be afraid to reach out to a therapist, a psychic, a life coach, or anyone who can help you.  As mentioned earlier, friends and family who care for you can also assist.  Surprisingly, even people you might not think have a lot of awareness of what you’re going through can startle you with the divine messages they bring through.  We all help and teach each other!   Be open to the assistance others will offer you.

6-Avoid carrying it with you past this lifetime.  Don’t be a cliché of your age bracket.  Typically, teenagers haven’t the slightest clue as to their mortality.  People in their twenties usually don’t either.  Usually, it isn’t until we reach middle age and old age that we start becoming aware that the clock is ticking.  By then, it may be too late to fix our choices and manifest our dreams. 

If you’re young, don’t be cavalier, careless and arrogant, as the clock in this lifetime doesn’t keep ticking forever.  If you’re in middle age or older, know that as long as you’re in this physical lifetime, the clock is still running, and you can make choices that improve your situation.  Be conscious that the clock is finite, and don’t squander time.  This is not to say to be afraid of dying and live in fear.  Not at all. 

Be aware that there is a cosmic plan, which ties into time as we experience it here on earth.  There is a time where the universe sets things up for us.  Everything falls into place for you to make the right choices.  This can be referred to as, “When nature supports a decision, you know it’s the right one.”   Nature will lay it all out for you, but you have to make the appropriate choices.  Again, rise above your ego, be extremely careful of the role your emotions play, and use all of the tools afforded you.

None of us want to carry the weight of such heavy baggage with us past this lifetime.  It can be devastating for us to look back on our most recent physical incarnation after we’ve transitioned into spirit, see all of our missed opportunities, and have to live with that.  Then, we can only hope and wait for future physical lifetimes to possibly “get it right.”

Some Words of Inspiration
It’s reasonable to assume that all of us have feared running out of time, and felt that the time for us to manifest our dreams has expired.  However, as long as we’re in this incarnation, the clock is still running, and progress can be made.  We can only do what we’ve agreed to do here on earth while we’re in our physical body. It cannot be done after we’ve transitioned and are on the other side.  Since we are right here – right now, let’s take a look at the clock and know that the power is in this very moment!

Instead of living with regret, fear and apprehension, take advantage of this incredible opportunity.  You have all that you need to work with and manage the clock. 

Just think of it:  your personality, physical body, mind, abilities, logic, intuition, and internal awareness will help you to make the right choices.  The knowledge of the entire universe is yours, including the infinite tools of truth, guidance, awareness and wisdom that are eternal.  Take advantage of the benefit of family and friends who love, care for, and support you, along with any other people who will assist you.  Your spiritual teachers and loved ones on the other side will always provide support, guidance, messages, love, and protection for you.  All of the necessary physical circumstances, along with all of the people needed to fulfill your destiny and complete your journey on time are in the
picture.  This has already been agreed to before you came into this lifetime.  Since the stage has been set, opportunity is now here for you. 

 Don’t be afraid of running out time; yet don’t make foolish choices and squander the clock either.  Time is not your enemy.  Know deep within that time is your friend, and that time is on your side!  Everyone and everything is in place – so don’t miss out.  This physical lifetime you’re currently in is not just a “once in a lifetime opportunity,” but rather, a “once in an eternity opportunity!”  May your dreams come true; on time — right at the perfect time.

 If you are interested in having a reading with Jim1537, click here.

There’s this old joke that goes like this:

A pious man was caught in a flood and the water was creeping upwards as he sat in his house. He prayed and prayed that God would save him. When the water was approaching the porch, someone in a truck drove up, and offered him a ride. He said, “No, God will save me.”

As the water crept over the porch, a boat came by and a young man shouted for him to get in. Once again, the pious man said, “No, God will save me.”

A short while later, now perched atop his roof, he saw a helicopter fly by, trying to rescue him. Once again, he refused, saying, “No, God will save me.” He then drowned.

Arriving in heaven, he met the glorious God Almighty. The man’s first question of God was, “Lord, why didn’t You save me?” And God replied, “My son, I tried saving you three times! I sent a truck, a boat, and a helicopter! What more did you want?”

The story’s point is obvious:  The man was so busy waiting for God to save him in a miraculous way, that he ignored the help he was being sent. It’s food for thought: Is the universe sending something to help you that you’re not seeing?

If you are interested in having a reading with Jim1537, click here.

When someone we love transitions into spirit, it can leave us with a gaping hole in our hearts and in our lives.  It’s hard to grasp such an overwhelming and painful loss, unless and until we’ve lived through it.  We expect the phone to ring with them being on the other end — or to come home and there they are, just like it used to be.  But sooner or later, the reality kicks in — they really are gone…and gone for good. 

We will no longer see them in the flesh with our own two eyes, say hello to them, have a conversation, go to dinner, or see them on the holidays anymore.  The emptiness can seem as big as the size of eternity itself, with only our own alienating emotions, many of which are devastating, remaining with us.  We miss our loved ones, and cry, as if a tape loop of pain and misery just repeats itself over and over again… What can we do to find a sense of internal peace with our life altering loss?

The first question I would pose is, “Are they really and truly gone?  Is their “death” like the finale of a movie; the screen says “the end,” and then just goes black…?  Is the story over with, like the last page of a book you’ve just finished…?”  People use the word “death” in such a matter of fact way when referring to anyone leaving this earth. Also, death is the ultimate finality.

 But from a spiritual perspective, a different word may say it best when our loved ones leave this earth; one that says it much more clearly — that word is “transition,” as when our loved ones have transitioned from their physical existence to the other side, where consciousness continues in a different way.  Simply stated, they have moved on, and continue their existence in a new reality.

Think of your loved ones who have transitioned to the other side continuing their journey like the universe we see around us:  grass grows, seasons change, flowers bloom and trees keep rising and tower above us.  They don’t just return to dust – only the physical body does.  Their consciousness continues on in a spiritual reality.  And just like our relationships with people vary in the physical world, the roles our loved ones on the other side do or don’t play in our lives from the other side are multi faceted, with many variables. 

Misconceptions and Falsehoods

I would first like to address with you the many misconceptions, erroneous concepts and falsehoods which people believe regarding their loved ones on the other side and their roles in our earthly journey. These clarifications are designed to offer an accurate perspective regarding the process of our connection to our loved ones in spirit.

1) – Our loved ones are with us and/or supposed to be with us every single day 

This simply is not true.  If they were meant to be with us every day, they would still be here.  They have transitioned, because it was their time to move on, and our time to experience this separation as well.  It can be thought of like a child leaving home to go to college.  However, that does not mean that our ties with them are cut.

It would be like you living in New York, and someone you love moving to Chicago.  Would you be able to see them every single day?  Could they be there with you always? We would still talk with them on the phone, send emails, texts, etc. and indeed see them, but less frequently.  Just like that person who moved to Chicago, when someone we love transitions into spirit, they are not gone forever, just not as much in contact with us as they may have been before. 

Right after a person passes on, they may spend a lot of time around you immediately after they pass.  Sometimes they need to still feel what they’re familiar with, to ease into their new spiritual journey.  They may also want you to feel them to make the process of their transition easier for you.  As time goes on, they should begin moving away from you and focusing on the continuation of their own spiritual journey.  This would mean that contact with them should be lessened.

2) – Once on the Spiritual plane, our loved ones are enlightened

As some people here on the earth plane are spiritually unevolved, while others are highly evolved, it is the same thing on the other side.  Just because someone passes over, does not mean that they are, or become, enlightened.  That assumption cannot be made, in the same way one couldn’t presume that all human beings are either non enlightened or enlightened.  As people always have the option to grow, so do spirits.  While some spirits choose to grow and others don’t, this needs to be looked completely on a case-by-case basis.  Often, a spirit comes through to us in a very similar way as to who they were here on earth and maintain many of their former personality traits; meaning if Dad was humorous as Dad, he may still be that way on the other side.

 3) – Our loved ones become our master teachers and spiritual guides

Just because we may have a connection with our loved ones on the other side, does not mean that they are in a position to guide and teach us on a cosmic level.  First and foremost, our loved ones would have to have the universal knowledge, wisdom and awareness to be able to be our master teachers – the equivalent of a PHD here on earth.  Just because they love us has nothing to do with their spiritual awareness, and what they can offer to us as teachers on a spiritual level for our growth.

When they don’t or can’t come through to us

Sometimes, our loved ones don’t know how, or can’t, come through to us.  As we would like to believe that our loved ones on the other side do indeed come through, there are certain cases however, where they don’t.  Let me explain some of the reasons as to why.

1) – They may be sleeping or resting on the other side 

Especially if they had a long-standing illness on earth, a difficult human life, or a tough transition, they may be in an extended state of rest.  This would be for them to rejuvenate, let go of the attachment to what happened before, in preparation for their new spiritual journey.

2) – They don’t know that they can

Sometimes, a spirit doesn’t actually know that they can come through and connect with us.  It may seem odd, as if one could ask, “In spirit, shouldn’t they know they can reach us here?”  Not necessarily.  If they were closed minded on the physical plane, and didn’t believe spirits could communicate with us then, they may still feel the same.  Even though they are now in spirit, they still may not believe that spirits can communicate with human beings.  Therefore, they don’t know that they are able to reach us.

3) – Have not yet developed the skills

The ability to come through to us from the other side is not a natural given skill.  Unlike being born and naturally being able to breathe without being taught, spirits must learn, or already know how to connect with us.  Our transitioned loved ones must have either: A) – Developed this skill set in another lifetime, or between former lifetimes and still have access to these skills, or B) – Learn these skills now on the other side from one of their master spiritual teachers.  It is very similar to anything studied in school on earth: You have a teacher who instructs you, so you can learn.

 4) – It may not be for the highest good, yet

For reasons we may not understand, it may not be spiritually for the highest good for a loved one to come through from the other side.  It can be an issue of timing:  You may need to deal with certain lessons on your own for your own growth before they are supposed to come through.  There can also be lessons involved that are too complex for us as human beings to understand.  What if both of you are to learn to separate, so that the two of you can learn a lesson of independence from each other?  If the loved one in question was instructed by their master teachers to not come through and if they were listening to and following this guidance, they would heed these instructions, until the time may be right for them to reach out to you.

 5) – They may not be ready to

Sometimes, if the relationship between you and them had been strained, negative or painful on earth, a spirit on the other side may not be ready to come through to us.  Here, they may simply be being stuck and holding onto the negativity they carried over with them from when they were here.  They may have not spiritually grown in such a way to put whatever negative happened between the two of you behind them, at least yet. 

Often, a loved one who transitions may retain a great deal of the personality qualities they possessed when they were here as a human being.  Leaving this world in and of itself does not necessarily reflect on one’s growth and evolution. Again, a spirit, just like a person, may either choose to grow or not to.  In the same way we are not forced to grow here, neither are spirits on the other side.  Hopefully, in time, the negativity will be gotten past, so that a positive connection can be established.

Why and when they do come through to us

One of the first questions you may ask is, “If our loved ones there do come through, does that mean that they can see us?  Do they see what we go through in our everyday lives?  Do they watch over us?”

Our loved ones on the other side certainly don’t watch or view our every move.  Besides violating our privacy, it would not be appropriate for them or for us from a spiritual perspective to (in a sense) be eavesdropping on us all of the time.  They, like us, are also supposed to be learning, evolving and growing.  Remember, they are there and we are here.  Even though the earth plane and the other side are interconnected, it is not as if our loved ones there watch our lives like sitting in front of a TV and watching every scene of a movie. 

They may watch over us to a point; like a parent who’s child has moved out of the house, but is still in contact with them.  The parent still plays a potentially protective role, but more from a distance, then in the way a parent would watch over a toddler.  They may receive information from their master teachers as to the up and coming events in our lives. They will see certain things, perhaps the portions of our journeys that they are spiritually supposed to see, whereby they may be able to offer assistance to us if and when they come through. They themselves may sense if something is wrong, as the connection we have with them, although invisible to our physical eyes, does exist, and it can be thought of as a long distance telephone line between you and they.

With looking at how, when and why our transitioned loved ones come through, there are so many different instances and variables involved.  Here, let’s look at these many dynamics:

1) – To offer love and comfort

Our loved ones will frequently come through to us to offer love, comfort and support, especially in times of stress and difficulty.  Since we are familiar with their essence and energy, we are already connected to them; therefore, we can receive the energy flow they are sending to us.  As they want to help us, they will send this energy toward us and since thought is reality, these “thoughts” of love they project toward us do indeed reach us, and ultimately, help us.

2) – To offer messages

Messages from our loved ones on the other side can be helpful to us, especially because they can assist us in our earthly journeys.  These messages can be received by us directly: 

• We may be able to hear them in our awake state, as in hearing the actual words or portions of the words they are offering to us.  Even if we do not have the gift of mediumship, our special bond with a loved one on the other side may allow us to hear them, because of the depth of our connection and the openness we feel toward them.  
•  Coming to us in a dream with messages, where we may be more likely to hear them, as our normal daily defenses our relaxed and let down.  In most cases when we dream of someone who has passed on, it actually is contact from the one we’re dreaming of.
• We may receive these messages subconsciously and not hear them consciously, at least at first.  These messages will eventually filter up through the subconscious where we may hear them cognitively.  Or we will absorb and process these messages energetically and internally, similar to the way our bodies absorb the food we eat, and utilize it correctly.  Meaning, we may not consciously know what they have said to us, but on a deeper level from within, these messages help us in the way we direct our choices, acts, thoughts, words and deeds.
• Messages may also come through to another family member or loved one who is here on earth.  A spirit medium can also be utilized, as sometimes we or those close to us are not able to receive these messages as that takes a special gift and skill, and/or we are too close to the situation to be objective and simply hear what is being communicated from the other side.  Also, a medium may be able to pick up more specific information, especially if there is important and pertinent guidance that is time based to what is going on at this time in one’s life.

 These messages can vary as much as their communication would have when they were still here in the physical world including:

• Issue warnings of danger and help you to avoid pitfalls, bad decisions and potential problems.
• Advise you to extricate yourself from negative situations, such as a destructive romantic relationship.
• Let you know of conditions to come, whether they are negative or positive, so that you can make the most of what life holds in store for you.
• Offer encouragement for you to make good choices, manifest your dreams, prosperity, and support you in building a positive journey.
• Helping to provide vibrational protection for us to help shield us from danger and harm.
• Positive prayers from the other side that assist us in our journeys.  

 In addition, there can be other messages that are personal to you and them to confirm their presence, which establishes a connection and strengthens the bond that has been there.

Sometimes our loved ones come through with their own unique stamp of individuality, which will represent qualities that would identify them to you as you knew them to be.  It they were judgmental here, they may be there as well.  If they were pushy when human, they may still be just as pushy over there, and if they were gentle when they were in the physical plane, they may come through with a gentle approach in their communication with you.

3) – To make amends

Sometimes there had been prior difficultly in the physical world between our loved ones (now on the other side), and us.  When those loved ones have grown to realize that it is time to heal whatever issues and rifts had existed between them and us, they will come through with a healing message.  They are not being stubborn about it anymore, or defensive, as they are ready to bury the hatchet, so to speak.  This can involve an apology from them to us, or a sense of leaving the past behind.  This type of healing is very positive, as it helps all concerned advance and move forward from a spiritual perspective.

4) – To be a “spokesperson”

If our higher teachers wish to reach us, they will sometimes have the messages relayed through one of our loved ones in spirit.  Since we are familiar and comfortable with the energy of these loved ones, we are more likely to be able to sense, feel, and hear them.  Also, we would trust them, so when their energy came through to us, we would be less likely to close off, shut down, or dismiss what was being sent to us from spirit.  In a sense, our transitioned loved ones serve as being a “spokesperson” for the universal teachers who have the wisdom to guide us, because they lack the personal connection we have felt with those we have loved.

 Spiritual Timing

The master teachers know when it is spiritually the right time for our loved ones to come through.  Of course, these teachers know what is for the highest good of all concerned; therefore, they would guide our loved ones there to reach us here when they are supposed to.  Since there may be lessons involved that we, as people don’t understand, the timing may be different than what we as human beings want. 

There are many factors that need to be taken into consideration regarding the timing of a message:  When are we ready to receive it – how does it tie into the lessons needing to being learned — and when will it be most helpful – and when is it spiritually the correct time?  In the same way you wouldn’t drive a car at age 6 and you would need to wait till you were older and more mature, the same thing applies with when we should receive certain information from the spirit world.

When the time is right, spirit will reach us.  It is our job to wait patiently, and then receive what does come through, knowing that God’s perfect timing will apply to when and how our transitioned loved ones connect with us.

 What not to do

In the same way I just mentioned how we may need to be patient regarding the time frame of when a message comes through to us, there are also certain things we should not do regarding our loved ones who are now on the other side.  It is important to understand the spiritual parameters that guide our relationships to our transitioned loved ones.

1) – Do not expect them to tell you want you want to hear

Often, we are looking for confirmation, or to have our own feelings reinforced by our loved ones on the other side.  However, we can never expect this of them.  Certainly, they are not connecting with us merely to parrot our own existing viewpoint – rather, they are coming through to guide us, help us and potentially enlighten our reality.

2) – Do not expect them to solve your problems

Often, we give a false power to those we love who are now in spirit, as if they are God almighty.  Just like we are in a state of evolution, so are they.  And in the same way we are in the driver’s seat of our journey, our transitioned loved ones are only passengers.  We must always take responsibility for our problems and our actions and choices to hopefully resolve these issues.  Our loved ones from spirit can assist, offer guidance, insight, love, and support, but they cannot solve our problems for us.

3) – Do not expect them to be more spiritually evolved than they are

We often assume that since someone is on the other side, that automatically means that they are high in consciousness – and potentially spiritually enlightened.  This simply cannot be assumed.  In the same way there are people of every possible level of consciousness on earth, it is the same on the other side.  There are those who have not yet advanced, while others have taken the opportunity to grow spiritually.  Do not assume that they have grown, as it would need to be assessed on a case-by-case basis.

 4) – Do not assume what spirit will say to you

Do not pre-script in your mind what messages may come through for you from the other side.  Such assumptions can limit what you are open to receive, and willing to hear.  As spirit may often surprise us with insights that are not currently what we may relate to or understand, we must always approach any message from the other side with a completely open mind.

5) – Do not pull on them

This is perhaps the most important “do not” being addressed here.  If we pull on our transitioned loved ones, we hold them back.  By wanting them to be with us, near us and communicating with us all of the time or frequently, we get in the way of the divine plan.  If our loved ones are in spirit, they are not supposed to be with us in our daily lives.  By holding onto them and pulling on them, we actually prevent them from growing.  Because they love us, they may feel obligated to try and accommodate our wishes, therefore, not move forward with their own spiritual growth.  We should absolutely never pull on them, as they will be there for us if and when it is appropriate from a higher point of view – not just from the perspective of what we emotionally want.

Pets who have crossed over

For many of us, are pets are as close to us as our human loved ones.  When our pets transition to the other side, it can be as devastating as a loss of a person we care for.  Many of my clients have asked me, “Are my pets still connected to me once they’ve passed on?”  The answer is yes, they still remain connected to us.

Animals cross over, and do go into a special place on the other side of light, love and supreme joy.  They are present alongside other animals, and spiritual guides.  (This may involve them being with the same animal friends they knew here; if your family had two dogs who crossed over, they would still be together.)  Often, they run through the fields and do what you would think they would do. 

Regarding us who are still here, they do sometimes come around the house, or in the back yard where they use to play.  Often, my wife and I have seen our own transitioned dogs running through the yard, or being in the house, however, they are not always with us – just occasionally.  As the love they feel for us is like a cord that connects us to them spiritually and forever, they still come back and forth to us in the physical plane, as they feel the same love for us.

The love that is forever

In the same way that our pets love us forever, so do our loved ones (once in the human form), who are now on the other side in spirit. Even though they’re gone from physical sight and our day-to-day lives, they are not absent from our hearts. 

 In reality, the eternal, indestructible and endless cord of love connects us to our loved ones on the other side.  There are no barriers of time and space that can break that tie.  It is absolutely unable to be broken…

And while there are many specifics as to why, how, and when our loved ones from spirit do and don’t come through to us, the energy – the constant flow of unconditional love between us remains with us for all seasons and for all of eternity.  Think of it like an endless and eternal light that shines brightly through all of the passages of our lives – from darkness to confusion, to pain, happiness and elation!  We are comforted by the love that envelops and supports us from the other side, in the same way we felt cradled as infants in the protective arms of those who loved and nurtured us. 

And when they are supposed to help us, they will – when a message is supposed to reach us, it will be offered – as protection is necessary to shield us from danger and harm, it will be there – and most of all, we know that the love that has been built between us is not temporary; like our earthly existences that do come to an end, bur rather, as eternal as eternity is itself.

If you are interested in having a reading with Jim1537, click here.

When someone hurts us and wrongs us, it triggers a series of internal emotions: starting with the initial shock, to confusion and disillusionment as to why it happened, eventually leading to the feeling of victimization.  Once we identify with being a victim, though, that progresses to even worse feelings such as long term resentment and rage, which can potentially settle into chronic bitterness.  Once we’ve become a bitter person, it is quite hard for us to be at peace, not only with what we’ve been through, but with our lives on any level.  The bitterness serves as a form of ever growing negative bacteria throughout our systems. 

It’s always hardest when we have been close to the person who has wronged us.  We all can pretty much conceive of strangers doing bad things to people; but it is difficult for us to accept that someone who is connected to us – a person we may have even loved, hurting us so badly.  Our personal connection to them presumably makes us feel as if they wouldn’t do something terrible to us.  So when it does, the pain is so much more egregious, because of the depth of our feelings we have for that individual.  We all like to believe that those we love will also care for us in return and when they seriously harm and even destroy our lives, it can be just devastating. 

Then when we look at this person, we notice that perhaps they seem to be doing ok, even though our lives are in shambles – in fact, they always appear to be moving along just fine with their own life – they are not hurting at all like we are!  And we ask ourselves, “How come nothing bad ever happens to them and why don’t they ever get back what they’ve done to others?”  Clarifying these issues from a spiritual perspective is the point of this writing.

As we look at the process of the actions which have been done toward us and how they affect us, we must also look at the same cause and effect relationship spiritually.  According to the law of karma, whatever is done by a person (to us), comes back to that individual.  As you may remember in a previous newsletter, the word karma comes from a Sanskrit root that means “to do.” This refers to the consequences of our actions from past lives and this lifetime, too.  Also, karma can mean “comeback.” All we have done before comes back to us, as in what we have done prior.  In the short of it, from a spiritual point of view, whatever someone has done to you, in time will come back to them.  Since karma is neutral and can either be “good” or “bad,” for the purpose of this writing, all of the karma referred to below will be negative or “bad” karma.

Something I hear frequently from clients is how they are disillusioned and frustrated with the concept of “karma,” as they have not yet seen any negative repercussions come back to the person who has harmed them.  It’s as if they believe that if they were victimized, let’s say in January 2008, that sometime shortly after, weeks or maybe months, that the person who harmed them would and should receive a pay back.  However, this hardly ever happens in such short time frames after the initial hurtful act was done.

This can be one of the most confusing aspects of the law of karma. Especially when someone is feeling hurt by another, it is hard to grasp that it just may take quite a long time for the repercussions to come back to the perpetrator.  Simply stated, there is no strict time frame as to when karma will comeback.  Meaning, we may not see the repercussions occur to the person who has hurt us in the time period that we are emotionally expecting at all.

The exact time when karma comes back to an individual is dependent on when God and the lords of karma (the spiritual forces who govern and oversee karma in the physical world), decide that the time period is correct.  It can be today, tomorrow, years, decades and even lifetimes before karma comes back to an individual. Yes, it can even take lifetimes for it to come back!

You might ask, “Why is the time so variable?”  In part, it depends on how spiritually evolved one is.  The less evolved they are, the more likely karma will come back to them slowly.  In a sense, they may not “know any better.”  However, for someone who does indeed know better and understands the consequences for his or her actions, it is more likely that karma will come back far more rapidly as they, on the other hand, are more spiritually evolved.

Often, God will give an individual many chances to learn their lesson before karma comes back, with the hope that they can spiritually grow and begin atoning for their negative past deeds.  It is sort of like someone being on probation for a crime they committed; with probation, it is hoped that this individual will come to terms with their bad acts and make a change for the better.

Another noteworthy thought is that some people have “instant karma” karma in this lifetime.  Everything seems to come back to them immediately.  That is not random or by accident.  It is part of their spiritual plan.  Whatever they do is supposed to come back immediately, as it forces them to deal with and take notice of the repercussions for their actions.  With instant karma, it becomes less likely to avoid acknowledging their karmic consequences – as those consequences are right in front of them.

In addition, karma needs to come back at the correct time. That time may need to be in line with when someone is supposed to (from a spiritual point of view) from their consequences.  Also, the physical settings and circumstances need to be able to facilitate when the karma occurs.  Since the physical world changes every day, there is the specific time when things need to occur.  It is the same as when there is a specific time for a plane to take off for a destination.

There may also be past life situations and circumstances that cannot be humanly perceived.  What occurred in prior lifetimes also has a huge impact on when karma may come back in this lifetime.  We may not see these time frames as human beings, as there is no way we can prove what happened in prior lifetimes between the individuals involved. For example, Susan may have left her husband Tom in another lifetime for his best friend, which devastated Tom.  In this lifetime, Susan and Tom agreed (before this incarnation) that in this lifetime, Tom would indeed leave his wife Susan.  If we didn’t know the back-story, it could seem wrong, however, there is always more than meets our physical eyes.

But, it always does come back, and that is not meant as a punitive statement.  It is just a natural law of the universe.  Just because we may not witness the comeback, doesn’t mean that it won’t happen.  It always does happen in due time. 

Besides the question of “when” karma comes back, there is also the question of “who” will indeed bring the repercussions to bear.  You might question, “If someone hurt me, wouldn’t I have to be the person who does the same thing to them in return?  After all, it was done to me.”   Not necessarily so.  Often, it is a person entirely different than the person who was originally hurt.  For example:  If a woman’s husband cheated on her and left her for another woman, the other woman may end up being the one who in turn, cheats on him.  Here, it wasn’t his ex wife who paid him back, but it was the other woman.

Often, the person originally wronged is not in a position in the physical world to be the one to facilitate the consequence.  Let’s say, a man robbed a woman in Seattle (who herself continued to reside in Seattle). The robber then moved to New York, so the victim of the robbery would not be anywhere near the robber to potentially pay him back.  If the lords of karma were to bring the karmic repercussion to bear on the robber while the victim was still living in Seattle, another person could be the vehicle for the karma to bear; someone who would be in the vicinity of the robber.

If the original “victim” transitioned into spirit before the time period of the karma to come back to the perpetrator, that “victim” wouldn’t be present in the human form to be a part of that karmic payback; so another person would need to be the catalyst for the karmic consequence.

Also, a person originally wronged may have grown in such a way that he or she wouldn’t be able to act in a punitive way toward the person who once hurt them.  If a man physically attacked another man and seriously injured him (and that man grew to forgive his attacker and had come to a place of peace), he may not be the person who brings the repercussions into being.  He was beyond that energy in consciousness – (one that would have felt compelled to attack back), therefore, through his spiritual growth, he had transcended the negative energy of what happened before.

Besides the “when” and the “who” of karma’s come back, there is also the question of “how.”  How does karma come back?  Let’s look at a situation:  Wouldn’t it make sense that if John ruined the career of Valerie on purpose, that at some point (and even perhaps by a different person other than Valerie), John would have his career ruined in exactly the same way he once did to Valerie? 

Again, not necessarily so.  John’s career actually ended up doing fine in this lifetime, even though he destroyed Valerie’s.  So you might ask, “Why wouldn’t John’s career end up getting ruined, as he did to Valerie’s?  Doesn’t what goes around, come around?”  Often, karma comes back to a person in an entirely different way or in a different area of their life than which the original karma was created.  Karma is not always a mirror of what originally occurred.

Regarding John, even though his career remained intact, his house burned down, plus he had two serious accidents that involved slipping and falling.  All of these problems would have not happened had he not ruined Valerie’s career, as the negative energy he created came back to him, albeit in a different way. 

Let’s say, a man named Joe cheated on several women and wreaked havoc in their lives.  None of these women ever cheated on Joe in return, and in addition, no other new women cheated on him in the future either as a form of payback.  It might seem like Joe “got away with it,” as if he had his fun, deceived multiple women, and just rode off into the sunset.  However, Joe developed serious and life debilitating health problems, ones that wouldn’t have manifested had he not hurt so many of these women and created so much negativity.  It all did come back to him, but in a completely different way than what Joe originally did.  On top of that, Joe may have to work all of this out with these women in subsequent lifetimes, as it was not circumstantially possible to do so in everyone’s current incarnation.

With Joe’s situation, along with all of the above-mentioned examples, karmic repercussions can be quite difficult for us to understand.  So as we look at the “when,” “who,” and “how” karma comes back, it is so much more intricate, multi faceted and complicated in its applications that we may have ever thought prior.

The same frustrations we have all felt regarding it seeming like nothing bad ever happens to those who have hurt us, doesn’t just apply to our daily lives, but also to our court system.  Our courts are supposed to provide justice and repercussions for those who have wronged us – in the same way we believe that karma will come back to those who have hurt us in day to day life.  However, that is not how it always appears to be.

Certainly all of us have seen or experienced court verdicts that were (from a human point of view) unjust.  Murderers walk away seemingly scott free and people get falsely convicted everyday.  You could say, “Where is the karmic justice in that?”  Again, never lose sight of the fact that: 

We don’t know the past life ramifications involved, which means that there may be more complicated lessons and past occurrences between the parties involved that we could ever perceive.

 Karma may not come back in the way, time or fashion we feel is humanly right, meaning that karmic justice may be served subsequent to an “unfair” court verdict: later in this lifetime or in future incarnations.

Only God knows for sure what the karma actually is, therefore, we can’t judge things merely based on current appearances and circumstances. 

Regarding the justice system, here is a question worth asking:  Does a guilty verdict and punishment (prison, execution) by the state constitute a karmic consequence?  It may be part of the karmic consequence, although there is still the issue of the “victim” and / or “victims” involved and what happened to their lives from the negative deeds both internally and externally.  In addition to negative actions, the emotions we feel as “victims” has a tremendous amount to do with how karma is created.  As emotions do create karma, the intensity of such feelings as: hurt, anger, rage, vindictiveness, self-pity and bitterness, function as handcuffs between the parties involved.  With these negative emotions engaged, not only is karma set into motion, but it binds everyone involved to have to come face to face with it all again.  You might say ask, “What for?  Hasn’t the “victim” suffered enough?”  It has to be dealt with again so that complete peace and resolution will ultimately be achieved.

It is most important to differentiate here between God’s eternal karmic justice and justice here on earth, which of course, appears flawed to us.  But in cosmic terms, is it really?   We are all so familiar with the Bible phrase: “An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.”  With that old mainstay, we tend to think of karma as bringing about justice; justice in very literal terms – as if to say that if you punched me on Monday, therefore I will punch you soon afterwards. 

Even though it may take a lot of time, and not be perceived in ways that make sense to us, karmic justice is always ultimately and perfectly served from a spiritual perspective.  In reality, God is ultimately not unfair; even though we all have felt those utterly painful emotions that cause us to yell out, “Life just isn’t fair!”

With the nagging question of “How come nothing bad ever happens to them,” we become imprisoned by feelings of hurt, resentment and worst of all, bitterness.  However, we must understand that regarding karma, God and the lords of karma are in charge, not us – and they do know what to do.  We cannot hold onto the feeling that somehow we know and have the right to declare what is right, just, and ultimately, what is supposed to occur once we’ve been wronged.  In our emotional subjectivity, we lose any and all sight of looking at our experiences from a point of spiritual overview.  And it’s not to say that our feelings are wrong; however, emotions may not represent cosmic truth, but rather, simply what we feel as people. 

People want to feel avenged and revenged…. Sometimes, they feel revenge is absolutely necessary to even the score and move on.  However, these needs are not always based on a vindictive need to get even.  A person may simply feel that they really must be vindicated and have closure to put what happened behind them.  However, we must try to let go of these needs, so we can begin putting out lives back together, as there is no guarantee that we will feel avenged, revenged and vindicated regarding what has occurred.

We may have gone through these experiences to learn, and what we are supposed to learn from being wronged, may be different that what we want.  Wanting to get even with others based on being hurt is like drinking poison – and thinking that it will somehow poison the other person.  The more we desire to see it all come back to another, the more we suffer, through indulging in repeated doses of emotional negativity – equivalent to literally poisoning ourselves – a little at a time.

I remember a female client of mine who had dated a male co-worker who had a history of non-commitment to the women he dated.  However, she stubbornly held onto the idea that this “relationship” would evolve into something much more, even though I repeatedly told her that this man would never love or care for her.  So when things didn’t go the way she intended and it all fell apart, she tried to “get even,” by trying to get him to lose his job.  Here, she was trying to take the place of the lords of karma by bringing the karma to bear on this man in the way she felt was right and justified.

What happened however, is that through her negative act, it all came back to her – and everyone in the office turned against her.  Even though she may have been hurt, indulging in this negativity came back to harm her.  It would have served her better to work on releasing this man, and praying for forgiveness.

So instead of waiting and hoping for someone to “get theirs,” it is our job to begin forgiving.  We must work on forgiving those who have wronged, hurt us, or even destroyed our lives.  Without forgiveness, we will never be free, or happy at all.  Also, if we hold onto negative emotions, we are handcuffing ourselves to the person and what they have done to us – and putting ourselves in a prison.  If we are internally “locked up,” most assuredly, we will become imprisoned externally in our lives as well, whether through illness, poverty, accidents, or restrictions that bind us. 

I completely understand how you feel if you keep coming back to that nagging question, “How come nothing bad ever happens to them?”  Inside, you feel that they did these horrible things and simply got away with it.  Instead, we need to replace that question by affirming, “God blesses this situation and all is resolved for the highest peace and highest good.”  Also, one could day, “I wish this person well and affirm that all is peaceful between us.”  I know how hard it is to let go – but we must all try our best to do so. 

By releasing the burden of all that has happened to divine love, we give it all up to God Almighty, who DOES know what’s best for all parties concerned.  And if we can wish well upon all who have harmed us, we become free – free like a bird.  It is the heaviness of negative emotions that weigh us down, even to the point of crippling us:  emotionally, physically, financially and in all ways.  By blessing those who have hurt us, we will bring good back to us.  Why?  Because we tend to attract what we vibrate to.  And with perfect peace, we will see wondrous miracles come to us.

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There is a great book my wife picked up called “Not Quite What I Was Planning” edited by Smith Magazine.  Legend has it that Ernest Hemingway was once challenged to write a story in six words.   According to this legend, he came back with “For sale: baby shoes, never worn.”  Some say this was his best work, while others say he never wrote these six words at all.  However, the six-word story was born and has been popping up ever since.  Smith Magazine invited people (including writers famous and obscure) to submit their own six word memoirs, and the book is the fascinating result.

I found many of these six-word memoirs compelling and riveting, but one really jumped out to me, as I feel it relates to so many of the issues my clients are going through.  The memoir by Adam Blackman that moved me is: “God Chose.  Said no.  Now what?”  These brilliant six words pose the question, When God says no to us, what happens from there in our lives and how do we best proceed forward?  Adding clarity to this question is the purpose of this writing. As an homage to the book, all the section headings are in a six word format…

We believe God will say yes!

We all like to believe that God will indeed grant our prayers and give us what we want.  Since we feel that our prayers and requests our valid, we assume that God must feel the same way too.  However, that assumption may not always be true.  We say affirmations; we visualize our heart’s desire and do everything in our power to manifest our dreams.  But what do we do when these prayers don’t happen, or at best, only partially happen in a way that is ultimately incomplete?  Do we still hold on, or do we let go?  If we let go, what do replace our original prayers and requests with, when instead of God saying yes as we assumed, God indeed says no? 

Delayed, or partially happens.  Doesn’t happen.

Sometimes what we want is delayed.  It may seem like a no, but in time, it will be a yes.  In these instances, we may be ready to give up, or still hold on, however, in time, the request is granted.  This would indicate that what we wanted is for our highest good, but there may be a lesson of patience associated with it.

When things only partially happen for us, it can be quite frustrating.  Part of what we want has occurred, but in the end, we don’t receive the conclusion we had hoped for.  Here, the lesson may be to come to terms with the fact that things don’t always ultimately go the way we had wanted.

This can be more confusing that when things don’t go our way at all.  Why?  Because with partially getting what we want, it’s easy, even presumable for us to believe that the rest of what we desire will ultimately come true.  If a woman was with a man she was deeply in love with, and he was willing to see her once or twice every couple of weeks, she could easily assume that the relationship will build, and ultimately he would commit to her.  However, what if he was really only willing to keep seeing here infrequently?  How long should she continue to hang in there while waiting for things to get better; or to finally throw in the towel, as the situation won’t ever improve itself?

Like with anything partially achieved — it is hard for us to put our minds around it.  It would be like playing sports with the goal of winning a championship, but never really being able to achieve that goal.  Of course an athlete would never want such sub mediocre results.  It’s the same with any of our desires- we want it all!  In this situation, though, the lesson may be different than us simply getting what we want, and once again, God’s plan wins.  In the end, only partially getting what we want is ultimately still the same as God saying no, as eventually, things do come to a close.

When God says no, it is frustrating to say the least, as something we have put all of our belief behind – something that means the world to us, simply just doesn’t come true.  We have prayed, affirmed, pictured it, and owned it with all of our heart and soul, yet still, it doesn’t come to fruition. 

“Why does God say no,” we might ask?  Often, simply stated, God’s plan for us is quite different than what we’ve architected it to be within our own human minds – and as hard as it is for any of us to accept – the truth is that God knows best.  Meaning, whatever is for our highest good is what will occur.  God’s divine plan encompasses what we’ve karmically and spiritually agreed to accomplish in this life.  Before we were born, these things were agreed to by us, so they are just happening in the way they are spiritually supposed to for our highest growth and good.

Want versus need.  Often, two opposites.

When we’re immersed in our own desires, we lose perspective – especially the perspective of the difference between what we want versus what we need.  When we want something strongly, we hardly stop and ask ourselves, “But is this what I need?”  We blur the two together; hence, desire overrules intuition, spiritual insight and looking at things from another point of view.

We can want a lot of things.  Many of us say, “I want what I want!”   But that doesn’t mean that God will say yes.  Think of it this way:  Our wants may represent our lower human desires, while what we need will indicate God’s higher plan.  When God says no, it is because God knows what is always for our highest good!

We could want five mansions, but do we need them?  We could want more money than we know what to do with, but will this mean that things are unfolding as they should?  We may want a romantic partner who is unavailable to us, but is it that person who we are truly meant to be with? 

I remember a female client of mine, who waited several years for a particular man to love her.  He wasn’t interested in her, didn’t even wish to speak with her and ignored her when they drove by each other in their cars.  Yet, she refused to realize that God said no a long time ago to this relationship.  So as she become older, she became bitter, shut down, resentful and of course, was not open to meeting the man God would be willing to send to her — someone new and different than who she assumed it would have to be.

So here we see how this woman kept hitting her head against the wall.  Like a child whose parents have said no repeatedly, she just kept defying that answer to hold onto to a dream that would never come to be – and in that process, helped to ruin her own life. 

It is paramount that as we grow spiritually, we must always be aware and accept that what we want may not truly be what we need and to all we don’t need, God will say no.  What we must do is to redirect our desires to be in harmony with what God offers us!  Then what we want and what we need begin to be one and the same – and we start to rebuild our lives!

Hitting head against wall.  Must stop.

OK, we’re afraid that God has said no and fighting against it.  And we don’t like it.  In fact, we’re pretty ticked off.  Every time we hit our head against that wall, it hurts.  So why don’t we stop then?  Because it’s all about our ego — the stubbornness and tenacity of our ego that keeps us charging like a ram headfirst into the wall – a brick wall.   Refusing to (in our own minds) give up, accept defeat, while continuing to fight the unwinnable war – still defiantly holding on.

As this old phrase is one we have all heard a million times before – what does it really mean for us to keep hitting our heads against the wall?  It simply means that the ego is unwilling to let go and let God.  It becomes a blind crusade, ripe with dangerous intensity.

“She told me she’s not ever coming back to me, but I am not willing to let go and date anyone else,” a client affirms.  Here, that old mainstay of all of us being our own worst enemy rings true.  This man is not allowing himself to move forward past a situation that has ended, one that God has said no to. 

He may see his life as a one-way street – with no other options other than to hold onto her.  However, there are many avenues he can travel down but the ego doesn’t like that as it wants to win!  He could start dating others while working on releasing the ex who doesn’t want him anymore, and has told him so.  Also, he could take time to heal, and then consider new romantic options in the future.

But when our ego is in control, and we refuse to move past dreams God has already said no to, we get stuck and trapped – so we don’t move forward.  However, sooner or later, as painful as it is to all of us who have been unable to accept God’s answer, we still must let go.  We can do it now, later down the road, or even in future lifetimes.

Ego is loud, stubborn and defensive.  So what do we to slay this beast?  Do we fight back as in fighting fire with fire?  Do we match the intensity of the ego and wage war against it?  No, absolutely not.  We win by rising above the ego.  Through listening to intuition and higher guidance, (that small little still voice within), we are guided as to what to do.  From new options and dreams to being open to see what will come into view for us that is positive…

Remember, the physical situation may have not concluded the way we wanted, but by transcending the ego, we relate to what happened from a place of acceptance and peace.  Living in the moment and releasing the burden allows us to become an open channel for what God will say yes to. 

However, in addition, we must watch for those tricky energies known as feelings.  In addition to ego, our own emotions may try and trick us back into the abyss of refusing to accept no for an answer.

Emotions try to play a trick. 

Even when we get to the point where we intellectually know that God has said no, our feelings don’t get it.  These feelings try and reinvent and disguise themselves in many ways:  False hope, as in believing that by holding on and waiting, things will work out in the ways desired.  Refusing to let go, as if somehow holding on means that a no will reverse itself into someday being a yes.  False intuition, where the emotions pretend to be actual insight:  “I feel and sense that things are going to work out,” when it is merely our emotional desires that masquerade as being intuitive.

God has said no, but our feelings keep holding onto what will never be.  These feelings are misleading.  Why?  Because they seem so real and so right – because every part of us resonates with the emotional intensity.  But if life were just about our feelings, we would soon wipe ourselves as well as others off the face of the earth.  Someone cuts you off while during down the street. In that moment, you FEEL like you want to kill them.  But do you?  I would certainly hope not.  But what if you just acted upon those feelings that felt so real?  There could be a death or serious injury.

Your boss criticizes you at work. You’d like to clobber him over the head with your fist.  But do you?  Again, I would think not.  Here, again a feeling should not be the basis of action.  And the fact that a feeling may be inside of us for years, or even decades does not validate that feeling.  The length of time is not proportionate to how valid or real our emotions are. 

The list goes on and on of how emotions in and of themselves should not be the defining or primary factor for our reality or our actions!  These old feelings will mislead, by continuing to keep surfacing and reinventing themselves.  However God’s plan may be transcendent of the feelings we may be holding onto!  So don’t repeat the same patterns!

What do we do if we’re immersed in the sea of our own emotions?  We must ask ourselves, “What am I supposed to be learning from all of this?”  Certainly, there is something behind what any of us are feeling — which is designed for our own growth.

Lessons that we agreed to learn.

When something doesn’t come to be, as we had wanted it to, beyond our own egos and emotions, there is always a lesson or lessons involved for our growth on a spiritual level.  Remember, before birth, we agreed to all of this.  However, we may proclaim, “I didn’t get what I want so I could care less about what I was supposed to learn — this hurts!”  But in time, we will learn and come to terms with what we’ve been through whether in this lifetime or in subsequent lifetimes.

It could be a lesson of us needing to have acceptance that we didn’t get what we wanted; or a lesson of humility (as our egos get humbled when we don’t get our way), and even perhaps learning to surrender to God’s will (as God’s will is always the right way). 

If something is delayed but not denied, it may be that we need to have patience and hang in there, as in time, what we wanted will occur.  Sometimes we need to let go and release it all, and then it all works out for us.

The lesson or lessons involved with only partially getting what we want can also be multi-faceted.  One could be learning to not assume that the conclusion they desire must happen, simply because part of what they wanted happened for a while.  It is just like a temporary romantic relationship.  It may not be the permanent union you had hoped for, but it was there to teach you and take you from one point in your life to another.  With the experience, there are always lessons – again, just not necessarily what you had scripted them to be in your own mind.

All in all, when we don’t get what we want, there are always deeper reasons as to why (lessons) and we must understand that there are things for us to learn from these experiences – things that we may not want to learn from a personality point of view, but must, from a higher spiritual perspective, as these are the lessons we’ve agreed to come here and learn. 

What to do now.  It’s no

The Chinese have an ancient belief that there is great strength in flexibility, which I completely agree with.  Here, we need to consider building our healing process on flexibility.  We may have only looked at our prayers in one way:  “I’m going to get what I want.”  However, God said no, as all of us have experienced in our lives.  (I bet you couldn’t find one person on this earth who could honestly say that they have received everything that they ever wanted.)  So what do we do then?  We are frustrated, our dreams may be shattered, and yet, we need to move forward with our lives. 

First, we need to not look at the situation in question with a pre-supposed answer – or from the myopic vision of our emotional desires.  We need to start asking simple, yet profound questions:  What was I here to learn?  Why did things not go the way I wanted?  How do I rebuild my dreams? What was the spiritual purpose to all of this?

By searching for answers, they will come – but don’t force those answers.  The divine universe is on its own time clock and will always give you the truth: Whether from a dream, a psychic, a friend, therapist, a book or from any number of sources, but at the right time.  I love the phrase, “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.”  We will all be taught when and what we’re supposed to be.  Remember, it is with flexibility regarding our experiences that helps to lead us to the truth we are searching for. And with flexibility as opposed to rigidity, we become an open vessel as to how to move forward toward dreams God will say yes to.

Look always with an open mind.

When we look at all we’ve been through, and as we’re trying to make sense of God saying no, we must look at it all with an open mind.  If we once had preconceived the outcome, assumed things would go our way, we closed our minds – to alternate viewpoints, or perhaps, even the truth.

With an open mind, we are a channel for insight, wisdom, and clear perception to reach us.  Most of us may think of ourselves as being quite opened minded, when in actuality, we have been closed-minded all along, by already having our minds made up.  If we think we know, that represents a closed mind.  If we strongly believe we possess the answers, our minds are like a door slammed shut.  When we defend our position, argue and shoot down alternate viewpoints, the door has been padlocked.

A client of mine wanted to know when she would meet someone new, as she was recently divorced.  “When am I going to meet Mr. Right,” she questioned?  She got that God said no to her marriage, but was it a matter of simply knowing when someone new would come into her life to answer her question?  The problem was that this client still needed a crucial piece of the puzzle to be in place to achieve her goals.  She needed to look at her situation with an open mind, as there was more to be dealt with than just her initial question of, “When will I meet someone new?” 

I could feel that she was closed to a new relationship, as the hurt incurred from her divorce left her quite shut down and guarded.  So here, she needed to open her mind and be receptive to other insights to assist her, such as coming to terms with her marriage and divorce.  This would help to release the self-protective walls that wouldn’t allow anyone new to enter her life.  In this instance, she opened her mind, worked on her healing process and did meet someone new – a man who was good for her!

With an open mind, we don’t presume to “know,” but rather, we become a receptacle of the truth that sets us free.  In trying to solve the puzzle of why God said no, we might need to open our minds more so than we may have thought, as that allows all that is for our highest good to come through!

God leads. God knows.  Just listen.

When it’s all said and done, who knows what is best for us?  Our desires, emotions, ego — or God Almighty?  Framed that way, the answer is so obvious, but it isn’t to us when we’re in the throws of what we feel, desire and must have!

All of us have hit our heads against the wall repeatedly, and all of us have been disappointed when God has said no to us.  Some of us become bitter, resentful and live in self-pity, because we didn’t get what we wanted. 

But we should never forget this ever-classic phrase:  “Don’t wish for something, you might just get it!”  Think of all the things you may have wanted with all of your strength, and then looking back, you profusely thank God you didn’t get them!  In time, it all becomes clear!  Never lose sight of the fact that in retrospect, things will make sense to you as to why they didn’t happen in the way you desired!  It may take years, decades, even lifetimes, but it will someday become crystal clear to you, which will bring a deep sense of spiritual peace.

As we keep crashing into roadblocks, we need to reevaluate what we want, who we are, and what we’re asking for.  When we only want what God wants for us, we are free!  We will then manifest all that is truly in God’s supreme and perfect plan: Health, wealth, success, happiness, fulfillment, love and Joy!  We are then able to build a life from a higher perspective, not just being like whiny, bratty spoiled kids whose mantra is:  “I want what I want – I want I want!”

And yet, it is hard to let go, but always remember to let go and let God!  This way, we can begin to follow God’s divine lead as God knows way more than we do.  Again, stated that way, it seems so obvious.  But how many of us keep that in mind when we are immersed in desires, even though what we must have may not at all be for our highest good?

Ultimately, just have eyes that see, and ears that listen, with a soul that responds to God’s lead, and you won’t go wrong!

God says no.  Let’s move forward.

When God says no, we must move forward:  To turning that no into a yes of acceptance.  To accept the answer we didn’t initially want!  To letting go of the attachment to what we didn’t get from an emotional and ego point of view!  We must move forward and look at new options!  We need flexibility, an open mind, heart and spirit!

As we release it all to a higher power, things will clear up and we will know what to do.  We may need to build new dreams and move forward toward making them happen.

It is with that open-mindedness that we can proceed from the potentially bitter disappointments of no, to the joyous celebrations of yes.  We must work diligently to no longer want anything that is not in God’s higher plan — we are not just here to want and want and want more – and just get what we want.  It is always the question of just what is for our highest good and what we’ve agreed to on a soul level.

Often, years later, we look back and proclaim, “Thank God I didn’t get what I was asking for!”  We believed that what we wanted so deeply had to happen and that we could not ever be happy without it.  At the time, God saying no seemed so horribly unfair and absolutely wrong.  But in actuality, it turned out to be completely right.  It is with this sense of wisdom, reflection and overview that we now know that things always have a way of working themselves out for our highest good.

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Abortion is one of the most highly controversial and divisive issues facing our society today, with people’s physical safety and even their lives being on the line.  As the country is divided between pro-choice and pro-life belief systems, there seems to be no real way of reconciling these two polar opposite viewpoints.

In this writing, I will look at abortion from a different perspective that is rarely, if ever written about – a karmic perspective.  What are the karmic ramifications of an abortion?  How does abortion affect our future, not just in this incarnation, but future lifetimes as well?  What might be the karmic plan regarding an abortion?  With these spiritual complexities in mind, I will try and offer the many varying karmic possibilities in a non-judgmental way regarding this most emotionally charged issue.  In addition, I will shed light on what the varying karmic plans might be between the souls involved regarding pregnancy, miscarriage, and birth. 

Before a pregnancy happens, there has already been a karmic plan for it to occur between all of the parties involved.  This karmic plan occurs on the other side, before anyone has been born into the physical lifetime where the pregnancy would occur.  It involves the father, the mother and the soul that may be born into a physical body.  This plan may also include an adoptive parent or stepparent as well as any family members and / or friends who would be connected to this potential birth and the physical life that may follow.

As with any karmic plan, there are unlimited possibilities as to exactly what an agreement may entail.  Just as we can have any number of contracts between human beings in our earthly lives, any number of variables can exist in a karmic plan between all of the parties involved regarding the initial pregnancy and what comes after. 

It all depends on what the lessons involved are as well as the choices that are always present all the way up until the actual birth happens.  Even still, it must be noted that these plans from the other side are not written in stone.  Before incarnating, everything appears to look easy, as if one will come into the physical world, live up to their agreements, zip through all of their lessons and triumphantly return back home to spirit.  However, when one is stuck in the limitations of a physical body and the restrictive housing of the personality, it can BE very different. 

Frequently, once on earth, people are not able, or do not feel that they are able to live up to the agreements made on the other side. Therefore, there are many possibilities as to how the karmic plan will actually be implemented and executed.  Below, I would like to break down the different karmic possibilities regarding pregnancy, birth, miscarriage and abortion.

The most simple and clear-cut example of a karmic plan on the other side regarding a child being born is where all parties agree to a pregnancy, which is to be concluded by a birth in the physical world.  Then, when the actual pregnancy takes place, it is followed through with the birth of the child.  Here, it is quite simple as to what has been planned and what was carried out.  In certain instances, though, before the actual birth occurs, there could possibly be a miscarriage.  Let’s look at the many variables regarding karmic plans involving a miscarriage and why it might happen.

Sometimes a karmic plan is agreed to where a miscarriage will occur.  You might ask, why would this be pre planned?  Because the soul may be agreeing to come back and forth to the fetus from the other side to practice attaching itself to its physical body, which is in preparation to eventually be born.  As it is quite traumatic for a soul to be born (where you have to dumb down from knowing and seeing to starting from the beginning again as an infant), it is not at all easy to do.  Often, a soul may be preparing to get used to the birth process again.  Since all of us have reincarnated countless times already, certain souls may have come to dread the process of birth, death and rebirth.

In addition, a karmically pre planned miscarriage can teach us certain lessons such as:  Loss, disappointment, sadness, guilt and other emotions that may need to be learned on a spiritual level by the parties involved for reasons of growth.

A miscarriage that is not a karmic plan can occur through many negative, careless and destructive choices.  What if the father was reckless and too sexually aggressive with the mother?  How about if the mother was using alcohol, drugs, or engaging in wild behavior?  What if the mother was not seeking the proper medical care?  All of these choices could cause a miscarriage to occur that was not a karmic plan.

Stress in any area of living:  Finances, career, health, family, as well as the tension created by the father treating the mother badly can also create a miscarriage.  I have had many female clients who were pregnant and lost the baby due to the difficulty of all they were going through with the father. 

Sometimes, the mother is so totally stressed out during a pregnancy, that she would boldly proclaim, “I want this pregnancy to come to an end.  I don’t want this baby,” which can facilitate a miscarriage to occur.  Let me say, however, that in no way am I trying to suggest to any woman who has had a miscarriage, that somehow she was responsible for it, or perhaps created it.  I am just pointing out that sometimes an intense desire to end a pregnancy can cause the body to carry out such a powerful request.

In these above-mentioned instances where a karmic plan did not exist for a miscarriage, there would potentially be negative emotions.  This would be experienced by those connected to the miscarriage such as the parents, the soul on the other side and other family members / and or loved ones connected to the pregnancy.  Also, there can be a karmic consequence.  If negative karma is created, it would need to be evaluated and looked at specifically as to determine the consequence by the lords of karma (the spiritual forces that oversee, regulate and govern karma in the physical plane).

Beyond miscarriage, is the hot button issue of abortion (which from a karmic and spiritual perspective), is not the clear cut black and white, right or wrong choice that it has often been portrayed to be by people with strong opinions.  In any situation where an abortion occurs, one must look at the karmic plan, which as established above, can literally be anything. 

If a karmic plan is for a pregnancy to occur concluding with giving birth, yet an abortion is chosen, it would create karma.  However, that karma would depend on several variables:  Was the woman under unusual stress?  Did this woman know any better at the time?  What were the extenuating circumstances that contributed to the abortion?  How much financial difficulty was going on at the time?  Did the father, family or others push the mother into making this choice?  Did this woman simply feel that she couldn’t handle a baby and made the best choice she knew how to at the time?

A birth is precisely timed in the spirit world before it occurs (which would be seen by the natal astrology birth chart). Also, since the parents and potential child have a karmic plan that is specific unto them, it may take a while for the time, place and circumstances to be spiritually correct for the unborn child to have another chance to be born after an abortion.  This can take years, decades, and possibly even centuries.

It is not as if the proper circumstances are mix and match:  Subtracting one set of parents and adding a new one, interchanging different social settings as well as brand new family and friends – as a karmic plan is specific to all of the parties involved, including the timing and circumstances.  Why?  Because it is all designed for the stage to be set for the appropriate karmic and dharmic lessons to be learned by all of the parties involved.  It would be like planning a movie with: The leading actor and actress, the budget, director and producer, the extras, the time to shoot the film, the location, etc.  How easy is that to recreate?

However, I have felt the following scenario in many readings:  A woman has an abortion or abortions and then gives birth within a few years after the abortion or abortions.  In some of these instances, I have psychically picked up that the soul who was trying to come into this world where the pregnancy or pregnancies were aborted, came back and was born through a latter pregnancy.  Often, the circumstances are still compatible with the original karmic plan; therefore, all parties are given another chance to still complete the karmic plan.  (This same exact scenario can also apply to miscarriages, where the soul trying to come in was not able to because of a miscarriage or miscarriages, and subsequently is born through a successful pregnancy and birth.)

Sometimes the karmic plan as to whether or not to have an abortion is open to options that are not to be decided until the time of the physical pregnancy.  These choices may be tough decisions and are karmically supposed to be left up to the mother and all involved parties – here, there is no clear cut right or wrong.  There may be no preset conclusion in the karmic plan as to what the decisions are to be, but the lessons are for the parties involved to do whatever is “right” for them at the time.

In the cases of rape and incest, the karmic plan may be to make the decision regarding abortion after the pregnancy has actually happened.  Part of the lesson may be for the mother and the involved parties to decide if a baby born through rape or incest would be the right choice.  Would there be birth defects from incest and if so, how serious would they be?  Could the mother or other family members love this child conceived under such difficult circumstances?

In another situation where there might be genetic defects such as Down syndrome, what choice would be appropriate?  Also, if the life of the mother was legitimately in danger, that would factor into the choice regarding a possible abortion.

In some instances, the karmic plan may actually be for an abortion to occur.  With lessons, it is not always what appears pleasant or “nice” to us as human beings, but what needs to be learned on a deep spiritual level.  What if the lesson was for the mother to feel loss (a lesson of losing what one wants) and the unborn baby to have to wait (a lesson of patience) to come into the physical world?   What if the mother was to have an abortion to learn to feel regret, so that later down the road, she would conceive and give birth?  Or perhaps, if the mother and other parties needed to learn the value and appreciation of life, an abortion may teach that lesson. 

With pregnancy, miscarriage, abortion and birth, the question needs to be asked, “When does life actually begin?”  Metaphysically, life is considered to begin at the point of conception; however, the soul does not immediately enter the mother’s body when the sperm meets the egg.   It is throughout the pregnancy that the soul travels back and forth from the other side to the mother, preparing for the tremendous trauma of being born again and getting used to the sensation of being an infant.  It is a conditioning process, much like an astronaut who puts themselves through rigorous training to prepare to do something quite unnatural – to travel into outer space. 

As we are far more in our natural state of being in the spirit world, coming into a body with its physical limitations and personality restrictions is tremendously difficult to do.  So with this training process, the soul prepares to be born.  Right before the birth, the soul permanently enters the baby’s body, in preparation for the conclusion of the pregnancy, its process and ultimately, birth.

With abortion, we’ve established that it may be chosen in spite of a karmic plan to give birth, left up to the parties involved where the decision is to be made at the time of the actual pregnancy; or a karmic plan where the abortion is pre-agreed to.   Yet, the question remains, is there a black and white solution regarding abortion?  For instance, should the government legislate its opinion regarding abortion for one and all to abide by, or is abortion a matter of personal karma, which some would refer to this as personal choice? 

Abortion is clearly a matter of personal karma – meaning that it is the karma of the partied involved, not a matter of every abortion being right or wrong.  Even if an abortion creates karma, which in certain instances it does, it is still the karma of the parties involved and based on individual choice.  In the short of it, a government is not here to tell people what to do regarding their own karmic choices as this is not a government based issue.  Whatever the repercussions are, they are to be experienced by those who have made the choices.  Abortion is not a societal karma, meaning that all of society must abide by the same standard or viewpoint.  It is interwoven into all of the parties’ choices, repercussions, karma, dharma, evolution and growth.

Just as some doctors perform abortions and some don’t, it is a matter of their personal karma and beliefs.  However, many in the world feel that abortion is always murder – plain and simple.  These people try to superimpose their own personal religious beliefs onto everyone else.  Since everyone is not spiritually supposed to be of the same religion or belief systems as we are all on different paths (with all pathways leading back to God), some people will stop at nothing to end abortion. Bombing of clinics, murdering of doctors who practice abortion, websites listing these doctor’s home addresses to promote attack and attempts at reversing Roe V. Wade are all done by those who can only see things from one point of view.  Here, they are indeed creating negative karma themselves.  Even though they believe their violent choices to be righteous and supremely justified, they refuse to accept anyone else’s perspective, based on their strong religious convictions.  We must all learn to co exist, even with those who are diametrically opposed to our way of thinking, believing and living.

Regarding an actual abortion, the question would be posed as to how would the soul on the other side connected to an abortion react to this choice?  Depending on the lessons involved and the choices made, many variables occur regarding how a soul would experience this choice.

??First, with contraception, would the soul on the other side experience anything at all, as contraception precedes conception, which is where life begins.  The sperm plus the egg equals conception, which begins life.  The soul of a child on the other side plus the biological fetus equals a baby.  With contraception, the potential negativity that can be experienced through abortion is alleviated for the soul on the other side. 

Some feel that contraception should not be used whatsoever.  This idea was established at a time when the world population was dramatically less than it is now, and where perhaps there was a fear of human extinction.  In today’s culture, contraception can be quite positive, as the world is overpopulated, plus the soul on the other side is not actually connected until the point of conception.  With the morning after pill, whatever feelings a soul may experience from an abortion are greatly diminished.  Why?  Because the connection to the mother and the birth process had just started – therefore, there is far less attachment involved.  The longer the pregnancy occurs, the more connected the soul becomes to being born – so the abortion has the potential of being more intense and traumatic.  Certainly, contraception greatly diminishes the potential of the karma that can be created by an abortion. 

When an actual abortion occurs, it is hardly just a matter of the act that terminates the pregnancy; then all is done and over with.  There is often a tremendous and far-reaching emotional aftermath, especially for the mother.  (Although, conversely, abortion is the most prominent form of birth control in Japan, where it is considered commonplace.)  However, in America, it is much more of a volatile and emotionally charged issue, as we all know.  In fact, abortion may be the single strongest issue that divides this country:  politically, socially and religiously.

My experience as a psychic, has given me quite an up close and personal viewpoint of what women have emotionally been through after an abortion, as many have shared their experiences with me regarding the abortions they have had.  I have heard countless stories from women of just how haunted they had been through an abortion or abortions, often ones that happened decades ago.  “Jim, my baby would now be 15 years old.  I’ll never know my child, because I had an abortion,” a client sobs.  “I’ve had four abortions Jim, so how could you say that I am a good person?  I deserve to be punished forever buy God,” another client exclaims!  “I wish I would have never had an abortion because now, there’s nothing I can do to change it or fix it,” another client explains.

With these emotions, one needs to look at the tremendous complexities that are involved in such a choice as abortion.  Serious questions need to be asked:  How young was the woman at the time?  Did she know any better?  Has she learned from this choice?  Through her choice, has she been able to assist others, because she has grown herself?  Did the father try and force her into the abortion?  If it was one abortion, it can be seen as a “mistake,” where one moves on to future choices that they feel better about.  If there have been multiple abortions, the woman needs to ask herself what difficulties was she going through at the time.  What repetitive behavior patterns were present at the time?  Was her family history abusive?  Was there an alcohol or drug problem that contributed to this choice?  Were there serious emotional or mental issues in play at the time of the abortions?  As life is not black or white, certainly abortion isn’t either.  With understanding these often very complex interpersonal structures, we begin to achieve the real task at hand, which is – letting go, moving forward and ultimately – forgiveness.

No matter what any of us have chosen (and abortion can be one of the most painful choices for a woman, often long after the fact), we must learn to forgive ourselves and release the burden to infinite spirit and divine love.  That great Bible phrase rings so true, “Let the person without sin throw the first stone.”  Are my choices any better than yours or vice-versa?  Of course not!  Who are any of us to judge others?  But beyond that, who are any of us to even judge ourselves? We do the best we can, we learn from whatever we’ve chosen, and hopefully, we move on to more enriched and positive journeys!  That is all any of us can do – and it is good enough.

It is important to know that none of us can ever truly know what the karmic plans are regarding pregnancy, miscarriage, abortion and birth – as those plans come together before we incarnate into this world.  There are countless variables and possibilities of what karmic lessons and spiritual plans can teach us.  However, none of us can prove what these lessons are or are not.  A psychic making a prediction is not proof of what the karmic plan may or may not be.  We will probably not really know the complete answers and the lessons that were agreed to until we are on the other side and can review the agreements, choices and consequences involved.  These answers will be given to us by the lords of karma and our master spiritual teachers, after we have crossed over into the light.

Even though we still are in this physical world, though, it is important that now – right now, we live in the light — the eternal light of hope, eternal blessings and divine forgiveness.  Whatever has happened regarding pregnancy, birth, miscarriage, or abortion  — no matter how horribly any of us have ever felt about our past choices or experiences, we now release it to the most profound and pure form of God’s undying and unconditional love for all of us, knowing that it has all happened for the highest good and that everything will be OK – eternally. 

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