Voice of the Spirit

Judge not, lest ye be judged – The Bible

The world of judgment

In the world we live in, we either judge others and/or experience it being done to us.  Everyone is more opinioned, outspoken, critical, condemning and judgmental of others than ever before.  In this age where everyone’s opinion matters, people are hardly shy about speaking up and letting the world know exactly what they think – and who they judge. 

 Just listen to the comments at work that people make about others, what your family and friends say, the opinions that are written in magazines, newspapers, and especially the information splashed all over the internet.  Judgment is everywhere. 

Take a look at cable television “news” shows were people hurl insults and condemn everyone from celebrities to politicians to ordinary folks ‘round the clock, satisfying the insatiable appetites of those who tune in.  Whether the audience disagrees and/or agrees with the pundits on the shows, it is the sense of judgment that largely brings everyone together.

Judgmental folks congregate to each other, just like the old adage, “Birds of a feather flock together.”  Whether it’s through a television “news” show or an organization such as a church where everyone is like minded, people feel strength in numbers, which further validates their viewpoint.  If everyone in a church worships Jesus, then they feel right about their beliefs and entitled to judge those who disagree.  It is tribal in nature just as it once was in the ancient jungles.  Those within the tribe (in this instance, a church) look down on and attack others who are different than them and in the most primitive sense, are from another tribe.

 And you’ll find that most people hardly ever apologize for their judgmentalness of others;  rather, they celebrate it and feel unabashedly empowered to do so!  It’s as if everyone feels entitled to express whatever their opinions are, regardless of how much they attack and hurt others.  So in the world of judgment, who is it that exactly that gets the finger pointed at them?  Is it everyone, or is that a selective process?

Who we judge

 In the world we live in where we look at things as either being right or wrong, we tend to judge those who we feel are “wrong” – and that term is not just limited to someone who commits a egregious crime such as a bank robbery.  It is as open ended as we choose to make it. While some of us have been looked down upon because of our social status, we also do the same to others.  This includes feeling superior to those with less money than us: “Oh, the neighbors don’t have nearly as much money as I do and aren’t financially together like me.  You can tell by looking at that awful car they just bought.  It’s used and at least ten years old.  It probably cost a grand total of a few hundred bucks, but hey, they just don’t have the same kind of money that I do.  It’s just a rusted out piece of junk,” a next door neighbor smugly says.

In addition, if any of you just stop and listen to what is said on television about “unattractive” or “overweight” celebrities, or what people say about their coworkers in the workplace, you’ll see just how much people who aren’t considered physically attractive are attacked and disrespected: “This guy who’s in the next cubicle over from me looks like such a dork.  I bet he hasn’t had a date in years.  No woman would ever touch him with a ten foot pole as he’s so friggin’ ugly.  I can’t stand to even look at him as it ruins my appetite for lunch,” a female coworker chuckles. 

Besides looks, there’s always the rat race in our society of who’s the most successful – and those who are considered less so are often on the receiving end of being criticized: “My brother John has not done well in his career at all, and it doesn’t look like he ever will because he just doesn’t have what it takes.  He just isn’t good enough, you know.  Thinking of it, John hasn’t even gotten one promotion in 12 years,” his brother Jason flatly states. 

On a more lofty level, we look down on people who don’t live up to our standards of morality, family, and behavior.  It’s as if we put ourselves in the role of being the judge and jury when it comes to other’s lifestyles and choices: “My daughter has never married and didn’t have kids.  What’s wrong with her as a woman?  Now it’s too late as she’s too old now.  I’m so disappointed in her,” a mother complains about her daughter. 

Sometimes the insults are far less restrained: “That guy is going straight to hell when he dies.  Not only is he a worthless drunk, but he almost killed a poor, innocent, teenage girl while driving home from a bar.  I hope he rots in prison and in hell!” a man proclaims about a drunk driver he saw on the local news.

Yet perhaps the most insidious and hard to detect form of judgment is when we verbally attack those who remind us of ourselves – of some part of us that we don’t like and that we’re hiding. 

Scott always had an aversion and revulsion of gay men and consistently condemned them.  Every time he’d see someone gay on television or in his neighborhood, the vicious insults would begin to fly: “That damn faggot is an aberration of everything that is natural – spreading disease, and corrupting innocent children.  God hates fags and I wish they would all die from AIDS!” Scott frequently yelled.  This type of attack may sound extreme and unlikely to occur in today’s world, but it’s far more common than you may think. 

Yet in Scott’s instance, it’s not just religious homophobia that is at the root of his hatred.  It’s that he himself is latently gay and has had tendencies to be sexually attracted to other men — and he hates this about himself with a passion.  So instead of facing his issues in whatever way is best for him on a personal level and coming to terms with how he feels, he turns the attack back on those who hold up a mirror to himself – those men who are openly gay.

Whether it’s a homophobic tirade by Scott, putting down someone at work for not being “hot enough,” or any in number of ways, it’s easy to look at instances of who gets judged.  Unfortunately, if we’re being honest, there are far too many endless examples to even begin to keep track of here.  With that being said, we need to look beyond just who we judge, and ask the questions of why and when we criticize and disparage others.

Why and when we judge others

It’s startling to listen to people who feel completely justified in casting judgment upon others  because they feel superior, better than, and somehow entitled to see others as “wrong.”  Whether these criticisms are said as seemingly casual comments, or blaringly loud exclamations as Scott did, it is the sense of egotism and arrogance that fuels this energy.

Yet this is nothing new, as we can trace judgment back through all of recorded history.  In the most extreme cases, people are run out of town and even put to death through being judged.  Even today, women in parts of the Middle East are stoned to death for cheating on their husbands, whether it’s provable infidelity or only an accusation.  Here, we see where finger pointing reaches a level that is quite hard to comprehend for most of us.  If you’re a woman, imagine that you could be stoned to death simply for being accused of cheating on your husband – right here, right now in today’s world!

The self righteousness becomes a smokescreen of hiding the flaws in the person or persons doing the judging.  In this instance, the sense of being “holier than thou” becomes a way of camouflaging the shortcomings that exist within all of us.  Think of it: Aren’t we all flawed, and haven’t we all made mistakes?

When criticizing others, it’s as if there is a “right” person (the one doing the judging), and a “wrong” person (the one who’s being judged).  But that energy shows an absolute absence of one of the very cornerstones we’re all here to spiritually learn, which is empathy and compassion.

Without empathy and compassion, we can sit in judgment of others day and night and never put ourselves in the shoes of those we’re looking negatively upon.  When empathy and compassion are missing, our sense of judgment has no boundaries and just continues, especially when our egos get involved in the process.  As we hurl this negativity into the ether and at people, we even sometimes alter the course of their lives in a terribly destructive way as what we say really does hurt them. This is exactly what happened to Patricia.

Patricia took a new job about a year ago, and her boss was named Tammy.  Patricia was a divorced single mother of two while Tammy was a married Evangelical Christian who strongly believed that divorce was a serious sin.  Therefore, she sat in judgment of Patricia.  Tammy immediately began putting Patricia down at work and spreading negative things about her to anyone within earshot.

She said things like, “Patricia just doesn’t seem to get the hang of this job at all.  She’s lazy and not a very good worker.”  Then she’d follow up with, “Oh my God, I am so worn out as I have to do Patricia’s work all the time, as she’s just not capable at all.  Jesus help me as I’m so sick of her!”  After months of this, people started to believe what Tammy was saying, and the backlash against Patricia began building.

However, none of what Tammy said was true as Patricia was in fact an excellent worker.  It was just that Tammy had a hard time with the fact that Patricia was a divorced woman, and in Tammy’s mind, that was dead wrong.

So after about six months of Tammy’s repeated verbal slurs, Patricia ended up being fired, all supposedly because of her inferior work performance.  Here we see how the judgment Tammy felt toward Patricia altered her life forever.  She lost her job and was out of work for six months, which caused her and her children to experience great financial hardship.

As with Tammy and Patricia, it’s so easy for any of us to get caught up in the flow of putting others down and unloading on them because we feel justified in how we view them.  Plus, we supposedly feel relieved by releasing these negative energies and by getting it all out.  We falsely assume that since we believe we’re superior to others, what we’ve done is absolutely ok!

 However, this is a complete illusion.  Instead of putting others down and making it righteous in our own minds, what we should doing is asking ourselves this most important question: “If I judge others, what happens to me in the process?”

To judge others is to judge ourselves

 To whatever degree you judge others, is the same degree that you judge yourself. – Jim1537

 When we judge others, the joke is really on us from a spiritual perspective.  First, we don’t feel good about ourselves if and when we condemn others because if we were at peace with ourselves, we wouldn’t find the need to attack others at all.  Judging others is reflective of our exact relationship with ourselves and the degree we judge and the way we do so clearly reveals exactly how we really feel who we are inside.  And the more we point out what’s wrong with others, the worse we feel within.  Think of it this way:  for every judgment you think or say is the same thing as putting a dose of poison in your bloodstream.

It’s not just an abstract concept that is lofty and in the clouds, but metaphysically quite clear and correct.  When we judge others, we attract judgment to ourselves, just as whatever we do comes back to us. 

Even if we don’t have it in our hearts to stop criticizing others based on empathy and compassion, we must end it if just for the sake of our physical health, general well being, and self preservation.  Of course, none of us like being judged, yet as long as we do so ourselves, we will continue to attract this awful energy back to us.

A perfect example of this happened to a musician named Colin who never had a good thing to say about any other artists he knew.  He condemned virtually every musician he was “friends” with, calling their work boring, predictable, uninteresting, and second rate. 

So when Colin did a performance of his own, the feedback came in quickly and swiftly:  “Boring, uninteresting, and predictable,” was what one critic stated.  Then, a different critic actually referred to Colin’s show as “Second rate.” 

However, did these jabs come from the people Colin had attacked himself?  Not at all.  The same words Colin said about others came back to him from completely different sources, and not those who Colin knew.  Because he sent out this energy into the universe, it was brought back to him, yet not from those who Colin had hurled his insults at.

From a deeper point of view, let’s look at a scenario much bigger and vaster than Colin’s.  When we judge others, we sometimes have to actually reincarnate in a future lifetime in the exact same shoes of those we’ve condemned before.  Why?  To experience firsthand what we did to them.  It may be the only way we can learn from what we’ve done through our judgment of others.

When Cindy was just a little girl, she began mocking other children in school right to their faces who had speech impediments.  She would mimic their sounds, exaggerate their speech problems, contort her face and just laugh all day long, thinking their issues were just hilarious.  As an adult, she never outgrew this practice and continued to verbally mock those who had speech impediments, as if she was performing a comedy routine.  Trying to mimic their every sound and chuckling all the way, she devoted her entire life to making fun of those who couldn’t speak properly and just thought it was a blast to do so.

Little did she realize that she was setting herself up for who and what she would reincarnate as in her next lifetime, because when she came back into this world, she was born with a lifelong speech impediment.  In this instance, she needed to experience what she had done to others and how she had hurt them, as it was the only way for her to spiritually grow past this and come to terms with what she did prior.

This is in no way to say that those who are born with a disability have done something before to “bring it on,” as there are many spiritual and karmic reasons as to why any of us reincarnate in a certain way.  It’s just that in certain instances, we literally do come back into this world in a future lifetime in the very same shoes of those we have judged before!   

Yet all of us have made mistakes and we have all looked down on others.  However, that doesn’t mean that there’s an indelible black mark on our souls which will lead to severe spiritual punishment now and/or in the future.  It means that we need to let go of the madness of judging others!  Yet as a culture, we’re so entrenched in judgment as a daily way of life, that how do we begin to do this?  Here are some great tips, insights, exercises and affirmations to achieve that very goal for you!

Instead of judging others, try blessing them instead

First, try this exercise for one to two days: Have a note pad and a pen/pencil and write down how many times you judge anyone else or hear others do the same.  In addition to what you think and say about others that is disparaging, include the words of coworkers, family, friends, and anything you hear on television or read in the media that criticizes someone else.  This could range from anything such as a cynical comment or a nasty remark about someone’s appearance, all the way to a declaration that someone deserves to die!  I bet you’ll be surprised how many times you judge or observe others doing so, all in a matter of a day or two.

Then, look at all of the judgments you’ve recorded, and realize that you shouldn’t be asking yourself if the criticisms are justified, right, or correct.  Keep in mind that you can always find fault in anyone if and when you want to.  It’s like the old cliché: If you’re looking for it, you’ll find it. 

Instead, ponder these questions: Who am I to judge anyone else?  Am I God?  If that doesn’t make you want to relinquish judgment, remember that from a spiritual perspective that all of us have committed the most horrific acts imaginable in one lifetime or another – and that includes murder.  Yes, we have all murdered, so who are we to look down on anyone else?

Remember that in the big scheme of things, you’re just like the person you’re judging.  It begs the question we should all ask ourselves, “Why are my actions any better than anyone else’s?”  With that in mind, it’s clear that we are all the same, so how could we disparage anyone else?  That just means that we’re attacking ourselves.

Even though we’ve committed the most primitive animalistic acts against others in prior lifetimes, we’re now at a point in our spiritual evolution where we’re supposed to be getting past such things.  And part of that growth means for us to learn to not judge others.  This process helps us to become humbled, and with humility, comes the freedom and power of not judging!

Yet, if you’re still feeling compelled to view others as wrong, never forget for a moment that to judge others is to judge ourselves – literally.  Even it’s merely for the sake of self preservation, it is far too costly to judge because of the way others will treat us in return. 

In addition, we can’t afford the penalty our body pays for being a part of such an ugly and dark energy, and the toll it takes on our finances helps to bring us into poverty as well.  Remember that projecting an ugly energy into the atmosphere brings it right back to us – and it can affect our lives in any number of ways.  Ultimately, we lose our connection to the love and light that is so necessary to bring in the blessings we divinely deserve when we harm others through judgment. 

Instead of judging others, the solution is to bless them, which releases not only them, but you, to the highest and greatest good.  This process also helps to heal your life.  Start with someone you judge who you don’t know, like a celebrity you’ve looked down upon.  (One recent example that comes to mind is how people in droves attacked singer/actress Jessica Simpson because she gained some weight.)  Whether it’s Jessica or someone else, think of a celebrity or someone you don’t know you’ve disparaged. 

Now, insert that person’s name in the blank space and say out loud: “I no longer judge ________.  I now bless them and release them to their highest good!  Say it repeatedly and feel it in your heart – and you’ll see how much lighter and happier you’ll become!  The reason I started with someone you don’t know or a celebrity, is because it’s not personal in nature, therefore, it’s easier to do.

Next, work toward blessing someone who has personally hurt you, whether it was being jilted by a lover, friend, coworker and/or family member.  Instead of judging them, bless them by affirming: I release all hurt, pain, and judgment toward _____________ and bless them with positive wishes for their complete happiness.  Through blessing them, you release however the former situation is holding you back from manifesting good things in your life today.

Last but not least, take a person who is publicly acknowledged as a horrible person.  This could be a serial killer, rapist, dictator, and/or child molester.  These people are so easy to condemn as they have caused an incalculable amount of hurt to others – and even to entire nations. 

However, instead of judging them, release them to their highest good and bless them by affirming: As it is not my place to judge anyone, I bless and release __________to their highest and greatest good!  Now, you’ll start feeling somewhat better and assume that you’re done.  After all, could it be harder to forgive someone other than a mass murderer?  “What could be possibly tougher than that?” you might ask. 

Yet, it can be even more difficult to no longer judge someone else – a person you may have never thought you had to stop judging – someone you may have long believed you were ok with…and that person is you.  The biggest challenge is to no longer judge yourself.  You may not think you’re doing it, but remember, if you judge others, you are also doing the same thing to yourself. 

So it’s finally time to view yourself, spiritually, in the correct way – with acceptance.  Stop and remember that you’re good enough right now, and that you have always been loveable as a person.  Whatever you’ve done before, let it go and lift a ton of weight off of your shoulders by affirming: I now release any and all burdens of judging myself into the eternal spirit of divine love, where I am unconditionally loved and perpetually accepted as I am.  I no longer judge myself and forever see myself as blameless and innocent!   By offering yourself this supreme gift, you will be surprised at how much better you will feel!

Then, here is a special day-by-day tip: Police yourself every day and make sure that you are replacing the old habits of judging others and yourself with blessing not only them, but also you. 

By not judging, you are free!

By not judging, we free ourselves: from personal attack, criticism, condemnation, and judgment, both internally within us and externally by others.  This greatly improves our physical, emotional, and spiritual health, mental state and finances as well. We will also attract others who accept us and appreciate us in every corner of life, even down to the strangers we encounter out in public.  By releasing judgment of others and ourselves, there is no longer that open door for others to enter our space and attack us.  We have closed that door, locked it, and thrown away the key.  We now become as free as the eagles soaring above the sky.

By judging, we’ve tried to play God, but in doing so, we show how little we really spiritually know.  We also tip our hands to our unabashed arrogance, as we are literally saying that we’re better or more qualified than God by condemning others.  

Our concept of God as some finger pointing, mean spirited, perfectionist, forever berating Supreme Being who sends us into hell’s inferno forever if we’ve been bad is simply not true.  That perception is based on our human distortion. 

Rather, a higher power should be thought of as the most unconditionally loving parent a child could ever want.  There is no judgment, criticism, intolerance, condemnation and punishment – there is only pure, unconditional love and acceptance for all of us, regardless of who we are and what we’ve done! 

It’s like having a parent who welcomes you with open arms and a warm hug, regardless of whatever has happened in your journey.  Think of those moments in your life when you may have felt that love: Opening a wondrous Christmas gift from your parents when you were a small child, feeling so utterly secure being carried to bed by a parent or loved one when you were a toddler, or being tucked into bed at night with a gentle kiss.  There was a feeling of compete safety, peace, security, and joy.  Now, if you can imagine that feeling magnified incalculably, that is how you are spiritually viewed and regarded by divine love, forever.

If we raise our perception and understanding to not only mentally grasp, but truly feel our concept of God as the eternal, everlasting and pure consciousness of unconditional love that simply is, how could we ever judge anyone or ourselves again?  Think if it: If a higher power doesn’t judge, then how and why could we?  It begs this simple truth: If all of us are good enough for God, so to speak, then we’re good enough for ourselves!

If you would like to have a private reading with me, personally tailored to fit your questions, needs and concerns, click here.

“Before a man can learn anything, he has to unlearn what he already knows.”  — Old Sufi proverb

In today’s short article, I would like to hopefully expound on this very profound old proverb.    

As adults, we pride ourselves on our knowledge, yet in some ways, spiritually, the knowledge that we’ve accumulated can hold us back and prevent us from growing.  We tend to think that knowledge expands our horizons, but in reality, the things that we know are often our biggest obstacles to our spiritual growth.

To think we know something is to limit it.  That “knowing” limits our understanding of what something actually is, what it could be, its importance to us and its effect on us in the future. Whether we’re a teenager or a senior citizen, we believe that we already know.  “With age comes wisdom,” is a statement that justifies that by merely getting older, we become enlightened.  In reality, age can make us more stubborn, set in our ways, inflexible to new ideas and how we look at things.

Most of us think that knowing indicates with absolute certainly that our perceptions, beliefs, and understandings of reality are indeed right.  But to think we know not only limits ourselves – it prevents us from truly learning.  With each day, our belief that we know only makes us that much more blocked, rigid, and stuck. 

 It stops us from seeing alternate explanations and new possibilities for the situations and problems in our lives.  In order to truly learn, we must unlearn what we already know – and that means our perceptions, beliefs, prejudices and current level of understanding must be let go of. 

We get into patterns that are based on our past experiences and conclusions which we perceive as irrevocable fact.  They may have worked before, but perhaps have outlived their purpose.  When you’re a child and are taught to never get into a car with a stranger, that is appropriate at a certain time.  However, if you were thirty years old and your car broke down, would you refuse to get into a tow truck with a stranger?  Some times the value of something we “know” has outlived its purpose and we need to be open to new knowledge.

“The world is bad,” someone says, because they feel that they’ve been hurt in the past.  But if they want to truly learn that the world can be seen in any number of ways, including that it is wonderful, they have to unlearn the point of view that the world is bad in order to grow.

How do we begin that process?  We start by letting go of subjective attachments, and opening our minds to be willing and able to be led.  Therefore, we truly begin to learn as pre existing assumptions and belief systems must be released.

Think of a gorgeous natural wooden table.  Thirty years ago, it was painted white, then it was painted lime green a few years later, followed by a heavy coat of varnish put on it two years ago, and one more coat of varnish was added this year.  Every layer of paint and varnish smothers and suffocates the beauty of the wood, which is like having a mind that is filled with things that clutter its space and stand in the way. 

So in the way someone would have to remove all the layers of varnish and paint to restore the wood to its natural beauty, it is the same with our ability to truly learn anything. We must always be able to look at a situation from a beginner‘s point of view and restore our mind to its natural state which releases all of the old acquired stuff that’s blocking and restricting our growth.

In Zen Buddhism the concept is taught of the “Beginner’s Mind.”  This is the ability to look at anything as though you are seeing it for the very first time.  This allows us to bypass all of our previous knowledge and experience and see things with a fresh outlook.

In a reading, a client said to me, “Jim, my soul mate is John and I just know that!”  However, in reality, that assumption is spiritually not accurate. When they hear from me that John isn’t the soul mate, if they refuse to let go of what they “know,” their energy can’t open up to allow the real soul mate to enter into their life.  Therefore, what they think they know with rigid certainty is exactly what is in the way of them getting what they want!

It is just like a simple door.  If it’s closed, how can anyone walk through it?  If the door is slammed shut or locked, no one is going to be walking through that doorway.  It is the same with the mind – it must be open for the divine universe to have an open channel to teach us.

Most people claim that they want to learn.  But in that quest, what are they willing to change in order to get there?  Remember, the divine universe needs a mind that is open at all times to be able to enlighten.

What about the arteries in your body?  How could your health function properly if the arteries were closed?  With blocked arteries, the blood couldn’t circulate correctly throughout your body which would lead to serious health issues and potentially, even death.  As our arteries must stay open always, so must our minds, if we really want to learn anything. 

A female client of mine had been through two bad marriages, so she believed that she knew that no one good would ever come into her life.  In her mind, she knew that was true.  But in reality, all she was doing was projecting her emotional reactions from her past experiences as fact.

When I told her that she was preventing anyone from coming into her life that could be good, she defended herself and said, “You don’t know what I’ve been through, and I know the kind of men that are out there and there’s no one good for me.  The good ones are all married already.”  So through her refusal to unlearn what she already knew to be true, the universe could not bring anyone good into her life.

Instead of our minds being as closed as a completely clogged artery in our bodies, we must begin letting go of the layers of our “knowing” that don’t serve us to get to a higher place.  Our minds need to be as open as the universe itself, and with that, we master the ability to unlearn what we already know in order to learn what far transcends all that we once believed to be true.

If you would like to have a private reading with me, personally tailored to fit your questions, needs and concerns, click here.

In the movie The Gods Must Be Crazy, a man discovers a Coca-Cola bottle in the Kalahari Desert (which had merely been dropped by a passing pilot) and promptly has his life completely turned around by this “mystical object.”  In this setting, a Coca-Cola bottle is perceived to have literally come from God – as a “sign.”  This may sound absurd to us who think of a Coca-Cola bottle as nothing more than an inanimate object that contains soda, but is the premise of this comedy really as strange as it initially sounds? 

People have been claiming to have been witnessing “signs” directly from God for all of recorded history with recent examples ranging from a statue of the Virgin Mary weeping bloody tears to Jesus’ face appearing embedded in a piece of toast.  In fact, “signs” are everywhere and for some, they apparently come out of the blue while others ask, look and wait for them.  Whether seemingly by “accident” or deliberately sought out, signs can come to us in a variety of ways from prayers; visions; dreams; affirmations; intuition; a physical manifestation; the tarot; Rune Stones: the I-Ching; a psychic reading; to even what is perceived as a bona-fide “miracle.”

Many of us who have some type of spiritual belief strongly trust in signs and ask to receive them to help provide answers to our current situations and clues as to what the future may hold.  Sometimes, we even expect signs to come to us, while some take it even further and absolutely demand to know (through signs) what’s in store!

However, how truly spiritually valid are the signs we receive and moreover, how necessary are they in our lives?  The Bible says that we should never look to signs for answers or spiritual knowledge, but even evangelical Christians seek out signs, pray for them and believe fervently in their messages.

Of all of the aspects of our spirituality, “signs” is amongst the most deceptive, tricky to figure out and complicated to decipher.  Many times, what people would swear on their children’s lives are direct signs from God are not signs at all and the fervor of one’s belief in a sign doesn’t necessarily make it valid.  We are often quite fooled and duped by what we erroneously believe to be a sign from God when it actually isn’t.

There is indeed a place for signs in our spiritual life, but it is not as simple as to say that all signs are either completely valid omens from God, or complete hocus pocus.  Again, the validation of a sign can never be judged by the emotional reaction and intensity any of us feel when receiving one.  It is the goal of this writing to help sort out the fallacy from the reality of signs and provide the tools, techniques and understanding for you to be able to know the difference.

Looking for the signs we want and believing we’re getting them

I once knew a woman named Kristen whose career involved a great deal of daily driving up and down the highways as she was in sales.  Kristen was very much into signs and had a daily ritual in her pursuit for answers by starting her day with a question.  Then, she believed that the actual answers would reveal themselves through the various license plates on the vehicles that she would see while driving her car on the road.

After Kristen began dating a man in 1995, the majority of her questions that she wanted to be answered by signs through license plates would center on this relationship.  One that she typically asked was, “Is my boyfriend going to marry me and be with me forever?”  One day she saw a license plate that read “2B1720,” which she interpreted as “2B” meaning “to be,” and that “1720” was providing the date of “1-7-2000.”  In her mind, she was convinced that the answer to her question was that it was meant to be for them to be together and that it would happen on or by 1-7-2000.  Another plate she saw said “2BGO” which she interpreted as “to be go,” meaning the relationship was meant to be and would go forward.  Believe it or not, Kristen actually based her relationship with her boyfriend on these license plate “signs.”

In fact, she kept receiving what she firmly believed were signs from God that appeared on license plates, especially because they all seemed to be saying the same thing to her.  Therefore, in her own mind, everything that she wanted would ultimately come to pass as it was just a matter of time.

The year 2000 came and went and by mid 2001 he had not offered her a commitment of any kind as the relationship had not progressed at all.  Even though the writing was clearly on the wall by then, because of her unwillingness to give up, Kristen stayed with this man through the end of 2005 when it was actually he who left her for a younger woman.  For ten long years, she believed she was receiving divine signs about their future together when she wasn’t.

Here we see that not only were the “signs” she believed with all of her heart to be directly from God completely inaccurate, but the fact that she refused to look at this relationship realistically allowed Kristen to stay in it much longer than she would have had she just assessed it for what it was.  He was a man who never promised her anything, was inconsistent, and only saw her when it was convenient for him.

Instead, she let her emotions and ego lead the way using what she falsely misconstrued as signs, which allowed her desires to take her on a ten year ride – one that didn’t end at all the way she had convinced herself it would.  Here we see how Kristen believed in signs, sought them out and falsely allowed her emotions to believe whatever she wanted and one could easily say that the old phrase of “If you’re looking for it, you’ll find it” sums up her story in a nutshell.

Kristen’s story is certainly not the only way signs manifest in our individual journeys and as we explore further, we will look at the tremendously varying relationships and experiences many of us have with signs.  For better or worse, the consequences can range from destroying our lives to saving us from disaster and pointing us in the right direction.

Looking for signs where our emotions affect the answers and the outcome

John was a man who regularly practiced “dictionary divination” by first asking a question, closing his eyes, then flipping through the pages of the dictionary until his finger stopped, at which point he would open his eyes to discover the word he arrived at.  That word was the answer to his question and therefore, his “sign.”

In 2006, his regular question was whether he should sell his house, quit his job and relocate or not.  On certain days, he was emotionally open and neutral regarding selling his house and moving, knowing that if it was supposed to happen, it would and at the right time.  When he practiced his dictionary divination on those days, he would always end up with a word such as “patience,” “wait,” or “timing.”  He took that to mean that he should wait, as it would unfold as it was supposed to.

Then, on other days, he would feel restless and anxious about wanting to sell the house and compelled to move right away without a minute to spare.  When he was in that frame of mind and asked his question and went through the same process of arriving at a word through dictionary divination, John would always come up with a word such as “now,” “immediately,” and “hurry.”

This back and forth see-saw ride went on for about six months and during that time, John became more restless because he didn’t like his job and wanted to turn in his resignation and leave town!  So with each dictionary divination, the words he arrived such as “today,” “go,” and “move” kept reinforcing what his anxious emotions wanted. 

How could this happen?  Was it just some sort of a coincidence?  Of course it wasn’t, as John’s strong feelings actually interjected themselves into the dictionary divination process and legitimately affected the outcome of the words he arrived at because his emotional desires were so strong that they became the driving energetic force of the “signs” he received.

As he kept receiving the same exact type of words each time, (the ones he emotionally desired) he decided that he had the signs he needed and put his house on the market.  After all, he had received the same signs so many times that he felt that it had to be time to go!  It was his destiny! 

But was it really…?  To sell the house, he had to lower the price significantly which didn’t give him hardly enough money to be able to relocate.  When he did finally move, he went to a location where he couldn’t find a house in his price range and had to rent – something he hated doing.  To make matters worse, he couldn’t find a job nearly as good as the one he disliked from before. 

We see that John’s practice of dictionary divination gave him two completely opposite types of words as answers: one when he was calm and relaxed and another when he was anxious and restless.  Two things happened:  first, John received the right signs when he was open and not emotionally charged about his situation; words such as “wait” and “patience.”  He needed to wait this thing out and let it unfold as the right course of action would reveal itself through time down the road, but he didn’t listen.

Secondly, John received completely different “signs” when he was emotionally anxious and restless – words that reflected on those emotions and provided the wrong answers as witnessed by the tremendously negative outcome of his situation – one that was solely based on choices John made based on his belief in the words that instructed him to act right away. 

As we see how John’s emotions were life altering regarding the “answers” he received and acted on, we must always look for signs with an open mind and an unbiased point of view.  The more open we are, emotionally unattached and objective regarding our situations, the more likely that that we’ll receive and listen to the truthful signs offered to us – just like the ones John was given but refused to accept. 

Asking for signs and when arm twisting doesn’t work, the answers are discarded

Tasha had been receiving psychic readings with her personal reader Janet for a ten year period where the consultations she received were almost 100% accurate.  In 1990, Tasha asked her reader about a business opportunity where she would work for two friends who owned a business that entailed her moving to Denver Colorado, the place she had wanted to relocate to for many years.  She was definitely looking for a sign, so she immediately sought counsel as a decision needed to be made right away as her friends were pressuring her to relocate to Denver and work for them.

“What do you think?” Tasha asked her reader Janet.  “This seems to be everything that I’ve ever wanted: to work for friends, leave the area I’m in and live in Denver.”  However, what Janet felt was troublesome and told Tasha, “I do not get a good feeling on this situation.  Don’t make this move for at least a year.  Give yourself a year before making this decision as it will be clear at that time why.”  The most important part of Janet’s insight was to wait for a year, because she felt that in one year, everything Tasha needed to see would be revealed to her factually.

But Tasha didn’t like the answers she received, so she began trying to twist the arm of her reader by saying:  “What could possibly happen in a year that would make it different?  If you don’t know what it is now, how can I not go based on something that isn’t clear yet?  Maybe you’re wrong. You’ve been wrong in the past.”  However, Janet had never been wrong regarding anything of any real substance. 

Tasha even tried to pit her own “intuition” against Janet’s, as a way of being competitive, again to find a way to get what she wanted from any signs that were received.  “My intuition says that this would be a good thing,” Tasha stated.  Of course the psychic didn’t argue with Tasha as after all, it was her decision and her karma, not the reader’s.

So Tasha refused to listen to Janet this time, simply because the reading wasn’t what Tasha wanted to hear.  She asked for guidance and when the divine universe indeed gave it to her, she discarded it.  And of course, she had to make some lofty excuses as to why she wasn’t going to listen: from needing to trust her own inner truth, following her own path to believing and relying on herself. 

But none of us can do it all on our own, which is why we ask for guidance from a hopefully objective source in the first place – in this instance, the psychic who had never steered her wrong.  The answers were there in a positive way to protect Tasha, but she immediately upped and moved to Denver and began working for her two friends anyway.

What’s so telling about this story is the initial prediction of waiting it out for one year, because the business ended up closing in exactly one year, which completely explained the insights the reader received.  Through this one choice, Tasha’s life was irrevocably ruined: She had to file bankruptcy as her career collapsed, she was alone without the support of family and friends, her credit became ruined, she had no money and things didn’t end up working out at all for her in the long run either.

Like Tasha, many of us often disregard the signs we receive.  We look to an objective source to supposedly get truthful insight but then try to manipulate the signs when they don’t conform to what we want and ultimately, toss out life saving information.  But when we know that the source of our questions is objective, reputable, accurate and reliable, we must listen to the signs the divine universe offers us through that source to not end up like Tasha, whose life was permanently damaged by this one life altering choice.  Remember, God is not a trickster – the right information is offered – but we must not try to twist it into what we emotionally want it to be once we’ve received it…

Asking for signs where the answers are adaptable: the I Ching, Rune Stones, and the Tarot

Many of us ask for signs through such ancient systems as the I Ching, Rune Stones, and the Tarot.  These tools certainly do work, however there is a catch.  Their messages are not always literal and open to interpretation; therefore, we must make every attempt to read the signs we receive with an objective, open mind and heart.  It is highly dangerous to distort, twist, and maneuver what we receive through these ancient tools into being what we want.  Here, I would like to offer a little background on what the I Ching, Rune Stones and the Tarot are, what they can do for you and how to best handle these systems when asking for signs and answers:

I Ching:

With some portions dating back to 3000 years ago, the I Ching (pronounced Yee Jing) is one of the most ancient books we know of.  It is also known as The Chinese Book of Change and for centuries, it has been consulted by people of all walks of life from ordinary folks seeking guidance to the great Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung.  In fact, the I Ching has even been utilized to answer questions of state and assisted leaders in making decisions regarding warfare throughout the ages.

As people, we would often like to think of our lives as stable and “set,” but the basis of the I Ching is that our life is quite the opposite.  According to the I Ching, our existences are in a constant state of change and we are always confronted by the unexpected.  This profound book of wisdom helps us to make sense and provide order to what often seems like merely at random chaos in our journeys.  Consulting the I Ching does not present us with yes/no black and white statements of a future already written in stone, but a future that is constant flux, much like the changing seasons that we interact with.

In searching for guidance, the best type of question to ask the I Ching is one that is simple, clear and direct as opposed to a question that is complex and multi layered.  Yet don’t expect one dimensional thumbs up or thumbs down responses.  One can compare consulting the I Ching to a conversation with someone who is rather wise and insightful, who might point out our options to us, suggest different pathways we may take, but who will always leave the choices up to us. 

This helps to inspire us and direct us toward a clear mindset regarding the problem or issue at hand.  Therefore, a consultation with the I Ching is more a way of helping to define, clarify and understand our actions and thought processes than a sedative for our various worries about what the future may hold in store.  We are helped by the awareness that we create our own future and that we must coexist peacefully and harmoniously with the world we live in.

Since the guidance we receive from the I Ching is very much open to interpretation, we must make every attempt to use the information received in a spiritually objective way and not an emotionally subjective way.  This is tricky, as almost all of our questions would have at least some emotionally charged element to them, as they tie into our lives and those we interact with on a deep personal level.

Rune Stones:

Runes are an oracle from which one seeks signs, advice, counsel and guidance.  Traditionally used for divination, magick and writing, Runes are actually an ancient Germanic alphabet.  The actual rune stones are stones (or they can be pieces of wood) with runes carved on them for the purpose of divination. As we understand that the word “rune” means mystery, secret or whisper, we begin to get a glimpse of what a rune stone reading entails.  Answers are not offered as absolute facts which indicate a predestined outcome but rather hint toward answers, with you having to figure out the details. 

Since each particular rune stone has esoteric meanings associated with it which are far deeper than mundane definitions or simple phonetic values, the guidance received is multi layered and requires interpretation and insight on your part.  Think of runes as providing a type of road map which points you in a direction, but how you navigate and view the journey is up to you.

The early peoples who used runes attached particular words and phrases to them which signify concepts that are important and relevant.  As each rune has its own specific unique story attached to it which represents the forces of nature and mind, each rune stone carries a secret meaning which is then encoded by you.

Throughout places such as northern Europe, Scandinavia, the British Isles, and Iceland, runes were used from about 100 B.C.E. to 1600 C.E.  Challenging the historical premise that Columbus discovered America, ancient Runic inscriptions have even been found in North America, supporting claims that it was the Vikings who actually arrived there first.

Regarding questions, runes work best if you detail your current circumstances and then ask a specific question, but the answers may not be crystal clear as rune readings are sometimes vague.  Remember runic divination or “rune casting” is not a way of predicting the future in the sense that one actually sees what’s ahead in a fixed unalterable way.

Instead, runes give one a means of analyzing the path that one is on and a possible outcome as the future is not written in stone because it changes with our thoughts, words and choices.  This is why it is so important for the person casting the runes to be able to interpret what the reading is saying correctly. This not only entails listening to one’s intuition; it also involves not letting one’s ego, emotions and desires get in the way.

The Tarot:

The original purpose of the Tarot was to keep secret records of history, and the origin of the Tarot is ripe with allegory.  At the time of the Tarot’s creation, allegory was culturally prevalent as a form of expression and description to tell the story of the ever present and unfolding human drama and the Tarot easily personified these dynamics through its powerful, colorful and expressive images.

In modern times, the 78 card Tarot deck is quite often used as a spiritual tool for signs, divination, self-help, spiritual and psychic readings and development of intuition as well as internal growth.  Part of its power comes from the visual concepts the Tarot cards themselves provide.

Some believe that the pictures themselves work as a trigger – like a universal Jungian archetype symbol that opens up our own subconscious and super conscious powers to allow universal information to come through to guide us.  Others believe that the pictures can mean absolutely anything and that their respective meanings are personal in nature. The Rider-Waite Tarot Deck, which comes with as instructional booklet offers specific meanings for the cards.  Many believe that even if someone merely did a basic Celtic cross card spread and had no apparent psychic ability, they could follow the meanings of the cards as indicated in the included instructional book and receive an accurate reading.

No matter which of these belief systems one subscribes to, it is clear that the Tarot is open to interpretation.  Even if one follows the instructional booklet included with the Rider-Waite Tarot deck, one’s interpretation and intuition generally comes into play.  That’s where things get tricky.  If you’re doing a Tarot reading for yourself, it is presumed that you’re dealing with an emotionally charged issue, therefore, you may not interpret what the cards are saying in on objective way – but rather in a subjective way.

Of course it is easier and probably better to have an expert Tarot reader perform the reading for you.  Make sure this is a person who is ethical, spiritual and not out to manipulate you through playing on your emotions by telling you what you want to hear.  A truly ethical and evolved Tarot reader can help provide the signs and ultimately the answers you’re looking for.

Interestingly, one can read regular playing cards in the same way as the tarot as our modern decks of playing cards are derived from the tarot.  The 56 cards of the minor arcana of the tarot correspond to the 52 cards of the modern deck, with the page and knight of each suit blended into the jack in the modern deck.  As far as suits, pentacles, swords, wands and cups they correspond to diamonds, spades, clubs and hearts.  The joker in the modern deck corresponds to the fool of the major arcana.

As we see with the Tarot, one can literally see anything they want in the cards.  I have known people who completely reject any standard interpretation of the cards and just view them in the way they speak specifically and individually to them.

When we’re looking for signs using tools and systems that are quite adaptable such as The I Ching, Rune Stones and the Tarot, we should never assume that we’re being objective.  If they don’t let surgeons who have been rigidly trained for over a decade operate on family members because of emotional bias, we as people must have the humility to never be presumptive as to our emotional frame of mind when seeking signs.  We work a lifetime at trying to be objective, open, and willing to interpret what is given to us through signs, guidance and direction in a spiritually accurate way – and it is worth the effort as the benefits of our work to become clear minded can allow us to see the truth.

Looking for signs with an open mind and heart through receiving a legitimate psychic reading

We should always make every attempt to look for signs that get us in touch with our higher selves versus signs that validate what we want and we must always work toward seeing the real difference between the two.  It is never a good idea to want a reading only to confirm what we already feel or validate our own “intuition.”  Sure, a reading that confirms what you already feel seems accurate at the time because it’s a mirror of your mindset, but that type of reading is not necessarily helpful or accurate. 

It is important for us to not insist on our own opinions as the reading should offer an objective viewpoint and show us our higher possibilities and not parrot back to us where we’re already at in consciousness.  If one is truly doing his or her job, a capable reader is objective.  By seeking counsel with an open mind and heart through a legitimate psychic reading, we can find the signs, guidance and answers our higher selves are looking for. 

Constance was a woman who had been in an abusive marriage for ten years.  Even though she kept hoping and waiting for her husband to change for the better, the pain and torture she experienced firsthand in her marriage was pushing her to the edge of what she could handle.  At her wit’s end, Constance was truly looking for signs with an open mind and heart, so she sent out a prayer for the universe to connect her with the right reader; one who would help her with accurate and truthful information.

Here, Constance asked the divine universe to give her the information she truly needed — and she got it.  When she received her reading, the psychic clearly picked up the physical abuse, financially deception and cheating of her husband.  In addition, the reader asked Constance if there had been some unusual occurrences, such as her tires being slit and repeated hang up phone calls.  Constance confirmed that both of these things had been happening.  The psychic felt that it was the other woman who was doing this and that she wanted to physically hurt Constance. 

The reader clearly advised her to immediately file for divorce.  The timing felt important to the reader as things were coming to a head one way or another:  either the other woman would assault Constance along with her husband continuing to abuse her, or she would leave the marriage, but it had to be done now in order for Constance to be physically safe.

In this instance, Constance listened to the signs she asked for, promptly filed for divorce and moved on with her life.  Furthermore, the psychic also told her that if she worked on being at peace with herself and rebuilt her life, she would meet her truly right life partner in a year.  Constance also followed through with that aspect of the reading and in a little over a year, she met the man of her dreams and is happily remarried today.

One might think that it would seem obvious that anyone seeking signs, guidance and answers whether through a reading or in daily life would do so with an open mind and heart — although that is not always the case at all.  Our ego, emotions, desires, self deluded thinking and false beliefs allow many of us who are seeking signs, guidance and answers to only be willing to hear what they want to hear.

But there’s often an additional twist which is that some people actually pretend that they are not looking for a sign at all regarding a particular situation, but in reality, their internal desires are sending out a strong request for the sign they want loud and clear – and the universe will tend to grant that request, regardless of whether the request is right or wrong.  Remember, pretending we’re not looking for a sign makes the signs we receive (based on our inner hidden desires) seem that much more truthful and accurate even when they’re not.

Pretending we’re not looking for a sign when we actually are

Sherry was deeply interested in a married man named Fred who she worked with and couldn’t decide whether to enter into a sexual relationship with him or not.  She claimed she wasn’t asking for a sign at all regarding her decision when in actuality, she really was.  Her internal desires strongly sent out the request into the ether for a sign — one that would completely validate her emotional desires – and Sherry got one. 

A few days later, she just “happened” to turn on the television and Oprah was doing a show on married couples who met while one of them was still married to someone else.  As she watched the show, Sherry literally felt that God had directed her to this particular episode.  After all, what was the likelihood that she would just turn on this show, especially when she didn’t watch Oprah that much?  

Tears began flowing down her face as a woman named Jessica confessed how she initially felt so horrible dating a married man, but in the end, everything worked out as he divorced his wife and married Jessica.  Sitting side by side on the show holding hands, they claimed to be completely happy together and in love.  Other stories by various guests told the same story and Sherry believed that these people were speaking directly to her as a divine sign from God regarding her dilemma.

Right then and there, Sherry made her decision based on the “sign” she received and the next day, she entered into the sexual relationship with Fred, fully believing that this was meant to be – no questions asked.  After all, she received her sign.  Sherry believed he was going to fall in love with her, divorce his wife, propose marriage to her and that they would ride off into the sunset just as all of Oprah’s guests supposedly had. 

However, Fred just wanted to use Sherry for sex as she was quite attractive, younger and in great physical shape.  So they embarked on a sexual relationship with not much else involved for about a year until Fred’s wife found out, at which point Fred promptly dumped Sherry in order to save his marriage.  But it gets worse.  Fred’s wife attached a condition to staying married to him, which was that Sherry would have to go – as in being immediately fired from her job.  Fred indeed had the connections to do just that and he did so. 

Within a week of Sherry and Fred’s affair ending, she was fired and immediately escorted out of the building by security guards, never to return.  Devastated, broken hearted and without a job, her life was in shambles:  “How could this happen to me and why did God do this to me?  I wasn’t even looking for a sign and then I got one, a real one, and then this all happened?  There’s no way that this wasn’t meant to be.  Out of the blue, I was directed to this show on Oprah, a show I hardly ever watch and then, I feel like I was played,” Sherry screamed to her friend Sue!

But if we step back for just a moment, we see that Sherry is looking at this situation from a completely biased and self delusional point of view with several aspects of her thinking being off base: First, she claimed she wasn’t looking for a sign, but she actually was.  Second, the sign she received was based on her emotional desires so of course she got what she wanted, but it wasn’t a valid omen from God.  Third, she assumed that just because she didn’t usually watch Oprah and that the show she was “directed” to told her what she wanted to hear, that it had to ne truthful, but it wasn’t.  Fourth, she assumed God somehow duped her, but it was her choices and desires that set this whole thing up.  And that’s not to blame Sherry for what happened to her; it’s just that she made these choices and unfortunately, her life fell apart because of them.

Since desire is such a tremendously powerful force, it is the desires of Sherry and Fred that set up their relationship, not a divine sign.  But even if we’re not consciously or internally looking for a sign as Sherry was, it doesn’t mean that a “sign” we receive is necessarily truthful.

Not looking for signs but still getting the wrong answers

Katie is a young Evangelical Christian woman with a strong religious faith who believes that God sometimes speaks directly to certain people through visions and prophecy.  She had never been in the habit of looking for signs, but has always felt that if God ever wanted to give them to her, it would just happen.

One day, as Katie just got off the phone with her husband in the mid afternoon, she suddenly had a vision.  She couldn’t stop it or help it – she started seeing money falling from the sky, then she saw her husband, two daughters and herself moving to a large, luxurious home.  What followed were the words, “Have faith, move now, money is yours!”  She was taken aback by this vision, as she legitimately wasn’t looking for one.  What did this mean?  Should she actually put the house up for sale?  Was this their destiny; to live in a beautiful, luxurious home?  Where would the money come from?

After not being able to get it out of her mind for a few weeks, she decided that this vision had to be from God – after all, she wasn’t into psychic readings, wasn’t looking for a sign and hadn’t even thought of moving.

So she took a huge help of faith, as she convinced herself that she would not be living up to her faith in God if she didn’t’ adhere to the vision she received, which she now assumed had to be right.  Boldly, she put her house on the market and believed with all of her heart that somehow, the money would be there to move into their new luxury home she received in her vision.

The house did sell, and rather quickly.  This further convinced Katie that everything else would fall into place. However, the house was only a modest home and gave her a little under $70,000.  But she kept believing and took that money, cashed out her savings along with her 401K and went looking for her dream home with a total of $200,000 in her pocket.

When she entered a lovely home that looked just like the one she saw in her vision ( the one where she believed she was receiving divine signs), the price was $500,000.  Of course it was out of her price range, but could she turn back now, as “God must have been guiding her to this house?”  So she plunged in, put a $200,000 down payment on the home which all the money she and her husband had and assumed that the rest of the money would end up being there to pay off the mortgage.

But what happened was quite different then what she received in her initial vision.  The money never came, Katie and her family went into serious debt and ultimately, lost the house after two hard years of debilitating struggle.  Flat broke and with no other options, Katie was in complete despair over the “signs” and “vision” she received.  How could it be wrong? 

Katie ended up blaming herself, as if she must have just not had enough faith to complete God’s vision that was given to her  – therefore, in her mind, it was her fault.  So without much of anything, Katie and her family had to start from scratch after filing for bankruptcy and ended up with horrible credit in the process and back in a house about the size and value of the one they were originally in.

Ultimately, what Katie couldn’t wrap her mind around was the idea that something she felt she received from God was not real and since she wasn’t looking, it would have had to be right as it was “given to her” without her asking.  However, she, like any of us cannot make assumptions about signs.  Just because she wasn’t looking for one, doesn’t mean that what she believed to be direct communication from God actually was, as proven by the disaster her vision led Katie and her family to.

Assuming that this wasn’t a spiritual lesson that she had to go through but rather, a choice, it’s important to comment on some alternative ways Katie could have dealt with her vision.  Certainly, the Buddhist phrase of, “When in doubt, do nothing” applies to Katie’s situation.  There was no real reason that Katie had to put her house on the market, cash out her savings, 401K and purchase a home far beyond her and her husband’s means merely because of a “vision.”

Also, God is not in the business of fooling us.  It wasn’t as if Katie had to move, or that somehow she and her family were in danger where they lived.  We should not take anything we receive as being gospel truth, but instead, question anything we believe is a sign, a vision, or a direct communication from God.  Through that process, we filter out the real signs from the ones that are not divine, but an extension of some part of our inaccurate internal process.  False “signs” can even from many sources that are not of a higher nature, such as a physical medical or mental condition, and/or a negative spirit.  We must look at any signs from all possible angles, to make sure we don’t act on the wrong information as Katie did and pay such a heavy price.

Not looking for signs and getting the right answers

Lorraine was a woman whose intuition was often correct – however, she never believed that she was always right and questioned whatever she felt to always try and do the right thing.  Her ego was not involved into wanting to think she was talking to God, or receiving signs in ways that put her above others.  She maintained humility about whatever intuitively came to her.

One night she had quite a disturbing dream that woke her up from a sound sleep.  She saw her son John, who lived in New York, walking down the street to a business meeting that afternoon where someone was shooting a gun at someone else, but her son happened to be in the crossfire and was shot to death.  She saw this dream as clear as if it were happening right in front of her.

So she called her son to share this information with him.  John confirmed that he was to go to a business meeting that afternoon where he would be walking down the street, as the meeting was only three blocks away from his office.  When his mother told her son of the dream she had, John was startled, but willing to listen.  Even though he wasn’t particularly intuitive or into that type of thing, he was somewhat open-minded, so he decided to reschedule his meeting to the next day.  After all, there was really nothing to lose.

At five o’clock that afternoon he called his mother almost speechless, as there had been a shooting exactly where his mother saw that it would be.  Her dream was obviously a completely accurate sign and indeed saved her son’s life.  Here we see how there are times when signs are legitimately spiritually accurate and can be a life saver!  It is mind boggling to think of the potential difference in the conclusion of this story had John’s mother not received this sign, didn’t give it to him, or if John would have refused to listen.  And it should be humbling and encouraging for us to realize that the divine universe is trying to watch out for our best interests and protect us.  

Bad validation and good validation

We strongly want validation when receiving signs, guidance and answers, but in and of itself, is validation a catch all term that represents the truth?  Clearly, there is bad validation and there is good validation and it is incumbent upon us to draw the best possible clear line between the two.  Just because a sign validates and confirms things, does not mean that it is accurate, right or for our highest good at all.

Many people crave what I refer to as bad validation, because it feeds into their ego, emotions, desires, belief systems and current frame of reference.  Never think that just because you’ve said a prayer for a sign that the next one you receive has to be “the one.”  Don’t try and connect the dots to have a “sign” make sense. If you’re emotionally involved at all, be extra careful.

Good validation reflects the positive path one is on.  If a person is open, humble, unattached and as non subjective as possible regarding the entire process of signs, they will often receive good validation, as Lorraine did regarding her son John. 

But even then, all of us – yes, every one of us can still get fooled.  We must put into place the best possible tools and techniques to differentiate between bad validation and good validation – and that is not easy to do.  No matter how intuitive, enlightened or spiritually aware we are, we can never assume anything about the signs we receive, except that we will do our best to see the truth. 

Perhaps most importantly is to never forget that before acting on a sign, assess any risk factors involved:  The risk for Katie and her family selling their house was life altering, while the risk for John was merely that he would reschedule a meeting for the next day.  If there is high risk involved, it may not be a divine “sign.”  If there’s no emergency involved regarding a sign, wait it out if you’re not sure.  In time, it will become clear and make sense either way. 

As with anything the divine universe gives us, it cuts both ways and must be utilized correctly:  food can keep us healthy or make us overweight; physical beauty can give us self esteem or make us arrogant manipulators through our sexuality; money can provide us with the prosperity that frees us from lack and limitation or turn us into being greedy.  It is the same with signs – they can literally destroy our lives, or offer us the transformationally positive life altering information that protects us from danger, attack and harm, helps guide us and lead us to a life of miraculous dreams.

Jim1537 can help guide you. Whether you are interested in custom affirmations to help you acheive your dreams, or in having your own private reading with Jim1537, he can help. Just click here to begin.

This post is dedicated to our dog Thor, who transitioned into spirit April 1, 2009.

Thor

For those of us who have had pets, the connection we share with them is quite profound – sometimes equal to, and in certain instances, greater that what we’ve shared with people.  As children, our pets become our playmates, and often, our protectors.   It is heartwarming to see a family dog stand stoically between a child and a stranger, refusing to take their eyes off of that stranger, and ready to give their life to protect if necessary.  As adults, our pets are like our children, companions, and in certain instances, a life saver.  Think of how many stories we’ve heard of a watch dog scaring off a would-be burglar who was ready to break into a home and rob it.  Therapy dogs are trained to provide help and comfort to those who need it, while seeing-eye dogs become the actual eyes of the blind, leading and guiding them through the complex and dangerous maze of the physical world those of us with sight merely take for granted.

When our pets leave us — whether dogs, cats, or any other animal, it can be as traumatic for us as when a fellow human being leaves this earth.  So, with this profound connection we’ve shared with our pets, the question is repeatedly asked as to what actually happens to them after they have left their earthly lives with us.  In fact, I recently received that exact inquiry from a reader of this newsletter, therefore, I’ve decided to devote today’s writing to that question in depth.

Do our pets have souls?

Yes, our pets do have souls.  They are not the same as human souls, but are souls in the continual process of evolution.  According to the theory of “divine sparks,” different sparks are cast out from the God head at various points in time.  These divine sparks begin their journey of evolution through matter and energy, such as experiencing being all forms of existence including rocks, trees, animals, and eventually leading up to being human beings.

Think of it like a road trip.  If I left Chicago on Tuesday to go to Cleveland, and you left Chicago for the same destination on Friday, I would be closer to Cleveland than you would be.  It doesn’t mean that I’m better or more advanced, but just started the journey earlier.

Where do their souls go and what do they do?

Once they have left their physical bodies, their souls go to a special place in spirit especially for the animal kingdom.  This place is scenic and beautiful, and is often pictured as the sprawling open fields of nature and light.  In that place, they are with their own kind, and possibly other animal species that they interact with as well.  There, they do the things you might expect your pets to do: run, play, have fun, and rest, but there is more to it than just that.  As I mentioned above, their souls are in the process of evolution, therefore, they are also taught and guided by the master teachers of their species.  Just like when we go to the other side, our transitioned pets keep learning, growing, and evolving.

If they were sick when they were with us, do they stay that way?

No, they do not.  They are able to shed illness very quickly, and return to their natural state of health and well being.  Whatever physical suffering they incurred here: being hit by a car, attacked by another animal, injured, and/or a terminal illness, no longer stays with them once they’ve transitioned. 

Do they ever visit us here?

Yes, typically our pets in spirit are around us from time to time.  They go between their new home on the other side, and their old home in the physical plane here with us.  In fact, you may feel them when they’re around.  You can sense their presence, as you know their energy and essence, as you felt it while they were here with you on a regular basis.  For some people, they actually can see them, possibly running through the house or the yard.  In rare instances, our pets in spirit can make a noise we hear with our physical hearing, or even move an object. 

A friend I went to high school with named David had a pet cat named Smokey who departed from the earth about twenty years ago.  Since then, David has felt the presence of Smokey often.  He’s not psychic, and not even that “into” psychic ability, but he knows that he feels Smokey’s presence around him.  David will sense Smokey being in the places he used to be when he was in the physical realm:  on David’s bed, in the corner of the kitchen, and out on the patio.  As he felt a connection to those places before, Smokey still visits those places periodically, and connects with David.

Some of my family members see our dogs who have transitioned to the other side running through the yard, looking young, healthy and acting gleefully happy.  We can be out in the yard cleaning up a bit, and suddenly I’ll hear, “Look, there’s one of the dogs!  They’re having a great time!”  The dogs play in the yard again, because it’s something that they loved to do before, so they still continue this joyous experience.  This may sound a bit odd to many people, but for those of us who can see spirits, it is actually quite common.

I actually knew someone who possessed such a deep connection with her cat whom she had for almost twenty years, that after he transitioned into spirit, her cat has come back to her, and when he does, he makes noises.  These are actual noises that she can physically hear – noises that would be only be identified with him, such as his unique style of purring and vocal sounds.

There’s no precise time length our pets on the other side continue to visit us.  Sometimes, they can be with us from time to time for years, or decades, while in certain instances, they will literally be with us for the rest of our lives.  And it you think of it this way, why wouldn’t our pets on the other side visit us?  They love us unconditionally as we love them in the same way.  This is a great treat for them, as well as for us, and a tremendous source of comfort and joy.

Do they reincarnate and come back here?  If so, why?

Just as we do, our pets on the other side also reincarnate and come back here.  This would be based on the spiritual belief that they, like us, are in a continual state of evolution and on the pathway to perfection and oneness with all, and that is achieved through reincarnation.  Many believe, as I also do, that they will eventually evolve beyond the animal kingdom and reincarnate into the human level.  That belief system would also say that we have all been animals ourselves, literally. This also means that the world as we know it is infinitely and perhaps incalculably older than we believe.

While on the other side, our pets are taught and trained for their up and coming lifetime by the master teachers of their species.  Whatever their goals are from a higher spiritual perspective, our former pets would need to learn these things and skill sets sufficiently before reincarnation.  A dog whose mission is to reincarnate as a dog of service to those with special needs might need a great deal of training, especially in learning patience and gentleness. 

Then, they will incarnate into the breed or type of animal that facilitates those lessons.  If a dog is to learn playful compassion, they could reincarnate as a Labrador.  If they’re coming back to learn to hunt, they might come back as a Golden retriever. Remember, even though they don’t comprehend it consciously as we do, they have a spiritual mission and goals to achieve in every lifetime they incarnate into.  They can’t write it down on paper and intellectualize it at their current level of understanding, but they are spiritually compelled to do what they’re sent here to do. 

At their level of growth, they may not possess as many skill sets as we do, but every pet clearly knows certain things, has special gifts and qualities that allow them to contribute to this world and fill the place that only they can.  Again, think of what a seeing-eye dog can do for a blind person, or what police dogs do for law enforcement every day — it is quite remarkable.  You could think of it as their animal instincts, but it comes from higher consciousness, which is guiding them all the way. In addition, once they’re in the earth plane, they need to be trained correctly, be in the right environment and circumstances, which will help them reinforce and manifest their skill sets and spiritual goals in a particular incarnation. 

Could our pets come back to us when they reincarnate? 

Since our pets do reincarnate, is it possible that they could actually come back to us in a future lifetime?  Yes, our pets can indeed come back to us when they reincarnate again. 

However, it is not just a simple matter of that fact that we love them, and they love us, therefore, they’re coming back to us.  There are several variables which determine whether this would happen or not:  Are we still going to be here in the physical plane when it is their time to come back?  Obviously, that would be necessary.  Are the lessons they are coming back to learn able to be learned in our care?  If a pet needed to be in an outdoors hunting environment, we would need to have that type of environment to offer.  If our former pet is supposed to learn to be nurturing and loving toward children, we would need to have children. 

In addition, there are so many more factors that help to determine the outcome to our initial question: Our life must be conducive to them coming back.  Whether we’re in good or bad health is important.  Our lifestyle, regarding work, obligations and travel would need to allow us to care properly for this pet.  All of the answers to these many variables illustrate the point that there are so many factors that determine who our former pets will be with in a future lifetime, whether us, or someone else. And certainly whatever is for the spiritual highest good of all concerned determines what would ultimately occur.  If and when our pets do reincarnate with us, we probably see ourselves as their teachers by training them and taking care of them.  But can the opposite occur, where the roles are reversed and our pets might be our teachers?

Can our pets teach us?

From a spiritual and karmic perspective, pets are often sent here to teach us lessons, as sometimes, certain lessons are not able to be learned through interactions with people or on our own.  Therefore, the divine universe will send a special pet to be our teacher.  Love, patience, understanding, compassion, and tolerance are some of the wonderful lessons a pet can teach us.

This is exactly what happened to Mark, a man who had always lacked compassion.  In fact, he was judgmental of anyone who suffered, as if it had to be their own fault for whatever circumstances they found themselves in.  He rarely showed empathy for anyone, and was continually cold.  So one day, a male puppy dog with a broken hind leg showed up on his doorstep.  This dog was only about four months old, scrawny, hungry, and in desperate need of medical care.

When Mark saw this dog, his heart just began to melt.  All of his defensiveness, arrogance, and judgementalness was relaxed for the moment.  For one of the first times in his life, he actually felt genuine compassion and empathy.  He saw this dog through the eyes of light and love, and not the harsh cold judgment he had repeatedly inflicted on people.  So he took the dog in and provided the dog with medical care, food, and its shots, and after a couple of days, Mark was hooked.  He decided to not just send him on his way, but instead, Mark kept the dog, and named him Sneakers. The journey of Mark and Sneakers became one of transformation for Mark on a deep spiritual level.  At first, when Mark wanted to yell at Sneakers for having an accident in the house, he would come to his senses and remind himself that the dog didn’t know any better.  Instead, he chose to train him. 

Later, when Sneakers would get into the garbage and make a mess, Mark decided to see this as just something a dog might do – therefore, he didn’t punish him with cruelty.  Again, he trained the dog to not go into the garbage.  Then, after fifteen years, Sneakers became ill, and had accidents in the house regularly.  But Mark knew it wasn’t Sneaker’s fault – he couldn’t help it.  So instead of screaming and yelling, Mark become tolerant, and just took care of him, even through the roughest of times.  At sixteen years of age, Sneakers finally transitioned into spirit. 

As we see, a simple little puppy named Sneakers became the greatest and most profound master teacher of Mark, because after the journey the two made together, Mark no longer judged and condemned other people.  Mark learned what he was suppose to learn, as it could only be taught by this one special pet the divine universe sent to him.  The impact Sneakers had on Mark was undeniable.  However, our pets don’t just affect our physical lifetimes, as the connection we share with them continues far beyond that…

If our pets are on the other side when we cross over, will we see them?

If our pets are on the other side when we cross over, we will see them.  As most of you already know, I am a spirit medium who receives messages from those on the other side.  In many readings, a client’s loved ones in spirit come through and identify a family pet by name that is with them in spirit.  This is of great comfort to my clients, who can experience a confirmation of the connection between those they love and the pets they also love who are reunited on the other side.  Realize, I can’t ask for this information – it has to be volunteered in a message.  Whatever spirit wishes to bring through in a reading is what comes through, and not able to be controlled by me or the client’s wishes.  It’s just a wondrous confirmation of the eternal connection with our pets when those on the other side comment on them directly.

Also, intuitively, it has always been clear to me that the souls of our pets who are in spirit reunite with us when we cross over.  They are there waiting for us, filled with light, love, enthusiasm, and joy.  Their souls are looking forward to connecting with us, and offering us the unconditional love that only they can give.  Here, we see how the love that occurs between us and our pets establishes an eternal bond – one that transcends all barriers and illusions of space and time that we perceive with our limited physical perception.

Here on the earth plane, we believe the illusion that we become separated from our pets – as we perceive that our pets “die.”  However, that isn’t true any more than it is true of the people in our lives.  In reality, there is no such a thing as separation between ourselves and the pets we love, because they, like us, never actually “die.”  Remember, just because we don’t see our pets with our physical eyes any longer, doesn’t mean that they no longer exist, and that we’re no longer connected to them.  Sure, your pets will modify their form, just as we do – from a physical body on earth to being in their spiritual body on the other side, to another physical incarnation, to countless new incarnations. 

Through all of these transformations, there is one thing that is constant and will always remain — that is the sacred bond of love, which is absolutely eternal.  The love that has been there between you and your pets will never die – it cannot – as it lives, breathes, and thrives forever.  It is as vast and eternal as eternity itself.  As we grow and evolve through this endless journey we are now on, our pets will walk alongside us, in this dimension, as well as all other dimensions – and yes, they are there with us as our eternal companions whose unconditional love and comfort makes our journey that much better.

Jim1537 is a gifted medium who can help you connect with your loved ones on the other side.  If you are interested in having a private session with Jim1537, click here.

Most of us would agree that one of the main reasons we are here in our earthly journey is to learn to love ourselves.  It is safe to assume that we’ve all struggled with feeling good about who we are.  The difficulty in loving ourselves can occur through negative reinforcement in childhood, a failed marriage or relationship, dreams that didn’t work out, our physical appearance not being what we want it to be, not being successful in our careers or wealthy enough, the self esteem issues that we may have brought in from a previous lifetime, or any number of personal reasons that cause us pain.

Currently, the reoccurring theme of “love yourself” is ever present in countless self help books, new age philosophies, various forms of spirituality, and stated by therapists.  In practically every corner of our society, this theme is reinforced repeatedly.

Of course, we must all learn to love who we are.  However, what does that actually mean?  Are we supposed to love and accept all parts of ourselves and everything we do:  our good qualities, bad qualities, talents, strengths, warts, flaws and all?  Should unconditional love be a blanket license for us to validate every aspect of ourselves? 

First, your higher self

We don’t tend to see the difference between who we are versus what we do when trying to love ourselves.  It’s as if we feel that we should love, accept, celebrate, and even cherish absolutely everything about us.  This is the goal that many books and philosophies teach – for you to feel wonderful about you in every way imaginable!

However, as we learn to love ourselves, we must recognize that there is a huge difference between our higher self; as opposed to everything we do.  Our higher self is quite extraordinary.  This is the part of us that is eternally connected to divine mind.  Here, we are an utter masterpiece.  Our higher self is personified and projected through our special, unique, and irreplaceable set of talents, gifts, and positive qualities.  Only you can do what you have been sent here to do.  No one else can. 

 Our higher mind is our perfection — the part of ourselves that has never lived or died, has never known suffering, pain, struggle or failure.  To be created in the universal, supreme and eternal image; to be a direct mirror of the divine; this is the part of ourselves that can move mountains, feed the hungry, and heal the sick.

 When someone does charity work, performs selfless acts of kindness, and contributes anything positive to the world, their higher self is shining through.  It is also demonstrated by simply being a good person in the most basic sense.  When we observe a great painter, read wonderful works of literature, or hear a brilliant musician, those talents and gifts come from the higher self.

Janet is a musician who decided to perform music for people who are in hospice and near the end of their physical journey.  She attempts to use music to help center those who have life threatening illnesses, to help them prepare to transition into spirit gracefully and with peace.  This is Janet’s higher self shining through, where she offers her unique and irreplaceable talents in a positive way to others.  She fills a place in the world that only she can, and through building upon her talents, gifts, and one-of-a-kind qualities, she touches the world through her healing music.

Take a look at what your talents, gifts, and irreplaceable contributions to the collective are.  If you’re not sure, affirm the following:  Infinite intelligence reveals to me the genius of my higher self and shows me what I am divinely here to do!   Then, be prepared to be shown the perfect and divine plan of your life.

Remember that anything that comes from our higher self is worth learning to love and we should learn to do so unconditionally!  This strengthens our spiritual connection, and brings out the best in us. 

However, we tend to blur the lines between what is positive and what is negative about us, and don’t perceive the difference between our higher self, as opposed to our lower self.  So what exactly is our lower self, then, and how do we learn to distinguish between the two?

Second, your lower self

Our lower self is baser than our higher self, and is connected with lower physical reality, such as animal instincts.  Mastering our lower self is part of everyone’s spiritual and karmic journey in the physical world.  We will all need to learn to control such drives and desires in one lifetime or another.

I’m referring to thoughts, words, actions and choices that are negative, mean, dark, ugly, selfish, harmful and destructive to ourselves and others.  Thinking and speaking badly of others are qualities that most of us do every day.  Lying to people, manipulating, and cheating are commonplace, even in polite society.  To a much lesser degree, violence, abuse, murder and suicide also occur in everyday life.

Here we see the ego, lower emotions, selfishness, vanity, greed, arrogance, lack of consideration, and even psychopathic narcissism in action.  With these qualities which typically represent our lower self, we continue to create negative karma.

So what do we do with these energies of our lower self, which all of us possess in varying degrees?  Should we just put the qualities of both the lower self and higher self in a blender, so to speak, mix it up, and learn to love it all?  In reality, the lower self represents the very parts of ourselves that we should not validate, embrace, or learn to love.  

Joe is a man who is ruthlessly ambitious in his career, and is willing to step on anyone to get ahead.  He falsely befriends co workers to gain their confidence, and then uses their own vulnerabilities against them to advance his career.  One such instance happened with Paul, a nice, decent co worker who was higher up in the company than Joe.  Once the two men became friends, Joe observed Paul’s weaknesses, and then used them to seize his position.  Not only did Joe take what wasn’t his, he caused Paul to lose his job, which permanently devastated Paul’s life.

What Joe did certainly wasn’t great.  However, many of us would simply respond to his actions by saying, “Hey, you gotta do what you gotta do to get ahead in this world.”  This part of Joe’s energies: ruthlessness, going after what isn’t his, hurting people, destroying their careers and their lives, should not be loved by Joe, or even tolerated.  These qualities should be let absolutely let go of, and removed from his actions.

It’s the same with your body.  If you had a malignant tumor, how would you treat it?  Would you try to love and accept that tumor – even validate and embrace it?  Of course you wouldn’t.  You would remove it efficiently and permanently.  We should also view our negative energies in the same way.  This is part of our spiritual goal in learning to love ourselves – to remove all of our “bad qualities,” and purify ourselves to do our best to become as virgin snow – not a murky blend of the good, bad, and the ugly.

However, this is not what most of us attempt to do who are on a quest to love ourselves.  We often look at the very best and the absolute worst within us as being one and the same, and attempt to validate it all.  We excuse whatever we do because we’re just simply being ourselves.  Somehow, if it can be rationalized, who we are and what we do all becomes ok in our own minds. 

As time has passed, we now see people using the concept of loving themselves in more distorted, selfish, and narcissistic ways than ever before.  What may have started out as an attempt to have a healthy relationship with oneself has turned into something quite ugly, harmful and out of control.  How could something as seemingly wholesome and enriching turn into something that pronounces and champions the worst in us?  Where did this all come from in the first place, and how did we get here as a society? 

 Three factors of the Lower Self:

1) The birth of “me”

We now all see the phenomenon of everyone loving themselves and celebrating every aspect of who they are.  Therefore, we might assume that since it is this way today, it’s the way it’s always been.  However, there was a time where it wasn’t at all common within our society to be on a journey to love yourself, yet alone all parts of who you are.

 Decades ago, people were much less individualistic then they are today.  When history refers to the generation that fought in World War II as the greatest generation, they were referring to the fact that everyone came together for a common cause.  Self-sacrifice was the creed of that generation – not self-empowerment or being “me.”  In the post World War II era, people started to become more individualistic.  We can see this change crystallized in the social protests of the 1960’s, and the sexual liberation of the 1970’s.  By the 1980’s, everyone forgot about everyone else and got as much money as they could.  In the famed movie “Wall Street,” actor Michael Douglas (as the character Gordon Gecco) smugly stated, “Greed is good.”  Today, we see websites that cater to every single personal nuance, from people with specific sexual fetishes to many who blog all day long about what they had for dinner last night.

2) The Death of Manners and Polite Society

Through everyone now pronouncing their individuality more loudly, we have seen an erosion of manners and the death of polite society as we once knew it.  Through not caring to differentiate between their higher self and lower self, people have become meaner, far less considerate of others and ruder in everyday life.  A recent CNN poll revealed that over 80% of all polled thought that people are much ruder nowadays.  More shocking that that, though, is that 98% of those polled did not think they themselves were rude.

Manners are seen as something that is out of date, silly, and almost Victorian.  Terse emails, interrupting people, and looking out for number one have become today’s mottos.   How often do we hear people define their life philosophy and highest aspiration as, “I get what I want!”  It’s as if a person getting everything they want is now seen as the pinnacle of living life to the fullest, as opposed to trying to make the world a better place through being in it.

Even if people were more restrained in the past simply because it was the way of the world, manners caused all of us to behave better and be treated with more respect.  With polite society gone, people attack others, and we all get hurt.  Through the feeling of being a victim, we even feel more justified in being rude, ugly, and on the attack.  It all gets rationalized as, “I’m just protecting me!”  If we’re selfish, manipulative, and strike back at others, there’s a darn good reason.  We’ve been hurt too many times before, so we’re just standing up for ourselves.  “I’m just taking care of number one,” becomes the new mantra of “survival of the fittest.”

3) The False Empowerment Syndrome

As society has changed, coupled with the glut of self-help books, therapy, various forms of philosophy and spirituality, we now live in a world where people certainly feel empowered.  It’s not enough to just love ourselves anymore.  We’re taught to believe that being us is absolutely great; and that translates into anything and everything we think, say, and do.  As long as we’re not physically attacking someone without cause, most everything else is viewed as acceptable.  Interrupting others, rudeness, mean spirited comments, being inconsiderate, stepping on people to get ahead in this world and violating other’s rights to get what you want are all thought of as just the world we now live in.  If we get caught in a position where we might look bad, we can always find a way to make the end justify the means. 

Through false empowerment, people don’t stop and censor themselves – in fact, everyone has an opinion – about everything.  Worse than that, though, is that people now consider their opinions – on everything, to be valid.  Frequently, one’s opinions are hardly based on anything substantive or factual.  We hear people just spout off about whatever.   However, have they studied or researched what they’re speaking so confidently about?  Where does their information come from?  

It goes without saying that everyone has the right to say whatever they wish; but are all opinions equal?  Of course they’re not.  Would a doctor’s opinion on your health be equal to someone who has never studied medicine?  Most people just shoot their mouth off, without knowing what they’re talking about.  We see cable TV talk show hosts doing this daily.  The person watching the show feels like, “Hey, if he can say whatever he thinks, well then so can I!”  To study, research, and gain some substantive knowledge and awareness of what one bases their opinions on is rare today.  How common is it to hear someone say, “This is my opinion and I have the right to express myself any way I want!”  Just turn on cable television news shows where guests argue, shout over each other, and try to one-up everyone else around the clock.

Day by day, we here certain catch phrases which falsely empower us.  They are so commonplace in our current society, that we take these declarations for granted:    “I get what I want!”  “This is who I am!”  “I like and love everything about me!”  “If you love me, you’ll accept me exactly as I am, and won’t ever ask me to change!”  “I’m just being me!” “This is just the way I am!”  “If you don’t like it, oh well; too bad, so sad!” 

What do these statements all have in common?  They all take only one thing into consideration, which are the selfish needs of the person making the statement.  There is nothing about these proclamations that indicate care for others, consideration of how we impact on anyone else, or any semblance that everything in this universe is interconnected.  Here, we see the lower self exalted and enshrined, while our higher self is dwarfed and suffocated.

Remember, the lower self is addictive, and easy to fall into.  Isn’t it easier to try and do what you want and get what you want, then to step back and ask yourself how your choices and actions impact on others? 

We now see how the positive aspects of self-love have become polluted through both our higher self and lower self being the recipients of acknowledgment, acceptance, unconditional love, and validation.  With these lines completely blurred, the collective world greatly suffers as the overall behavior of people becomes empowered in a negative way.

So is it too late for each of us within our society to truly and clearly know the difference between their higher self and lower self when trying to make the journey to love themselves?   There certainly are solutions, but are they options most people care to look at, process, and ultimately implement?

The Solution – Gravity vs. Weightlessness

First, to solve this issue, each of us would have to want to sort it all out, which is not easy to do.  Isn’t it easier to just doing anything you want?  But even if that desire is there, how do we identify and release the qualities, patterns, behaviors, and attitudes of our lower self, in order to make such heavy negativity weightless?  Here are a few simple and easy tips to follow:

Be both loving to ourselves and loving to others.

If you are being loving to yourself, without being loving to others, you are being selfish.

If you’re loving to others without being loving to yourself, you’re giving too much away, and not being fair to yourself.

Often, people don’t care to reach out to others, and don’t want to be bothered either.  They believe that it’s good enough to just be neutral, detached, and co exist with the world in a non caring way.  We may not offer much to anyone, but if we’re not hurting others, it’s ok.  We stay out of other people’s way, and they need to stay out of ours.

Although being neutral is better than being negative, it is not good enough.  It is like an airplane that is taxing on the runway; it can’t taxi forever, as it needs to get off the ground.  Just like the plane is supposed to take off and rise above the clouds, we need to do the same with our lives.  We do this by building our reality upon the positive qualities of our higher self.  Here is a quick top ten list of thoughts, words, perspectives, and actions that will steer you in the right direction:

1. Be considerate of others
2. Be polite and have good manners
3. Let go of negative thoughts and words about others, (and also of yourself)
4. Remember that you are not separate – everything you do affects everything and everyone else
5. Don’t be a victim – victims always attack and feel falsely justified in doing so
6. Be kind in any way you can
7. Try to offer your special qualities, talents and gifts to the world
8. Don’t lie, manipulate, or behave rudely toward others
9. Apologize if and when you fall short
10. Be generous in all ways – remember, to give is to receive

Practice this top 10 list every day, as it will lighten the heaviness of your lower self.

 Remember, it is us who create the gravity when it comes to our lower self.  Through emotional and mental attachment, negative thoughts, words, actions and choices, we give it weight, and in turn, that really weighs us down.  If we choose to release our own negativity, there is nothing that can keep these old derelict qualities weighed down within us. 

As the negative qualities of our lower self become released, they can be carried off by the gentle winds high above the clouds, up and away where they return to their native nothingness.  By letting go, it is literally like turning a ten ton boulder on our backs into a feather – there is no more weight!  We have transcended gravity– through releasing the burden, the load, and the heaviness of our subjective negative qualities – and yes, we all have them.  It’s only us who can give them weight – and only us who can make them weightless.  Don’t defend yourself or try to be the victim.  Tell it like it is, and set yourself free!

When we build our journey on our higher self, nothing needs to be excused or rationalized!  It is all good – and it is all loveable. From that foundation, everything we are, think, say, and do – our choices, talents, gifts, spirituality, career, finances – as well as what we do with our bodies and sexuality all contributes to what is divine and magnificent in this world.  This is worth loving unconditionally!

Learning how to love ourselves the right way has always been about healing the darkness within – not embracing, enhancing, celebrating, validating, and building our lives on it as so many of us do!  As we discover the right way to love ourselves, we find it easy to do, if we only remember one simple guideline:  Let go of the negative qualities of the lower self, and learn to love what is naturally, inherently, eternally and already loveable about you – your higher self.

If you are interested in having a reading with Jim1537, click here.

[picappgallerysingle id="7292611"] 

In a reading, we hear that we have tasks, goals, lessons to learn, and a spiritual purpose to our journey.  We accept this information because it strikes a chord within us on a deep spiritual level.  In addition, there are things we want to accomplish, such as our own personal goals and dreams.  Of course our physical lifetime is finite, and will someday come to an end.  This means that we only have a certain amount of time in any given lifetime to learn our lessons and achieve our goals. 

Many times, we come to a place in our journey where we fear that the clock will run out on us.  What do we do, then, when we feel that we’re running out of time to achieve our goals and dreams, and furthermore, is that fear always necessarily true?

Are You Really Running Out Of Time?
Meghan came from a family where a good portion of the women had female problems at a young age, often resulting in the need for a complete hysterectomy.  She married when she was just 19, and immediately felt the urgency to have children.  Meghan couldn’t wait at all; not even a couple of years, as she was convinced that she too, would end up with the same female reproductive issues.  She carried a dreaded fear that she was running out of time.  However, the doctor told her that she was healthy from a reproductive perspective, yet the fear held her in its terrifying grip.  So Meghan held onto this unrealistic fear at the age of 19, when indeed she wasn’t running out of time at all…

When internal panic sets in and we fear that the time for our dreams is almost up, it is paramount that we don’t let this panic direct our choices or course of action, or we’ll make the wrong decisions.  First, we must calm down, as we won’t see anything clearly while in a state of emotional panic.  Remember, there is a solution; there is a plan.  Try to take a step back and look at the situation from a non emotional point of view.  Call upon higher guidance from the divine universe, and have an open mind, (minus the fear and beyond the panic) so that you can receive the
transcendent guidance that will help you to set up an effective plan of action.

Then, when the plan is clear, do NOT deviate from it with impulsive actions.  I have seen people initially get past their panic, architect a really good course of action, then sabotage everything by slipping into impetuous and impulsive emotional choices!  Stayon point when the plan is right, and don’t get taken off course.

Cutting It Too Close
Sometimes, we know a decision needs to be made, but we put it off until the last minute, and almost do run out of time.  Often, these last minute choices have not so good consequences…

A man needed a new eye doctor to get new contact lenses and glasses, but kept putting it off.  Then, at the very last minute, he looked in the phone book, and seemed lucky to secure an immediate appointment with an eye doctor.  In rushing to the doctor’s office, he hadn’t thought to ask what the price of the eye exam would be.  While he was waiting to see the doctor, the receptionist said to him, “By the way, the eye exam is $253.00.” (In the area he lived in, the going rate for an eye exam was $65.00 to $75.00.)  Because of waiting so long, he didn’t feel that he had other options, so he just decided to have the eye exam. Furthermore, he tried on a pair of glasses he liked, and as he was getting comfortable with them, the receptionist quickly slipped in, “These glasses are nine ninety nine,” as in nine hundred and ninety nine dollars.  Obviously, the service and glasses were overpriced, but he since he cut everything so close time wise, he just felt he had to accept the situation as it was.

If he would have not waited till the last minute, he could have explored other options.  The divine universe could have assisted, intervened, and helped guide him to the perfect eye doctor.  So here we see that by waiting until the clock almost ran out, his ability to make the right choice was compromised.

 Running Out Of Time
Even more problematic than that though, are the situations where we actually are running out of time.  One of the most common examples of this is when women still wish to have children who are in their late thirties and into their mid forties.  A woman I grew up with got married in her late twenties, and then divorced her husband about nine years later, simply because she was bored with him.  Her marriage lacked sexual passion and excitement, so after her divorce, she decided to get involved with an edgy and wild man.  At the time, she thought she would just have a little fun, and then move on with her life.

She disregarded the fact that she didn’t have a lot of time left to have kids, or the very serious and obvious repercussions that could occur from her new relationship.  Through this single choice, her biological clock ran out and she never had kids.  This relationship also set her up to get involved with several new men who were carbon copies of the “edgy and wild man,” which left her emotionally abused, scarred, and miserable well into the future.

As many of us have seen or experienced, this literal potential of running out of time is terribly upsetting for a woman in this position.  It is similar to someone who wants to become an athlete, but is in their late twenties and fears that the clock is about to expire.  Often, when people are in old age and near the end of their physical journey, they feel compelled to make amends with those from their past where bad feelings still exist. 

On top of that, so many of us have felt the restless nagging question of, “Oh my God, I want to do something, but do I realistically have enough time left to do it?”  Often, we make choices that are highly charged and emotionally driven.  By disregarding the consequences (which are often quite obvious), we set ourselves up to run out of time.  We need to look at this dynamic, as it is often us who “shoot ourselves in the foot.”

Choices which actually cause us to run out of time may occur long before we can actually see the damage those choices ultimately do.  It is usually predicated on the erroneous belief that we have all the time in the world.  This cavalier arrogance has been at the root of many a choice that causes us to really run out of time.  

No one has unlimited chances in a given lifetime; yet we so foolishly perceive that we do.  Besides our finite chances, the repercussions of our choices can be life altering.  The consequences of these choices may echo on for years, decades, and even lifetimes.   I’ve seen people think that they can just fix it later, and continue to set themselves up for their ultimate downfall.

 How to Manage the Clock
What we need to do is to use all of tools available to us when assessing our possible choices, so that we can manage the clock.

1-First, listen to your intuition.  Your inner guidance is always there.  No matter how complicated and confusing a situation mayappear, your intuition does know the right way.  It is our job to listen, as intuition will reveal to us the truth that may not yet be apparent to our naked eyes.  Remember, intuition is beyond our literal five senses, and will simply speak to us, without explanation.  Gut level feelings and hunches are there, along with a sense of knowing, which seemingly comes out of nowhere.

2-Analyze the situation and simply look at it for what it is.  Lay out the facts, and observe all of the perceivable factors involved. Analysis will provide a complimentary tool to intuition, as both have a valid place in our decision making process.  When analyzing, you will assess what can be seen logically and factually.  Often, a situation will make complete sense if you just look at it from an objective standpoint.

3-Listen to the opinions of the people in your life who care for you.  Since those who love us have our best interests at heart, their viewpoints are coming from a place of support.  It doesn’t mean that you have to do what they recommend, but rather, consider their opinions and be open-minded.  Don’t become defensive based on the fear of losing control of your life, as it is still your decision in the end.  Often, it is the opinions of others that hold up a mirror and reveal a situation for what it is.  This reflects our own subjectivity and skewed perspectives back to us, allowing us to hopefully get past such small mindedness, and make the right choices. 

4-Ask the universe for guidance.  That old phrase of, “Ask and ye shall receive” applies here.  The universe is filled with infinite wisdom, and when we ask, the right information will come to us.  A dream, a book, a movie, something someone says in passing, our family and friends, a spiritual message, are all ways in which the universe will answer our requests!  Here is an affirmation to achieve this:  “The divine and infinite universe immediately provides me with all of the information I need to make the right decision regarding this situation for my highest good!”

5-Look inside and know that the truth does exist within yourself.  Our higher self is always present, like an eternal shining light of love, wisdom, and truthful awareness.  By directing your focus inward, you will unlock the correct answers for any given situation.  Remember, the truth lies within our very own being; the answers are there!

Perhaps most importantly, is for us to NOT look at the situation from an emotional point of view.  Try your best to disregard what you want, as what you want may NOT be what you need or for your highest good.  Remember, your emotions may not be accurate at all.  It doesn’t matter how intense and seemingly real our feelings are. Nothing will cloud, alter, color, and distort intuition, logic, perspective, awareness, the way we perceive the opinions of others, and any truthful information like our emotions do!  Again, do NOT look at the situation from the viewpoint of what you want.  Step back; try to be unattached, so that you can allow the truth to guide your choices.  This way, you won’t have to face the panic, terror, and ultimate sadness of running out of time.

I’ll Fix It in the Next Lifetime
I’ve heard people say that if they run out of time in this lifetime, they’ll just fix it in their next lifetime; as if we can reincarnate, pick up where we left off and take care of business then.  This perception is similar to watching a television episode which contains several parts which are each viewed weekly till the last part is concluded.

If only it were that simple!  It can literally take decades, hundreds of years, or even centuries for us to be able to try and fix it in a future lifetime!   “Why could it take so long,” you might ask?

1-First, you can only have your personality for one lifetime.  If you are Ken Smith in this physical lifetime, that personality cannot reincarnate again.  We architect our personality for each lifetime, which is largely based on what our lessons are, what we’ve agreed to experience, and our spiritual goals.

In your next lifetime, it is presumed that you will have new lessons, which will require a different and appropriate personality.  You won’t be able to learn the lessons from a prior life in a new and different personality.  The lessons and the personality must be compatible and work in tandem.

2-All of the people who were involved with you and your lessons must be present.  If you have karma to work out with your brother Joe, that karma cannot be completed with someone else.  It is not as if people are interchangeable parts in our spiritual growth.  The souls themselves must work things out; not have substitutes, or someone random to fill in for them.

3-All of the parties involved would need to be able to reincarnate at the same time, and have the same lessons as they did in the prior lifetime.  Also, the correct physical circumstances would need to be present on earth (which is in a constant state of change) to have that chance to work things out.  How likely is that?  Every one of these humanly uncountable variables would all need to happen simultaneously for you to have another shot at working out the lessons and karma from before – from the lifetime where you ran out of time.

Remember, it is likely that something may be karmic if we are compelled to run toward it, or to run away from it.  Because of how intensely we feel, we may not do the right thing.  Emotional intensity can be misleading, confusing, and downright inaccurate, facilitating choices which cause us to run out of time.  This makes things far worse for us!

If John had two ways to drive to work: one on the freeway, and one on the side streets, which road should he take?  The freeway is torn up with heavy construction, and it is clear that there will be problems getting stuck in traffic.  However, the side streets are not torn up with construction.  The time it would take to get to work on the side streets is somewhat slow, but completely predictable.  However, John has always loved taking the freeway, because he hates the stop and go aspect of driving on the side streets route. 

This is an important choice, because John’s boss is coming in from out of town, and John has to meet him first thing in the morning on time regarding a project they are on.  His boss is only coming in town for one day. 

John’s emotions strongly tell him to take the freeway and that it will be ok.  In fact, he’s convincing himself that it is actually his intuition that is guiding him to take the freeway.  The facts are obvious, so intuition is not needed here.  It’s clear that John should take the side streets, because he needs to make sure to get to work on time for this important meeting.  But instead, John gave into his emotions, (masquerading as intuition) and was confident that things would be just fine.   He’d be able to breeze down the freeway as he did before there was construction.  However, he got stuck on the freeway in so many delays, that he completely missed his meeting with the boss who came in from out of town. 

This one choice set up a series of irrevocable and life changing outcomes: 

1-The boss was furious, which caused John to get removed from the project. 
2-That led to John not being selected for future projects, which in turn caused him to be marginalized in the company. 
3-Eventually, John was fired. 

Initially after being fired, John was quite confident that he would bounce back by finding a great new job, and rehabilitate his career.  When things didn’t turn around quickly for John, he became frustrated and resentful of the position he found himself in.  Because his attitude and approach became worse, John’s career never recovered.  As he entered old age, he figured that he would just have to come back and fix his career in his next lifetime.

Here, John ended up in a position that none of us ever want to be in.  By looking at his story, it should inspire us to make correct choices and take care of business now – in this lifetime, and not erroneously think that we can just fix it in our next lifetime. 
 
Some Helpful Tools
There are many tools and techniques for us to use and take advantage of, which will help us to be on time, and not have the clock run out on us in our journeys:

1-To start with, think it through.  There are so very few circumstances in our lives where we absolutely must act immediately.  (How often is a robber trying to break into our place of residence where we must make a split second life or death decision?)  Work through the issues and make your decisions and choices from a calm, unattached perspective.  Don’t be in a hurry!  Remember the phrase, “When in doubt, do nothing.”  It is usually us who set up our own problems, and by thinking it all through, things will turn out for the best.

2-The idea is to resolve negative karma; not create more.  As I stated earlier, it is likely that something may be karmic if we are compelled to run toward it, or to run away from it.  When you’re feeling intensely about something, know that it is probably karmic
in nature.  Therefore, it takes extra attention and focus to make the right choices – not necessarily the ones that feel good emotionally.  Step back from your emotions, use all of the tools the universe affords us, and make the choices that resolve karma.

3-Fulfill your destiny.  You have agreed to this journey, and laid out the spiritual road map and plan that is only yours by divine right.  Your soul yearns to fulfill this destiny, as you then grow, and offer your irreplaceable contributions to the collective.  It is all good!  Only you can do what you agreed to come here to do.  No one else can ever offer what only you can offer.  Don’t deny this great plan that you have set up.  Definitely fulfill it with all of your strength!

4-Avoid regret and self destruction.  I have seen people make such obviously self defeating choices, miss their opportunities to achieve their dreams, and end up with tremendous regret and debilitating self destruction in the end.  You can avoid this mess by understanding how time doesn’t wait for anyone.  Don’t act carelessly, and never think for a minute that you have all the time in the world.  None of us do!

Often people play games with their spiritual awareness and try to have it both ways.  It’s the concept of talking the talk, but not walking the walk.  For these people, they can voice the right spiritual lingo, and profess to understand all of the necessary tools.  However, when it comes to their own emotions, they throw it all out the window, and simply do what they want.  These choices are not well thought out, reasoned or intuited, but merely acted out based on emotions which are not centered, healthy, or spiritual. 

Then, the ego typically thinks that everything can just be fixed.  But that is hardly the case.  Rationalizations don’t make a self debilitating choice turn back the clock and allow us to start over. As shown throughout this writing, the consequences for our choices can cause us to run out of time in this lifetime; and then have it all put on hold indefinitely, till we have another potential opportunity in a future lifetime to fulfill our destiny.

Instead of the ego being in control, keep the ego in check by rising above it when making decisions.  Truly use all of the tools available to you, and be humble.  This way, regret and self destruction can be avoided.

5-Others can help.  Remember, none of us can do it all alone.  If we could, we would be able to reproduce by ourselves, and bury ourselves when we leave our bodies.  We are all interconnected and dependent on each other to make this journey work.  Don’t be afraid to reach out to a therapist, a psychic, a life coach, or anyone who can help you.  As mentioned earlier, friends and family who care for you can also assist.  Surprisingly, even people you might not think have a lot of awareness of what you’re going through can startle you with the divine messages they bring through.  We all help and teach each other!   Be open to the assistance others will offer you.

6-Avoid carrying it with you past this lifetime.  Don’t be a cliché of your age bracket.  Typically, teenagers haven’t the slightest clue as to their mortality.  People in their twenties usually don’t either.  Usually, it isn’t until we reach middle age and old age that we start becoming aware that the clock is ticking.  By then, it may be too late to fix our choices and manifest our dreams. 

If you’re young, don’t be cavalier, careless and arrogant, as the clock in this lifetime doesn’t keep ticking forever.  If you’re in middle age or older, know that as long as you’re in this physical lifetime, the clock is still running, and you can make choices that improve your situation.  Be conscious that the clock is finite, and don’t squander time.  This is not to say to be afraid of dying and live in fear.  Not at all. 

Be aware that there is a cosmic plan, which ties into time as we experience it here on earth.  There is a time where the universe sets things up for us.  Everything falls into place for you to make the right choices.  This can be referred to as, “When nature supports a decision, you know it’s the right one.”   Nature will lay it all out for you, but you have to make the appropriate choices.  Again, rise above your ego, be extremely careful of the role your emotions play, and use all of the tools afforded you.

None of us want to carry the weight of such heavy baggage with us past this lifetime.  It can be devastating for us to look back on our most recent physical incarnation after we’ve transitioned into spirit, see all of our missed opportunities, and have to live with that.  Then, we can only hope and wait for future physical lifetimes to possibly “get it right.”

Some Words of Inspiration
It’s reasonable to assume that all of us have feared running out of time, and felt that the time for us to manifest our dreams has expired.  However, as long as we’re in this incarnation, the clock is still running, and progress can be made.  We can only do what we’ve agreed to do here on earth while we’re in our physical body. It cannot be done after we’ve transitioned and are on the other side.  Since we are right here – right now, let’s take a look at the clock and know that the power is in this very moment!

Instead of living with regret, fear and apprehension, take advantage of this incredible opportunity.  You have all that you need to work with and manage the clock. 

Just think of it:  your personality, physical body, mind, abilities, logic, intuition, and internal awareness will help you to make the right choices.  The knowledge of the entire universe is yours, including the infinite tools of truth, guidance, awareness and wisdom that are eternal.  Take advantage of the benefit of family and friends who love, care for, and support you, along with any other people who will assist you.  Your spiritual teachers and loved ones on the other side will always provide support, guidance, messages, love, and protection for you.  All of the necessary physical circumstances, along with all of the people needed to fulfill your destiny and complete your journey on time are in the
picture.  This has already been agreed to before you came into this lifetime.  Since the stage has been set, opportunity is now here for you. 

 Don’t be afraid of running out time; yet don’t make foolish choices and squander the clock either.  Time is not your enemy.  Know deep within that time is your friend, and that time is on your side!  Everyone and everything is in place – so don’t miss out.  This physical lifetime you’re currently in is not just a “once in a lifetime opportunity,” but rather, a “once in an eternity opportunity!”  May your dreams come true; on time — right at the perfect time.

 If you are interested in having a reading with Jim1537, click here.

There’s this old joke that goes like this:

A pious man was caught in a flood and the water was creeping upwards as he sat in his house. He prayed and prayed that God would save him. When the water was approaching the porch, someone in a truck drove up, and offered him a ride. He said, “No, God will save me.”

As the water crept over the porch, a boat came by and a young man shouted for him to get in. Once again, the pious man said, “No, God will save me.”

A short while later, now perched atop his roof, he saw a helicopter fly by, trying to rescue him. Once again, he refused, saying, “No, God will save me.” He then drowned.

Arriving in heaven, he met the glorious God Almighty. The man’s first question of God was, “Lord, why didn’t You save me?” And God replied, “My son, I tried saving you three times! I sent a truck, a boat, and a helicopter! What more did you want?”

The story’s point is obvious:  The man was so busy waiting for God to save him in a miraculous way, that he ignored the help he was being sent. It’s food for thought: Is the universe sending something to help you that you’re not seeing?

If you are interested in having a reading with Jim1537, click here.