Voice of the Spirit

In today’s blog entry, I address five of the most common yet misunderstood terms we see in readings; and in Part 2, I will cover five new additional terms.  In Part 3, I will conclude this three part series by shedding light on ten new reoccurring yet misunderstood phrases and questions witnessed in psychic consultations.

In readings, terms such as: “love,” and “soul mate” are so common, we each tend to assume that what these things mean to us individually is exactly how everyone else, including a psychic views them; and not only that, but we believe that our definitions and understandings are universal, factual, and spiritually accurate. However, these terms are like a loaded gun and literally like walking through a mine field as they are so very highly emotionally charged and volatile.  Remember, they can mean a million different things to a million different people.  Therefore, it is our own personal and subjective reactions, emotional bias, misunderstandings, and/or inaccurate spiritual definitions regarding these terms that indicate how we often interpret and receive insights in a reading.  Often, we distort and take out of context what can be truthful guidance offered from the higher realms.  In addition, we sometimes only hear one specific part of what a reader is saying and discard the rest that doesn’t suit us emotionally at the time, and/or we manipulate and twist the meaning of valid spiritual messages into being what we want to hear… In this writing, I would like to take a look at terms that everyone has experienced when having readings and define what they really spiritually mean, and look at how so many of us don’t take what a reading can offer to us correctly in an attempt to offer the clarity we need to get the most out of any consultation.  Love Of all of the topics that come up in a reading, love (as in romantic love) is perhaps the most common, with many (if not most) clients completely distorting and misconstruing the real meaning of the term, and therefore, losing whatever value the session can offer them.  Most people equate love with subjective, personal, emotional attachment, desire, passion, sexual intensity and how they feel toward someone.  “I’ve got to have you;” I can’t live without you;” and “You’re mine;” are all statements we’ve either said ourselves or heard others say frequently.  Possessiveness, neediness, jealousy, intensity, overreaction, and even abuse are all things most of us think of as being love, just like two teenagers who share their first kiss, or someone who is merely engaging in a part time sexual relationship.  Jennifer was a woman who misconstrued an abusive relationship she was in for being a loving one and decided to go see her psychic supposedly for some insights into the situation. She had been with a man for five long years who had lied, cheated and physically abused her, yet Jennifer believed he truly loved her.  When she was having a reading, her psychic Tanya clearly stated that this man did not love Jennifer at all, and of course, she was upset and misinterpreted the information that was being offered.  She thought that what Tanya meant was that if this man didn’t love her, he would never see her again.  However, the reader was not saying that at all – in fact, Jennifer’s psychic Tanya told Jennifer that he could be in and out of Jennifer’s life for another ten years, but still, just because he could be in the picture, didn’t mean that he loved her.  The mistake Jennifer made was that she assumed that if he’s indeed in her life and there’s a lot of intensity (even if it is all negative), that he must love her.  Remember, most of us equate volatile desire and dark, powerful emotions with love just as Jennifer did.  However, they are clearly not necessarily one and the same.  Here we see that Jennifer’s definition of love was completely different then the reader’s.  Therefore, Jennifer couldn’t get past the concept that this man didn’t love her, so she lost any value the consultation could offer her.  The higher purpose of this reading was to help her see this man for who he is, understand why she would choose someone like this and extricate herself from such a toxic and destructive relationship.  What Jennifer should have done would have been to ask the reader to define what the term love means and to have a common ground in the consultation regarding this very misunderstood word. Because Jennifer didn’t have a clear definition of “love,” she believed that the psychic was dead wrong when this man came back into her life – even though it’s exactly what her reader predicted.  Jennifer refused to believe that this man could indeed come back to her and at the same time, still not love her. As there are perhaps so many varying and contradictory perspectives of what love is, here is a simple definition that provides a foundation to work from:   “You know you love someone when their happiness is essential to your own well being.”  Also, regardless of how they feel about you or treat you, “You have to be loving to yourself as well as loving to the other person.”  (This reason that it is so important for us to also love ourselves the best we can, is that it will help us to not get into or stay with negative self destructive relationships as Jennifer did.)

Keep in mind that love in its pure form is unconditional, unattached, accepting, never judgmental, and ever-present and that has to be something you try to give yourself as well as to someone else.  Pure love is like a parent who loves their newborn infant with the utmost of reverence, respect, and unconditional elation.  Remember, it can’t just be you giving to another without respecting yourself at the same time.

However, in the “real world,” many people’s relationships fall short of such an aspiration, as two people never love each other equally.  So it would be too lofty of an ideal to say that every couple shares equal consideration and concern for each other’s well being.

Because of how emotionally explosive “love” is, people use the word to describe anything from a one night stand to someone lying, cheating, and physically abusing them.  That certainly is not an accurate definition of love, but nonetheless, the way someone having a reading may view it.  Keep in mind that when you’re having a reading, always remember that since your reader is not going through the emotions you are, they can view the word “love” in a more dispassionate, objective way, as Jennifer’s reader Tanya was trying to do for her.   This is assuming that they are real and ethical as a psychic, because if those qualities are there, their insights will be beneficial to you. 

Conversely, there are many readers out there who deliberately scam clients financially through playing on their false hopes by telling them that any relationship is a keeper and no matter how dark it looks now, it will conclude with the commitment of a lifetime.  In addition, there are delusional readers who only allow themselves to believe in happy endings.  As nice as it may sound, it is absolutely disastrous, as let’s face it; every ending in our journey is not going to be a happy one.  It would be like a doctor who is only be willing to think that every patient he or she sees is ultimately going to end up being healthy, regardless of their current medical condition.

With each relationship, a gifted and ethical psychic can assess the reality of the situation: is their real love from the other person or not, will it ever be there, and how is it best for you, the client, to proceed forward with your journey?  Try to have your definition of love be centered and clear and not filled with over reactive hot button emotions.  If need be, always clarify this very all encompassing, loaded and often misleading term when having a reading to get the most from the divine information spirit has to offer you.

Soul Mate

One of the most misunderstood and inappropriately used terms in a reading, “soul mate,” is one that most clients don’t understand.  When having a reading, hearing the term “soul mate” suggests: two people being together forever, laughing and giggling next to the fireplace with drinks in hand in their beautiful home, completing each other’s sentences and making love with wild abandon ‘round the clock.

And even though someone might possibly experience those things with their soul mate, there is no one dimensional description of a real soul mate relationship.  Whatever the two entities involved have done to each other in past lives determines and indicate the karma (both good and bad), that is present in this lifetime.  Also, the spiritual/life lessons they are here to learn will define each soul mate relationship separately and individually.  Therefore, a soul mate relationship can entail absolutely anything including not being together at all to being married till death do us part.

But the term is emotionally charged.  People ask about their soul mate as if they believe that it refers to “the one,” where time stands still at the moment they first meet, everyone else will literally fade from view and what follows will forever be eternal bliss, fulfillment and completion of all of their dreams.  However, that is hardly ever the case, as soul mate relationships are always complex.  By the mere fact that you’ve spent so many lifetimes together (possibly more than with anyone else), there is the tremendous likelihood that one or both parties have created a lot of negative karma, therefore lessons and growth now need to be learned. Often, clients think that the person they feel the most intensely toward must be their soul mate, which is not necessarily true.  Again, it depends on the individual lessons involved between the two entities in question.  Even though we like to believe that are soul mate relationship will be a romantic one, and sometimes it indeed is, that is not always the case.  Sometimes, a mother and a child are soul mates; often, twins are as well; and even sometimes lifelong business partners can be legitimate soul mates.  In addition, just because someone is our soul mate doesn’t mean that we would be the happiest with them as our romantic life partner.  It all depends on what the lessons are and the past life karma that’s involved.  Sometimes, a relationship where there is less negative karma between you and another person provides a better opportunity for happiness in the long run. For clients having readings, it is always important to look at the term soul mate through neutral eyes — meaning that there is no rule of thumb or guarantee as to what one’s soul mate relationship will entail.  It must be looked at on a case by case basis.  With having an open mind, the reader can hopefully offer accurate information regarding your real soul mate relationship, what it potentially is and isn’t, and guide you toward the best course of action for you to take in this earthly journey. Keep in mind that there is distinct difference between your soul mate relationship and the various karmic relationships we have.  Karmic relationships are those which are important to us and relevant because karma exists between the parties involved.  That karma can be good, bad, and/or a mixture of the two and in any karmic relationship, the nature of the karma (based on past thoughts, words, and actions by those involved), determines how these relationships are spiritually set up to unfold in an incarnation. Your soul mate is the one entity who was cast down from the Godhead to walk with you through this eternal journey as you began the reincarnation journey.  That is only one person: not two, three, or more, as we do not have multiple soul mates.  In pop culture you can hear absolutely anything and everything regarding this term as it is in vogue.  Believe it or not, I actually saw a book once entitled, “How to meet your celebrity soul mate!”  Believe it or not, the premise of this book was what we all have a celebrity soul mate.  In popular culture, there is a multitude of false and erroneous definitions of what a soul mate is.  However, we must keep in mind that each of us only have one soul mate, and the dynamics of that relationship cannot be defined in a general way, as it is one that singular and unique unto itself. Relationship versus Committed Relationship When readers predict any kind of a relationship, a client often adds the word “Committed” in their own mind to try and maneuver what is being said to fit their own emotional expectations of what will actually be there in the future.  Remember, there are many varying types of relationships and it’s easy to see any “relationship” as something that has the makings of being one that will end up in a commitment. People who are dating each other part time with one or both parties also seeing other people, (whether openly or secretly), may feel they’re moving toward a commitment.  Even people who are just being used on the side sexually by someone who is married can feel that commitment with this person is in their forecast, while some even take a casual “friends with benefits” situation as something that will lead to something permanent down the road.  The term “Committed Relationship” has a very positive and reassuring ring to it: suggesting security, fidelity, and a long term union with a solid future.  However, just because a committed relationship is predicted in a reading, doesn’t mean that everything that comes with it will only be positive or what one wants.  Often, when receiving a reading, hearing that there will be a commitment is all that is emotionally absorbed by the client, while everything else is discarded. However, in a given reading, the client must hear all dimensions and elements of what is coming through from spirit to see exactly what type of relationship is being predicted and commented on.  If it is going to be a commitment, what kind of union will that be?  Even with marriages, each one has its own special, unique one-of-a-kind dynamic – and that is sometimes great, other times horrible, and/or a mixture of the two.

Karen met a man named Rob on a trip and fell instantly in love with him.  He seemed to feel the same way, as he kept contacting her daily for nine weeks straight, so she decided to see her psychic Serena about the situation.

Serena had a very clear image of this man: he was tall with dark hair and worked as an accountant.  These were all attributes that Karen confirmed about Rob.  Then, much to Karen’s shock and delight, Serena predicted that Rob would try and marry Karen within only a matter of three months.  However, Serena also felt that it was too soon to tie the knot in such a short time and that the marriage would only last about a year or so.  Furthermore, Serena felt that Rob was an alcoholic and an unfaithful man.  Of course, Karen didn’t want to hear any of this – all she allowed herself to hear were the terms: “Committed Relationship” — and “Marriage.”

So she only took want she wanted out the reading and walked out of the consultation as if she was on cloud nine and indeed, married Rob within three months.  Yes, this was a committed relationship, but what kind was it?  Everything the reader predicted came true: Rob cheated on Karen, he was an alcoholic and on top of that, he actually dumped Karen for another woman after about a year of marriage.  If Karen would have listened to what Serena was saying, she could have avoided what turned out to be a terribly costly mess, as the scars she incurred from her marriage to Rob are still with her.

When we want what we want, we lose our perspective – and sure, we could all say that this is just being human, but part of what we’re here to learn in this physical dimension is to master our emotional natures, and not just act on whatever we feel.  Pretending a dime is a million dollars doesn’t make it one, and often, one pays a heavy price for trying to only hear one part of what a reader is saying about a relationship in question. 

Hopefully, we can all learn a great deal from Karen’s story, as the right information was provided to her by Serena, clearly and concisely.  Karen, like so many of us, only took the one part of the reading that suited her emotionally – and discarded the rest.  We must all do our best to respectfully take note and listen to what spirit offers, as it is there to help us make the choices that keep us out of harm’s way, and open the door to our divinely deserved blessings.

Connection

The term “connection” has profound implications – that there is a cosmically binding link between two people that it is meant to be and beyond how things appear at the time… Most clients believe that when they speak of the term “connection” regarding a romantic relationship in a reading, it indicates a union that will someday be binding, lifelong, and absolute. 

It’s easy to believe that the other person we feel connected to will somehow and someday end up feeling the same way toward us and we’ll end up together.  Even though this is typically what a client feels when receiving a reading regarding a particular “connection,” there is no rule of thumb as to the outcome of any situation, regardless of one’s emotional intensity, and it must be looked at one situation at a time.

Sometimes the connection a client feels with another is completely real and they will end up with that person; while at other times, the possibility is there but through choices by either party, the connection either leads to a long term commitment or falls short of a permanent union.  In some instances, the relationship is only partial and cannot go the distance, no matter how powerfully one feels about it; yet shockingly to some clients, the connection they feel is mostly or solely one sided, not based on reciprocal feelings, and is largely or completely based on their own false internal projections.

We let our emotions get the best of us – meaning that just because we feel a connection to someone else, no matter how profound it feels to us, doesn’t necessarily mean that the other person feels the same way. We must step outside of our emotions and allow guidance to come through in a reading to identify the reality of whatever it truly is we’re experiencing.

Jonathan had a reading where he asked his psychic Mary Lou about a younger woman named Kristy.  They went on a few dates, and afterwards, she had cut off all contact with Jonathan for the last six months – but Jonathan believed Kristy was “the one,” and ostensibly wanted to get some insight into the situation.

The psychic felt that Kristy went back to her ex boyfriend and that she was no longer interested in Jonathan and that he should let the situation go in order to meet someone new.  When Jonathan heard this, he reacted quite strongly to Mary Lou and said:  “You mean she doesn’t want me?  I felt such a connection with her from the moment I laid eyes on her and I have never felt that way before.  You’ve got to be wrong.  I know what I felt was real and that we’ll end up together.”

So time went by and Jonathan never heard from Kristy as she refused to answer any of his messages.  After seven long years of trying to contact her every so often to reconnect, Jonathan finally got the answer he needed when Kristy responded to one of his emails with the threat of harassment charges if he ever contacted her again. 

Jonathan then finally conceded that the “connection” he felt may have not been what he so adamantly believed it to be.  Kristy was married with two kids by this time and obviously wasn’t interested in coming back to Jonathan.  Needless to say, it was a humbling experience for Jonathan who took a brief moment where two uneventful dates occurred, and tried to turn it into a profound beginning of a lifelong, eternal connection.  He convinced himself that this “connection” was absolutely from above and meant to be.

Here we see that we should never assume anything about the conclusion of the connection we feel.  Just because we feel it, doesn’t mean that it is reciprocal, or that it will turn out the way we believe with our entire being.  We cannot just lead with our feelings and desires, and assume that our emotions are one and the same as God’s divine destiny.

His reader Mary Lou knew this over six years ago and shared it with Jonathan.  Because of his refusal to listen back then, Jonathan wasted all of those years waiting on a dream that was not going to come true, when instead, he could have listened with an open mind and heart, let go of Kristy, and met the person who is right for him.

Chemistry

“Chemistry” is one of the most seductive and hypnotic terms that comes up in a reading, because the implication is that it is always a fantastic thing.  However, just like the varying levels of quality that can be present in any relationship, chemistry is in and of itself neither always good, or to the opposite extreme, always bad.  It can be either one or the other or a combination of both, and that is determined by the basis from where the chemistry is coming from.

Certain chemistries are only physical – literally.  Remember, we are in a physical body which is built and designed to be sexual, and even though we’re on a spiritual path, we can’t ignore our earthly qualities either.  We see a hot movie star in a movie making love on the screen.  They are great to look at, charismatic, sexy, and we feel chemistry.  But it is not based on the essence of the person, or a real connection we share with them.  It is merely physical and there’s nothing wrong with that. 

Now take to the next level: a woman is driving down the street and sees a construction worker with his shirt off who has ripped abs and bulging tight muscles and sunglasses on.  That woman feels chemistry toward that guy, but is it worth acting on?

We can even go one level higher: a man is at a business meeting and a drop dead gorgeous female coworker enters the room.  She is tall with long shapely legs, gorgeous flowing blond hair and has a perfect body and face to march.  In fact, she looks like a high fashion model.  Her demeanor is confident, breezy and aloof and he feels immediate chemistry like a lightning bolt — and again, it is physical and nothing more.

But in this instance, he could act on this chemistry as getting to know her is potentially within reach, but in reality, he probably shouldn’t as it is only physical plus they work together.  Remember, we shouldn’t take all aspects of the chemistry we feel all that seriously and it is dangerous if and when we try and base something in our lives as important as a real relationship merely on physical chemistry.

Then there are other times where chemistry is such a deep and wondrous thing, as it brings out the very best in us.  There is a physical, spiritual, mental, personality, and energetic match between two people who absolutely bring out the best in each other.  The chemistry that drew the two people together is the initial spark that laid the foundation for a lifelong union.  We see this is really successful marriages where two people are truly in love, blend together, and just cherish each other’s company.  That type of chemistry is enriching and helps us to blossom together and separately as well.

However, all chemistry is not good as we like to believe and sometimes, it reflects on our worst and most self destructive qualities.  In these instances, it is our lower self that feels that chemistry – it is dark, dangerous, and potentially life debilitating.  We of course don’t like to acknowledge such a thing, because there is the strong presumption that “chemistry” is not only necessary for a relationship, but is always a very good thing.  Plus, negative chemistry is quite addictive, all consuming and obsessive.

Think of it this way: We can feel chemistry with cocaine, heroin, alcohol, and violence, but are these things good for us?  Of course they’re not.  It is the same thing with relationships.  Just because we feel more electrified, turned on and drawn to someone then ever before, does not mean that it is to our benefit to get involved with them on any level.  The feeling of chemistry in and of itself must be analyzed further that just the concept of: “I feel drawn to someone, so I’m going for it!”

Lorraine was in a dead end marriage that lacked sexual chemistry and passion, and although she hadn’t ever cheated on her husband, she was terribly frustrated in the union.  One day, she called a new plumber to come out to her house and fix the sink as it was leaking.  When she opened the door, she was immediately frozen and could barely speak.  As she first laid eyes on him, she never felt more attracted to anyone in her entire life.  Lorraine couldn’t help it — it was instantaneous and right there.  She felt chemistry, and literally wanted to make love to him right then and there without even knowing why.

Surprisingly to Lorraine, the plumber, who was ten years younger and attractive in kind of a cocky, bad boy way, starting flirting with her while on the job.  Lorraine felt like a school girl with a crush, but didn’t try and push the issue right then and there as this was new to her.

Because of how hypnotized she was by what she felt, she decided to have a reading about this situation, as she actually thought the plumber could be “the one.”  Her regular psychic Jasmine had predicted that Lorraine would eventually divorce, but wasn’t sure when and how.  Jasmine was startled by what she felt as she kept seeing that the plumber was an ex convict and only out to use Lorraine for her money as she and her husband were quite well to do.

Her reader told her that the chemistry Lorraine felt was dark:  she wanted passion, excitement and danger as that was missing from her marriage, but only wanted someone who was unattainable as she was in no place to manifest a new committed relationship at that time, and on top of that, Lorraine wanted to be punished for her sins – meaning that since she was doing a “bad” thing, she needed to be punished for her actions.  With the plumber, she got all of those things… and of course, Jasmine begged her not to have sex with the plumber.

But Lorraine refused to see any of this and threw caution to the wind in every way imaginable.  She began having a sexual affair with the younger plumber, boldly told her husband about it two months later, filed for divorce and forced her husband out of the residence.  She then moved the plumber into the house and believed that he and she would soon be engaged to be married.  For about six months, Lorraine felt hypnotized and entranced by the wild lustful love making with a much younger man who was commanding and dominant in bed, feeling like she was a new woman. 

However, after a little over seven months, the plumber proved Jasmine right.  He stole Lorraine’s credit cards, cleaned out her bank accounts and took her social security number as well.  And guess what — it wasn’t that hard for him to do.  Because Lorraine believed that they would soon be engaged, she gave him complete access to everything she had.  When she called the police, Lorraine found out the plumber was indeed an ex convict and never gave her his real name as he was using an alias.  So through all of the magical and wonderful “chemistry” she felt so entranced by, Lorraine lost nearly a million dollars.  Devastated and broken hearted, Lorraine not only had to start over emotionally, she was ruined financially as well. 

Her story is so telling as it shows quite graphically that all chemistry is not good.  Again, where is the chemistry coming from?  As stated earlier, the right information came through from spirit for her – she didn’t have to do this as it was a choice, and one that changed her journey irrevocably for the worse. 

Keep in mind that the examples of those who have made life choices that uprooted their lives in a horrible way through misunderstanding common terms in a reading and not listening to what spirit offers is a very helpful and positive thing to take note of.  If we can learn from the choices of others, we’re able to hopefully avoid the pitfalls that happened to those of us who rebuffed the insights that were indeed for their highest good.

Remember, spirit wants to help us and readings can be the muse for divine information to come through to us and for us.  We must first clearly understand the terms that we’re inquiring about and furthermore, it is incumbent upon us to listen to the information we receive with an open mind and heart because when we do so, we are in a position to truly manifest our divine dreams!  In the next blog entry, I will address five new additional terms that are commonplace in readings, yet greatly misunderstood and misinterpreted.

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